Was it a parrot? asks Terence.
Yes, a Glossy Black Cockatoo is a parrot, says Lisa. I'm sorry you missed it. It had lovely red tail bands.
Red tail bands! That's my dream parrot, says Terence.
Really? says Irene. Well then, while we're waiting for your irresponsible companions, I'll take you bird spotting.
Latham's Conservation Park is right next to Stokes Bay, says Lisa.
I know, says Irene. I'm not a tourist.
She's a spy, says Terence, under his breath, (so no one will hear him, but he will have said it).
They're sexually dimorphic, says Lisa. I suppose you knew that too.
Yes, says Irene. I knew that. And where's my skinny latte?
Coming, says Lisa.
She goes behind the counter to the coffee machine.
Terence stomps outside to look for Black Glossy Cockatoos while he's waiting.
He looks up into the sky.
A female Black Glossy Cockatoo soars overhead majestically.
But female Black Glossy Cockatoos are dark brownish with yellow spotting.
So, it's not the best name then.
And Terence doesn't know that he's seen one.
Irene finally finishes her skinny latte and comes out of the café.
We'll take Sweezus's bike, says Irene. That way they'll have to wait for us if they get back early.
Woo hoo! says Terence. I'm not allowed on his bike.
Well, you are now, says Irene. Sit on the back and hang on to my waist. No! Not my bottom!
I have to, says Terence.
Turn your head then, says Irene. Okay, off we go.
They are on their way to Latham's Conservation Park to do some bird spotting.
They enter the park.
There's one! says Irene. Look! In that Drooping She-oak!
Let me off! says Terence.
Irene is only too glad to.
Terence tiptoes over to the Drooping She-oak. Crackle, crackle....
The Glossy Black Cockatoo is holding a cone in one foot and shredding it with its powerful beak, to get at the seeds with its tongue.
He doesn't see Terence until:
Hello parrot, says Terence. I'm lost. I need some directions.
Pt-up! says the parrot.
UP? says Terence.
Pt-up! says the parrot.
Are you just spitting? asks Terence. Or talking?
Pt-ork! spits the parrot. Pt-up! That's better. Now what is it?
I said I was lost, says Terence. But I'm not really.
Nor am I, says the Black Glossy Cockatoo. This is my home. It's named after me. I'm a Calyptorhyncus lathami.
It's annoying when someone starts boasting.
I live in a palace, says Terence. It's named after me. The Terence.
The Glossy Black Cockatoo is impressed. He doesn't know there is no such palace.
Would you like to be my new parrot? asks Terence. There's a vacancy.
No thanks, says the Glossy Black Cockatoo.
Spitting out the last Allocasuarina verticillata seed, he flutters upwards.
He ought to be getting home to his missus.
If only he could remember what she looks like....
Monday, February 29, 2016
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Out Drops The Licked Smartie
Terence is distraught.
This is why.
Irene has driven him down to Stokes Bay to return him to Sweezus, Arthur and Vello.
Sweezus, Arthur and Vello are not there.
They'll be out there somewhere surfing, says Irene, gesturing towards the high waves beyond the rock pool.
But I need them now, says Terence.
Why? asks Irene.
I have to tell them something, says Terence.
We'll sit on the sand here and wait, says Irene.
Is there anything to eat? asks Terence.
No, says Irene. You ate all the sandwiches.
Is that a café? asks Terence.
Yes, says Irene. All right, we'll go there.
They walk across to the Rockpool Café.
In front of the café are three bicycles and two surfboards.
But the café is empty of customers.
Hi, says Lisa, have a seat. Hi, little fellow. Would you like a free cookie?
Is it red? asks Terence.
Not entirely, says Lisa. But it has a red Smartie on top.
Okay, says Terence.
I'll have a latte, says Irene. Make it a skinny.
Lisa takes a red Smartie cookie out of the cookie jar on the counter and brings it to Terence on a plate.
Having a nice day at the beach? asks Lisa.
Not really, says Irene. I'm supposed to be dropping this little guy off to some friends, but they must have gone off somewhere.
The guys who own the bikes and boards out the front? asks Lisa.
Terence looks out of the window.
Yes! says Terence. Those are their bikes!
Why didn't you say so before? asks Irene.
Because I thought they'd be in here, says Terence. And then I got a cookie.
He picks off the red Smartie, and licks it.
Those three guys went off with the Froggs, says Lisa. But they never said anything about meeting a kid here.
The Froggs? says Irene. Roger and Anita?
Yeah, they went up to Cape Torrens to dive the Portland Maru shipwreck, says Lisa.
Bugger, says Irene. They'll be forever.
Forever.
Terence's mouth opens. Out drops his licked Smartie on the hard floor of the cafe. The thin candy coating shatters like a broken eggshell.
Ten second rule! says Terence,
Oh no, you don't, says Irene, scooping it up before Terence can pick it up and eat it.
Which is why Terence is distraught.
But there is more to the story.
Lisa has spotted his amulet which contains peacock feathers ( but no head now ).
Do you like birds? asks Lisa.
Parrots, says Terence. I used to have.....
Look out the window, says Lisa. A glossy black cockatoo! Oh! Too late, you missed it!
Not a good day.
This is why.
Irene has driven him down to Stokes Bay to return him to Sweezus, Arthur and Vello.
Sweezus, Arthur and Vello are not there.
They'll be out there somewhere surfing, says Irene, gesturing towards the high waves beyond the rock pool.
But I need them now, says Terence.
Why? asks Irene.
I have to tell them something, says Terence.
We'll sit on the sand here and wait, says Irene.
Is there anything to eat? asks Terence.
No, says Irene. You ate all the sandwiches.
Is that a café? asks Terence.
Yes, says Irene. All right, we'll go there.
They walk across to the Rockpool Café.
In front of the café are three bicycles and two surfboards.
But the café is empty of customers.
Hi, says Lisa, have a seat. Hi, little fellow. Would you like a free cookie?
Is it red? asks Terence.
Not entirely, says Lisa. But it has a red Smartie on top.
Okay, says Terence.
I'll have a latte, says Irene. Make it a skinny.
Lisa takes a red Smartie cookie out of the cookie jar on the counter and brings it to Terence on a plate.
Having a nice day at the beach? asks Lisa.
Not really, says Irene. I'm supposed to be dropping this little guy off to some friends, but they must have gone off somewhere.
The guys who own the bikes and boards out the front? asks Lisa.
Terence looks out of the window.
Yes! says Terence. Those are their bikes!
Why didn't you say so before? asks Irene.
Because I thought they'd be in here, says Terence. And then I got a cookie.
He picks off the red Smartie, and licks it.
Those three guys went off with the Froggs, says Lisa. But they never said anything about meeting a kid here.
The Froggs? says Irene. Roger and Anita?
Yeah, they went up to Cape Torrens to dive the Portland Maru shipwreck, says Lisa.
Bugger, says Irene. They'll be forever.
Forever.
Terence's mouth opens. Out drops his licked Smartie on the hard floor of the cafe. The thin candy coating shatters like a broken eggshell.
Ten second rule! says Terence,
Oh no, you don't, says Irene, scooping it up before Terence can pick it up and eat it.
Which is why Terence is distraught.
But there is more to the story.
Lisa has spotted his amulet which contains peacock feathers ( but no head now ).
Do you like birds? asks Lisa.
Parrots, says Terence. I used to have.....
Look out the window, says Lisa. A glossy black cockatoo! Oh! Too late, you missed it!
Not a good day.
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Crazy Boy And His Poem Of The Sea
At last they arrive at Cape Torrens. Roger Frogg takes them out in his boat.
Soon they are bobbing over the dive site.
I'll stay up top, says Roger. The rest of you can go down. You first Jacques, you're the expert.
Vello has already got all his gear on, and perhaps doesn't hear Roger Frogg.
Looks like he doesn't want to go first, says Anita.
I'll go first, says Arthur. I've done it before.
Excellent, says Dan Diver. Got everything? Want a writing slate?
Yes, says Arthur. I might write a poem.
You idiot, says Sweezus. They're for messages.
Wait and see, says Arthur, dropping backwards gracefully.
Plop.
Anita goes next.
Plop.
Then Sweezus.
Plop.
Then Dan Diver, with an underwater camera.
Plop. Swooosh!
Okay, says Roger. Now you.
He gives Vello a friendly push towards the railing.
Oh, is it my turn? Vello drops in like a stone.
Down, down goes Vello, twenty five metres. Bloop bloop bloop bloop.
Down twenty five metres to the bottom where the Portland Maru lies waiting.
Vello gazes at the weed-covered steel entrails of the Portland Maru, sponges and mussels, seaweed, cnidarians, worms and crustaceans floating rhythmically backwards and forwards, eeuuw eeuuw wursh wursh.
Is that a wheel, no.... argh!.... a blue fish!
No it's Arthur. Arthur has a writing slate, with a yellow pen on a string. He is writing.
The water is murky.
A seal frolics by. What the devil is he doing?
A zebra fish follows a wrasse through the rusted steel bars of an open prison.
Sweezus swims overhead, what big feet he has. No, they're his flippers.
Vello spots Diver Dan.
Diver Dan is filming him.
Curses. Do I look like Jacques Cousteau?
Vello waves, in a way that befits a man at home in the ocean.
Dan waves back. Points towards Arthur.
Arthur is holding up his slate.
What has he written?
And from then on I bathed in the poem of the sea infused with stars and lactescent, devouring the azure verses...
That crazy boy.
Soon they are bobbing over the dive site.
I'll stay up top, says Roger. The rest of you can go down. You first Jacques, you're the expert.
Vello has already got all his gear on, and perhaps doesn't hear Roger Frogg.
Looks like he doesn't want to go first, says Anita.
I'll go first, says Arthur. I've done it before.
Excellent, says Dan Diver. Got everything? Want a writing slate?
Yes, says Arthur. I might write a poem.
You idiot, says Sweezus. They're for messages.
Wait and see, says Arthur, dropping backwards gracefully.
Plop.
Anita goes next.
Plop.
Then Sweezus.
Plop.
Then Dan Diver, with an underwater camera.
Plop. Swooosh!
Okay, says Roger. Now you.
He gives Vello a friendly push towards the railing.
Oh, is it my turn? Vello drops in like a stone.
Down, down goes Vello, twenty five metres. Bloop bloop bloop bloop.
Down twenty five metres to the bottom where the Portland Maru lies waiting.
Vello gazes at the weed-covered steel entrails of the Portland Maru, sponges and mussels, seaweed, cnidarians, worms and crustaceans floating rhythmically backwards and forwards, eeuuw eeuuw wursh wursh.
Is that a wheel, no.... argh!.... a blue fish!
No it's Arthur. Arthur has a writing slate, with a yellow pen on a string. He is writing.
The water is murky.
A seal frolics by. What the devil is he doing?
A zebra fish follows a wrasse through the rusted steel bars of an open prison.
Sweezus swims overhead, what big feet he has. No, they're his flippers.
Vello spots Diver Dan.
Diver Dan is filming him.
Curses. Do I look like Jacques Cousteau?
Vello waves, in a way that befits a man at home in the ocean.
Dan waves back. Points towards Arthur.
Arthur is holding up his slate.
What has he written?
And from then on I bathed in the poem of the sea infused with stars and lactescent, devouring the azure verses...
That crazy boy.
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Remembering Those Left Behind
Let's go! says Roger Frogg. You three can leave your bikes and surfboards at the Rockpool Cafe. The owners won't mind.
Shall I get out and sit in the back? asks Vello.
No, says Anita. You sit tight. Dan, you and Roger in the front. Me in the back with Sweezus and Arthur.
It's a long drive to Cape Torrens.
The conversation in the front seat is about shipwrecks.
There are over eighty of them off Kangaroo Island, says Roger Frogg. The Department of the Environment established a Shipwreck Trail.
They must be quite proud, says Jacques Cousteau. And what is the name of this one again?
The Portland Maru, says Dan Diver. She sank on the 22nd of March 1935. She was a Japanese-built steel steamship, carrying wheat from Port Lincoln to Yokohama. Hit an unknown object, began to take water. All forty crew rescued.
Jacques Cousteau is disappointed. No bones. No treasure.
The ship's generator was recovered, says Roger Frogg.
Yeah, for years it supplied the electricity for Kingscote, says Dan.
Hard to believe, says Jacques Cousteau.
The manganese bronze prop was recovered in 1967, says Roger Frogg. It's in the Kingscote Museum.
Not being quite as useful, says Jacques Cousteau.
Reckon not, says Dan Diver.
So what is left under the sea for us to look at? asks Jacques Cousteau.
Everything, says Dan. You'll love it.
Jacques Cousteau expresses a hope that he will.
In the back seat the conversation is along similar lines.
Anita: So guys, looking forward to the dive?
Sweezus: Yep. What's it called again?
Anita: Portland Maru.
Sweezus (googling on his smartphone): Got it!
Arthur: Let's see.
Sweezus. Hey, it looks awesome.
Arthur: Is that a ship's wheel covered in seaweed?
Sweezus: No, it's just seaweed. What's the music?
Anita: Jazz, I think.
Sweezus: Look, a blue fish!
Anita: That's a western blue groper.
Arthur: What's this one?
Anita: What do you think it is?
Arthur: A black and white striped fish.
Anita: Funny. It's a zebra fish.
Sweezus: Oh shit! Zebra. Terence!
Arthur: Good associative recall!
Anita: Who's Terence? A zebra?
Sweezus: No he's a kid that was with us, but he's gone to look at a zebu.
Anita: Oh, I know where that would be. Will's Rare Breeds Farm.
Sweezus: Irene 'll just have to keep him a bit longer.
Arthur: The longer the better.
Sweezus: Yeah, the longer the better.
This is not true of long car trips or unresolved conversations however.
There's only so far you can go.
Shall I get out and sit in the back? asks Vello.
No, says Anita. You sit tight. Dan, you and Roger in the front. Me in the back with Sweezus and Arthur.
It's a long drive to Cape Torrens.
The conversation in the front seat is about shipwrecks.
There are over eighty of them off Kangaroo Island, says Roger Frogg. The Department of the Environment established a Shipwreck Trail.
They must be quite proud, says Jacques Cousteau. And what is the name of this one again?
The Portland Maru, says Dan Diver. She sank on the 22nd of March 1935. She was a Japanese-built steel steamship, carrying wheat from Port Lincoln to Yokohama. Hit an unknown object, began to take water. All forty crew rescued.
Jacques Cousteau is disappointed. No bones. No treasure.
The ship's generator was recovered, says Roger Frogg.
Yeah, for years it supplied the electricity for Kingscote, says Dan.
Hard to believe, says Jacques Cousteau.
The manganese bronze prop was recovered in 1967, says Roger Frogg. It's in the Kingscote Museum.
Not being quite as useful, says Jacques Cousteau.
Reckon not, says Dan Diver.
So what is left under the sea for us to look at? asks Jacques Cousteau.
Everything, says Dan. You'll love it.
Jacques Cousteau expresses a hope that he will.
In the back seat the conversation is along similar lines.
Anita: So guys, looking forward to the dive?
Sweezus: Yep. What's it called again?
Anita: Portland Maru.
Sweezus (googling on his smartphone): Got it!
Arthur: Let's see.
Sweezus. Hey, it looks awesome.
Arthur: Is that a ship's wheel covered in seaweed?
Sweezus: No, it's just seaweed. What's the music?
Anita: Jazz, I think.
Sweezus: Look, a blue fish!
Anita: That's a western blue groper.
Arthur: What's this one?
Anita: What do you think it is?
Arthur: A black and white striped fish.
Anita: Funny. It's a zebra fish.
Sweezus: Oh shit! Zebra. Terence!
Arthur: Good associative recall!
Anita: Who's Terence? A zebra?
Sweezus: No he's a kid that was with us, but he's gone to look at a zebu.
Anita: Oh, I know where that would be. Will's Rare Breeds Farm.
Sweezus: Irene 'll just have to keep him a bit longer.
Arthur: The longer the better.
Sweezus: Yeah, the longer the better.
This is not true of long car trips or unresolved conversations however.
There's only so far you can go.
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
The Old Aqualung He Invented
Sweezus and Arthur have paddled out beyond the reef at Stokes Bay on their surfboards.
Vello is splashing up and down in the shallows, waiting for his turn.
He is not alone on the beach.
Hi! Jacques Cousteau!
He turns.
Fancy seeing you here! says a man in red board shorts. I can't believe it. I was in Penneshaw when you arrived on the ferry and the band played Calypso. I'm a big fan.
Are you? says Vello. A big fan of what? Calypso?
Ha ha, laughs the man. You. The Custodian of the Sea. Your book, Silent World. Your undersea discoveries and adventures. The aqualung. Diving shipwrecks.... are you diving round here?
No, actually I'm about to go surfing, says Vello.
.....because I'm going diving with some friends this afternoon, says the man. We're diving the Portland Maru, which sank just west of here. Don't suppose you'd like to come with us?
No thanks, says Vello. Surfing is my new interest. But don't let me hold you up.
You're not holding me up, says the man. Wow! Jacques Cousteau. Phew!
Ah, here come my surfing friends now, says Vello. Time for my lesson.
Yo! says Sweezus, shaking the drips from his hair. Too many sharks out there. Bummer. Not safe for a lesson.
Nonsense, says Vello. The Custodian of the Sea has no fear of sharks.
He should have, says Sweezus. Even Arthur was scared shitless.
Arthur nods. He was scared shitless.
I was just asking Mr Cousteau if he'd like to come diving with us at Cape Torrens, says the man in red board shorts. We're diving the Portland Maru. You guys could all come. We could hire extra equipment.
Hey! says Sweezus. That'd be awesome. Arthur? You in?
Arthur is in.
Jacques Cousteau can hardly refuse now.
........
The man in red board shorts is Daniel Diver. His friends are Anita and Roger Frogg.
Roger Frogg drives back into Kingscote with Vello to hire the extra equipment.
Three dive suits, three diving regulators, three dive lights and three diving knives.
Luckily, it's all on the house for the famous Custodian.
On the way back to Stokes Bay, Roger Frogg says:
I bet these new diving regulators are pretty different from the old aqualung you invented.
and Jacques Cousteau says:
No, no, not all that different.....
followed by:
....... nevertheless, somewhat different.
A convincing answer, and quite likely true.
Vello is splashing up and down in the shallows, waiting for his turn.
He is not alone on the beach.
Hi! Jacques Cousteau!
He turns.
Fancy seeing you here! says a man in red board shorts. I can't believe it. I was in Penneshaw when you arrived on the ferry and the band played Calypso. I'm a big fan.
Are you? says Vello. A big fan of what? Calypso?
Ha ha, laughs the man. You. The Custodian of the Sea. Your book, Silent World. Your undersea discoveries and adventures. The aqualung. Diving shipwrecks.... are you diving round here?
No, actually I'm about to go surfing, says Vello.
.....because I'm going diving with some friends this afternoon, says the man. We're diving the Portland Maru, which sank just west of here. Don't suppose you'd like to come with us?
No thanks, says Vello. Surfing is my new interest. But don't let me hold you up.
You're not holding me up, says the man. Wow! Jacques Cousteau. Phew!
Ah, here come my surfing friends now, says Vello. Time for my lesson.
Yo! says Sweezus, shaking the drips from his hair. Too many sharks out there. Bummer. Not safe for a lesson.
Nonsense, says Vello. The Custodian of the Sea has no fear of sharks.
He should have, says Sweezus. Even Arthur was scared shitless.
Arthur nods. He was scared shitless.
I was just asking Mr Cousteau if he'd like to come diving with us at Cape Torrens, says the man in red board shorts. We're diving the Portland Maru. You guys could all come. We could hire extra equipment.
Hey! says Sweezus. That'd be awesome. Arthur? You in?
Arthur is in.
Jacques Cousteau can hardly refuse now.
........
The man in red board shorts is Daniel Diver. His friends are Anita and Roger Frogg.
Roger Frogg drives back into Kingscote with Vello to hire the extra equipment.
Three dive suits, three diving regulators, three dive lights and three diving knives.
Luckily, it's all on the house for the famous Custodian.
On the way back to Stokes Bay, Roger Frogg says:
I bet these new diving regulators are pretty different from the old aqualung you invented.
and Jacques Cousteau says:
No, no, not all that different.....
followed by:
....... nevertheless, somewhat different.
A convincing answer, and quite likely true.
Monday, February 22, 2016
Straight To Heaven
Terence catches up to the rest of the party.
Will is showing the visitors his collection of Blackhead Persian sheep.
They have white hairy bodies, black heads and fat bottoms.
Look Terence, says Irene. These sheep have fat bottoms. Can you think of a reason?
Terence can't.
Anyway, it's disgusting.
Come here, says Irene. Yes, I thought so. We're going to have to get rid of those feathers. They smell.
We could wash them, says Terence.
Has your child had an accident? asks Will.
We just need some water, says Irene. I'm awfully sorry.
No worries, says Will. There's a tap over there.
Irene takes Terence to the tap. She pulls feather after feather from the red net plastic amulet.
The squeezed peacock head is unmasked.
This must go, says Irene. What is it?
It was my parrot, says Terence. Arthur killed it.
When something dies, says Irene, its spirit goes straight to heaven. You don't need to keep it.
Grandpa says that's rubbish, says Terence.
Oh, says Irene. Well I shan't try to compete with your grandpa. I suppose you mean Jacques?
No! says Terence. Double no!
Double no? says Irene. Why do you say that?
Can you think of a reason? asks Terence.
Oh I see, says Irene. Tit for tat. All right. I'll tell you why the Blackhead Persians have fat bottoms.
Why? says Terence.
To help them survive in the African desert, says Irene.
Then why are they here? asks Terence.
Too many questions, says Irene.
I'm a ruminant, says Terence.
Okay, says Irene. I believe you. Now tell me who Jacques really is.
Click! Whirr! She presses a switch in her pocket.
Will is showing the visitors his collection of Blackhead Persian sheep.
They have white hairy bodies, black heads and fat bottoms.
Look Terence, says Irene. These sheep have fat bottoms. Can you think of a reason?
Terence can't.
Anyway, it's disgusting.
Come here, says Irene. Yes, I thought so. We're going to have to get rid of those feathers. They smell.
We could wash them, says Terence.
Has your child had an accident? asks Will.
We just need some water, says Irene. I'm awfully sorry.
No worries, says Will. There's a tap over there.
Irene takes Terence to the tap. She pulls feather after feather from the red net plastic amulet.
The squeezed peacock head is unmasked.
This must go, says Irene. What is it?
It was my parrot, says Terence. Arthur killed it.
When something dies, says Irene, its spirit goes straight to heaven. You don't need to keep it.
Grandpa says that's rubbish, says Terence.
Oh, says Irene. Well I shan't try to compete with your grandpa. I suppose you mean Jacques?
No! says Terence. Double no!
Double no? says Irene. Why do you say that?
Can you think of a reason? asks Terence.
Oh I see, says Irene. Tit for tat. All right. I'll tell you why the Blackhead Persians have fat bottoms.
Why? says Terence.
To help them survive in the African desert, says Irene.
Then why are they here? asks Terence.
Too many questions, says Irene.
I'm a ruminant, says Terence.
Okay, says Irene. I believe you. Now tell me who Jacques really is.
Click! Whirr! She presses a switch in her pocket.
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Stirring The Gene Pool
Irene pays the twenty dollars entry. Terence gets in for free.
Just in time for the tour. Will is about to show a group of visitors the Rare Breeds of cattle.
At present, says Will, we have a few Naduana here. They're a miniature zebu from Sri Lanka. They range in height from ninety to a hundred and seven centimetres..... here's one now. You can pat her, she won't bite you.
How CUTE! says a tourist. She reaches down to pat the zebu.
The zebu rolls its eyes at the tourist. The tourist backs off.
We're also expecting some Watusi, says Will. From Africa. The Cattle of Kings. They'll be arriving shortly.
Shortly? The zebu looks sour.
I'm passionate about preserving the gene pool, says Will. Domestic farm animals are disappearing at the alarming rate of two breeds a week, globally. These are unique, irreplaceable gene pools we maintain here.
How inspirational! says Irene.
And now let's move on to the sheep, says Will. We have Blackhead Persians, Drysdales, Ronderib Africaners, Damora, and African 4-horns. Step this way. Mind the ... oopsy!
The group moves on to the sheep, except for Terence, who stays behind with the miniature cow.
You're not a zebu, says Terence. Zebus have stripes.
You're not the first kid to think that, says the zebu.
Do you like beetroot? asks Terence.
Have you got some? asks the zebu?
No, says Terence. Why are you asking?
I thought you had, says the zebu.
You're not the first cow to think that, says Terence. Ha ha, now we're even.
What have you got then? asks the zebu. I'm hungry.
Nothing, says Terence.
In that red net bag, says the zebu. I can smell it.
Terence sniffs. Yes, it's the same smell that he smelled in the car, and the smell that tainted the cheese and beetroot sandwiches.......
It's just feathers, says Terence. See, they came off my parrot. It died.
Nice 'parrot' feathers, says the zebu. Was it transitioning?
What does that mean? asks Terence.
Turning into something else, says the zebu.
Actually yes, says Terence. We call it reincarnating in Hindu.
Because those feathers look like peacock feathers, says the zebu.
Well, it wasn't turning into a peacock, says Terence. It was turning into a person. It already has.
Yes I can see, says the zebu, peering closely at the feather-lined net bag. It's got eyes and a beak. Are you sure it's a person?
This isn't the person, says Terence. The person's gone surfing.
Lucky person, says the zebu.
I'd better go, says Terence. I have to look at the sheep now.
Bye then, says the zebu. I wouldn't have eaten it anyhow.
What? asks Terence.
The stinky shrunken head in your amulet, says the zebu.
Why not? asks Terence.
I'm a ruminant, says the zebu.
Me too, says Terence. I never stop thinking.
Just in time for the tour. Will is about to show a group of visitors the Rare Breeds of cattle.
At present, says Will, we have a few Naduana here. They're a miniature zebu from Sri Lanka. They range in height from ninety to a hundred and seven centimetres..... here's one now. You can pat her, she won't bite you.
How CUTE! says a tourist. She reaches down to pat the zebu.
The zebu rolls its eyes at the tourist. The tourist backs off.
We're also expecting some Watusi, says Will. From Africa. The Cattle of Kings. They'll be arriving shortly.
Shortly? The zebu looks sour.
I'm passionate about preserving the gene pool, says Will. Domestic farm animals are disappearing at the alarming rate of two breeds a week, globally. These are unique, irreplaceable gene pools we maintain here.
How inspirational! says Irene.
And now let's move on to the sheep, says Will. We have Blackhead Persians, Drysdales, Ronderib Africaners, Damora, and African 4-horns. Step this way. Mind the ... oopsy!
The group moves on to the sheep, except for Terence, who stays behind with the miniature cow.
You're not a zebu, says Terence. Zebus have stripes.
You're not the first kid to think that, says the zebu.
Do you like beetroot? asks Terence.
Have you got some? asks the zebu?
No, says Terence. Why are you asking?
I thought you had, says the zebu.
You're not the first cow to think that, says Terence. Ha ha, now we're even.
What have you got then? asks the zebu. I'm hungry.
Nothing, says Terence.
In that red net bag, says the zebu. I can smell it.
Terence sniffs. Yes, it's the same smell that he smelled in the car, and the smell that tainted the cheese and beetroot sandwiches.......
It's just feathers, says Terence. See, they came off my parrot. It died.
Nice 'parrot' feathers, says the zebu. Was it transitioning?
What does that mean? asks Terence.
Turning into something else, says the zebu.
Actually yes, says Terence. We call it reincarnating in Hindu.
Because those feathers look like peacock feathers, says the zebu.
Well, it wasn't turning into a peacock, says Terence. It was turning into a person. It already has.
Yes I can see, says the zebu, peering closely at the feather-lined net bag. It's got eyes and a beak. Are you sure it's a person?
This isn't the person, says Terence. The person's gone surfing.
Lucky person, says the zebu.
I'd better go, says Terence. I have to look at the sheep now.
Bye then, says the zebu. I wouldn't have eaten it anyhow.
What? asks Terence.
The stinky shrunken head in your amulet, says the zebu.
Why not? asks Terence.
I'm a ruminant, says the zebu.
Me too, says Terence. I never stop thinking.
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Her Lips Are Sealed
Irene is driving the short distance to Will's Rare Breeds Farm.
Terence is sitting beside her on a cushion.
Sorry I don't have a baby seat, says Irene.
Sorry you don't have a baby, says Terence.
What! Oh ha ha. How old are you, Terence?
Terence toys with several answers. (520 million? two thousand and sixteen? a hundred and thirty three since Gaudi conceived him?)
The last being the closest.
Never mind, says Irene. Would you mind opening a window, it's a little bit smelly.
Terence has noticed this too.
........
Sweezus, Arthur and Vello are approaching Stokes Bay.
How pleasant this is, says Vello. The bay looks quite protected. Perhaps I should have a few lessons.
This part's protected, says Arthur. It's like a giant pool, surrounded by rocks. But out there the surf 'll be pounding.
Far out, says Sweezus. Can't wait to get out there.
They get off their bikes.
Terence would have liked this, says Vello.
Yeah, says Sweezus, But he'll like the farm animals as well.
What's a zebu? asks Arthur.
Dunno, says Sweezus. Hope it's not a rooster.
Some sort of miniature cow, says Vello. I doubt Terence will want to adopt it.
Man, says Sweezus. He loved that peacock. He wanted to keep the head. Freakin' gruesome.
Actually...... says Arthur.
I knew it! says Vello. It's in the net bag round his neck. You let him keep it!
Did you? asks Sweezus.
I squeezed it first, says Arthur. To get all the blood out. Its eyes popped back open.
It's going to STINK! says Sweezus. What'd you do that for?
Didn't think, says Arthur. Maybe Irene'll get it off him.
Of course! Irene'll get it off him.
Relieved, the three surfers head down to the bay
.........
Several cars are already parked outside Will's Rare Breeds Farm, when Irene and Terence arrive.
Shall we eat some cheese and beetroot sandwiches before we go in? asks Irene.
Yes, says Terence. I love beetroot.
They get out of the car and sit under a tree.
That's a very pretty amulet, says Irene. Are they peacock feathers?
Yes, from my parrot, says Terence.
A parrot with peacock feathers? says Irene. Was it a hybrid?
No, says Terence. It was a bird-head.
Stuffed? says Irene, passing Terence a sandwich.
Squeezed, says Terence. No, nothing. It's a secret.
You can tell me, says Irene. My lips are sealed.
What stupid things grown ups say sometimes.
Terence is sitting beside her on a cushion.
Sorry I don't have a baby seat, says Irene.
Sorry you don't have a baby, says Terence.
What! Oh ha ha. How old are you, Terence?
Terence toys with several answers. (520 million? two thousand and sixteen? a hundred and thirty three since Gaudi conceived him?)
The last being the closest.
Never mind, says Irene. Would you mind opening a window, it's a little bit smelly.
Terence has noticed this too.
........
Sweezus, Arthur and Vello are approaching Stokes Bay.
How pleasant this is, says Vello. The bay looks quite protected. Perhaps I should have a few lessons.
This part's protected, says Arthur. It's like a giant pool, surrounded by rocks. But out there the surf 'll be pounding.
Far out, says Sweezus. Can't wait to get out there.
They get off their bikes.
Terence would have liked this, says Vello.
Yeah, says Sweezus, But he'll like the farm animals as well.
What's a zebu? asks Arthur.
Dunno, says Sweezus. Hope it's not a rooster.
Some sort of miniature cow, says Vello. I doubt Terence will want to adopt it.
Man, says Sweezus. He loved that peacock. He wanted to keep the head. Freakin' gruesome.
Actually...... says Arthur.
I knew it! says Vello. It's in the net bag round his neck. You let him keep it!
Did you? asks Sweezus.
I squeezed it first, says Arthur. To get all the blood out. Its eyes popped back open.
It's going to STINK! says Sweezus. What'd you do that for?
Didn't think, says Arthur. Maybe Irene'll get it off him.
Of course! Irene'll get it off him.
Relieved, the three surfers head down to the bay
.........
Several cars are already parked outside Will's Rare Breeds Farm, when Irene and Terence arrive.
Shall we eat some cheese and beetroot sandwiches before we go in? asks Irene.
Yes, says Terence. I love beetroot.
They get out of the car and sit under a tree.
That's a very pretty amulet, says Irene. Are they peacock feathers?
Yes, from my parrot, says Terence.
A parrot with peacock feathers? says Irene. Was it a hybrid?
No, says Terence. It was a bird-head.
Stuffed? says Irene, passing Terence a sandwich.
Squeezed, says Terence. No, nothing. It's a secret.
You can tell me, says Irene. My lips are sealed.
What stupid things grown ups say sometimes.
Friday, February 19, 2016
Peeling Away Unnecessary Persons
It's only feathers, says Terence.
A memento of your peacock? asks Sweezus.
Yes, says Terence. Arthur helped me pull them out. And we found this red net bag in the rubbish.
It looks kind of heavy, says Sweezus. Let me feel it.
NO! says Terence.
Okay, okay, says Sweezus.
Now that you're back, Arthur, says Gaius, I suggest we get a move on. We're going back to Emu Bay with Dr Yu Liu to do a spot more digging.
I can't dig, says Arthur. My leg hurts.
Perhaps you could take notes, says Gaius. Do you still have the pencils?
I have plenty of pencils, says Dr Yu Liu. We don't need him. What about your colleague ?
Me? says Ssü-K'ung Shu. I'm a poet, as I already told you.
That's why you'll make a good companion, says Dr Yu Liu.
Arthur also is a poet, says Gaius.
But he can't dig, says Dr Yu Liu.
Ssu-K'ung Shu now realises that he will be digging.
And he's still not sure about the Chinese spy thing.
But it's too late to get out of the expedition now.
........
Gaius, Dr Yu Liu and Ssü-K'ung Shu have cycled off in a westerly direction, to Emu Bay.
That leaves us, says Sweezus. What'll we do?
Animals! says Terence.
What animals? asks Sweezus.
Rare animals, says Arthur. Terence found this brochure near the bin.
You can pet them! says Terence.
Where is it? asks Sweezus.
Stokes Bay, says Arthur. It's out past Emu Bay. They have Rare Animals at Paul's Place. And incidentally, good surfing out beyond the bay.
Now you're talking, says Sweezus. You up for it?
Yes, says Arthur.
I have a suggestion, says Vello. Let's all ride out there.
Yay! says Terence, jumping up and down until a beak emerges through the feathers in his amulet.
Oops! says Terence, pushing it back inside.
Lucky Sweezus didn't see it.
........
There's a new sign outside Rare Animals At Paul's Place.
TEMPORARILY CLOSED.
A few tourists stand looking at it, grumbling.
All this way, for nothing!
What's this? says Vello, getting off his bike. Oh, hello Irene!
Hello Jacques! says Irene. Where's Mr Suzuki?
He's in Emu Bay, says Vello. Pity about this place being closed. Terence will be disappointed.
No need to be, says Irene. Will's Rare Breeds Farm isn't far from here. They rescue and shelter rare domesticated farm animals. I'm heading over there.
Would you like to take Terence with you? says Sweezus.
Ha ha, says Irene. He doesn't know me.
Well yeah, but we know you, says Sweezus. You're a nice person. You gave us an onion. We could meet up later at the Bay. We'll be down there, surfing.
Hadn't we better ask Terence? says Irene. Terence, how would you like to come with me to Will's Rare Breeds Farm? I believe they have a miniature zebu there. I also have far too many cheese and beetroot sandwiches. We could share them.
Yes, please, says Terence. Beetroot is my favourite.
And so the lovely outing is arranged.
A memento of your peacock? asks Sweezus.
Yes, says Terence. Arthur helped me pull them out. And we found this red net bag in the rubbish.
It looks kind of heavy, says Sweezus. Let me feel it.
NO! says Terence.
Okay, okay, says Sweezus.
Now that you're back, Arthur, says Gaius, I suggest we get a move on. We're going back to Emu Bay with Dr Yu Liu to do a spot more digging.
I can't dig, says Arthur. My leg hurts.
Perhaps you could take notes, says Gaius. Do you still have the pencils?
I have plenty of pencils, says Dr Yu Liu. We don't need him. What about your colleague ?
Me? says Ssü-K'ung Shu. I'm a poet, as I already told you.
That's why you'll make a good companion, says Dr Yu Liu.
Arthur also is a poet, says Gaius.
But he can't dig, says Dr Yu Liu.
Ssu-K'ung Shu now realises that he will be digging.
And he's still not sure about the Chinese spy thing.
But it's too late to get out of the expedition now.
........
Gaius, Dr Yu Liu and Ssü-K'ung Shu have cycled off in a westerly direction, to Emu Bay.
That leaves us, says Sweezus. What'll we do?
Animals! says Terence.
What animals? asks Sweezus.
Rare animals, says Arthur. Terence found this brochure near the bin.
You can pet them! says Terence.
Where is it? asks Sweezus.
Stokes Bay, says Arthur. It's out past Emu Bay. They have Rare Animals at Paul's Place. And incidentally, good surfing out beyond the bay.
Now you're talking, says Sweezus. You up for it?
Yes, says Arthur.
I have a suggestion, says Vello. Let's all ride out there.
Yay! says Terence, jumping up and down until a beak emerges through the feathers in his amulet.
Oops! says Terence, pushing it back inside.
Lucky Sweezus didn't see it.
........
There's a new sign outside Rare Animals At Paul's Place.
TEMPORARILY CLOSED.
A few tourists stand looking at it, grumbling.
All this way, for nothing!
What's this? says Vello, getting off his bike. Oh, hello Irene!
Hello Jacques! says Irene. Where's Mr Suzuki?
He's in Emu Bay, says Vello. Pity about this place being closed. Terence will be disappointed.
No need to be, says Irene. Will's Rare Breeds Farm isn't far from here. They rescue and shelter rare domesticated farm animals. I'm heading over there.
Would you like to take Terence with you? says Sweezus.
Ha ha, says Irene. He doesn't know me.
Well yeah, but we know you, says Sweezus. You're a nice person. You gave us an onion. We could meet up later at the Bay. We'll be down there, surfing.
Hadn't we better ask Terence? says Irene. Terence, how would you like to come with me to Will's Rare Breeds Farm? I believe they have a miniature zebu there. I also have far too many cheese and beetroot sandwiches. We could share them.
Yes, please, says Terence. Beetroot is my favourite.
And so the lovely outing is arranged.
Thursday, February 18, 2016
Any Other Disappearing Things
I'm expecting Dr Yu Liu any minute, says Gaius. And there's a dead peacock on the floor.
Everyone looks at the headless peacock.
Could someone get rid of it, please? asks Gaius.
Okay, says Arthur. I'll do it.
He gathers up the lifeless body with its drooping fan of tail feathers, and heads for the door.
Don't forget the head, says Gaius.
I'll bring it, says Terence, grabbing the peacock's head from the table. He follows Arthur out.
There is a knock on the door of the cabin. It's Dr Yu Liu.
Good morning, Gaius, says Dr Yu Liu. Are you ready to return to Emu Bay?
Not quite, says Gaius. My right hand man has just stepped out for a moment. How about a cup of tea?
Sweezus gets the cups out.
Ssü-K'ung Shu switches on the kettle.
Vello wipes the bird blood off the table.
Thank you, says Dr Yu Liu. You seem to have no shortage of assistants.
They are not my assistants, says Gaius. They are my colleagues. This is Ve....Jacques Cousteau. This is Shu.... David Suzuki. And this is Sweezus. He has on occasion been my assistant. He accidentally captured an endangered bristlebird on my last expedition, but unfortunately was less successful with the rare funnel web spider. He......
Okay okay, says Sweezus. Sugar?
No thanks, says Dr Yu Liu. He stares at Ssü-K'ung Shu, who does not look at all like David Suzuki.
I believe we met earlier, says Dr Yu Liu. On the road to Emu Bay. You turned back immediately afterwards.
I thought you may have been a Chinese government spy, says Ssü-K'ung Shu.
No way, says Dr Yu Liu. The Chinese government is not so foolish as to send a spy who rides a Flying Pigeon.
That makes sense, says Ssü-K'ung Shu.
You don't look much like David Suzuki, observes Dr Yu Liu.
To be honest, says Ssü-K'ung Shu, I am a Middle Tang poet.
Ah, says Dr Yu Liu. I love the Middle Tang!
I wonder why my inlaid harp has fifty strings
Each flower-like fret an interval of youth
Mermen weep their pearly tears down a moon grey sea....
And a moment that ought to have lasted forever
Has come and gone before I knew.
Excellent, says Vello, I might use that in my lecture.
What is the subject of your your lecture? asks Dr Yu Liu.
Hmm, the disappearing sea, says Vello, and any other disappearing things I can come up with.
Did you know they're planning to build a golf course here on KI? asks Dr Yu Liu.
How nice, says Vello. No wait! Outrageous!
Exactly, says Dr Yu Liu. Imagine how much water that will use.
I shall have a few sharp words to say to Mayor Clements, says Vello.
Arthur comes back in, with Terence.
Terence has a little bag suspended from a cord around his neck.
The bag is made of red plastic netting, so anyone can see what's in it.
Correction: Anyone might think that they can see what's in it.
Everyone looks at the headless peacock.
Could someone get rid of it, please? asks Gaius.
Okay, says Arthur. I'll do it.
He gathers up the lifeless body with its drooping fan of tail feathers, and heads for the door.
Don't forget the head, says Gaius.
I'll bring it, says Terence, grabbing the peacock's head from the table. He follows Arthur out.
There is a knock on the door of the cabin. It's Dr Yu Liu.
Good morning, Gaius, says Dr Yu Liu. Are you ready to return to Emu Bay?
Not quite, says Gaius. My right hand man has just stepped out for a moment. How about a cup of tea?
Sweezus gets the cups out.
Ssü-K'ung Shu switches on the kettle.
Vello wipes the bird blood off the table.
Thank you, says Dr Yu Liu. You seem to have no shortage of assistants.
They are not my assistants, says Gaius. They are my colleagues. This is Ve....Jacques Cousteau. This is Shu.... David Suzuki. And this is Sweezus. He has on occasion been my assistant. He accidentally captured an endangered bristlebird on my last expedition, but unfortunately was less successful with the rare funnel web spider. He......
Okay okay, says Sweezus. Sugar?
No thanks, says Dr Yu Liu. He stares at Ssü-K'ung Shu, who does not look at all like David Suzuki.
I believe we met earlier, says Dr Yu Liu. On the road to Emu Bay. You turned back immediately afterwards.
I thought you may have been a Chinese government spy, says Ssü-K'ung Shu.
No way, says Dr Yu Liu. The Chinese government is not so foolish as to send a spy who rides a Flying Pigeon.
That makes sense, says Ssü-K'ung Shu.
You don't look much like David Suzuki, observes Dr Yu Liu.
To be honest, says Ssü-K'ung Shu, I am a Middle Tang poet.
Ah, says Dr Yu Liu. I love the Middle Tang!
I wonder why my inlaid harp has fifty strings
Each flower-like fret an interval of youth
Mermen weep their pearly tears down a moon grey sea....
And a moment that ought to have lasted forever
Has come and gone before I knew.
Excellent, says Vello, I might use that in my lecture.
What is the subject of your your lecture? asks Dr Yu Liu.
Hmm, the disappearing sea, says Vello, and any other disappearing things I can come up with.
Did you know they're planning to build a golf course here on KI? asks Dr Yu Liu.
How nice, says Vello. No wait! Outrageous!
Exactly, says Dr Yu Liu. Imagine how much water that will use.
I shall have a few sharp words to say to Mayor Clements, says Vello.
Arthur comes back in, with Terence.
Terence has a little bag suspended from a cord around his neck.
The bag is made of red plastic netting, so anyone can see what's in it.
Correction: Anyone might think that they can see what's in it.
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Power Play
Can I keep the head? asks Terence.
I don't think so, says Sweezus.
But Terence wants to.
Who's the parrot, and who's the person? says Terence. I am.
The parrot and the person? says Sweezus.
The person, says Terence. You came back as the parrot. That means we do what I say.
No, Terence, says Sweezus. Let's be clear about this. I am a person.
You just don't remember, says Terence. Are you still a Hindu?
No, says Sweezus. I'm not a Hindu. I'm not a bird. As if, man....
I'll give you a test, says Terence. Who can play a trumpet, and before that, I couldn't?
Think hard, says Vello. The peacock knew the answer.
I knew the answer, says Sweezus. I heard him playing. It wasn't too bad.
It was good, says Terence. And now I know you've come back as my parrot.
The parrot's come back as me, you mean, says Sweezus.
YES! cries Terence.
Okay, says Sweezus. It's come back as me. This is cool. Know why, little bro?
Why? asks Terence.
With you and me, there was always this thing: You love birds, I can't stand 'em. Now we're bird-less.
Bird-less, says Terence.
The reality of the situation sinks in. He is stuck with a parrot that hates parrots and doesn't even look like a parrot and is bossy and won't let him DO ANYTHING.
He's definitely keeping that head.
I don't think so, says Sweezus.
But Terence wants to.
Who's the parrot, and who's the person? says Terence. I am.
The parrot and the person? says Sweezus.
The person, says Terence. You came back as the parrot. That means we do what I say.
No, Terence, says Sweezus. Let's be clear about this. I am a person.
You just don't remember, says Terence. Are you still a Hindu?
No, says Sweezus. I'm not a Hindu. I'm not a bird. As if, man....
I'll give you a test, says Terence. Who can play a trumpet, and before that, I couldn't?
Think hard, says Vello. The peacock knew the answer.
I knew the answer, says Sweezus. I heard him playing. It wasn't too bad.
It was good, says Terence. And now I know you've come back as my parrot.
The parrot's come back as me, you mean, says Sweezus.
YES! cries Terence.
Okay, says Sweezus. It's come back as me. This is cool. Know why, little bro?
Why? asks Terence.
With you and me, there was always this thing: You love birds, I can't stand 'em. Now we're bird-less.
Bird-less, says Terence.
The reality of the situation sinks in. He is stuck with a parrot that hates parrots and doesn't even look like a parrot and is bossy and won't let him DO ANYTHING.
He's definitely keeping that head.
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
Fastest Reincarnation Ever
Sorry, Terence, says Arthur. I wasn't trying to cut her head off.
What were you trying? asks Terence.
I was trying to saw through the radio collar, says Arthur. But a Swiss Army knife can be tricky. See, I was sawing the collar with the small blade, but the corkscrew collapsed and the pliers popped out, then the wire stripper stripped off a few feathers when the chisel sprang up, which meant the large blade was sticking out at a right angle.
And you didn't realise that you were SAWING HER HEAD OFF, says Terence. You're an idiot!
It may be all for the best, says Arthur.
Terence picks up the head of his peacock. The eyes are staring in horror.
Her eyes are staring in horror, says Terence. This will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Gaius will fix it, says Arthur.
What's this? says Gaius. What's happened?
Arthur cut off my parrot's head, says Terence. And it's staring in horror.
I'll fix that, says Gaius. Give it to me.
Gaius places the peacock's head on the table and gently closes its eyelids.
And Arthur said it was all for the BEST, says Terence.
Did he? says Vello. Arthur, you would make a fine Doctor Pangloss.
It's actually all for the WORST, says Terence.
Wasn't it a Hindu? says Arthur.
We both were, says Terence.
Then it will be reincarnated, says Arthur.
What does that mean? asks Terence.
Come back, says Arthur. As something. Maybe a real parrot. Maybe a person. Or even a bee.
A bee? Ssü-K'ung Shu smiles at the thought of the peacock coming back as a bee.
(Even though it wouldn't be funny)
When? asks Terence, picking up the head and staring at it intently.
Terence, says Vello, that is not how reincarnation works. The peacock is finished. You must wait for it to be reborn into another body.
Ridiculous, says Gaius.
Just humouring him, says Vello. No doubt you have your own foolish beliefs about what happens after.
I do not, says Gaius. And nor did he, until you and Arthur put ideas in his .....
Sweezus appears in the doorway.
He's here! cries Terence. My parrot! Oh my parrot. Was it bad being dead? Look at you, you had your head cut off. That's you on the table.
Freak me out! says Sweezus. What's happened in here?
Peacock's dead, says Arthur. And I did it without upsetting Terence. He's happy.
And it's true. Terence is happy his parrot has come back as Sweezus and not as a bee.
What were you trying? asks Terence.
I was trying to saw through the radio collar, says Arthur. But a Swiss Army knife can be tricky. See, I was sawing the collar with the small blade, but the corkscrew collapsed and the pliers popped out, then the wire stripper stripped off a few feathers when the chisel sprang up, which meant the large blade was sticking out at a right angle.
And you didn't realise that you were SAWING HER HEAD OFF, says Terence. You're an idiot!
It may be all for the best, says Arthur.
Terence picks up the head of his peacock. The eyes are staring in horror.
Her eyes are staring in horror, says Terence. This will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Gaius will fix it, says Arthur.
What's this? says Gaius. What's happened?
Arthur cut off my parrot's head, says Terence. And it's staring in horror.
I'll fix that, says Gaius. Give it to me.
Gaius places the peacock's head on the table and gently closes its eyelids.
And Arthur said it was all for the BEST, says Terence.
Did he? says Vello. Arthur, you would make a fine Doctor Pangloss.
It's actually all for the WORST, says Terence.
Wasn't it a Hindu? says Arthur.
We both were, says Terence.
Then it will be reincarnated, says Arthur.
What does that mean? asks Terence.
Come back, says Arthur. As something. Maybe a real parrot. Maybe a person. Or even a bee.
A bee? Ssü-K'ung Shu smiles at the thought of the peacock coming back as a bee.
(Even though it wouldn't be funny)
When? asks Terence, picking up the head and staring at it intently.
Terence, says Vello, that is not how reincarnation works. The peacock is finished. You must wait for it to be reborn into another body.
Ridiculous, says Gaius.
Just humouring him, says Vello. No doubt you have your own foolish beliefs about what happens after.
I do not, says Gaius. And nor did he, until you and Arthur put ideas in his .....
Sweezus appears in the doorway.
He's here! cries Terence. My parrot! Oh my parrot. Was it bad being dead? Look at you, you had your head cut off. That's you on the table.
Freak me out! says Sweezus. What's happened in here?
Peacock's dead, says Arthur. And I did it without upsetting Terence. He's happy.
And it's true. Terence is happy his parrot has come back as Sweezus and not as a bee.
Monday, February 15, 2016
Murder Most Fowl
You go in, says Sweezus. I'm not going in.
Why aren't you going in? asks Arthur.
The peacock, says Sweezus.
I'll go in, says Arthur. I'll get rid of the peacock.
Without upsetting Terence, says Sweezus.
Yes, says Arthur.
Arthur goes into the cabin, where Gaius is trying to open his bag of spiced peas.
Arthur! says Gaius. I hear you were wounded.
I'm okay, says Arthur. Is there a peacock in here? Sweezus won't come in.
Oh yes he will, says Vello. He needs to practise his lines.
Ssü-K'ung Shu takes the bag of spiced peas from Gaius.
If he won't come in, says Shu, I'll read his lines with Arthur.
What good will that do? says Vello.
No good, says Arthur.
Shu bites the bag open, the spiced peas spill out.
Terence is whispering to his peacock, under the table.
Terence: You're doomed because no one knows where you are.
Peacock: You know.
Terence: But I'm your disciple.
Peacock: Yes. It's time for your lesson. Today's lesson is on Equivalence.
Arthur: Can I listen?
Peacock: It's all the same to me. The idea of equivalence is cherished in Hinduism.
Terence: What is it?
Arthur: It's when two things are the same.
Terence: Like me and Sweezus.
Peacock: I'm giving this lesson. And who is Sweezus?
Terence: He's outside.
Peacock: That is not an equivalence. Equivalence is established when two different gods are identified as equivalents, such as Shiva and Vishnu.
Arthur: How is the equivalence established?
Peacock: By one being limitless, the other supreme.
Terence: Like a pizza!
Peacock: The lesson is over.
Terence: Thank you, my parrot.
Peacock: Peacock.
Arthur: Feral peacock.
Peacock: How did you know?
Arthur: The radio collar.
Peacock: Oh-oh!
Arthur: Want me to undo it?
Peacock: What with?
Arthur: My Swiss Army knife. It has thirty three functions.
He whips it out of his pocket. Fans out the snippers and strippers and corkscrews and blades.
The peacock thrusts her neck forward. Soon she will be free.
Arthur starts sawing, backwards and forwards.
Ee-arrr-ee-arrr-ee-arrr....
Terence watches in fascination as the head of his parrot drops off.
Why aren't you going in? asks Arthur.
The peacock, says Sweezus.
I'll go in, says Arthur. I'll get rid of the peacock.
Without upsetting Terence, says Sweezus.
Yes, says Arthur.
Arthur goes into the cabin, where Gaius is trying to open his bag of spiced peas.
Arthur! says Gaius. I hear you were wounded.
I'm okay, says Arthur. Is there a peacock in here? Sweezus won't come in.
Oh yes he will, says Vello. He needs to practise his lines.
Ssü-K'ung Shu takes the bag of spiced peas from Gaius.
If he won't come in, says Shu, I'll read his lines with Arthur.
What good will that do? says Vello.
No good, says Arthur.
Shu bites the bag open, the spiced peas spill out.
Terence is whispering to his peacock, under the table.
Terence: You're doomed because no one knows where you are.
Peacock: You know.
Terence: But I'm your disciple.
Peacock: Yes. It's time for your lesson. Today's lesson is on Equivalence.
Arthur: Can I listen?
Peacock: It's all the same to me. The idea of equivalence is cherished in Hinduism.
Terence: What is it?
Arthur: It's when two things are the same.
Terence: Like me and Sweezus.
Peacock: I'm giving this lesson. And who is Sweezus?
Terence: He's outside.
Peacock: That is not an equivalence. Equivalence is established when two different gods are identified as equivalents, such as Shiva and Vishnu.
Arthur: How is the equivalence established?
Peacock: By one being limitless, the other supreme.
Terence: Like a pizza!
Peacock: The lesson is over.
Terence: Thank you, my parrot.
Peacock: Peacock.
Arthur: Feral peacock.
Peacock: How did you know?
Arthur: The radio collar.
Peacock: Oh-oh!
Arthur: Want me to undo it?
Peacock: What with?
Arthur: My Swiss Army knife. It has thirty three functions.
He whips it out of his pocket. Fans out the snippers and strippers and corkscrews and blades.
The peacock thrusts her neck forward. Soon she will be free.
Arthur starts sawing, backwards and forwards.
Ee-arrr-ee-arrr-ee-arrr....
Terence watches in fascination as the head of his parrot drops off.
Sunday, February 14, 2016
Millions Of Gods
I'll drop you off at Central Backpackers, says Mayor Clements. It's where your colleague Gaius is staying.
Free of charge? enquires Vello.
Naturally, says Mayor Clements. And it's where you'll be staying as well.
All four of us? asks Vello.
Yes I suppose so, says Mayor Clements, gloomily totting up four extra lots of seventy five dollars over three nights in his head.
Too kind, says Vello. See you at the Town Hall on Friday evening.
If not before, says Mayor Clements to himself, as he drives away.
Gaius's head appears, framed in a cabin window.
Where is Arthur? Did he come back with you?
Yes, yes, we're all here, says Vello. Don't fuss. Arthur's just over there with Sweezus, getting his knee looked at.
Terence's head appears in the window, wearing a head band, sporting three peacock feathers.
Terence's head disappears.
Come in, says Gaius. I'll show you my notes and drawings from the Emu Bay Shale, showing faunal elements in common with other Burgess-Shale type assemblages including the Chengjiang Biota. And you must meet Dr Yu Liu, who is kindly assisting me to understand the techniques of immuno-histo-chemistry and confocal laser scanning microscopy, in which he is an expert.....
For goodness sake! explodes Vello. Do you think Shu and I are interested in such small talk? Is there any breakfast?
Of course! says Gaius. Come in. I have tea bags, hot water, and spiced dried peas. At least I think so. Let me...
As Shu and Vello step through the doorway, they bump into Terence, running towards them.
Terence! says Vello. How are you enjoying ...?
I'm running, says Terence. Don't stop me.
Terence runs outside. He runs straight up to Sweezus and Arthur.
Hello, says Sweezus. Nice headband.
Terence feels one of his feathers tipping sideways.
It keeps happening. Peacock feathers are long.
I've got a new parrot, says Terence. Want to see her?
Later, says Sweezus. How about you just tell me about her.
Okay, says Terence. She's a Hindu. And now I'm a Hindu.
I don't know that much about Hinduism, says Sweezus.
I do, says Arthur. They have millions of gods.
No we don't, says Terence. That's called Smartism. We have the Brahmin.
Cool, says Sweezus. What's he like?
Beyond all descriptions, says Terence.
That's mental, says Sweezus.
Ask my parrot, says Terence. She has a no-thinking collar.
A choker? asks Arthur.
A tracker, says Terence. So everyone knows where we are.
Hang on, says Sweezus. If she's wearing a tracker, she can't be doomed.
What's doomed? says Terence. Why can't she be doomed?
Like, they must want to know where she goes, says Sweezus, so they wouldn't be likely to stop her from going wherever......
..... by killing her, says Arthur. Is it still beeping?
Beeping? wails Terence. I don't knoooooooow!
Flashing? asks Sweezus.
It's not helping.
Terence has run back inside.
Free of charge? enquires Vello.
Naturally, says Mayor Clements. And it's where you'll be staying as well.
All four of us? asks Vello.
Yes I suppose so, says Mayor Clements, gloomily totting up four extra lots of seventy five dollars over three nights in his head.
Too kind, says Vello. See you at the Town Hall on Friday evening.
If not before, says Mayor Clements to himself, as he drives away.
Gaius's head appears, framed in a cabin window.
Where is Arthur? Did he come back with you?
Yes, yes, we're all here, says Vello. Don't fuss. Arthur's just over there with Sweezus, getting his knee looked at.
Terence's head appears in the window, wearing a head band, sporting three peacock feathers.
Terence's head disappears.
Come in, says Gaius. I'll show you my notes and drawings from the Emu Bay Shale, showing faunal elements in common with other Burgess-Shale type assemblages including the Chengjiang Biota. And you must meet Dr Yu Liu, who is kindly assisting me to understand the techniques of immuno-histo-chemistry and confocal laser scanning microscopy, in which he is an expert.....
For goodness sake! explodes Vello. Do you think Shu and I are interested in such small talk? Is there any breakfast?
Of course! says Gaius. Come in. I have tea bags, hot water, and spiced dried peas. At least I think so. Let me...
As Shu and Vello step through the doorway, they bump into Terence, running towards them.
Terence! says Vello. How are you enjoying ...?
I'm running, says Terence. Don't stop me.
Terence runs outside. He runs straight up to Sweezus and Arthur.
Hello, says Sweezus. Nice headband.
Terence feels one of his feathers tipping sideways.
It keeps happening. Peacock feathers are long.
I've got a new parrot, says Terence. Want to see her?
Later, says Sweezus. How about you just tell me about her.
Okay, says Terence. She's a Hindu. And now I'm a Hindu.
I don't know that much about Hinduism, says Sweezus.
I do, says Arthur. They have millions of gods.
No we don't, says Terence. That's called Smartism. We have the Brahmin.
Cool, says Sweezus. What's he like?
Beyond all descriptions, says Terence.
That's mental, says Sweezus.
Ask my parrot, says Terence. She has a no-thinking collar.
A choker? asks Arthur.
A tracker, says Terence. So everyone knows where we are.
Hang on, says Sweezus. If she's wearing a tracker, she can't be doomed.
What's doomed? says Terence. Why can't she be doomed?
Like, they must want to know where she goes, says Sweezus, so they wouldn't be likely to stop her from going wherever......
..... by killing her, says Arthur. Is it still beeping?
Beeping? wails Terence. I don't knoooooooow!
Flashing? asks Sweezus.
It's not helping.
Terence has run back inside.
Saturday, February 13, 2016
Dings Chips And Cracks
Next morning Mayor Clements turns up early.
He parks his Ford Escape SUV beside Cabin Six.
Sweezus is on the verandah, checking for dings, chips and cracks in his surfboard.
Cousteau and Suzuki about? asks Mayor Clements. I promised them a lift back to Kingscote.
Yeah, go in, says Sweezus.
Mayor Clements goes in.
Vello and Ssü-K'ung Shu are drinking black coffee. Arthur is asleep on the hard off-white vinyl settee.
How was your stay? asks Mayor Clements. Did you do the Nocturnal?
Yes, we did, says Vello. Very nice. Caught an echidna for supper.
Mayor Clements looks alarmed.
Joking, says Vello. There was no food in the cabin. Luckily we had some dried eels. No doubt you can smell them. We boiled them with lemon myrtle, which Su-Zu-Ki got into trouble for picking. No permit. Also wild bush tomatoes and bush peas which he obtained clandestinely. And an onion, from our neighbour Irene. The boys stayed out too long surfing and Arthur was bitten by a shark and Sweezus had a highly disturbing premonition.
Irene! says Mayor Clements. Is she here?
He rushes out of Cabin Six and across to Cabin Five next door.
That was not the response I was expecting, says Vello.
He's coming back, says Ssü-K'ung Shu.
Wrong Irene, says Mayor Clements, upon re-entering. Now what were you saying? Never mind. Are you both ready to go?
May I ask a favour? says Vello.
Certainly, says Mayor Clements.
......
Soon the Ford Escape SUV is on the road back to Kingscote, with Vello, Shu, Sweezus and Arthur inside. Bikes in the back, surfboards on the top rack. No problems.
Sweezus is deep in thought, Arthur is dozing.
So, says Mayor Clements, have you gentlemen given any thought to your talks at the town hall on Friday?
I thought I might talk about the poetry of the Middle Tang period, says Shu.
As related to what? asks Mayor Clements.
Loss and displacement, says Shu. The transience of modes of existence.
That will be interesting, says Mayor Clements. What about you, Jacques?
Ah, says Vello. Something about the....errm.....rapidly disappearing ocean.
Disappearing? says Mayor Clements. I didn't realise. Where is it going?
As we know it, says Vello. Full of plastic, coffee cups, and pests.
Oh yes, pests, says Mayor Clements. We have a Coast and Marine Program here on K I. you know. Workshops for boat owners. Training in identification of pests such as European Fan Worms and Sea Squirts, not to mention the Asian Date Mussel....
Arthur groans faintly.
Yes I am aware of the Asian Date Mussel, says Vello. Very commendable. I mean your program, not the Asian Date Mussel. Yes, pests are the subject du jour. Sweezus is returning to confront one.
Two, says Sweezus.
He parks his Ford Escape SUV beside Cabin Six.
Sweezus is on the verandah, checking for dings, chips and cracks in his surfboard.
Cousteau and Suzuki about? asks Mayor Clements. I promised them a lift back to Kingscote.
Yeah, go in, says Sweezus.
Mayor Clements goes in.
Vello and Ssü-K'ung Shu are drinking black coffee. Arthur is asleep on the hard off-white vinyl settee.
How was your stay? asks Mayor Clements. Did you do the Nocturnal?
Yes, we did, says Vello. Very nice. Caught an echidna for supper.
Mayor Clements looks alarmed.
Joking, says Vello. There was no food in the cabin. Luckily we had some dried eels. No doubt you can smell them. We boiled them with lemon myrtle, which Su-Zu-Ki got into trouble for picking. No permit. Also wild bush tomatoes and bush peas which he obtained clandestinely. And an onion, from our neighbour Irene. The boys stayed out too long surfing and Arthur was bitten by a shark and Sweezus had a highly disturbing premonition.
Irene! says Mayor Clements. Is she here?
He rushes out of Cabin Six and across to Cabin Five next door.
That was not the response I was expecting, says Vello.
He's coming back, says Ssü-K'ung Shu.
Wrong Irene, says Mayor Clements, upon re-entering. Now what were you saying? Never mind. Are you both ready to go?
May I ask a favour? says Vello.
Certainly, says Mayor Clements.
......
Soon the Ford Escape SUV is on the road back to Kingscote, with Vello, Shu, Sweezus and Arthur inside. Bikes in the back, surfboards on the top rack. No problems.
Sweezus is deep in thought, Arthur is dozing.
So, says Mayor Clements, have you gentlemen given any thought to your talks at the town hall on Friday?
I thought I might talk about the poetry of the Middle Tang period, says Shu.
As related to what? asks Mayor Clements.
Loss and displacement, says Shu. The transience of modes of existence.
That will be interesting, says Mayor Clements. What about you, Jacques?
Ah, says Vello. Something about the....errm.....rapidly disappearing ocean.
Disappearing? says Mayor Clements. I didn't realise. Where is it going?
As we know it, says Vello. Full of plastic, coffee cups, and pests.
Oh yes, pests, says Mayor Clements. We have a Coast and Marine Program here on K I. you know. Workshops for boat owners. Training in identification of pests such as European Fan Worms and Sea Squirts, not to mention the Asian Date Mussel....
Arthur groans faintly.
Yes I am aware of the Asian Date Mussel, says Vello. Very commendable. I mean your program, not the Asian Date Mussel. Yes, pests are the subject du jour. Sweezus is returning to confront one.
Two, says Sweezus.
Friday, February 12, 2016
So Like A Flute It's Not Funny
The eel stew tastes okay, except for the eels, which are rubbery.
Well done Shu, says Vello. Very tasty.
It was the onion, says Shu.
And a certain metallic piquancy, says Vello.
Arthur thinks so as well.
What does Sweezus think?
He is chewing methodically. He looks like his head's in the clouds.
What's up? says Arthur.
I think I've got a sixth sense, says Sweezus.
Spit it out, says Vello.
Sweezus stops chewing.
Yeah but.... what's it telling me? says Sweezus.
If you have to ask that, you haven't got a sixth sense, observes Ssü-K'ung Shu.
No, I've got SOMETHING, says Sweezus. It's an image.
From beyond, says Arthur. What's the message?
Krishna as a baby, with a flute and a peacock crown, says Sweezus.
Obviously, says Vello, something has happened to Terence. You should call Gaius.
You reckon? says Sweezus. How'd you figure that?
Baby, says Vello. You saw a baby. Terence is a baby. Not a real baby. And neither is Krishna.
The logic is convincing. The flute and the peacock crown may be redundant.
Okay, says Sweezus. I'm doing it.
He calls Gaius.
Gaius: Hello?
Sweezus: Gaius! Has anything happened to Terence?
Gaius: Not that I know of.
Sweezus: Where is he?
Gaius: Practising scales on Louisa's trumpet. Perhaps you can hear him?
( Parp-pee-PARP. Wark wark!)
Sweezus: Yeah I can. What's that other sound?
Gaius: His feral peacock. Of course Terence calls it a parrot. It's doomed unfortunately.
Sweezus: Doomed? Does Terence know? Hey wait, did you say a peacock?
Gaius: Yes, a peacock. Terence will know soon enough. No need to upset him this evening. How is the surfing? How's Arthur?
Sweezus: Killer waves, and Arthur got a shark bite.
Gaius: A shark bite! Great Neptune's fishballs! Is he all right?
Sweezus: Yeah, he's okay. We're eating eel stew now and chillin'....
Gaius: Ah. Eel Stew. The very best thing. Shall we be seeing you tomorrow?
Sweezus: Yeah, yeah, you will.
The call ends.
Well? says Vello.
Heavy, says Sweezus. Freakin' big-time mega heavy. I feel like .....woah....that was heaps weird.
I heard you mention a peacock? says Vello.
Peacock, yeah, and a trumpet, says Sweezus. Man, that's so like a flute it's not funny.
Well done Shu, says Vello. Very tasty.
It was the onion, says Shu.
And a certain metallic piquancy, says Vello.
Arthur thinks so as well.
What does Sweezus think?
He is chewing methodically. He looks like his head's in the clouds.
What's up? says Arthur.
I think I've got a sixth sense, says Sweezus.
Spit it out, says Vello.
Sweezus stops chewing.
Yeah but.... what's it telling me? says Sweezus.
If you have to ask that, you haven't got a sixth sense, observes Ssü-K'ung Shu.
No, I've got SOMETHING, says Sweezus. It's an image.
From beyond, says Arthur. What's the message?
Krishna as a baby, with a flute and a peacock crown, says Sweezus.
Obviously, says Vello, something has happened to Terence. You should call Gaius.
You reckon? says Sweezus. How'd you figure that?
Baby, says Vello. You saw a baby. Terence is a baby. Not a real baby. And neither is Krishna.
The logic is convincing. The flute and the peacock crown may be redundant.
Okay, says Sweezus. I'm doing it.
He calls Gaius.
Gaius: Hello?
Sweezus: Gaius! Has anything happened to Terence?
Gaius: Not that I know of.
Sweezus: Where is he?
Gaius: Practising scales on Louisa's trumpet. Perhaps you can hear him?
( Parp-pee-PARP. Wark wark!)
Sweezus: Yeah I can. What's that other sound?
Gaius: His feral peacock. Of course Terence calls it a parrot. It's doomed unfortunately.
Sweezus: Doomed? Does Terence know? Hey wait, did you say a peacock?
Gaius: Yes, a peacock. Terence will know soon enough. No need to upset him this evening. How is the surfing? How's Arthur?
Sweezus: Killer waves, and Arthur got a shark bite.
Gaius: A shark bite! Great Neptune's fishballs! Is he all right?
Sweezus: Yeah, he's okay. We're eating eel stew now and chillin'....
Gaius: Ah. Eel Stew. The very best thing. Shall we be seeing you tomorrow?
Sweezus: Yeah, yeah, you will.
The call ends.
Well? says Vello.
Heavy, says Sweezus. Freakin' big-time mega heavy. I feel like .....woah....that was heaps weird.
I heard you mention a peacock? says Vello.
Peacock, yeah, and a trumpet, says Sweezus. Man, that's so like a flute it's not funny.
Thursday, February 11, 2016
Sixth Sense Detectives
The eel stew smells better, with the onion in it.
Shu throws in the wild bush tomatoes and yellow bush peas.
They float cheerfully on a layer of oil amongst the coiled eel lumps.
Arthur is squeezing blood from his wound, into a teaspoon.
Sweezus is googling great white sharks on his smartphone.
Vello is setting the table with bowls of Chilli Popcorn, Kettle Chips, and Barbecue Shapes, and taking the beer out of the bar fridge.
Irene is leaving.
Well, I'll be leaving, says Irene.
No one tries to stop her. She leaves.
Should have thanked her for the onion, says Vello.
Yeah, says Sweezus. Hey! Did you guys know great whites have blue eyes?
No, says Vello. But that may come in useful.
And get this, says Sweezus. They've got a sixth sense. They can detect ......stuff. And they have to keep moving so they can breathe. And they don't make noise, they use body language. And they don't fight over food, they have a tail slapping contest. Best slapper wins. Fricken' awesome!
I've got a sixth sense, says Shu.
Evidence? says Vello, opening a can of Crown Lager.
There's a Chinese government spy on my trail, says Shu. I sense it.
Me too, says Arthur.
Shu looks offended.
I sometimes feel I have a sixth sense, says Vello. For example, you would like a Crown Lager.
Thanks, says Shu, opening the can and extracting a wild bush tomato from the bubbling eel stew with the ring pull. He squashes the wild bush tomato with his finger. Seeds spill out.
Yes, says Vello. I also sensed that the eel stew was ready.
You can see it is, says Shu.
I sensed it earlier, says Vello.
When it wasn't, in fact ready, says Shu.
It was, says Vello. The eel strips had curled up fleshy-side out and become yellow and rigid.
That is quite normal, says Shu.
We shall see, says Vello.
Can I stir it? asks Arthur.
Of course, says Shu. Mind your fingers.
He watches as Arthur stirs the stew with a teaspoon.
The stew changes colour.
Sweezus is drinking his second Crown Lager. His ego is piqued. Sixth sense....have I got one? Should have. How'd I know?
Clear my mind. See if anything happens.
Ommmmm-nothing-nothing-nothing.....
(That's how you do it)
Into his mind floats a picture of Krishna as a baby, fingering a golden flute, and wearing a peacock feather crown....
Shu throws in the wild bush tomatoes and yellow bush peas.
They float cheerfully on a layer of oil amongst the coiled eel lumps.
Arthur is squeezing blood from his wound, into a teaspoon.
Sweezus is googling great white sharks on his smartphone.
Vello is setting the table with bowls of Chilli Popcorn, Kettle Chips, and Barbecue Shapes, and taking the beer out of the bar fridge.
Irene is leaving.
Well, I'll be leaving, says Irene.
No one tries to stop her. She leaves.
Should have thanked her for the onion, says Vello.
Yeah, says Sweezus. Hey! Did you guys know great whites have blue eyes?
No, says Vello. But that may come in useful.
And get this, says Sweezus. They've got a sixth sense. They can detect ......stuff. And they have to keep moving so they can breathe. And they don't make noise, they use body language. And they don't fight over food, they have a tail slapping contest. Best slapper wins. Fricken' awesome!
I've got a sixth sense, says Shu.
Evidence? says Vello, opening a can of Crown Lager.
There's a Chinese government spy on my trail, says Shu. I sense it.
Me too, says Arthur.
Shu looks offended.
I sometimes feel I have a sixth sense, says Vello. For example, you would like a Crown Lager.
Thanks, says Shu, opening the can and extracting a wild bush tomato from the bubbling eel stew with the ring pull. He squashes the wild bush tomato with his finger. Seeds spill out.
Yes, says Vello. I also sensed that the eel stew was ready.
You can see it is, says Shu.
I sensed it earlier, says Vello.
When it wasn't, in fact ready, says Shu.
It was, says Vello. The eel strips had curled up fleshy-side out and become yellow and rigid.
That is quite normal, says Shu.
We shall see, says Vello.
Can I stir it? asks Arthur.
Of course, says Shu. Mind your fingers.
He watches as Arthur stirs the stew with a teaspoon.
The stew changes colour.
Sweezus is drinking his second Crown Lager. His ego is piqued. Sixth sense....have I got one? Should have. How'd I know?
Clear my mind. See if anything happens.
Ommmmm-nothing-nothing-nothing.....
(That's how you do it)
Into his mind floats a picture of Krishna as a baby, fingering a golden flute, and wearing a peacock feather crown....
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Blood Is Thicker
The great white sharks are circling Arthur.
Partly because he is bleeding.
Partly because they can't stop, due to being obligate ram breathers, the result of non-functioning spiracles.
Guys..... begins Sweezus.
Then he notices: Woah! Their eyes look heaps funny.
Their eyes have rolled back. They are sleep swimming.
Arthur doesn't know the sharks are sleep swimming. He tries to kick one away.
The kicked one wakes up.
Gblgblwok! Who did that? Is it a seal? Or a person? One way to find out is: TEST BITING!
The shark opens its jaws and closes them round Arthur's leg.
A complication arises.
It spots Sweezus.
Another one!
The second great white shark wakes up.
Great white sharks can sense animal generated electromagnetic fields as little as half a billionth of a volt from some way off.
And somewhere, someone has thrown eel ends into the water!
Meanwhile shark number one ( the kicked one) has come to a conclusion.
Arthur has too many bones.
Both great white sharks head off to the shallows where Ssü-K'ung Shu has discarded his eel scum.
The dark bay waters run deep and silent. Arthur feels his leg for teeth marks.
Thanks, bro, says Arthur. You saved me.
No worries, bro, says Sweezus.
.........
Half an hour later, outside Number Six cabin.
A knock on the door.
Yoohoo! It's Irene! How's that eel stew going? I've brought you an onion! Oh! Who's behind me?
Vello opens the door. And eely-oily lemony smell floats from the cabin.
Irene stumbles in, followed by Sweezus and Arthur.
Ah! says Irene, are these your young friends? I'll just leave the onion, and get going.
She's about to leave when she notices Arthur is bleeding. Oh dear!
Ssü-K'ung Shu hands Arthur a tea towel.
Shark bit me, says Arthur, showing Shu the teeth marks.
Did you see it? asks Irene.
There were two of them, says Arthur. Circling.
Is that normal? asks Irene, looking at Vello.
Why ask me? says Vello. Here give me that onion. Or is it too late for an onion? What do you think, Shu?
Too late for an onion? says Shu. Is there a time frame?
Are you sure you know how to cook? says Vello.
Sweezus sniffs the eel-oily atmosphere. Not delightful.
How hard can it be? I'll do the onion.
So, says Irene, do sharks usually swim about in pairs, Mr Cousteau?
Oh, oh, hmm, err, yes, sometimes, says Vello. As I have observed many times from the windows of my underwater dirigible......sometimes they roam about in packs, looking for anything at all that is dangling.....
Good heavens, says Irene.
Yes indeed, says Vello. No doubt Arthur was dangling.
Bleeding, says Irene. They're attracted by bleeding.
And bleeding, says Vello. Has it stopped yet? This stew could do with more colour.
Everyone looks shocked, except Arthur, who likes the suggestion.
Partly because he is bleeding.
Partly because they can't stop, due to being obligate ram breathers, the result of non-functioning spiracles.
Guys..... begins Sweezus.
Then he notices: Woah! Their eyes look heaps funny.
Their eyes have rolled back. They are sleep swimming.
Arthur doesn't know the sharks are sleep swimming. He tries to kick one away.
The kicked one wakes up.
Gblgblwok! Who did that? Is it a seal? Or a person? One way to find out is: TEST BITING!
The shark opens its jaws and closes them round Arthur's leg.
A complication arises.
It spots Sweezus.
Another one!
Great white sharks can sense animal generated electromagnetic fields as little as half a billionth of a volt from some way off.
And somewhere, someone has thrown eel ends into the water!
Meanwhile shark number one ( the kicked one) has come to a conclusion.
Arthur has too many bones.
Both great white sharks head off to the shallows where Ssü-K'ung Shu has discarded his eel scum.
The dark bay waters run deep and silent. Arthur feels his leg for teeth marks.
Thanks, bro, says Arthur. You saved me.
No worries, bro, says Sweezus.
.........
Half an hour later, outside Number Six cabin.
A knock on the door.
Yoohoo! It's Irene! How's that eel stew going? I've brought you an onion! Oh! Who's behind me?
Vello opens the door. And eely-oily lemony smell floats from the cabin.
Irene stumbles in, followed by Sweezus and Arthur.
Ah! says Irene, are these your young friends? I'll just leave the onion, and get going.
She's about to leave when she notices Arthur is bleeding. Oh dear!
Ssü-K'ung Shu hands Arthur a tea towel.
Shark bit me, says Arthur, showing Shu the teeth marks.
Did you see it? asks Irene.
There were two of them, says Arthur. Circling.
Is that normal? asks Irene, looking at Vello.
Why ask me? says Vello. Here give me that onion. Or is it too late for an onion? What do you think, Shu?
Too late for an onion? says Shu. Is there a time frame?
Are you sure you know how to cook? says Vello.
Sweezus sniffs the eel-oily atmosphere. Not delightful.
How hard can it be? I'll do the onion.
So, says Irene, do sharks usually swim about in pairs, Mr Cousteau?
Oh, oh, hmm, err, yes, sometimes, says Vello. As I have observed many times from the windows of my underwater dirigible......sometimes they roam about in packs, looking for anything at all that is dangling.....
Good heavens, says Irene.
Yes indeed, says Vello. No doubt Arthur was dangling.
Bleeding, says Irene. They're attracted by bleeding.
And bleeding, says Vello. Has it stopped yet? This stew could do with more colour.
Everyone looks shocked, except Arthur, who likes the suggestion.
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Killer Session
Sweezus and Arthur have paddled out to the dangerous reef at the end of the bay.
The swell is up.
Huge waves, moving water. Lower down, big rips and sharks.
They paddle out further.
........
It is dark now. The Nocturnal Tour is returning.
Look up everyone, says Ella. That's our Great Southern sky!
Ahh... say the tourists. You can see every star. How beautiful.
Take care driving back, says Ella, You don't want to hit any wildlife. They're active at night.
Ooh... says the tourists. Thank you, thank you, Ella. Good bye.
Irene comes over to say goodbye to the famous ecologists.
Are you in one of the cabins? asks Irene.
Yes, says Vello. We're going back there now to meet our friends and cook an eel stew.
Ssü-K'ung Shu is holding several sprigs of lemon myrtle.
Ella comes over. Did you pick that? Do you have a permit?
A permit? No, of course he doesn't have a permit.
You need a permit to gather bush tucker, says Ella. Just a friendly warning.
He is David Su-Zu-Ki, says Irene. Just so you know.
He still needs a permit, says Ella. He can download it from the government website.
Nonsense, says Vello. These sprigs fell out of a tree. A koala was chewing them.
That wouldn't happen, says Ella.
If Jacques Cousteau says it happened, it happened, says Irene.
Thank you, madam, says Vello.
"Permit to Collect Native Plant Material". Download it, says Ella.
She heads back to the Visitor Centre to turn the lights off.
What a stickler, says Vello. What a fuss over one or two twiglets.
Lucky she didn't see these, says Ssü-K'ung Shu, pulling a handful of wild bush tomatoes from one pocket, and a handful of yellow bush peas from the other.
......
Night time. The lights are on in the cabin, where Ssü-K'ung Shu and Vello are soaking dried eels.
From a distance, Sweezus and Arthur see the lights flickering on the water. It's late.
They would have come in earlier, but for the great killer session.
Easy six to eight foot waves breaking in on the exposed reef ledge. Wild and intimidating.
Arthur is bleeding of course.
They start paddling shorewards.
Do sharks sleep at night? asks Arthur.
Yeah, they do, says Sweezus. I reckon.
You don't sound too sure, says Arthur.
Me and sharks are like brothers, says Sweezus. Remember that time I saved Farky? Talked them out of eating his busted leg.
What did you say? asks Arthur.
Dunno, says Sweezus. Can't remember. But it worked.
There is a swishing sound behind them, underneath them and in front of them. An agitation of bubbles. Two shark fins appear next to Arthur.
Better start talking, says Arthur.
The swell is up.
Huge waves, moving water. Lower down, big rips and sharks.
They paddle out further.
........
It is dark now. The Nocturnal Tour is returning.
Look up everyone, says Ella. That's our Great Southern sky!
Ahh... say the tourists. You can see every star. How beautiful.
Take care driving back, says Ella, You don't want to hit any wildlife. They're active at night.
Ooh... says the tourists. Thank you, thank you, Ella. Good bye.
Irene comes over to say goodbye to the famous ecologists.
Are you in one of the cabins? asks Irene.
Yes, says Vello. We're going back there now to meet our friends and cook an eel stew.
Ssü-K'ung Shu is holding several sprigs of lemon myrtle.
Ella comes over. Did you pick that? Do you have a permit?
A permit? No, of course he doesn't have a permit.
You need a permit to gather bush tucker, says Ella. Just a friendly warning.
He is David Su-Zu-Ki, says Irene. Just so you know.
He still needs a permit, says Ella. He can download it from the government website.
Nonsense, says Vello. These sprigs fell out of a tree. A koala was chewing them.
That wouldn't happen, says Ella.
If Jacques Cousteau says it happened, it happened, says Irene.
Thank you, madam, says Vello.
"Permit to Collect Native Plant Material". Download it, says Ella.
She heads back to the Visitor Centre to turn the lights off.
What a stickler, says Vello. What a fuss over one or two twiglets.
Lucky she didn't see these, says Ssü-K'ung Shu, pulling a handful of wild bush tomatoes from one pocket, and a handful of yellow bush peas from the other.
......
Night time. The lights are on in the cabin, where Ssü-K'ung Shu and Vello are soaking dried eels.
From a distance, Sweezus and Arthur see the lights flickering on the water. It's late.
They would have come in earlier, but for the great killer session.
Easy six to eight foot waves breaking in on the exposed reef ledge. Wild and intimidating.
Arthur is bleeding of course.
They start paddling shorewards.
Do sharks sleep at night? asks Arthur.
Yeah, they do, says Sweezus. I reckon.
You don't sound too sure, says Arthur.
Me and sharks are like brothers, says Sweezus. Remember that time I saved Farky? Talked them out of eating his busted leg.
What did you say? asks Arthur.
Dunno, says Sweezus. Can't remember. But it worked.
There is a swishing sound behind them, underneath them and in front of them. An agitation of bubbles. Two shark fins appear next to Arthur.
Better start talking, says Arthur.
Monday, February 8, 2016
The Special No-Thinking Collar
Hello parrot, says Terence.
"I'm a PEA-cock". The peacock looks pained
I knew that, says Terence, but I need a new parrot. My last one got kidnapped.
Oh, who'd be a bird? sighs the peacock. You know I'm supposed to be feral?
Does feral mean scared? asks Terence.
The peacock points to its radio collar.
Have you escaped? asks Terence.
I don't think so, says the peacock.
Like me, says Terence. I escaped, and I don't think so.
What does that mean? asks the peacock.
See those people, looking into that hole, says Terence. They won't let me do anything. So I escaped to this grass over here. And I'm being sad here. And that's because something.
Because what? asks the peacock. (This strange infant is becoming intriguing).
Because, says Terence. Because when you go somewhere else, your thinking comes with you.
Mine doesn't, says the peacock. I'm Hindu. But I know what you mean. It's like this collar.
Your collar is like thinking? says Terence.
No, it comes with you, says the peacock.
Louisa comes over.
Peacock! shouts Louisa.
Warrrk-warrk! says the peacock.
But Dr Yu Liu, Dr Diego Garcia-Bellini and Gaius are deep in discussion about the importance of microtomography in examining the characteristics of soft tissue fossils in situ, and don't hear her.
Stop shouting! says Terence. You'll scare her.
Scare her! says Louisa. She's feral. We're supposed to kill her. She sits on people's roofs, makes a lot of noise, fouls the water, spreads weeds and carries poultry diseases.
Who doesn't? says the peacock.
She's Hindu, says Terence. And she has a special no-thinking collar. And she's MY NEW PARROT!
The peacock does not look overly grateful.
........
Meanwhile on the other side of the island, somewhat later.
It's time for the Nocturnal Tour.
Guests gather at the Visitor Centre at sunset.
Everyone ready? says Ella. Got camera, water, binoculars? Right, follow me to the Koala Walk.
How long does this go? asks Vello.
Ninety minutes, says a fellow nocturnal walker. And koalas are guaranteed, you'll be glad to know. The staff here are wonderful. They put signs on the trees to show which ones have koalas in them.
Do they really? says Vello.
Yes, This is my second time, says the walker. We saw echidnas the last time, and bats, and wallabies and possums. My name's Irene. Are you French?
Yes indeed, madam, says Vello. I am Jacques Cousteau. This is my fellow famous ecologist Su-Zu-Ki. He looks Chinese, but the fading light is deceptive. He is Japanese-Canadian.
Ssü-K'ung Shu tries to look more Japanese-Canadian.
My stars! says Irene. How marvellous. I must tell the others.
But the others don't care. A kangaroo has joined the party.
This is Amy, says Ella. She was rescued and released into the wild a few years ago.
Aww, say the others. A-meee! She's so tame! How amazing!
Ssü-K'ung Shu has no interest in kangaroos and koalas and what-not.
Not everyone has.
He begins searching the Koala Walk for herbs to add to the eel stew he has promised to make later with Arthur's dried eels and hot water.
It has just occurred to him that it might taste too bland.
"I'm a PEA-cock". The peacock looks pained
I knew that, says Terence, but I need a new parrot. My last one got kidnapped.
Oh, who'd be a bird? sighs the peacock. You know I'm supposed to be feral?
Does feral mean scared? asks Terence.
The peacock points to its radio collar.
Have you escaped? asks Terence.
I don't think so, says the peacock.
Like me, says Terence. I escaped, and I don't think so.
What does that mean? asks the peacock.
See those people, looking into that hole, says Terence. They won't let me do anything. So I escaped to this grass over here. And I'm being sad here. And that's because something.
Because what? asks the peacock. (This strange infant is becoming intriguing).
Because, says Terence. Because when you go somewhere else, your thinking comes with you.
Mine doesn't, says the peacock. I'm Hindu. But I know what you mean. It's like this collar.
Your collar is like thinking? says Terence.
No, it comes with you, says the peacock.
Louisa comes over.
Peacock! shouts Louisa.
Warrrk-warrk! says the peacock.
But Dr Yu Liu, Dr Diego Garcia-Bellini and Gaius are deep in discussion about the importance of microtomography in examining the characteristics of soft tissue fossils in situ, and don't hear her.
Stop shouting! says Terence. You'll scare her.
Scare her! says Louisa. She's feral. We're supposed to kill her. She sits on people's roofs, makes a lot of noise, fouls the water, spreads weeds and carries poultry diseases.
Who doesn't? says the peacock.
She's Hindu, says Terence. And she has a special no-thinking collar. And she's MY NEW PARROT!
The peacock does not look overly grateful.
........
Meanwhile on the other side of the island, somewhat later.
It's time for the Nocturnal Tour.
Guests gather at the Visitor Centre at sunset.
Everyone ready? says Ella. Got camera, water, binoculars? Right, follow me to the Koala Walk.
How long does this go? asks Vello.
Ninety minutes, says a fellow nocturnal walker. And koalas are guaranteed, you'll be glad to know. The staff here are wonderful. They put signs on the trees to show which ones have koalas in them.
Do they really? says Vello.
Yes, This is my second time, says the walker. We saw echidnas the last time, and bats, and wallabies and possums. My name's Irene. Are you French?
Yes indeed, madam, says Vello. I am Jacques Cousteau. This is my fellow famous ecologist Su-Zu-Ki. He looks Chinese, but the fading light is deceptive. He is Japanese-Canadian.
Ssü-K'ung Shu tries to look more Japanese-Canadian.
My stars! says Irene. How marvellous. I must tell the others.
But the others don't care. A kangaroo has joined the party.
This is Amy, says Ella. She was rescued and released into the wild a few years ago.
Aww, say the others. A-meee! She's so tame! How amazing!
Ssü-K'ung Shu has no interest in kangaroos and koalas and what-not.
Not everyone has.
He begins searching the Koala Walk for herbs to add to the eel stew he has promised to make later with Arthur's dried eels and hot water.
It has just occurred to him that it might taste too bland.
Sunday, February 7, 2016
Misinterpretations Of Nature
We need to find that cafe, says Vello. There's no food in our cabin.
You got a cabin? says Sweezus.
Mayor Clements arranged it, says Vello. For the famous ecologists
Coolissimo! says Sweezus.
Arthur was right.
We've got snacks and beer, says Sweezus, opening his back pack.
Then you must join us for supper, says Vello. Come up after the nocturnal tour that Shu and I are going on.
Must we? asks Ssü-K'ung Shu.
It's included, says Vello. What snacks have you got boys?
Sweezus rifles through several packets.
Barbecue Shapes, Kettle Chips, Corn Chips, Chilli Popcorn and.... whatever these are.
Dried eels, says Arthur.
Why'd you get these? asks Sweezus.
Because I thought they wouldn't go off, says Arthur.
Everyone peers at the clear packet of pinkish grey Sea Fortune dried eels.
Wonderful, says Shu. I shall make us eel broth for supper. All I need is hot water. Secondly, an eel is very useful for diverting a snake, and thirdly eels are generally lucky.
And make good bait, if all else fails, says Vello. Well done, Arthur.
Arthur had not anticipated such serendipity, when he made the eel acquisition.
........
Meanwhile on the northern side of the island, the two paleontologists, and Gaius, Louisa and Terence have reached the fossil dig site.
Dr Yu Liu and Dr Diego Garcia-Bellido are bending over a hole.
Yes, says Dr Diego Garcia-Bellido. Consistent with anomalocaradids being closely related to arthropods.
As had been expected, says Dr Yu Liu.
As I understand it, says Gaius, coming up behind them, some scientists believe animal life didn't take off until the Cambrian explosion, but you have different views?
Look here, says Dr Diego Garcia-Bellido, pointing at an unearthed Redlichiidan trilobite.
Gaius looks. Yes, he would very much like to draw that. Where is his cake tin of half-pencils?
Louisa? says Gaius. Did Arthur give you a tin before he hived off to go surfing?
No, says Louisa. But if you need a pencil I have one, and a new notebook.
How lucky, says Gaius. May I borrow them?
Sure, says Louisa, but it's not lucky. It's because school's started.
And SHE didn't go, says Terence. She'll get in trouble.
No one takes any notice of Terence.
He wanders off into the grass, and lies down a few metres away. He searches the sky, for a parrot.
Dr Diego Garcia-Bellido is comparing dragonflies' eyes to those of a trilobite.
Dr Yu Liu is saying something about grasshopper brains, and patterns of gliogenesis.
Louisa is giving Gaius a pencil.
Gaius thinks she's the bee's knees.
How is THAT fair?
There is a rustling in the grass above Terence, and a vibration underneath him.
Yikes! A Cambrian explosion?
Terence rolls over on his tummy and looks behind him.
Fierce black eyes, a sharp beak, blue crowned head, blue neck and long green and blue iridescent feathers. A radio collar.
Hurrah! IT'S A PARROT!
You got a cabin? says Sweezus.
Mayor Clements arranged it, says Vello. For the famous ecologists
Coolissimo! says Sweezus.
Arthur was right.
We've got snacks and beer, says Sweezus, opening his back pack.
Then you must join us for supper, says Vello. Come up after the nocturnal tour that Shu and I are going on.
Must we? asks Ssü-K'ung Shu.
It's included, says Vello. What snacks have you got boys?
Sweezus rifles through several packets.
Barbecue Shapes, Kettle Chips, Corn Chips, Chilli Popcorn and.... whatever these are.
Dried eels, says Arthur.
Why'd you get these? asks Sweezus.
Because I thought they wouldn't go off, says Arthur.
Everyone peers at the clear packet of pinkish grey Sea Fortune dried eels.
Wonderful, says Shu. I shall make us eel broth for supper. All I need is hot water. Secondly, an eel is very useful for diverting a snake, and thirdly eels are generally lucky.
And make good bait, if all else fails, says Vello. Well done, Arthur.
Arthur had not anticipated such serendipity, when he made the eel acquisition.
........
Meanwhile on the northern side of the island, the two paleontologists, and Gaius, Louisa and Terence have reached the fossil dig site.
Dr Yu Liu and Dr Diego Garcia-Bellido are bending over a hole.
Yes, says Dr Diego Garcia-Bellido. Consistent with anomalocaradids being closely related to arthropods.
As had been expected, says Dr Yu Liu.
As I understand it, says Gaius, coming up behind them, some scientists believe animal life didn't take off until the Cambrian explosion, but you have different views?
Look here, says Dr Diego Garcia-Bellido, pointing at an unearthed Redlichiidan trilobite.
Gaius looks. Yes, he would very much like to draw that. Where is his cake tin of half-pencils?
Louisa? says Gaius. Did Arthur give you a tin before he hived off to go surfing?
No, says Louisa. But if you need a pencil I have one, and a new notebook.
How lucky, says Gaius. May I borrow them?
Sure, says Louisa, but it's not lucky. It's because school's started.
And SHE didn't go, says Terence. She'll get in trouble.
No one takes any notice of Terence.
He wanders off into the grass, and lies down a few metres away. He searches the sky, for a parrot.
Dr Diego Garcia-Bellido is comparing dragonflies' eyes to those of a trilobite.
Dr Yu Liu is saying something about grasshopper brains, and patterns of gliogenesis.
Louisa is giving Gaius a pencil.
Gaius thinks she's the bee's knees.
How is THAT fair?
There is a rustling in the grass above Terence, and a vibration underneath him.
Yikes! A Cambrian explosion?
Terence rolls over on his tummy and looks behind him.
Fierce black eyes, a sharp beak, blue crowned head, blue neck and long green and blue iridescent feathers. A radio collar.
Hurrah! IT'S A PARROT!
Saturday, February 6, 2016
The Ecologist And The Onion
Mayor Clements has brought Vello and Shu to a Hanson Bay holiday cabin, without any food.
It's self catering, says Mayor Clements. Sorry about that. But there's a Cafe and Visitor Centre. And now I must love you and leave you. Council business. I'll send someone tomorrow to give you a lift back to Kingston. Well, as we say on Kangaroo Island, enjoy!
He drives off rather quickly.
Enjoy! says Vello. Remind me not to. Now, I wonder if Sweezus and Arthur are here yet.
Let's walk down to the bay, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. It looks beautiful in the soft afternoon light. The pristine waters, the sparkling beaches.....we can wait for them there.
Yes it does look quite nice, says Vello. If I were Jacques Cousteau I might dip my toes in.
And if I were Su-zu-ki, what would I do? says Ssü-K'ung Shu.
Invent something, says Vello.
I thought he was an ecologist? says Ssü-K'ung Shu.
I meant invent something to do, says Vello. Come on Shu! I thought you were a words man.
A Middle Tang poet, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. I evoke moods and images.
The two imposters walk down to the bay, and sit down on the sand.
I am a words man, says Vello. I used to write plays. But the language is changing. Why only the other day I learned that the French Academy has done away with the circumflex.
Is that important? asks Ssü-K'ung Shu, gazing out over the deceptive waters.
Is the evidence that an S has been omitted from a word at some point in time important? asks Vello.
Ssü-K'ung Shu is too polite to say no, it doesn't seem that important.
And furthermore, says Vello, flattening an area of sand with his fingers, they have decided, in their wisdom, to change the spelling of onion! Outrageous!
Onion? says Ssü-K'ung Shu. He feels out of his depth here. Thank goodness for Chinese characters.
The French onion, says Vello. We are no longer to spell it as 'oignon'.
How are we to spell it? asks Ssü-k'ung Shu.
Ognon! spits Vello, stabbing the letters spitefully into the flat rectangle of sand.
Og-non, says Ssü-k'ung Shu. That sounds ugly.
And looks ugly, says Vello.
Ssü-K'ung Shu sighs.
He stares at the ocean. He spots a reef just outside the protected bay. Huge waves, breaking on it.
That will be where .....
Suddenly the sounds of the ocean are replaced by the sounds of bicycle wheels, footsteps and artificial dialogue.
So you are a German?
Yes, your reverence.
What part of Germany do you come from?
From the dirty province of Westphalia. I was born at Castle Thunder-ten-Tronckh.
Good gracious me! You don't say so?
How extraordinary!
Can this really be you?
This is beyond the bounds of possibility!
And then we....
Sadly they don't get to (embrace each other and burst into tears).
There you are, you excellent boys! roars Vello. Spot on! My humble apologies. You have your lines down word perfect.
Arthur! cries Shu. He jumps up, embraces Arthur and bursts into...... (no!). But he swallows a great deal of spittle.
Fuck, says Sweezus. I mean..... woah! What are you guys doing here?
Just passing, says Vello. You'll never believe this, but the good people of Penneshaw have got it into their heads that I'm Jacques Cousteau.
Massive! says Sweezus. What did they play when you arrived?
'Under the Sea', says Vello.
From the Little Mermaid, says Sweezus. I know that one. Calypso-style music. Yeah, and that was the name of Jacques Cousteau's boat. Someone was clever.
Arthur, Vello, and Suü-K'ung Shu have to agree that someone on Kangaroo Island was clever.
It's self catering, says Mayor Clements. Sorry about that. But there's a Cafe and Visitor Centre. And now I must love you and leave you. Council business. I'll send someone tomorrow to give you a lift back to Kingston. Well, as we say on Kangaroo Island, enjoy!
He drives off rather quickly.
Enjoy! says Vello. Remind me not to. Now, I wonder if Sweezus and Arthur are here yet.
Let's walk down to the bay, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. It looks beautiful in the soft afternoon light. The pristine waters, the sparkling beaches.....we can wait for them there.
Yes it does look quite nice, says Vello. If I were Jacques Cousteau I might dip my toes in.
And if I were Su-zu-ki, what would I do? says Ssü-K'ung Shu.
Invent something, says Vello.
I thought he was an ecologist? says Ssü-K'ung Shu.
I meant invent something to do, says Vello. Come on Shu! I thought you were a words man.
A Middle Tang poet, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. I evoke moods and images.
The two imposters walk down to the bay, and sit down on the sand.
I am a words man, says Vello. I used to write plays. But the language is changing. Why only the other day I learned that the French Academy has done away with the circumflex.
Is that important? asks Ssü-K'ung Shu, gazing out over the deceptive waters.
Is the evidence that an S has been omitted from a word at some point in time important? asks Vello.
Ssü-K'ung Shu is too polite to say no, it doesn't seem that important.
And furthermore, says Vello, flattening an area of sand with his fingers, they have decided, in their wisdom, to change the spelling of onion! Outrageous!
Onion? says Ssü-K'ung Shu. He feels out of his depth here. Thank goodness for Chinese characters.
The French onion, says Vello. We are no longer to spell it as 'oignon'.
How are we to spell it? asks Ssü-k'ung Shu.
Ognon! spits Vello, stabbing the letters spitefully into the flat rectangle of sand.
Og-non, says Ssü-k'ung Shu. That sounds ugly.
And looks ugly, says Vello.
Ssü-K'ung Shu sighs.
He stares at the ocean. He spots a reef just outside the protected bay. Huge waves, breaking on it.
That will be where .....
Suddenly the sounds of the ocean are replaced by the sounds of bicycle wheels, footsteps and artificial dialogue.
So you are a German?
Yes, your reverence.
What part of Germany do you come from?
From the dirty province of Westphalia. I was born at Castle Thunder-ten-Tronckh.
Good gracious me! You don't say so?
How extraordinary!
Can this really be you?
This is beyond the bounds of possibility!
And then we....
Sadly they don't get to (embrace each other and burst into tears).
There you are, you excellent boys! roars Vello. Spot on! My humble apologies. You have your lines down word perfect.
Arthur! cries Shu. He jumps up, embraces Arthur and bursts into...... (no!). But he swallows a great deal of spittle.
Fuck, says Sweezus. I mean..... woah! What are you guys doing here?
Just passing, says Vello. You'll never believe this, but the good people of Penneshaw have got it into their heads that I'm Jacques Cousteau.
Massive! says Sweezus. What did they play when you arrived?
'Under the Sea', says Vello.
From the Little Mermaid, says Sweezus. I know that one. Calypso-style music. Yeah, and that was the name of Jacques Cousteau's boat. Someone was clever.
Arthur, Vello, and Suü-K'ung Shu have to agree that someone on Kangaroo Island was clever.
Friday, February 5, 2016
Cool Spy
This is it, says Louisa. The Emu Bay shale.
FINALLY, says Terence. Can I have a milkshake?
Have an Up and Go, says Louisa.
She hands Terence a carton.
Is it a red one? asks Terence.
It's strawberry, says Louisa. A pink one.
Terence screws up his little cement nose. Only a pink one!
Where's Shu? asks Gaius, scanning the rocky landscape.
He'll be here in a minute, says Louisa. Let's sit down and wait.
They sit down on the uncomfortable rocky structures, drinking Up and Gos.
A man is picking his way over the rocks, from a westerly direction.
Hello there! shouts the man, waving. Yu Liu?
Gaius Plinius Secundus, says Gaius.
Of course, says Dr Diego Garcia-Bellido. I should have recognised you. I am Dr Diego Garcia-Bellido, but you must call me Diego. Are you here to observe us?
Us? says Gaius. I can only see one of you.
I'm expecting Dr.Yu Liu, any minute, says Diego. Ah, here he comes now!
The Chinese government agent rides up on his Flying Pigeon.
This is Dr Yu Liu, says Diego. This is Gaius Plinius Secundus, come to observe us.
Pleased to meet you, says Dr Yu Liu.
Wow, says Louisa. I've heard of you, Dr Yu Liu. I read your paper.
Which paper? asks Dr Yu Liu.
"When a 520 million year old Chengjiang biota meets a modern micro-CT", says Louisa.
Ah, says Gaius, as the penny drops. The Chengjiang biota!
Ah-ha, says Terence. That's even older than me! But not older than grandpa.
Dr Diego Garcia-Bellido glances down at Terence, who now sports a little pink moustache.
An infant! Why bring an infant to a fossil dig site? And its mouth needs wiping.
Dr Diego Garcia-Bellido is about to take a dust brush out of his tool bag.
But Louisa produces a wipe.
Yuck! protests Terence.
Shall we get on? says Dr Yu Liu. I am keen to see the seven isolated compound eye fossils, and the well-preserved visual surfaces of the eyes of Anomalocaris.
The inland quarry site is this way, says Diego, pointing inland. Who's coming?
We ought to wait for Shu, says Gaius. My right hand man. He seems to be lagging.
That will be the person I passed on the way, says Dr Yu Liu. Shortly after which, he turned back towards Penneshaw.
From which observations we know:
1. Dr Yu Liu is observant
2. If he is a government spy, he is a cool one.
FINALLY, says Terence. Can I have a milkshake?
Have an Up and Go, says Louisa.
She hands Terence a carton.
Is it a red one? asks Terence.
It's strawberry, says Louisa. A pink one.
Terence screws up his little cement nose. Only a pink one!
Where's Shu? asks Gaius, scanning the rocky landscape.
He'll be here in a minute, says Louisa. Let's sit down and wait.
They sit down on the uncomfortable rocky structures, drinking Up and Gos.
Hello there! shouts the man, waving. Yu Liu?
Gaius Plinius Secundus, says Gaius.
Of course, says Dr Diego Garcia-Bellido. I should have recognised you. I am Dr Diego Garcia-Bellido, but you must call me Diego. Are you here to observe us?
Us? says Gaius. I can only see one of you.
I'm expecting Dr.Yu Liu, any minute, says Diego. Ah, here he comes now!
The Chinese government agent rides up on his Flying Pigeon.
This is Dr Yu Liu, says Diego. This is Gaius Plinius Secundus, come to observe us.
Pleased to meet you, says Dr Yu Liu.
Wow, says Louisa. I've heard of you, Dr Yu Liu. I read your paper.
Which paper? asks Dr Yu Liu.
"When a 520 million year old Chengjiang biota meets a modern micro-CT", says Louisa.
Ah, says Gaius, as the penny drops. The Chengjiang biota!
Ah-ha, says Terence. That's even older than me! But not older than grandpa.
Dr Diego Garcia-Bellido glances down at Terence, who now sports a little pink moustache.
An infant! Why bring an infant to a fossil dig site? And its mouth needs wiping.
Dr Diego Garcia-Bellido is about to take a dust brush out of his tool bag.
But Louisa produces a wipe.
Yuck! protests Terence.
Shall we get on? says Dr Yu Liu. I am keen to see the seven isolated compound eye fossils, and the well-preserved visual surfaces of the eyes of Anomalocaris.
The inland quarry site is this way, says Diego, pointing inland. Who's coming?
We ought to wait for Shu, says Gaius. My right hand man. He seems to be lagging.
That will be the person I passed on the way, says Dr Yu Liu. Shortly after which, he turned back towards Penneshaw.
From which observations we know:
1. Dr Yu Liu is observant
2. If he is a government spy, he is a cool one.
Thursday, February 4, 2016
Rips, Reef And Quite Sharky
Hop in, gentlemen, says Mayor Clements, opening the door of a Ford Escape SUV.
Very kind of you, Mayor Clements, says Vello.
Anything for the cause of Kangaroo Island ecology, says Mayor Clements.
Yes, yes, says Vello. Of course these days I don't do much fieldwork. This will be a treat.
Do you wish to hire any underwater equipment, before we set off, Jacques? asks Mayor Clements.
Not I, says Vello. Do you, Suzuki?
No, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. I prefer to stay out of the water.
Yes, it can be quite chilly, says Mayor Clements.
The Ford Escape rolls out of Penneshaw, Mayor Clements driving.
......
They drive through Birchmore, and turn left on to Hanson Bay Road.
I'll take you to the Wildlife Sanctuary, says Mayor Clements. You might like to stay overnight. Very nice cabins, overlooking the bay. Nocturnal tour included. Of course you won't have to pay. Council will fix it.
Very kind, says Vello. And what's the surf like?
Not suited to beginners, says Mayor Clements. Rips, a reef and quite sharky.
Good heavens! says Vello.
Ssü-K'ung Shu imagines a shark eating Arthur. He shivers.
Those two will be heading there, says Mayor Clements, pointing at two cyclists with backpacks and surfboards.
Brave lads, says Vello.
The Ford Escape SUV passes the cyclists.
........
Did you see that? says Arthur.
See what? says Sweezus.
In that Ford. Vello and Shu. With Mayor Clements, says Arthur.
Bugger, says Sweezus. Are you sure? Where do you reckon they're going?
Hanson Bay, says Arthur. Since this is the Hanson Bay Road.
Shit, says Sweezus. Maybe it wasn't them, though.
No, it was them, says Arthur.
I haven't even brought ...... you don't have a copy? asks Sweezus.
Of what? says Arthur.
Candide, says Sweezus. I'm supposed to be learning my lines. The boss'll kill me.
He won't, says Arthur. We'll just make something up.
But he WROTE it, says Sweezus. How does it go again? We did it last year.....
Calm down, says Arthur. I remember some of the good bits.
Yeah, says Sweezus. What good bits? It was just one shit thing after another.
There were recognition scenes, says Arthur. Like when you recognise Cunegonde's brother.
Oh yeah, says Sweezus. And we cry and hug, and drink wine and eat an excellent dinner. Arthur, you're a legend!
Arthur is happy. Sweezus thinks he's a legend.
When they get to the beach they can practise the scene.
And he can play Cunegonde's brother.
Very kind of you, Mayor Clements, says Vello.
Anything for the cause of Kangaroo Island ecology, says Mayor Clements.
Yes, yes, says Vello. Of course these days I don't do much fieldwork. This will be a treat.
Do you wish to hire any underwater equipment, before we set off, Jacques? asks Mayor Clements.
Not I, says Vello. Do you, Suzuki?
No, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. I prefer to stay out of the water.
Yes, it can be quite chilly, says Mayor Clements.
The Ford Escape rolls out of Penneshaw, Mayor Clements driving.
......
They drive through Birchmore, and turn left on to Hanson Bay Road.
I'll take you to the Wildlife Sanctuary, says Mayor Clements. You might like to stay overnight. Very nice cabins, overlooking the bay. Nocturnal tour included. Of course you won't have to pay. Council will fix it.
Very kind, says Vello. And what's the surf like?
Not suited to beginners, says Mayor Clements. Rips, a reef and quite sharky.
Good heavens! says Vello.
Ssü-K'ung Shu imagines a shark eating Arthur. He shivers.
Those two will be heading there, says Mayor Clements, pointing at two cyclists with backpacks and surfboards.
Brave lads, says Vello.
The Ford Escape SUV passes the cyclists.
........
Did you see that? says Arthur.
See what? says Sweezus.
In that Ford. Vello and Shu. With Mayor Clements, says Arthur.
Bugger, says Sweezus. Are you sure? Where do you reckon they're going?
Hanson Bay, says Arthur. Since this is the Hanson Bay Road.
Shit, says Sweezus. Maybe it wasn't them, though.
No, it was them, says Arthur.
I haven't even brought ...... you don't have a copy? asks Sweezus.
Of what? says Arthur.
Candide, says Sweezus. I'm supposed to be learning my lines. The boss'll kill me.
He won't, says Arthur. We'll just make something up.
But he WROTE it, says Sweezus. How does it go again? We did it last year.....
Calm down, says Arthur. I remember some of the good bits.
Yeah, says Sweezus. What good bits? It was just one shit thing after another.
There were recognition scenes, says Arthur. Like when you recognise Cunegonde's brother.
Oh yeah, says Sweezus. And we cry and hug, and drink wine and eat an excellent dinner. Arthur, you're a legend!
Arthur is happy. Sweezus thinks he's a legend.
When they get to the beach they can practise the scene.
And he can play Cunegonde's brother.
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
Under The Sea With No Trumpet
Excuse me! says the mysterious rider.
Ssü-K'ung Shu slows down.
Has his past caught up with him?
Is this the way to Emu Bay? asks the rider.
Is it a ruse? thinks Ssü-K'ung Shu. Is he a government agent?
You must ask my colleague, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. He's the one up ahead there. I'm his assistant.
It's been hard enough for me to catch up to you, says the stranger. These Flying Pigeon bikes are extremely heavy.
I know, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. Forty four kilos. Did you ship it over from China?
I did, says the rider.
Are you on holiday? asks Ssü-K'ung Shu.
No, says the rider. Working. Always working. Ah! A signpost!
The signpost reads: KINGSCOTE 5K. EMU BAY 22K.
Ssü-K'ung Shu hopes that now the government agent will drop back or speed up.
He speeds up.
Ssü-K'ung Shu stops, pretends to adjust his handlebars, then turns and cycles back towards Penneshaw.
No way is he going to be extradited to China.
......
Terence is standing up in Louisa's bicycle basket, trying to balance.
He can see over Louisa's shoulder.
Shu's stopped! says Terence. Shu's turned around! Shu's going!
Louisa risks a quick look.
No he isn't, says Louisa. He's just a long way behind us.
Everything all right? asks Gaius, drawing level with Louisa.
No, says Terence. I can see....
Sit down, Terence, says Gaius. You'll cause an accident.
Terence sits down heavily. Louisa's bike wobbles.
See? says Terence. That's what happens when no one believes me.
........
When Ssü-K'ung Shu arrives back in Penneshaw he is surprised to see Vello.
Shu! says Vello. Am I glad to see you! This place is a hotbed of insanity!
My thoughts exactly, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. But what makes you think so?
You won't believe it! says Vello. The Sealink ferry docks. I walk down the gang plank. The local school band is playing that Calypso tune from The Little Mermaid, called "Under the Sea".
Who was on trumpet? asks Ssü-K'ung Shu.
No trumpet, says Vello. Why are you asking? The point is, the Mayor greeted me as.....you won't believe this! Jacques Cousteau!
They got my name wrong too, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. Have you told them?
Of course not! says Vello. I rejoice in the role of Jacques Cousteau! I'm making a speech in the Kingscote Town Hall on Friday. I'll give them fireworks! Now, where is everyone?
Gaius and Terence are on their way to the Emu Bay Shale, says Ssü-K'ung Shu.
And where is Sweezus? asks Vello.
Surfing with Arthur at Hanson Bay. It's extremely dangerous.
Then that's where I'm going, says Vello. I'll give him dangerous. I bet he's not learning his lines.
I'll come with you, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. I need to lie low for a while. This is lucky.
Very lucky.
Mayor Clements emerges from a cafe and sees the two famous ecologists, talking.
Good afternoon! calls the mayor. Making plans? Tell you what, I have nothing to do this afternoon. Can I offer you a lift anywhere?
Hanson Bay would be perfect, says Vello.
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Failing To Smell His Divinity
Gaius, Shu and Louisa ride their bikes along Hog Bay Road towards Kingscote.
Louisa is leading.
Can I have lesson three now? asks Terence, who is bored with the scenery.
(trees and grass, trees and grass, road, trees, grass, sky)
Okay, says Louisa. Pick up the trumpet and inhale fully.
What's fully? says Terence.
As much as you can, says Louisa. NO! you silly. AIR, not the trumpet.
You're a bad teacher, says Terence. And I hate lesson three.
Lets just talk, says Louisa. Where's your mother?
In Barcelona, sitting over a doorway, says Terence. Where's yours?
At home, says Louisa. Extracting lavender oil. It's her business.
Yuck, says Terence. That's disgusting.
It's lovely, says Louisa. We sell it to tourists. It smells divine.
Like me, says Terence.
Louisa sniffs, but the air moves too fast for her to smell (or fail to smell) Terence's divinity.
Have you got any pets? asks Louisa.
Yes, says Terence. I have a parrot.
Where is it? asks Louisa.
Kidnapped, says Terence.
Holy moly! says Louisa. Who by?
Dries, says Terence. He's a drama counsellor.
TRAUMA counsellor, says Gaius, who has been following, and is also bored by the trees.
Why would he kidnap a parrot? asks Louisa.
It's not a parrot, it's a baby bristlebird, says Gaius.
I SAID that, says Terence.
So......he's endangered, says Louisa.
YES! says Terence. Dries wants to FORCE him to learn Twenty Names, and he can only say eighteen.
He refuses to say the other two, says Gaius. It's a battle of wills.
Wow, says Louisa. You guys live interesting lives. It's pretty boring on Kangaroo Island. We make honey, and grow lavender, and ...yeah well, I suppose we have pests.
Such as feral pigs, I suppose? ventures Gaius.
Oh way more than just feral pigs, says Louisa. Feral cats, feral deer, feral ferrets, feral goats, feral peacocks......
Peacocks! says Terence, peering into a passing stand of boring bushes. But he doesn't see one single feather.
Ssu-K'ung Shu is pedalling some way behind the others, not joining in.
He is amusing himself by recalling a Middle Tang poem by his friend Liu Zongyuan.
Dwelling By A Stream.
I had so long been troubled by an official hat and robe
That I am glad to be an exile here in this wild south land....
At this point, a heavy breathing sound makes him turn round.
The Flying Pigeon draws level. The rider throws back his dark hood........
Louisa is leading.
Can I have lesson three now? asks Terence, who is bored with the scenery.
(trees and grass, trees and grass, road, trees, grass, sky)
Okay, says Louisa. Pick up the trumpet and inhale fully.
What's fully? says Terence.
As much as you can, says Louisa. NO! you silly. AIR, not the trumpet.
You're a bad teacher, says Terence. And I hate lesson three.
Lets just talk, says Louisa. Where's your mother?
In Barcelona, sitting over a doorway, says Terence. Where's yours?
At home, says Louisa. Extracting lavender oil. It's her business.
Yuck, says Terence. That's disgusting.
It's lovely, says Louisa. We sell it to tourists. It smells divine.
Like me, says Terence.
Louisa sniffs, but the air moves too fast for her to smell (or fail to smell) Terence's divinity.
Have you got any pets? asks Louisa.
Yes, says Terence. I have a parrot.
Where is it? asks Louisa.
Kidnapped, says Terence.
Holy moly! says Louisa. Who by?
Dries, says Terence. He's a drama counsellor.
TRAUMA counsellor, says Gaius, who has been following, and is also bored by the trees.
Why would he kidnap a parrot? asks Louisa.
It's not a parrot, it's a baby bristlebird, says Gaius.
I SAID that, says Terence.
So......he's endangered, says Louisa.
YES! says Terence. Dries wants to FORCE him to learn Twenty Names, and he can only say eighteen.
He refuses to say the other two, says Gaius. It's a battle of wills.
Wow, says Louisa. You guys live interesting lives. It's pretty boring on Kangaroo Island. We make honey, and grow lavender, and ...yeah well, I suppose we have pests.
Such as feral pigs, I suppose? ventures Gaius.
Oh way more than just feral pigs, says Louisa. Feral cats, feral deer, feral ferrets, feral goats, feral peacocks......
Peacocks! says Terence, peering into a passing stand of boring bushes. But he doesn't see one single feather.
Ssu-K'ung Shu is pedalling some way behind the others, not joining in.
He is amusing himself by recalling a Middle Tang poem by his friend Liu Zongyuan.
Dwelling By A Stream.
I had so long been troubled by an official hat and robe
That I am glad to be an exile here in this wild south land....
At this point, a heavy breathing sound makes him turn round.
The Flying Pigeon draws level. The rider throws back his dark hood........
Monday, February 1, 2016
It Was Me I Must Be Ready
Now, says Gaius. In which direction do we find Emu Bay?
Ssü-K'ung Shu realises that Gaius is looking at him expectantly.
I have no idea, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. Should we perhaps ask an emu?
You're funny, says Louisa. It's that way.
She points to the west.
Come on, Shu, says Gaius.
No, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. Not without a map, water and snacks.
I have water and snacks, says Gaius. I doubt we'll need a map.
I'll come with you, says Louisa. I know the way.
Then I don't need to go, says Ssü-K'ung Shu.
You will learn a great deal, says Gaius. You will be helping science. You will add to the debate.
These things do not concern me, says Ssü-K'ung Shu.
You could write a nice poem about it, says Louisa.
Me too, says Terence. I already have. It's about an EMU.
Emu emu hey!
buzz and blow and play
the golden trumpet
emu emu hey!
Who likes it?
I like it, says Sweezus. But it's not much about an emu.
It's so cute, though, says Louisa. Tell you what, Terence:
On the way
To Emu Bay
I will teach you
How to play
Emu emu hey!
How inventive! says Gaius. Our journey will be made more pleasant with the addition of trumpet lessons and occasional snatches of poetry.
Ssü-K'ung Shu can't believe Gaius really thinks that.
He wonders what Arthur thinks. Arthur, a true poet, like himself.
Arthur is scratching at a knee scab, with the Swiss Army knife.
Come on Arthur, says Sweezus. We'd better get going. Which way to Hanson Bay?
That way, says Louisa. It's on the other side of the island at the western end. It'll take you hours and hours.
Cool, says Sweezus. See you in a couple of days, guys.
He and Arthur ride off with their surfboards and their backpacks full of beer and snacks.
I'll just go home and get my bike, says Louisa. Wait here. Terence, hold my trumpet.
Terence has one more go at blowing. Pzzzzzzz!
Hey-fantastico! A buzzing sound comes out!
Was that you? asks Louisa, when she comes back on her bicycle.
Yes, says Terence proudly:
It was me
I must be ready
For lesson three.
Ssü-K'ung Shu groans. This trip is going to be very tedious.
Gaius, Ssü-K'ung Shu, Louisa and Terence (who is in Louisa's basket, with the trumpet ) pedal out of Penneshaw in the direction of Emu Bay.
Followed by a mysterious hooded figure on a heavy bicycle, which looks like.....could it be?....... a retro Chinese Flying Pigeon?
Ssü-K'ung Shu realises that Gaius is looking at him expectantly.
I have no idea, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. Should we perhaps ask an emu?
You're funny, says Louisa. It's that way.
She points to the west.
Come on, Shu, says Gaius.
No, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. Not without a map, water and snacks.
I have water and snacks, says Gaius. I doubt we'll need a map.
I'll come with you, says Louisa. I know the way.
Then I don't need to go, says Ssü-K'ung Shu.
You will learn a great deal, says Gaius. You will be helping science. You will add to the debate.
These things do not concern me, says Ssü-K'ung Shu.
You could write a nice poem about it, says Louisa.
Me too, says Terence. I already have. It's about an EMU.
Emu emu hey!
buzz and blow and play
the golden trumpet
emu emu hey!
Who likes it?
I like it, says Sweezus. But it's not much about an emu.
It's so cute, though, says Louisa. Tell you what, Terence:
On the way
To Emu Bay
I will teach you
How to play
Emu emu hey!
How inventive! says Gaius. Our journey will be made more pleasant with the addition of trumpet lessons and occasional snatches of poetry.
Ssü-K'ung Shu can't believe Gaius really thinks that.
He wonders what Arthur thinks. Arthur, a true poet, like himself.
Arthur is scratching at a knee scab, with the Swiss Army knife.
Come on Arthur, says Sweezus. We'd better get going. Which way to Hanson Bay?
That way, says Louisa. It's on the other side of the island at the western end. It'll take you hours and hours.
Cool, says Sweezus. See you in a couple of days, guys.
He and Arthur ride off with their surfboards and their backpacks full of beer and snacks.
I'll just go home and get my bike, says Louisa. Wait here. Terence, hold my trumpet.
Terence has one more go at blowing. Pzzzzzzz!
Hey-fantastico! A buzzing sound comes out!
Was that you? asks Louisa, when she comes back on her bicycle.
Yes, says Terence proudly:
It was me
I must be ready
For lesson three.
Ssü-K'ung Shu groans. This trip is going to be very tedious.
Gaius, Ssü-K'ung Shu, Louisa and Terence (who is in Louisa's basket, with the trumpet ) pedal out of Penneshaw in the direction of Emu Bay.
Followed by a mysterious hooded figure on a heavy bicycle, which looks like.....could it be?....... a retro Chinese Flying Pigeon?
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