Sporting Red Feathers

Here's your hammer, says Wittgenstein.

Thank you, says Margaret. Where's Terence?

Talking to a seagull, says Wittgenstein. He thinks it's his grandpa.

How sweet, says Katherine. Perhaps he'll forget about this silly potato.

She picks up the red parrot potato and throws it into a patch of sand fescue.

He'll see it there, says Margaret.

The red parrot potato hopes so. It has become fond of Terence, and was looking forward to sporting red feathers.....

Here comes Terence now.

The red parrot potato peers through the fescue. Terence does not appear to have acquired any red feathers.

Look up, red parrot potato!

Grandpa Marx alights on the towel, spitting out red feathers.

Get off ! cries Margaret.

NO! cries Terence. Look what we've got!

Red feathers, says Katherine. That's nice.

It would be nicer if you hadn't thrown away his potato, says Wittgenstein.

Where is it? shouts Terence.

Over there in the fescue, says Grandpa Marx. I spotted it immediately.

He hops over and pierces the wrinkled skin of the potato with his beak. He hops back to the towel.

That was awkward, says Grandpa Marx. How about we remove these peduncles, now we have all these red feathers.

No, says Terence. Peduncles AND feathers. It's red parrot pea parrot potato.

Wittgenstein lets out a cry of pure anguish.

Aieee! A red parrot pea parrot potato!

Just stick the feathers in, and be silent!

Okay. Terence begins sticking.

Katherine's phone rings.

Hello? Oh, David. Yes it's lovely. Very relaxing. I've been to-ing and fro-ing between Gaius and Margaret. Oh ha ha, no, don't be naughty. Yes Terence is with me. I don't know. Why on earth? Can't you put it on without him? What? What? Drat! David! You've dropped out.

What did he say about me and Gaius? asks Margaret.

Nothing, says Katherine.

What did he say about me? asks Terence.

The Fringe has started. He and Vello need you to act in their play, says Katherine. Remember, you were in it last year? You played the Bright Red Object.

YES! says Terence. I had a costume.

Would you like to be in it again? asks Katherine.

Maybe, says Terence. But only if they change it.

They always change it, says Katherine. What would you like to be different?

Not to be swimming, says Terence.

What's this Bright Red Object? asks Margaret.

Oh... a large sheep, says Katherine. One of Candide's.

Why is it red? asks Wittgenstein.

You'll have to ask Vello, says Katherine.

And why is it swimming?

For goodness sake, says Katherine. It's a PLAY!

I didn't like the swimming, says Terence. That's why I won't be in it unless there's no swimming.

Grandpa Marx has been thinking about how to resolve this to everyone's satisfaction.

What if Terence spoke the words and the potato played the swimming Bright Red Object? says  Grandpa Marx.

Terence finishes sticking feathers into the potato.

What does everyone think?

They think the potato looks like an actor.