God Has Abandoned Me

Katherine parks her car outside the Velosophy office.

Let me out, quick, says Terence.

She opens the back door. Terence jumps out with his red parrot potato and runs up the stairs.

Vello and David are deep in discussion.

David: I still feel the play is too heavy.

Vello: Heavy! It's light hearted humour.

Terence bursts in.

Terence: Guess what!

Vello: You've got a new parrot.

David: It doesn't look like a parrot.

Terence: It's a potato! It's going to be the Bright Red Object and I'm doing the voices. I have to train it.

Katherine and Wittgenstein enter.

David: Hello, mother! You got here quickly.

Katherine: I see you've met Terence's potato. What do you think of it?

Vello: Fine, fine. Let's see what it can do.

Terence: Baa! Saaave-meee!

David: Very nice. But the potato didn't do anything.

Wittgenstein: It has learned how to swim.

Vello: Has it? Let's see it swimming. Belle! Bring us a bowl of cold water!

Belle comes in.

Belle: Katherine! Ludwig! Terence!  How lovely to see you. Can I get you a coffee? And red cordial for Terence? Some fruit buns?

Vello: First, a bowl of cold water.

Belle: Whatever for?

David: The potato. An audition.

Belle: Okay.

She goes out and returns with a bowl of cold water.

Terence drops the red parrot potato in.

The potato tries to remember everything Grandpa Marx taught him.

But there are no waves in the bowl and nor is it salty. He sinks to the bottom.

I have nothing to hope for! thinks the potato. I am forced to the conclusion that god has abandoned me to some mischievous power. If I could speak, I should ask to have done to me what is normally done to potatoes. As it is, I'll just lie here.

He just lies there.

Belle goes out and comes back with coffee, red cordial and buns.