Any Other Disappearing Things

I'm expecting Dr Yu Liu any minute, says Gaius. And there's a dead peacock on the floor.

Everyone looks at the headless peacock.

Could someone get rid of it, please? asks Gaius.

Okay, says Arthur. I'll do it.

He gathers up the lifeless body with its drooping fan of tail feathers, and heads for the door.

Don't forget the head, says Gaius.

I'll bring it, says Terence, grabbing the peacock's head from the table. He follows Arthur out.

There is a knock on the door of the cabin. It's Dr Yu Liu.

Good morning, Gaius, says Dr Yu Liu. Are you ready to return to Emu Bay?

Not quite, says Gaius. My right hand man has just stepped out for a moment. How about a cup of tea?

Sweezus gets the cups out.

Ssü-K'ung Shu switches on the kettle.

Vello wipes the bird blood off the table.

Thank you, says Dr Yu Liu. You seem to have no shortage of assistants.

They are not my assistants, says Gaius. They are my colleagues. This is Ve....Jacques Cousteau. This is Shu.... David Suzuki. And this is Sweezus. He has on occasion been my assistant. He accidentally captured an endangered bristlebird on my last expedition, but unfortunately was less successful with the rare funnel web spider. He......

Okay okay, says Sweezus. Sugar?

No thanks, says Dr Yu Liu. He stares at Ssü-K'ung Shu, who does not look at all like David Suzuki.

I believe we met earlier, says Dr Yu Liu. On the road to Emu Bay. You turned back immediately afterwards.

I thought you may have been a Chinese government spy, says Ssü-K'ung Shu.

No way, says Dr Yu Liu. The Chinese government is not so foolish as to send a spy who rides a Flying Pigeon.

That makes sense, says Ssü-K'ung Shu.

You don't look much like David Suzuki, observes Dr Yu Liu.

To be honest, says Ssü-K'ung Shu, I am a Middle Tang poet.

Ah, says Dr Yu Liu. I love the Middle Tang!

I wonder why my inlaid harp has fifty strings
Each flower-like fret an interval of youth
Mermen weep their pearly tears down a moon grey sea....
And a moment that ought to have lasted forever
Has come and gone before I knew.

Excellent, says Vello, I might use that in my lecture.

What is the subject of your your lecture? asks Dr Yu Liu.

Hmm, the disappearing sea, says Vello, and any other disappearing things I can come up with.

Did you know they're planning to build a golf course here on KI? asks Dr Yu Liu.

How nice, says Vello. No wait! Outrageous!

Exactly, says Dr Yu Liu. Imagine how much water that will use.

I shall have a few sharp words to say to Mayor Clements, says Vello.

Arthur comes back in, with Terence.

Terence has a little bag suspended from a cord around his neck.

The bag is made of red plastic netting, so anyone can see what's in it.

Correction: Anyone might think that they can see what's in it.