The female peacock spiders bunch together.
Ar-Lu-Lun stands his ground.
He has adopted that name now.
The female spiders don't know one another too well.
They find themselves in an unnatural predicament.
One says, not very loudly: Fer-hoo?
Another agrees that fer-hoo is an option.
The rest prefer waiting.
Ar-Lu-Lun is aware that the humans are watching.
He turns to Baby Pierre, who thought he was Felix, but now knows he is not.
What is the best way to proceed? asks Ar-Lu-Lun.
The way I see it, says Baby Pierre, you could brave it out and start dancing. See what happens. They might fall in love.
Prrt! says Ar-Lu-Lun. They never fall in love. They just put up with us sometimes.
The female spiders are listening.
They nod sagely.
This is so true.
Or, says Baby Pierre, you could make a run for it.
I must intervene here, says Gaius. Please don't make a run for it. We simply wish to observe your behaviour.
It cannot be natural behaviour, says Ar-Lu-Lun. Put yourself in my position.
Gaius tries.
He imagines himself, a lone man on a vast yellow plain. Suddenly a box is lowered in his vicinity, and several Margarets fall out. They look at him shrewdly. So this is where you've been lurking! says one of the Margarets.
Gaius emerges from his reverie.
Apologies, says Gaius. This has been a mistake. I suggest you get back in the date ball packet and return with Markus and Raoul to their campsite, which is not far away.
He doesn't want to, says Baby Pierre.
Ar-Lu Lun has said nothing, but Baby Pierre knows Ar-Lu-Lun doesn't want to.
I'll take him there on my bike, says Baby Pierre.
Fine, says Gaius. We'll stay here and observe the females. However, it may be wise to separate them. Is that possible?
Not enough containers, says Elodie. Lavender and I only had this tin because I washed it.
Yes, says Lavender. We only had this tin.
It's quite a large tin, says Gaius. All we need are dividers. I'm sure Arthur could obtain them, but where is he now?
I'll look for him, says Shu.
He goes over to the spot where the HiLux was parked, when he last saw it.
It's gone.
Friday, May 31, 2019
Thursday, May 30, 2019
All Spiders, Not Just Cats
We'll show it to Gaius, says Markus. Get his opinion.
Soon they arrive at the poncho.
Gaius is just standing up, having thought that he ought to.
He has been sitting too long on the poncho, writing notes.
He is looking around for Arthur, who is nowhere in sight, when Raoul appears, brandishing the half open date ball packet.
Look! says Raoul. We think it might be a new species! I found it.
Well done! says Gaius. Set it down.
Markus and Shu arrive seconds later.
Raoul tips out the tiny hairy sad spider, whose name is not, and may never be, Maratus raoul.
He already has a name, which he never divulges.
All spiders do.
Not just cats.
He doesn't like the look of the poncho, which is what he sees first.
It is one of those plastic yellow ones.
Moreover there is, lying on it, legs up, a dead cousin (the maratus cristatus).
But Gaius looks kindly.
He looks at the markings on the abdomen of the tiny hairy sad spider.
Hum, says Gaius. Most unusual markings. Like hieroglyphs, or perhaps, Chinese characters.
Let me see, says Shu. Why yes, so they could be.
What do they say? asks Raoul.
This is ridiculous, thinks the tiny hairy sad spider. As if I would have writing plastered all over my back. They'll come up with a word in a minute. And then they'll call me by that name. But I already have a name. It's a secret and will remain so.
He is thinking these thoughts.
Baby Pierre rides up on his newly spoked bicycle.
Woo! says Baby Pierre. I thought you were Felix for a minute.
Felix! The tiny hairy sad spider experiences a bad moment.
But no. This rider thought he was Felix for a minute. That doesn't mean now.
The minute is over.
Now who? asks the tiny hairy sad spider.
Don't know, says Baby Pierre. Who are you?
I might be.... Ar-Lu-Lun, says the spider.
Gaius has partly overheard this, although it was private.
Lu-Lun? asks Gaius.
Quite possibly, says Shu.
Raoul looks disappointed.
Just at this moment Elodie and Lavender return with a box full of females.
It's the rolled wafer tin, formerly smelling of eggs and vanilla, more lately of salmon, but washed with the ordinary water that Arthur and Sprocket obtained.
The female spiders can still sense these things though.
They are glad when Elodie opens the box and tips them onto the poncho.
Less glad when they see the dead cousin, and the live Ar-Lu-Lun.
Soon they arrive at the poncho.
Gaius is just standing up, having thought that he ought to.
He has been sitting too long on the poncho, writing notes.
He is looking around for Arthur, who is nowhere in sight, when Raoul appears, brandishing the half open date ball packet.
Look! says Raoul. We think it might be a new species! I found it.
Well done! says Gaius. Set it down.
Markus and Shu arrive seconds later.
Raoul tips out the tiny hairy sad spider, whose name is not, and may never be, Maratus raoul.
He already has a name, which he never divulges.
All spiders do.
Not just cats.
He doesn't like the look of the poncho, which is what he sees first.
It is one of those plastic yellow ones.
Moreover there is, lying on it, legs up, a dead cousin (the maratus cristatus).
But Gaius looks kindly.
He looks at the markings on the abdomen of the tiny hairy sad spider.
Hum, says Gaius. Most unusual markings. Like hieroglyphs, or perhaps, Chinese characters.
Let me see, says Shu. Why yes, so they could be.
What do they say? asks Raoul.
This is ridiculous, thinks the tiny hairy sad spider. As if I would have writing plastered all over my back. They'll come up with a word in a minute. And then they'll call me by that name. But I already have a name. It's a secret and will remain so.
He is thinking these thoughts.
Baby Pierre rides up on his newly spoked bicycle.
Woo! says Baby Pierre. I thought you were Felix for a minute.
Felix! The tiny hairy sad spider experiences a bad moment.
But no. This rider thought he was Felix for a minute. That doesn't mean now.
The minute is over.
Now who? asks the tiny hairy sad spider.
Don't know, says Baby Pierre. Who are you?
I might be.... Ar-Lu-Lun, says the spider.
Gaius has partly overheard this, although it was private.
Lu-Lun? asks Gaius.
Quite possibly, says Shu.
Raoul looks disappointed.
Just at this moment Elodie and Lavender return with a box full of females.
It's the rolled wafer tin, formerly smelling of eggs and vanilla, more lately of salmon, but washed with the ordinary water that Arthur and Sprocket obtained.
The female spiders can still sense these things though.
They are glad when Elodie opens the box and tips them onto the poncho.
Less glad when they see the dead cousin, and the live Ar-Lu-Lun.
Wednesday, May 29, 2019
Ar-Lu-Lun
Shu stands up, and walks over to Raoul and Markus.
Markus is excited.
He thrusts a magnifying glass at Shu.
Look here! Raoul found it!
Shu bends to take a good look.
The spider is tiny and hairy and sad.
We think it may be a new species, says Markus. But it's early days yet.
I found it, says Raoul. If it's new, I get to name it. Maratus raoul!
You MAY get to name it, says Markus. Some names don't take on. Maratus rainbowii for example.
The tiny hairy sad spider looks disgusted.
It has a name. It does not need a new one.
What now? asks Shu.
Did you bring a container? asks Markus.
Yes, says Shu. He offers Markus the date ball packet.
Markus scoops up the tiny hairy sad spider with a handful of sand, and drops him into the packet.
Don't close it, says Markus. That's probably what did for your maratus cristatus.
The tiny hairy sad spider understands enough of this warning to feel even sadder.
Raoul carries the date ball packet, open slightly to let his new spider breathe, should it need to.
They head back to the campsite.
Expedition's not so bad now? says Markus.
It's awesome, says Raoul. I'll change that part of my poem.
How's your poem going, Shu? asks Markus.
Shu looks modest.
Finished.
Let's hear it, says Markus.
Shu recites his Farewell to a Lifelong Friend.
That's classy says Markus. I like the cold birds and tall grasses. And the sense of betrayal.
Thank you, says Shu.
Lucky for Raoul you didn't find the new spider, says Markus. What would you have called it? What's your friend's name?
The tiny hairy sad spider listens through the gap in the packet.
What name has he fortuitously avoided?
Ar... begins Shu. But he thinks better of it.
Lu Lun says Shu.
Ar-Lu-Lun, thinks the tiny hairy sad spider. That's pretty. I wouldn't have minded.
Markus is excited.
He thrusts a magnifying glass at Shu.
Look here! Raoul found it!
Shu bends to take a good look.
The spider is tiny and hairy and sad.
We think it may be a new species, says Markus. But it's early days yet.
I found it, says Raoul. If it's new, I get to name it. Maratus raoul!
You MAY get to name it, says Markus. Some names don't take on. Maratus rainbowii for example.
The tiny hairy sad spider looks disgusted.
It has a name. It does not need a new one.
What now? asks Shu.
Did you bring a container? asks Markus.
Yes, says Shu. He offers Markus the date ball packet.
Markus scoops up the tiny hairy sad spider with a handful of sand, and drops him into the packet.
Don't close it, says Markus. That's probably what did for your maratus cristatus.
The tiny hairy sad spider understands enough of this warning to feel even sadder.
Raoul carries the date ball packet, open slightly to let his new spider breathe, should it need to.
They head back to the campsite.
Expedition's not so bad now? says Markus.
It's awesome, says Raoul. I'll change that part of my poem.
How's your poem going, Shu? asks Markus.
Shu looks modest.
Finished.
Let's hear it, says Markus.
Shu recites his Farewell to a Lifelong Friend.
That's classy says Markus. I like the cold birds and tall grasses. And the sense of betrayal.
Thank you, says Shu.
Lucky for Raoul you didn't find the new spider, says Markus. What would you have called it? What's your friend's name?
The tiny hairy sad spider listens through the gap in the packet.
What name has he fortuitously avoided?
Ar... begins Shu. But he thinks better of it.
Lu Lun says Shu.
Ar-Lu-Lun, thinks the tiny hairy sad spider. That's pretty. I wouldn't have minded.
Tuesday, May 28, 2019
I'll Give It Your Name
They have now reached the sand dunes.
Too late, says Raoul.
Too late for what? asks Markus. We just got here.
Too late for Shu's poem, says Raoul. I KNEW he'd get out of it.
I don't intend to get out of it, says Shu.
I suggest we split up, says Markus, but remain within earshot.
I'll go that way, says Shu.
He has seen a promising clump of something.
You work here, Raoul, says Markus, and I'll work a few metres that way.
They split up and start looking for spiders.
Markus looks properly. He lifts things and is ready for what runs out from under.
Raoul watches his dad for a moment.
Then he watches Shu.
Shu is sitting in a slight hollow next to the clump, not moving anything.
Bet he's doing a poem.
Bet it has a dumb rhyme scheme.
Whatever that is.
I wish I was home.
A spider runs by him (Raoul).
Ye-hah! says Raoul. It has whiskers. It has a pattern on its abdomen.
He hasn't seen one quite like it before.
He catches it easily, and takes it across to his dad.
Look what I found.
They examine it together.
Shu is oblivious to the discovery. He is doing a poem.
It must be a good one, not like theirs.
Modern of course, a seven liner.
With themes of the sorrow of parting, and the onset of time.
Some natural objects.
And, he concedes, a hunt for a spider.
A Farewell to My Lifelong Friend.
No matter which way I turn
There are cold birds and tall grasses
The sun gleams on the water
Causing fish to stiffen like stars
You've forgotten me, and my fighting sticks
I waste my time hunting spiders
If I find one, I'll give it your name.
Too late, says Raoul.
Too late for what? asks Markus. We just got here.
Too late for Shu's poem, says Raoul. I KNEW he'd get out of it.
I don't intend to get out of it, says Shu.
I suggest we split up, says Markus, but remain within earshot.
I'll go that way, says Shu.
He has seen a promising clump of something.
You work here, Raoul, says Markus, and I'll work a few metres that way.
They split up and start looking for spiders.
Markus looks properly. He lifts things and is ready for what runs out from under.
Raoul watches his dad for a moment.
Then he watches Shu.
Shu is sitting in a slight hollow next to the clump, not moving anything.
Bet he's doing a poem.
Bet it has a dumb rhyme scheme.
Whatever that is.
I wish I was home.
A spider runs by him (Raoul).
Ye-hah! says Raoul. It has whiskers. It has a pattern on its abdomen.
He hasn't seen one quite like it before.
He catches it easily, and takes it across to his dad.
Look what I found.
They examine it together.
Shu is oblivious to the discovery. He is doing a poem.
It must be a good one, not like theirs.
Modern of course, a seven liner.
With themes of the sorrow of parting, and the onset of time.
Some natural objects.
And, he concedes, a hunt for a spider.
A Farewell to My Lifelong Friend.
No matter which way I turn
There are cold birds and tall grasses
The sun gleams on the water
Causing fish to stiffen like stars
You've forgotten me, and my fighting sticks
I waste my time hunting spiders
If I find one, I'll give it your name.
Monday, May 27, 2019
To Be Desired
Where is the one which is not? asks Shu.
Somewhere in China, says Markus. I thought you'd know that.
I'm no expert, says Shu. Just an ordinary spider-seeker.
Of course, Gaius is the expert, says Markus. He lent you his notes.
He did, says Shu. But not all of them. Page one is missing.
How did that happen? asks Markus.
Arthur used it to soak up my blood after our ....errm.... stick fight.
Stick fight? says Raoul.
Stick fight, says Shu.
How's your spider hunt poem going, Raoul? says Markus.
Am I doing one? asks Raoul.
Yes, says Markus. It's an activity. We're all doing one. Shu can go next if he's ready.
I'm not used to extemporising, says Shu.
Nor is dad, says Raoul. But he did a good one.
Thanks Raoul, says Markus. So who's next?
They trudge past reeds, sticking up out of reed holes.
In the reed holes live tiny spiders, of various species.
If only they knew.
Me, says Raoul. I've got mine.
This is a poem about me and my dad
And an old Chinese poet
This morning I thought our expedition was bad
And now I know it
The spider we're looking for lives in China.
Well! says Markus. I had no idea you thought our expedition was bad.
Tch! says Shu. Old Chinese poet!
And also, says Markus, we're not looking for the one that lives in China. We're looking for a new one.
Your rhyme scheme leaves something to be desired, says Shu.
At least I get ONE compliment, says Raoul.
That wasn't a compliment, but Shu lets it ride.
Somewhere in China, says Markus. I thought you'd know that.
I'm no expert, says Shu. Just an ordinary spider-seeker.
Of course, Gaius is the expert, says Markus. He lent you his notes.
He did, says Shu. But not all of them. Page one is missing.
How did that happen? asks Markus.
Arthur used it to soak up my blood after our ....errm.... stick fight.
Stick fight? says Raoul.
Stick fight, says Shu.
How's your spider hunt poem going, Raoul? says Markus.
Am I doing one? asks Raoul.
Yes, says Markus. It's an activity. We're all doing one. Shu can go next if he's ready.
I'm not used to extemporising, says Shu.
Nor is dad, says Raoul. But he did a good one.
Thanks Raoul, says Markus. So who's next?
They trudge past reeds, sticking up out of reed holes.
In the reed holes live tiny spiders, of various species.
If only they knew.
Me, says Raoul. I've got mine.
This is a poem about me and my dad
And an old Chinese poet
This morning I thought our expedition was bad
And now I know it
The spider we're looking for lives in China.
Well! says Markus. I had no idea you thought our expedition was bad.
Tch! says Shu. Old Chinese poet!
And also, says Markus, we're not looking for the one that lives in China. We're looking for a new one.
Your rhyme scheme leaves something to be desired, says Shu.
At least I get ONE compliment, says Raoul.
That wasn't a compliment, but Shu lets it ride.
Sunday, May 26, 2019
Except For One Which Is Not
I hope you don't mind, Shu, says Gaius. I've volunteered your services.
Fine, says Shu.
Great, says Markus. Bring a container. We'll try the sand dunes.
Shu doesn't have a container.
Take this packet, says Gaius. It's not being used at the moment.
He offers the packet, which is still wet inside.
And my notes, if you think they'll be useful, adds Gaius. I'm writing some new ones.
Shu takes the notes.
He shoves them into his pocket where the blood and smoked salmon stained knife is, along with two sharpened sticks.
Now he is ready.
Ready? says Markus. Let's go.
They head off in the direction of the sand dunes, Markus leading.
Shu and Raoul walk behind.
How old are you? asks Raoul.
How old do I look? asks Shu.
Heaps old, says Raoul. Are you a professor?
Sadly no, says Shu. I am not a professor. I am a poet.
Yuck, says Raoul. We do that at school.
You don't DO poetry, says Shu. You feel it.
We do it, says Raoul. But it's not my best subject.
His best subject is science, says Markus.
Yeah, says Raoul.
They trudge on through the landscape.
Along the edge of Lake Jasper, towards the sand dunes.
Shu imagines the conversation going differently.
He imagines Raoul saying: Are you the same age as my dad?
And he, replying: Probably. I have a few white hairs, though.
And Raoul: I can't see any.
And he cheering up.
It occurs to him that he could cheer up anyway.
Here he is on an expedition with two new people, a father and son.
The sun glints on Lake Jasper. Shafts of light strike the white water. A minnow flickers. Or is it a freshwater cobbler?
He feels the handle of the knife in his pocket.
What's that in your pocket? asks Raoul.
You don't want to introduce a knife to a boy in front of (or behind) his father. Shu knows that.
So he takes out the two sharpened sticks.
What are they for? asks Raoul.
Fighting, says Shu.
Can we fight? asks Raoul.
I don't think so, says Shu. You need training.
You could train me, says Raoul.
What's this? asks Markus.
Shu's going to train me to fight with sharp sticks, says Raoul.
Markus thinks: That's not going to happen.
Perhaps he could help you to make up a poem instead, says Markus.
Yeah right, dad, says Raoul.
I could, says Shu, but a poet must have a true love of words.
We have a true love of words, don't we, son, says Markus.
He is determined to deflect his son's attention from sticks.
I'll start us off, says Markus. This will be a poem about a hunt for a spider. Give me a minute.
Trudge, trudge.
What will Markus come up with? Shu wonders
Got it! says Markus.
No bigger than a rice grain
Hard to spot.
Seventy four species
So far we have got.
All in South Western Australia
Except for one, which is not.
To Shu this sounds like a long winded riddle, but Raoul is proud of his dad.
Fine, says Shu.
Great, says Markus. Bring a container. We'll try the sand dunes.
Shu doesn't have a container.
Take this packet, says Gaius. It's not being used at the moment.
He offers the packet, which is still wet inside.
And my notes, if you think they'll be useful, adds Gaius. I'm writing some new ones.
Shu takes the notes.
He shoves them into his pocket where the blood and smoked salmon stained knife is, along with two sharpened sticks.
Now he is ready.
Ready? says Markus. Let's go.
They head off in the direction of the sand dunes, Markus leading.
Shu and Raoul walk behind.
How old are you? asks Raoul.
How old do I look? asks Shu.
Heaps old, says Raoul. Are you a professor?
Sadly no, says Shu. I am not a professor. I am a poet.
Yuck, says Raoul. We do that at school.
You don't DO poetry, says Shu. You feel it.
We do it, says Raoul. But it's not my best subject.
His best subject is science, says Markus.
Yeah, says Raoul.
They trudge on through the landscape.
Along the edge of Lake Jasper, towards the sand dunes.
Shu imagines the conversation going differently.
He imagines Raoul saying: Are you the same age as my dad?
And he, replying: Probably. I have a few white hairs, though.
And Raoul: I can't see any.
And he cheering up.
It occurs to him that he could cheer up anyway.
Here he is on an expedition with two new people, a father and son.
The sun glints on Lake Jasper. Shafts of light strike the white water. A minnow flickers. Or is it a freshwater cobbler?
He feels the handle of the knife in his pocket.
What's that in your pocket? asks Raoul.
You don't want to introduce a knife to a boy in front of (or behind) his father. Shu knows that.
So he takes out the two sharpened sticks.
What are they for? asks Raoul.
Fighting, says Shu.
Can we fight? asks Raoul.
I don't think so, says Shu. You need training.
You could train me, says Raoul.
What's this? asks Markus.
Shu's going to train me to fight with sharp sticks, says Raoul.
Markus thinks: That's not going to happen.
Perhaps he could help you to make up a poem instead, says Markus.
Yeah right, dad, says Raoul.
I could, says Shu, but a poet must have a true love of words.
We have a true love of words, don't we, son, says Markus.
He is determined to deflect his son's attention from sticks.
I'll start us off, says Markus. This will be a poem about a hunt for a spider. Give me a minute.
Trudge, trudge.
What will Markus come up with? Shu wonders
Got it! says Markus.
No bigger than a rice grain
Hard to spot.
Seventy four species
So far we have got.
All in South Western Australia
Except for one, which is not.
To Shu this sounds like a long winded riddle, but Raoul is proud of his dad.
Saturday, May 25, 2019
Eye Clapping
Elodie and Lavender have gone off to look for female peacock spiders.
Gaius is sketching Felix, who is glad to keep still.
Finished, says Gaius. Like to see it?
I'll just lie here a bit longer, says Felix.
You should really get back on the bicycle, says Gaius.
It's broken, says Felix.
Nearly mended! says Baby Pierre. But you're not getting on it.
Felix looks glum.
His round eyes fill with water.
He only came here to ride on the bike.
Maybe he will run off in a minute. Get moving.
Yes. He stands up.
Now he can see the sketch that Gaius has been doing.
Is that ME? asks Felix.
A good facsimile, says Gaius. I pride myself on my accuracy.
But I look like a clown, says Felix.
A cat, says Gaius. See here. I've taken particular care with the two ear-like protrusions.
Felix attempts to twist round to observe his two ear-like protrusions.
But the ear-like protrusions turn with him.
Would you like to see yourself in a mirror? asks Gaius. There'll be one on the camper.
Okay.
He picks up Felix and takes him over to the camper's outside mirror.
Felix stares into his own two round eyes.
And sees two ear-like protrusions attached somewhere behind him.
Thank you, says Felix. I need to come to terms with this. Put me down.
May we keep you with us a little longer? asks Gaius.
Thank you for asking but no, says Felix. I intend to live the rest of my life as a hermit.
Dear me, says Gaius. So it's farewell, Felix.
Felix moves off in the direction from which he and Baby Pierre had arrived.
The same direction that Raoul and Markus are arriving from, right this minute.
Raoul is breathless.
We lost Baby Pierre!
Dreadfully sorry, says Markus. He's not here by any chance is he?
He is, says Gaius. He succeeded in finding a maratus felinus, and brought him back here.
Wonderful, says Markus, may we see the felinus?
He has just left us to live the life of a hermit, says Gaius.
How do you know? asks Markus.
He said as much, says Gaius. I made a sketch of him. Care to see it?
Markus looks.
It's a passable sketch. Then he spots the dead maratus cristatus.
What happened here?
A tragic misunderstanding involving a female, says Gaius.
Where is the female? asks Markus. Have you kept her?
She ran off, says Gaius. They are quick little creatures. Elodie and Lavender have decided to devote themselves to looking for females.
Great, says Markus. Okay, we'll be off again. Good news about Baby Pierre.
Wait, says Gaius. Would you like another of my team members to assist you?
Sure, says Markus.
Shu has been mooning around in the camper all afternoon, says Gaius, He needs something to do. Take him with you. SHU!
What? says Shu, sliding the side door open.
It's the first time Raoul and Markus have clapped eyes on a Middle Tang poet.
Gaius is sketching Felix, who is glad to keep still.
Finished, says Gaius. Like to see it?
I'll just lie here a bit longer, says Felix.
You should really get back on the bicycle, says Gaius.
It's broken, says Felix.
Nearly mended! says Baby Pierre. But you're not getting on it.
Felix looks glum.
His round eyes fill with water.
He only came here to ride on the bike.
Maybe he will run off in a minute. Get moving.
Yes. He stands up.
Now he can see the sketch that Gaius has been doing.
Is that ME? asks Felix.
A good facsimile, says Gaius. I pride myself on my accuracy.
But I look like a clown, says Felix.
A cat, says Gaius. See here. I've taken particular care with the two ear-like protrusions.
Felix attempts to twist round to observe his two ear-like protrusions.
But the ear-like protrusions turn with him.
Would you like to see yourself in a mirror? asks Gaius. There'll be one on the camper.
Okay.
He picks up Felix and takes him over to the camper's outside mirror.
Felix stares into his own two round eyes.
And sees two ear-like protrusions attached somewhere behind him.
Thank you, says Felix. I need to come to terms with this. Put me down.
May we keep you with us a little longer? asks Gaius.
Thank you for asking but no, says Felix. I intend to live the rest of my life as a hermit.
Dear me, says Gaius. So it's farewell, Felix.
Felix moves off in the direction from which he and Baby Pierre had arrived.
The same direction that Raoul and Markus are arriving from, right this minute.
Raoul is breathless.
We lost Baby Pierre!
Dreadfully sorry, says Markus. He's not here by any chance is he?
He is, says Gaius. He succeeded in finding a maratus felinus, and brought him back here.
Wonderful, says Markus, may we see the felinus?
He has just left us to live the life of a hermit, says Gaius.
How do you know? asks Markus.
He said as much, says Gaius. I made a sketch of him. Care to see it?
Markus looks.
It's a passable sketch. Then he spots the dead maratus cristatus.
What happened here?
A tragic misunderstanding involving a female, says Gaius.
Where is the female? asks Markus. Have you kept her?
She ran off, says Gaius. They are quick little creatures. Elodie and Lavender have decided to devote themselves to looking for females.
Great, says Markus. Okay, we'll be off again. Good news about Baby Pierre.
Wait, says Gaius. Would you like another of my team members to assist you?
Sure, says Markus.
Shu has been mooning around in the camper all afternoon, says Gaius, He needs something to do. Take him with you. SHU!
What? says Shu, sliding the side door open.
It's the first time Raoul and Markus have clapped eyes on a Middle Tang poet.
Friday, May 24, 2019
Unaware Of His Feline Features
Baby Pierre is fixing his bicycle.
A spoke has popped out.
Felix is lying on the poncho next to the deceased.
Felix is winded.
Huh-huh!
He turns.
Sees the less fortunate maratus.
He weeps.
He could be my brother.
No, says Gaius. He could not.
Why not? asks Felix.
You are a felinus, says Gaius.
Means nothing to me, says Felix. It's not like I look like a cat.
Gaius determines to write something of this in his note book.
Subject does not know that he looks like a cat.
He looks about for a pencil.
Ah yes! In the date ball packet.
He reaches in.
Draws out a pencil. It's wet.
It's wet, says Gaius. Elodie, do you have a tea towel?
As if I'd have a tea towel, says Elodie. But I do have a tissue.
She reaches into her shorts pocket for a tissue.
It's folded. She unfolds the tissue. A squashed baked bean drops out.
I forgot all about that, says Elodie.
We hadn't, says First Dirty.
It's for Lavender isn't it? says Elodie.
What's for me? asks Lavender.
Nothing, says First Dirty.
He glowers at Elodie.
You wrecked it.
Give it to me, says Lavender. What is it?
The squashed baked bean lies on the poncho.
Thin skin, sand dusted, burst open, oozing floury insides.
You can keep it, says Lavender.
I'll have it, says Felix. It looks yummy.
Who are you? asks Lavender.
Felix, says Felix. I'm a trick cyclist, recovering from a blow.
YOU, says Lavender, are a maratus. Who found you?
No one, says Felix. I wasn't lost.
I mean who brought you here? No, don't tell me.
She has just spotted Baby Pierre, busy poking his spoke back into its spoke hole.
It must have been him.
Elodie can see that Lavender is disappointed.
Never mind, say Elodie. Let's go and look for females.
You and me? says Lavender.
You and me, says Elodie.
Lavender looks at Baby Pierre to see what he thinks about that.
Poker face.
Jealous!
A spoke has popped out.
Felix is lying on the poncho next to the deceased.
Felix is winded.
Huh-huh!
He turns.
Sees the less fortunate maratus.
He weeps.
He could be my brother.
No, says Gaius. He could not.
Why not? asks Felix.
You are a felinus, says Gaius.
Means nothing to me, says Felix. It's not like I look like a cat.
Gaius determines to write something of this in his note book.
Subject does not know that he looks like a cat.
He looks about for a pencil.
Ah yes! In the date ball packet.
He reaches in.
Draws out a pencil. It's wet.
It's wet, says Gaius. Elodie, do you have a tea towel?
As if I'd have a tea towel, says Elodie. But I do have a tissue.
She reaches into her shorts pocket for a tissue.
It's folded. She unfolds the tissue. A squashed baked bean drops out.
I forgot all about that, says Elodie.
We hadn't, says First Dirty.
It's for Lavender isn't it? says Elodie.
What's for me? asks Lavender.
Nothing, says First Dirty.
He glowers at Elodie.
You wrecked it.
Give it to me, says Lavender. What is it?
The squashed baked bean lies on the poncho.
Thin skin, sand dusted, burst open, oozing floury insides.
You can keep it, says Lavender.
I'll have it, says Felix. It looks yummy.
Who are you? asks Lavender.
Felix, says Felix. I'm a trick cyclist, recovering from a blow.
YOU, says Lavender, are a maratus. Who found you?
No one, says Felix. I wasn't lost.
I mean who brought you here? No, don't tell me.
She has just spotted Baby Pierre, busy poking his spoke back into its spoke hole.
It must have been him.
Elodie can see that Lavender is disappointed.
Never mind, say Elodie. Let's go and look for females.
You and me? says Lavender.
You and me, says Elodie.
Lavender looks at Baby Pierre to see what he thinks about that.
Poker face.
Jealous!
Thursday, May 23, 2019
A Bad Day For Spiders.
Gaius has concluded the maratus cristatus is dead.
He sees Elodie approaching.
Perhaps she has had better luck.
Any luck? asks Gaius.
Elodie sits down beside Gaius, dropping First and Second Dirty onto the poncho.
They come to rest near the defunct maratus.
No, says Elodie. You?
Yes and no, says Gaius. Our cristatus has died in mysterious circumstances. His female friend claims she is not responsible. We shall never know the truth because she has run off in a hurry.
What a drama, says Elodie. At least you learned something.
What, exactly? asks Gaius.
He does not feel he has learned anything useful.
Cherchez la femme, says Elodie.
Females are hard to identify, says Gaius.
Yes but they are good at identification, says Elodie. Perhaps I'll concentrate on finding females.
Good idea, says Gaius.
Where's Lavender? asks First Dirty.
With Arthur or Sprocket, says Gaius.
Sprocket is staring at his phone, not far from the poncho.
Shit, says Sprocket. Left her in the car!
He goes over to the HiLux to retrieve Lavender, who is on the front passenger seat visualising the future.
Sorry, says Sprocket.
That's okay, says Lavender. I knew you would come.
Yeah, you hoped, says Sprocket. .
But I DID, says Lavender. I wasn't hoping, I KNEW.
Whatever, says Sprocket.
He carries her to the poncho, where First and Second Dirty are waiting, beside the dead spider.
Lavender looks at the dead spider.
She hopes Sprocket won't ask her if she knew this had happened.
He doesn't. He has been distracted by an accident which has happened to Felix.
Felix the natural.
Doing wheelies and stoppies on Baby Pierre's tiny bicycle.
But he is the size of a rice grain, and Baby Pierre is a medium sized pebble.
Felix's longest legs only reach the pedals half of the time.
He has swerved to avoid Sprocket.
And crashed.
He lies on the ground.
It's a bad day for spiders.
He sees Elodie approaching.
Perhaps she has had better luck.
Any luck? asks Gaius.
Elodie sits down beside Gaius, dropping First and Second Dirty onto the poncho.
They come to rest near the defunct maratus.
No, says Elodie. You?
Yes and no, says Gaius. Our cristatus has died in mysterious circumstances. His female friend claims she is not responsible. We shall never know the truth because she has run off in a hurry.
What a drama, says Elodie. At least you learned something.
What, exactly? asks Gaius.
He does not feel he has learned anything useful.
Cherchez la femme, says Elodie.
Females are hard to identify, says Gaius.
Yes but they are good at identification, says Elodie. Perhaps I'll concentrate on finding females.
Good idea, says Gaius.
Where's Lavender? asks First Dirty.
With Arthur or Sprocket, says Gaius.
Sprocket is staring at his phone, not far from the poncho.
Shit, says Sprocket. Left her in the car!
He goes over to the HiLux to retrieve Lavender, who is on the front passenger seat visualising the future.
Sorry, says Sprocket.
That's okay, says Lavender. I knew you would come.
Yeah, you hoped, says Sprocket. .
But I DID, says Lavender. I wasn't hoping, I KNEW.
Whatever, says Sprocket.
He carries her to the poncho, where First and Second Dirty are waiting, beside the dead spider.
Lavender looks at the dead spider.
She hopes Sprocket won't ask her if she knew this had happened.
He doesn't. He has been distracted by an accident which has happened to Felix.
Felix the natural.
Doing wheelies and stoppies on Baby Pierre's tiny bicycle.
But he is the size of a rice grain, and Baby Pierre is a medium sized pebble.
Felix's longest legs only reach the pedals half of the time.
He has swerved to avoid Sprocket.
And crashed.
He lies on the ground.
It's a bad day for spiders.
Wednesday, May 22, 2019
Tonight I Will Enter
My bicycle, says Baby Pierre. Who'll go and get it?
You go, Arthur, says Gaius. I'm watching the maratus cristatus, for signs of life.
The maratus cristatus exhibits no signs of life.
But Gaius remains sitting.
Arthur gets up. He has drunk too much water.
Okay.
Arthur, Baby Pierre and Felix head for the camper.
Woo! says Baby Pierre. It looks super!
It does look nice, as we no doubt remember.
The rude message is covered with gold paint, except for "S IF Y"
And a photo of Daniel O'Connell hangs from the door handle.
This is new.
Arthur opens the side door.
Shu is inside. He appears to be sulking.
Hi, says Arthur. I thought you were out in the sand dunes.
I was, says Shu. But my search for a spider was fruitless.
Gaius had a female, says Arthur. But she killed the maratus cristatus and ran off. Baby Pierre's found another one.
Felix, says Baby Pierre. He looks like a cat.
I don't, says Felix. Where is the bicycle?
Where's Baby Pierre's bicycle? asks Arthur.
Shu is glad to have something to do.
He moves a few cushions.
There it is, in its green fluoroelastane glory.
Yay! says Baby Pierre.
Arthur drops the bike to the ground, and Baby Pierre and Felix jump down together.
Baby Pierre gets on his bike and does a circuit round Felix, followed by a wheelie and a stoppie.
Now ME! cries Felix.
You might not be able to, says Baby Pierre. Do you want a lesson?
NO! cries Felix.
He does not need a lesson. He is a natural.
He performs circuits and wheelies and stoppies.
None of which are noticed by Shu or Arthur.
Shu is showing Arthur the rooftop tent.
I thought we could sleep here.
I might sleep in the HiLux, says Arthur.
O! says Shu.
What's up? says Arthur.
Nothing, says Shu.
Arthur goes off for a pee. Too much water.
Shu remains in the camper, composing a poem.
The moon breaks though clouds
Sharp beams awaken
Two pointed sticks
Aimed at your heart
To assuage my endless longing
Tonight I will enter the Hilux.
You go, Arthur, says Gaius. I'm watching the maratus cristatus, for signs of life.
The maratus cristatus exhibits no signs of life.
But Gaius remains sitting.
Arthur gets up. He has drunk too much water.
Okay.
Arthur, Baby Pierre and Felix head for the camper.
Woo! says Baby Pierre. It looks super!
It does look nice, as we no doubt remember.
The rude message is covered with gold paint, except for "S IF Y"
And a photo of Daniel O'Connell hangs from the door handle.
This is new.
Arthur opens the side door.
Shu is inside. He appears to be sulking.
Hi, says Arthur. I thought you were out in the sand dunes.
I was, says Shu. But my search for a spider was fruitless.
Gaius had a female, says Arthur. But she killed the maratus cristatus and ran off. Baby Pierre's found another one.
Felix, says Baby Pierre. He looks like a cat.
I don't, says Felix. Where is the bicycle?
Where's Baby Pierre's bicycle? asks Arthur.
Shu is glad to have something to do.
He moves a few cushions.
There it is, in its green fluoroelastane glory.
Yay! says Baby Pierre.
Arthur drops the bike to the ground, and Baby Pierre and Felix jump down together.
Baby Pierre gets on his bike and does a circuit round Felix, followed by a wheelie and a stoppie.
Now ME! cries Felix.
You might not be able to, says Baby Pierre. Do you want a lesson?
NO! cries Felix.
He does not need a lesson. He is a natural.
He performs circuits and wheelies and stoppies.
None of which are noticed by Shu or Arthur.
Shu is showing Arthur the rooftop tent.
I thought we could sleep here.
I might sleep in the HiLux, says Arthur.
O! says Shu.
What's up? says Arthur.
Nothing, says Shu.
Arthur goes off for a pee. Too much water.
Shu remains in the camper, composing a poem.
The moon breaks though clouds
Sharp beams awaken
Two pointed sticks
Aimed at your heart
To assuage my endless longing
Tonight I will enter the Hilux.
Tuesday, May 21, 2019
Death And Continuity
Mid afternoon. Arthur and Sprocket have returned in the HiLux.
They are unloading the water, when Gaius arrives.
He is carrying a misted-up date ball packet, stiffened with a pencil.
Arthur! says Gaius. You're back. Did you get the water?
Sure did, says Arthur.
And we've done heaps of work on the doco, says Sprocket.
I must look at it sometime, says Gaius. But not right now. I've obtained a second spider
New species? asks Arthur.
Time will tell, says Gaius. It's a female.
Where is she? asks Sprocket. Can I get a photo?
In the date ball packet, says Gaius.
Bingo! says Sprocket. Continuity!
Let's hope so, says Gaius The maratus cristatus is in there as well.
I meant for the doco, says Sprocket. The date ball packet features in the opening sequence. And now it reappears with a different function. How cool is that?
Average, says Arthur.
Gaius is keen to open the packet. He sits down on the poncho.
Sprocket takes out his phone camera.
Gaius opens the packet.
Nothing comes out.
This is disturbing, says Gaius.
Shake it, says Arthur.
They may be still mating, says Gaius. But you'd think they'd have finished by now.
Something's coming out! says Sprocket.
Something is. It's the female. And she does not look best pleased.
She stops on the poncho.
He's dead, says the female.
Dear me, says Gaius. I was certain you must be the same species. You seemed so keen.
I didn't do it, says the female. He was a sweetie. I'll miss him. Goodbye.
Wait! says Gaius. What happened?
Victory dance, says the female. Slipped and cracked his opisthosoma.
Are you sure he's dead? asks Gaius, peering into the packet.
Pretty sure. She does not care either way.
She runs away quickly.
Baby Pierre arrives shortly after.
Gaius is sitting on the poncho with Arthur and Sprocket, drinking flat water.
They are observing something, inert and tiny, near the open date ball packet.
Hi all! says Baby Pierre. I've brought a new friend home. Felix.
Hi all! squeaks the maratus felinus.
Can someone get my bike out of the camper? says Baby Pierre. We want to ride it.
You didn't happen to see a female maratus as you approached? asks Gaius. We failed to detain her.
No, says Baby Pierre. But Felix might have. Did you, Felix?
Felix did, but he's not going to say so.
All he wants is a ride on the bike.
They are unloading the water, when Gaius arrives.
He is carrying a misted-up date ball packet, stiffened with a pencil.
Arthur! says Gaius. You're back. Did you get the water?
Sure did, says Arthur.
And we've done heaps of work on the doco, says Sprocket.
I must look at it sometime, says Gaius. But not right now. I've obtained a second spider
New species? asks Arthur.
Time will tell, says Gaius. It's a female.
Where is she? asks Sprocket. Can I get a photo?
In the date ball packet, says Gaius.
Bingo! says Sprocket. Continuity!
Let's hope so, says Gaius The maratus cristatus is in there as well.
I meant for the doco, says Sprocket. The date ball packet features in the opening sequence. And now it reappears with a different function. How cool is that?
Average, says Arthur.
Gaius is keen to open the packet. He sits down on the poncho.
Sprocket takes out his phone camera.
Gaius opens the packet.
Nothing comes out.
This is disturbing, says Gaius.
Shake it, says Arthur.
They may be still mating, says Gaius. But you'd think they'd have finished by now.
Something's coming out! says Sprocket.
Something is. It's the female. And she does not look best pleased.
She stops on the poncho.
He's dead, says the female.
Dear me, says Gaius. I was certain you must be the same species. You seemed so keen.
I didn't do it, says the female. He was a sweetie. I'll miss him. Goodbye.
Wait! says Gaius. What happened?
Victory dance, says the female. Slipped and cracked his opisthosoma.
Are you sure he's dead? asks Gaius, peering into the packet.
Pretty sure. She does not care either way.
She runs away quickly.
Baby Pierre arrives shortly after.
Gaius is sitting on the poncho with Arthur and Sprocket, drinking flat water.
They are observing something, inert and tiny, near the open date ball packet.
Hi all! says Baby Pierre. I've brought a new friend home. Felix.
Hi all! squeaks the maratus felinus.
Can someone get my bike out of the camper? says Baby Pierre. We want to ride it.
You didn't happen to see a female maratus as you approached? asks Gaius. We failed to detain her.
No, says Baby Pierre. But Felix might have. Did you, Felix?
Felix did, but he's not going to say so.
All he wants is a ride on the bike.
Monday, May 20, 2019
Free-Wheeling Tenacity
Hello, says Baby Pierre. I have thought of a sensible question.
Go ahead, says the maratus felinus.
How would you describe yourself? asks Baby Pierre.
That's a very good question, says the maratus felinus. How would you describe yourself?
A free-wheeling pebble, says Baby Pierre, distinguished by....
I was repeating the question, says the maratus felinus. Not asking.
Sorry, says Baby Pierre. There's no way to tell the difference.
If you had waited a few seconds longer, I would have answered the question, says the maratus felinus. If I hadn't answered the question by then, you would know I was asking. But I don't usually answer a question with a question.
Good, says Baby Pierre. Do you remember the question?
Yes, says the maratus. How would I describe myself? A fun guy. A good dancer. Interested in short term relationships.
Stop, says Baby Pierre.
I've embarrassed you, says the maratus felinus.
You've misunderstood me, says Baby Pierre. I'm a volunteer with Project Maratus. We're trying to find new species of maratus in this biodiversity hotspot.
I see, says the maratus felinus. So I live in a biodiversity hotspot. Why then am I lonely?
A biodiversity hotspot is not a nightclub, says Baby Pierre. It's a region. Your habitat is shrinking. You should think about moving.
Lonely, repeats the maratus felinus.
I really wish you would tell me what kind of maratus you are, says Baby Pierre.
You should ask a female, says the maratus felinus. They always know.
Would you like to know? asks Baby Pierre.
Would it help? asks the maratus.
Question with a question, says Baby Pierre.
Answer! says the maratus.
Short answer, yes, says Baby Pierre. If we wait here my colleagues Raoul and Markus will catch up. They might find you a female.
I don't want a female, says the maratus. You do.
But you're lonely, says Baby Pierre.
Can I ask you a question? asks the maratus.
Go ahead, says Baby Pierre.
Free-wheeling and distinguished by what? asks the maratus.
Me? says Baby Pierre. I am distinguished by this mark on my head. The Mark of the Claw.
What does it signify? asks the maratus.
Tenacity, says Baby Pierre. And good legs.
Free-wheeling, tenacity, good legs. You ride a bicycle! says the maratus.
I do, says Baby Pierre. It's in the camper.
Woo! says the marastus felinus. Can I see it?
Yes, says Baby Pierre. Come with me.
He is beginning to think that working on Project Maratus is easy.
Go ahead, says the maratus felinus.
How would you describe yourself? asks Baby Pierre.
That's a very good question, says the maratus felinus. How would you describe yourself?
A free-wheeling pebble, says Baby Pierre, distinguished by....
I was repeating the question, says the maratus felinus. Not asking.
Sorry, says Baby Pierre. There's no way to tell the difference.
If you had waited a few seconds longer, I would have answered the question, says the maratus felinus. If I hadn't answered the question by then, you would know I was asking. But I don't usually answer a question with a question.
Good, says Baby Pierre. Do you remember the question?
Yes, says the maratus. How would I describe myself? A fun guy. A good dancer. Interested in short term relationships.
Stop, says Baby Pierre.
I've embarrassed you, says the maratus felinus.
You've misunderstood me, says Baby Pierre. I'm a volunteer with Project Maratus. We're trying to find new species of maratus in this biodiversity hotspot.
I see, says the maratus felinus. So I live in a biodiversity hotspot. Why then am I lonely?
A biodiversity hotspot is not a nightclub, says Baby Pierre. It's a region. Your habitat is shrinking. You should think about moving.
Lonely, repeats the maratus felinus.
I really wish you would tell me what kind of maratus you are, says Baby Pierre.
You should ask a female, says the maratus felinus. They always know.
Would you like to know? asks Baby Pierre.
Would it help? asks the maratus.
Question with a question, says Baby Pierre.
Answer! says the maratus.
Short answer, yes, says Baby Pierre. If we wait here my colleagues Raoul and Markus will catch up. They might find you a female.
I don't want a female, says the maratus. You do.
But you're lonely, says Baby Pierre.
Can I ask you a question? asks the maratus.
Go ahead, says Baby Pierre.
Free-wheeling and distinguished by what? asks the maratus.
Me? says Baby Pierre. I am distinguished by this mark on my head. The Mark of the Claw.
What does it signify? asks the maratus.
Tenacity, says Baby Pierre. And good legs.
Free-wheeling, tenacity, good legs. You ride a bicycle! says the maratus.
I do, says Baby Pierre. It's in the camper.
Woo! says the marastus felinus. Can I see it?
Yes, says Baby Pierre. Come with me.
He is beginning to think that working on Project Maratus is easy.
Sunday, May 19, 2019
Imagine Your Feet
Gaius waits by the cellophane packet.
It's been a successful morning.
He wonders if Elodie has been lucky.
.....
Elodie sits in a sand dune, sifting sand.
An ant runs up her arm.
She tries brushing it off, but it bites her.
Ouch. She stands up and heads for the water.
She passes the campsite where First and Second Dirty are waiting to be rescued.
They are lying face up on the ground exchanging riddles.
What is round? asks First Dirty
A pebble? asks Second Dirty.
The sun! says First Dirty.
Got me, says Second Dirty. What is hard?
A pebble? asks First Dirty.
Cartesian geometry, says Second Dirty.
Elodie stops. She has seen them.
I see we're all slacking, says Elodie. I'm heading for the water. Want to come with me?
Yes. They do.
She picks up First and Second Dirty.
Wait! says Second Dirty. Can you dig up something we buried?
Is it dead? asks Elodie.
Smashed, says Second Dirty. It's a baked bean that I sat on.
Why on earth do you want me to dig it up? asks Elodie.
They explain.
She digs it up for them.
......
Meanwhile Baby Pierre has got tired of waiting for Markus and Raoul and pressed ahead to the spot where the tiny maratus felinus had been preening its whiskers.
Is it still there?
No, it has moved on.
But Baby Pierre has seen spider tracks.
They are small, because, well, it's obvious.
Imagine you were the size of a rice grain.
Imagine your feet.
Baby Pierre travels low to the ground, and he has good eyesight.
He follows the tracks.
The tracks lead behind the thick trunk of a Kingia australis.
There sits the whiskery spider.
Hello, says Baby Pierre. I'm in search of a new species of peacock spider. Might that be you?
That is the dumbest question anyone has ever asked me, says the spider.
I'll start again, says Baby Pierre.
He circles the Kingia australis, and appears a second time, with a more sensible question.
It's been a successful morning.
He wonders if Elodie has been lucky.
.....
Elodie sits in a sand dune, sifting sand.
An ant runs up her arm.
She tries brushing it off, but it bites her.
Ouch. She stands up and heads for the water.
She passes the campsite where First and Second Dirty are waiting to be rescued.
They are lying face up on the ground exchanging riddles.
What is round? asks First Dirty
A pebble? asks Second Dirty.
The sun! says First Dirty.
Got me, says Second Dirty. What is hard?
A pebble? asks First Dirty.
Cartesian geometry, says Second Dirty.
Elodie stops. She has seen them.
I see we're all slacking, says Elodie. I'm heading for the water. Want to come with me?
Yes. They do.
She picks up First and Second Dirty.
Wait! says Second Dirty. Can you dig up something we buried?
Is it dead? asks Elodie.
Smashed, says Second Dirty. It's a baked bean that I sat on.
Why on earth do you want me to dig it up? asks Elodie.
They explain.
She digs it up for them.
......
Meanwhile Baby Pierre has got tired of waiting for Markus and Raoul and pressed ahead to the spot where the tiny maratus felinus had been preening its whiskers.
Is it still there?
No, it has moved on.
But Baby Pierre has seen spider tracks.
They are small, because, well, it's obvious.
Imagine you were the size of a rice grain.
Imagine your feet.
Baby Pierre travels low to the ground, and he has good eyesight.
He follows the tracks.
The tracks lead behind the thick trunk of a Kingia australis.
There sits the whiskery spider.
Hello, says Baby Pierre. I'm in search of a new species of peacock spider. Might that be you?
That is the dumbest question anyone has ever asked me, says the spider.
I'll start again, says Baby Pierre.
He circles the Kingia australis, and appears a second time, with a more sensible question.
Saturday, May 18, 2019
Lightly Erotic
The maratus claps, to get the females' attention.
He already has it.
The three rice-grain-sized females watch him to see what he'll do next.
He hesitates.
Anything wrong? asks Gaius.
No, says the maratus. Just getting ready to leap backwards.
Understandable, says Gaius. I believe they can be quite aggressive if they don't like your dancing.
Tell me about it, says the maratus. And there's THREE of these lovelies.
The females wink at one another.
Flattery.
The maratus starts dancing, waving his third pair of fuzzy black legs in the air, displaying white tips.
He edges closer to the females.
He is not able to catch what they're muttering.
But soon enough it becomes evident that they don't like his dance.
Two of them shoot forward in full attack mode.
The maratus leaps onto Gaius's shoulder.
Bravo. But it's not quite as high as all that.
Gaius stands up.
Now it is.
See that? says the maratus. Fast response time. I call it defensive dancing.
Indeed, says Gaius. I thought the third female was interested, for a moment.
Did you? says the maratus. Which one is she?
The one that hung back a little, says Gaius. The other two have stalked off in an obvious huff, but she is still down there. Care for another try?
Lower me to half mast, says the maratus.
Gaius obliges.
The maratus calls down to the female.
Truth or dare, says the maratus.
Dare, says the female.
Okay, says the maratus. See that date ball packet? I dare you to enter it.
Gaius is pleased with the maratus's choice of dare. If the female enters the date ball packet of her own volition, he will have a fine specimen.
The female looks at the date ball packet gaping open on the sand.
There is condensation on the cellophane.
It's wet, says the female.
My wet, says the maratus.
This is erotic.
She steps lightly inside.
He already has it.
The three rice-grain-sized females watch him to see what he'll do next.
He hesitates.
Anything wrong? asks Gaius.
No, says the maratus. Just getting ready to leap backwards.
Understandable, says Gaius. I believe they can be quite aggressive if they don't like your dancing.
Tell me about it, says the maratus. And there's THREE of these lovelies.
The females wink at one another.
Flattery.
The maratus starts dancing, waving his third pair of fuzzy black legs in the air, displaying white tips.
He edges closer to the females.
He is not able to catch what they're muttering.
But soon enough it becomes evident that they don't like his dance.
Two of them shoot forward in full attack mode.
The maratus leaps onto Gaius's shoulder.
Bravo. But it's not quite as high as all that.
Gaius stands up.
Now it is.
See that? says the maratus. Fast response time. I call it defensive dancing.
Indeed, says Gaius. I thought the third female was interested, for a moment.
Did you? says the maratus. Which one is she?
The one that hung back a little, says Gaius. The other two have stalked off in an obvious huff, but she is still down there. Care for another try?
Lower me to half mast, says the maratus.
Gaius obliges.
The maratus calls down to the female.
Truth or dare, says the maratus.
Dare, says the female.
Okay, says the maratus. See that date ball packet? I dare you to enter it.
Gaius is pleased with the maratus's choice of dare. If the female enters the date ball packet of her own volition, he will have a fine specimen.
The female looks at the date ball packet gaping open on the sand.
There is condensation on the cellophane.
It's wet, says the female.
My wet, says the maratus.
This is erotic.
She steps lightly inside.
Friday, May 17, 2019
Promising Females
There will not be a sad ending.
Gaius has found a pencil.
He slots it in, beside the maratus, along with several loose papers.
What's all this paper? asks the maratus.
My notes on the peacock spider, says Gaius. Feel free to peruse them. Unfortunately, page one is missing.
I will read them, says the maratus. Never heard of peacock spiders.
But you are a peacock spider, says Gaius. It's your common name.
A bird name, says the maratus. I don't think so.
It's true, says Elodie. The male peacock has a splendid tail, and male marati have splendid abdomens.
Hardly the same thing, says the maratus. I object strongly. Is there a science journal I could write to?
I'm sure there is, says Gaius, but now we really must set off for the sand dunes.
He picks up the date ball packet with the notes, the pencil and the maratus cristatus inside.
They set off for the sand dunes.
They arrive at the sand dunes.
Now what? asks Elodie.
Spread out, says Gaius. Elodie, you go that way. Shu, you go that way. I'll stay here.
Shu goes off that way.
Sand and grass, no spiders.
He remembers they are tiny.
He stops and bends down to examine the sand.
Nothing.
Elodie has gone off the other way.
Sand and grass.
She bends down and pokes about for spiders.
Nothing.
Gaius has remained here.
He looks around for signs of spiders.
His eye falls on the date ball packet which has misted over.
He unfolds it.
The maratus runs out.
Uh uh uh, says the maratus.
Dear me, says Gaius, I thought spiders needed less air than humans.
We need to keep moving, to breathe, says the maratus. Perhaps that was what was written on your missing page one.
I don't think so, says Gaius. But you're out now. When you've recovered, would you like to make yourself useful?
Sure, says the maratus. Just tell me how.
I thought you might make some sort of signal to attract other marati, says Gaius.
Done! says the maratus cristatus.
He opens his flaps.
Several drab-looking spiders emerge from the roots of the grasses.
Females.
This is promising.
Gaius has found a pencil.
He slots it in, beside the maratus, along with several loose papers.
What's all this paper? asks the maratus.
My notes on the peacock spider, says Gaius. Feel free to peruse them. Unfortunately, page one is missing.
I will read them, says the maratus. Never heard of peacock spiders.
But you are a peacock spider, says Gaius. It's your common name.
A bird name, says the maratus. I don't think so.
It's true, says Elodie. The male peacock has a splendid tail, and male marati have splendid abdomens.
Hardly the same thing, says the maratus. I object strongly. Is there a science journal I could write to?
I'm sure there is, says Gaius, but now we really must set off for the sand dunes.
He picks up the date ball packet with the notes, the pencil and the maratus cristatus inside.
They set off for the sand dunes.
They arrive at the sand dunes.
Now what? asks Elodie.
Spread out, says Gaius. Elodie, you go that way. Shu, you go that way. I'll stay here.
Shu goes off that way.
Sand and grass, no spiders.
He remembers they are tiny.
He stops and bends down to examine the sand.
Nothing.
Elodie has gone off the other way.
Sand and grass.
She bends down and pokes about for spiders.
Nothing.
Gaius has remained here.
He looks around for signs of spiders.
His eye falls on the date ball packet which has misted over.
He unfolds it.
The maratus runs out.
Uh uh uh, says the maratus.
Dear me, says Gaius, I thought spiders needed less air than humans.
We need to keep moving, to breathe, says the maratus. Perhaps that was what was written on your missing page one.
I don't think so, says Gaius. But you're out now. When you've recovered, would you like to make yourself useful?
Sure, says the maratus. Just tell me how.
I thought you might make some sort of signal to attract other marati, says Gaius.
Done! says the maratus cristatus.
He opens his flaps.
Several drab-looking spiders emerge from the roots of the grasses.
Females.
This is promising.
Thursday, May 16, 2019
A Degree Of Rigidity
Right, says Gaius. Shall we proceed?
I'm ready, says Elodie.
I haven't washed the baked bean tin, says Shu. Won't we need it?
We can do without it, says Gaius. We'll take the rolled wafer tin instead.
The rolled wafer tin contains remnants of the smoked salmon from Pemberton, they now remember.
If we finish off these date balls, says Elodie, we could transfer the smoked salmon to the empty packet. Alternatively we could take the empty packet with us. What is it for?
My notes and a pencil, says Gaius. And the maratus cristatus, for comparison with any other marati we may happen to find in the sand dunes.
Do I get a say in this? asks the maratus cristatus.
Of course! says Gaius. Excuse me. What have I been thinking?
Not about me, says the maratus. But you are now. It seems to me that I have little choice about coming.
You do, says Gaius You can choose to remain.
I'll come, says the maratus. I like to travel. And Lavender predicted that my future holds eggs and vanilla.
Oops, says Elodie. I know what she referred to. This tin.
I'll travel in the tin then, says the maratus. With the pencil.
Unfortunately it smells of salmon, more than eggs and vanilla, says Elodie.
There is always the baked bean can, says Shu.
What does that smell of? asks the maratus.
Beans, says Shu.
If only Arthur and Sprocket would return with the ordinary water, we could wash all the containers, says Elodie. But they're not back yet. So your choices are:
a. A tin, smelling of salmon, and possible whiffs of egg and vanilla.
b. A baked bean can, lined with baked bean slime.
c. An empty date ball packet, which will smell of date balls and coconut, but may be subject to crushing.
The maratus considers.
I choose the date ball packet, says he.
Risky choice, says Gaius. But I respect it. May I hear your reasoning?
There will be a pencil, says the maratus. It will give the date ball packet a degree of rigidity.
Bravo, says Gaius. You are a fine thinker.
The maratus climbs into the empty date ball packet.
Gaius rummages in his back pack for a pencil.
Shu hopes he will find one, otherwise there may be a sad ending.
I'm ready, says Elodie.
I haven't washed the baked bean tin, says Shu. Won't we need it?
We can do without it, says Gaius. We'll take the rolled wafer tin instead.
The rolled wafer tin contains remnants of the smoked salmon from Pemberton, they now remember.
If we finish off these date balls, says Elodie, we could transfer the smoked salmon to the empty packet. Alternatively we could take the empty packet with us. What is it for?
My notes and a pencil, says Gaius. And the maratus cristatus, for comparison with any other marati we may happen to find in the sand dunes.
Do I get a say in this? asks the maratus cristatus.
Of course! says Gaius. Excuse me. What have I been thinking?
Not about me, says the maratus. But you are now. It seems to me that I have little choice about coming.
You do, says Gaius You can choose to remain.
I'll come, says the maratus. I like to travel. And Lavender predicted that my future holds eggs and vanilla.
Oops, says Elodie. I know what she referred to. This tin.
I'll travel in the tin then, says the maratus. With the pencil.
Unfortunately it smells of salmon, more than eggs and vanilla, says Elodie.
There is always the baked bean can, says Shu.
What does that smell of? asks the maratus.
Beans, says Shu.
If only Arthur and Sprocket would return with the ordinary water, we could wash all the containers, says Elodie. But they're not back yet. So your choices are:
a. A tin, smelling of salmon, and possible whiffs of egg and vanilla.
b. A baked bean can, lined with baked bean slime.
c. An empty date ball packet, which will smell of date balls and coconut, but may be subject to crushing.
The maratus considers.
I choose the date ball packet, says he.
Risky choice, says Gaius. But I respect it. May I hear your reasoning?
There will be a pencil, says the maratus. It will give the date ball packet a degree of rigidity.
Bravo, says Gaius. You are a fine thinker.
The maratus climbs into the empty date ball packet.
Gaius rummages in his back pack for a pencil.
Shu hopes he will find one, otherwise there may be a sad ending.
Wednesday, May 15, 2019
Whiskers Ahead
Things that we'd like to know:
1. What was the squishy thing Second Dirty sat on?
Let's see.
Second Dirty lifts himself out of the slimy substance.
There's no squishy thing there.
But he had felt it.
What's up? asks First Dirty.
I thought I sat on something squishy, says Second Dirty. But I can't see it.
Turn around, says First Dirty.
Second Dirty turns.
It's a baked bean, says First Dirty. You've mashed it.
Get it off me! cries Second Dirty.
Does it feel horrible? asks First Dirty.
YES! shouts Second Dirty.
This gives First Dirty an idea.
However, to execute it, they will need to be rescued.
.......
2. Where was Lavender, when the maratus wished to show her his dance moves?
Let's see.
She is in the HiLux with Arthur and Sprocket, on her way to Pemberton to stock up on ordinary water.
Arthur and Sprocket are discussing the documentary that Sprocket is making.
That video of the top of your head....., says Arthur.
Yeah? says Sprocket.
Needs some explanation, says Arthur.
Yeah that's what I reckon, says Sprocket. How about a voice-over?
What was happening at the time? asks Arthur.
I was eating a date ball, says Sprocket.
Anything else? asks Arthur.
Listening to Gaius explain something.
The droning sound, says Arthur. I wondered.
Can I do the voice-over? asks Lavender.
What would you say? asks Arthur.
Chewing a date ball and listening, says Lavender.
I like it! says Sprocket. That links the two things.
.......
3. Has Baby Pierre found a new species of maratus?
Let's see.
No. He hasn't.
Markus has stopped to film the numbat.
So Baby Pierre has stopped too.
As a politeness.
A tiny maratus felinus preens its mini whiskers, up ahead, unaware of what's coming.
1. What was the squishy thing Second Dirty sat on?
Let's see.
Second Dirty lifts himself out of the slimy substance.
There's no squishy thing there.
But he had felt it.
What's up? asks First Dirty.
I thought I sat on something squishy, says Second Dirty. But I can't see it.
Turn around, says First Dirty.
Second Dirty turns.
It's a baked bean, says First Dirty. You've mashed it.
Get it off me! cries Second Dirty.
Does it feel horrible? asks First Dirty.
YES! shouts Second Dirty.
This gives First Dirty an idea.
However, to execute it, they will need to be rescued.
.......
2. Where was Lavender, when the maratus wished to show her his dance moves?
Let's see.
She is in the HiLux with Arthur and Sprocket, on her way to Pemberton to stock up on ordinary water.
Arthur and Sprocket are discussing the documentary that Sprocket is making.
That video of the top of your head....., says Arthur.
Yeah? says Sprocket.
Needs some explanation, says Arthur.
Yeah that's what I reckon, says Sprocket. How about a voice-over?
What was happening at the time? asks Arthur.
I was eating a date ball, says Sprocket.
Anything else? asks Arthur.
Listening to Gaius explain something.
The droning sound, says Arthur. I wondered.
Can I do the voice-over? asks Lavender.
What would you say? asks Arthur.
Chewing a date ball and listening, says Lavender.
I like it! says Sprocket. That links the two things.
.......
3. Has Baby Pierre found a new species of maratus?
Let's see.
No. He hasn't.
Markus has stopped to film the numbat.
So Baby Pierre has stopped too.
As a politeness.
A tiny maratus felinus preens its mini whiskers, up ahead, unaware of what's coming.
Tuesday, May 14, 2019
Elusive
Baby Pierre has come to an area of grass land.
Raoul and his dad are some way behind.
He decides to stop and locate a new spider.
He slows down and stops.
All about him are grasses.
Scritch, scritch.
It's a numbat, looking for termites.
The numbat sees Baby Pierre.
Seen any spiders? asks Baby Pierre
No, says the numbat. I need to eat twenty thousand termites a day. That keeps me busy.
Is it hard to find that many termites? asks Baby Pierre.
What do you think? says the numbat.
Raoul crashes through.
Found any?
Not yet, says the numbat.
Not yet, says Baby Pierre.
........
The Dirties are trying to make their way back to the campsite.
They have already followed some footprints.
And then, other footprints.
But the footprints have led them back here.
This is like being under water, says Second Dirty.
No, it isn't, says First Dirty. The main ingredient is missing.
Underwater, you have time to think of a plan, says Second Dirty.
Is that what you did? asks First Dirty.
No, says Second Dirty. I was starting, but then I got rescued.
Let's start, says First Dirty. We might get rescued again.
Hm-hm.
Second Dirty feels uncomfortable.
He moves to a new spot without checking.
Yuck. He has sat on something squashy, surrounded by something slimy.
What can it be?
........
Gaius and Elodie have arrived at the campsite.
The roof tent has been set up on top of the camper.
Shu is sitting on the poncho, with the smoked Portuguese chicken etc.
Where are Arthur and Sprocket? asks Elodie. Where's the HiLux?
Gone back into Pemberton, says Shu. For non-carbonated water.
That's my fault, says Elodie.
Yes, says Shu.
We still have enough for a team, says Gaius. What do you say we get started?
Good plan, says Shu. I like to keep busy.
Here's a job, says Gaius. Wash out this baked beans can.
He hands the baked bean can to Shu, and places the maratus on the poncho, next to the Portuguese chicken.
The maratus cristatus wonders where Lavender is.
He has thought up a new set of dance steps.
Ideally, he'd like to see her alone.
Raoul and his dad are some way behind.
He decides to stop and locate a new spider.
He slows down and stops.
All about him are grasses.
Scritch, scritch.
It's a numbat, looking for termites.
The numbat sees Baby Pierre.
Seen any spiders? asks Baby Pierre
No, says the numbat. I need to eat twenty thousand termites a day. That keeps me busy.
Is it hard to find that many termites? asks Baby Pierre.
What do you think? says the numbat.
Raoul crashes through.
Found any?
Not yet, says the numbat.
Not yet, says Baby Pierre.
........
The Dirties are trying to make their way back to the campsite.
They have already followed some footprints.
And then, other footprints.
But the footprints have led them back here.
This is like being under water, says Second Dirty.
No, it isn't, says First Dirty. The main ingredient is missing.
Underwater, you have time to think of a plan, says Second Dirty.
Is that what you did? asks First Dirty.
No, says Second Dirty. I was starting, but then I got rescued.
Let's start, says First Dirty. We might get rescued again.
Hm-hm.
Second Dirty feels uncomfortable.
He moves to a new spot without checking.
Yuck. He has sat on something squashy, surrounded by something slimy.
What can it be?
........
Gaius and Elodie have arrived at the campsite.
The roof tent has been set up on top of the camper.
Shu is sitting on the poncho, with the smoked Portuguese chicken etc.
Where are Arthur and Sprocket? asks Elodie. Where's the HiLux?
Gone back into Pemberton, says Shu. For non-carbonated water.
That's my fault, says Elodie.
Yes, says Shu.
We still have enough for a team, says Gaius. What do you say we get started?
Good plan, says Shu. I like to keep busy.
Here's a job, says Gaius. Wash out this baked beans can.
He hands the baked bean can to Shu, and places the maratus on the poncho, next to the Portuguese chicken.
The maratus cristatus wonders where Lavender is.
He has thought up a new set of dance steps.
Ideally, he'd like to see her alone.
Monday, May 13, 2019
Read My Face
We must get going, says Markus. But first we should tidy up.
He picks up the empty baked bean can.
Hold on, says Gaius. May I have it?
Sure, says Markus. There's a few baked beans left at the bottom.
Never mind, says Gaius. I'll rinse it out later. It may come in handy.
Elodie wonders what for.
Okay, says Markus. We're off to the bushland. Ready, Raoul?
Ready, dad, says Raoul. Do we have to go slowly?
Slowly? says Markus. No, why?
Because of this pebble, says Raoul. Or do I have to carry it?
I travel fast , says Baby Pierre. And my name is Baby Pierre, not 'this pebble'.
Sorr-ee! says Raoul. And what about the maratus fishtatus?
Cristatus, says Gaius. I'll keep him.
Fishtatus is funny, says Elodie.
But inaccurate, says Gaius. Strictly speaking it should be piscarius.
Maratus piscarius, says Raoul. Hey dad, we invented a name for a species.
Now we just have to find a new one that looks fishy, says Markus. Let's go.
I thought we were after a felinus, says Baby Pierre.
We are, says Markus, but imagine how good it would be to find a new species.
I'll try and find one, says Baby Pierre.
If anyone can, he can, says Gaius. Well, we'll be off. Perhaps my team will find a new species.
Good luck, says Markus.
Baby Pierre has already started rolling towards the bushland.
Come on, piscarius, says Gaius, picking up the maratus cristatus.
Don't confuse it, says Elodie.
I'm not confused, says the maratus cristatus. Boy marati don't bother with species differentiation.
Does that explain your attempt to seduce Lavender? asks Gaius.
No. That was different, says the maratus cristatus.
Gaius and Elodie start walking back to their campsite.
Hey! Hey!
It's the Dirties, calling out for a lift.
But neither Gaius nor Elodie is listening.
Typical, says First Dirty. No one cares if we live or die.
No, agrees Second Dirty. No one but us.
Lucky we don't, says First Dirty.
Don't what? asks Second Dirty. Care?
Live or die, says First Dirty.
True, say Second Dirty. But we have unfinished business.
What's that? asks First Dirty.
To prove you're not a hindrance, says Second Dirty. I saw your face when Lavender called you a hindrance.
You read my face wrong, says First Dirty.
He picks up the empty baked bean can.
Hold on, says Gaius. May I have it?
Sure, says Markus. There's a few baked beans left at the bottom.
Never mind, says Gaius. I'll rinse it out later. It may come in handy.
Elodie wonders what for.
Okay, says Markus. We're off to the bushland. Ready, Raoul?
Ready, dad, says Raoul. Do we have to go slowly?
Slowly? says Markus. No, why?
Because of this pebble, says Raoul. Or do I have to carry it?
I travel fast , says Baby Pierre. And my name is Baby Pierre, not 'this pebble'.
Sorr-ee! says Raoul. And what about the maratus fishtatus?
Cristatus, says Gaius. I'll keep him.
Fishtatus is funny, says Elodie.
But inaccurate, says Gaius. Strictly speaking it should be piscarius.
Maratus piscarius, says Raoul. Hey dad, we invented a name for a species.
Now we just have to find a new one that looks fishy, says Markus. Let's go.
I thought we were after a felinus, says Baby Pierre.
We are, says Markus, but imagine how good it would be to find a new species.
I'll try and find one, says Baby Pierre.
If anyone can, he can, says Gaius. Well, we'll be off. Perhaps my team will find a new species.
Good luck, says Markus.
Baby Pierre has already started rolling towards the bushland.
Come on, piscarius, says Gaius, picking up the maratus cristatus.
Don't confuse it, says Elodie.
I'm not confused, says the maratus cristatus. Boy marati don't bother with species differentiation.
Does that explain your attempt to seduce Lavender? asks Gaius.
No. That was different, says the maratus cristatus.
Gaius and Elodie start walking back to their campsite.
Hey! Hey!
It's the Dirties, calling out for a lift.
But neither Gaius nor Elodie is listening.
Typical, says First Dirty. No one cares if we live or die.
No, agrees Second Dirty. No one but us.
Lucky we don't, says First Dirty.
Don't what? asks Second Dirty. Care?
Live or die, says First Dirty.
True, say Second Dirty. But we have unfinished business.
What's that? asks First Dirty.
To prove you're not a hindrance, says Second Dirty. I saw your face when Lavender called you a hindrance.
You read my face wrong, says First Dirty.
Sunday, May 12, 2019
A Hero To The Smaller Species
Now before we get down to business, says Gaius, I'll check with Project Maratus.
I'll come with you, says Elodie. Shall we bring our spider?
Yes, says Gaius. He places his hand on the poncho beside the maratus.
The maratus waits for a sign of politeness.
Hop on, says Gaius.
The maratus hops on.
Gaius and Elodie walk to the next campsite, where the boy and his dad are eating baked beans from a can.
Hello again, says Gaius. Any interest in this little fellow?
Take a look, Raoul, says the dad. What type do you think this is?
A maratus fishtatus, says Raoul.
Ha ha, laughs Elodie. That'll be Gaius's hand. It smells of smoked salmon.
Ha ha, laughs Raoul's dad. I'm Markus, by the way.
Elodie, says Elodie. I hear you're working on Project Maratus.
Yes, says Markus. Raoul and I are working on it together. No luck so far. How did you come by this one?
I have a small team of helpers, says Gaius. This one was found by Baby Pierre, in a reed hole, not far from the edge of Lake Jasper.
Unusual, says Markus.
Indeed, says Gaius. Baby Pierre is invaluable, being tiny himself, and something of a hero to the smaller species.
Why so? asks Markus.
Tour de France, says Elodie.
Baby Pierre? Name doesn't ring a bell, says Markus.
It wouldn't, says Gaius. He tends to ride under the radar. But that is his strength, here. The spiders don't fear him.
I've heard there's been a sighting of a maratus felinus, in the bush land, says Markus. Perhaps we could borrow your Baby Pierre for an afternoon.
Perhaps, says Gaius. Now where is he......?
A whistling sound rises from his trouser pocket.
Ah yes, still in here.
He reaches into his pocket, brings out Baby Pierre, First Dirty and Second Dirty, and places them on the ground, next to Raoul.
Hi, says Baby Pierre. I heard everything. And I'm ready to help these guys find a felinus.
Very good, says Gaius. What about you two?
The Dirties consider the cases for and against going.
For: Naturally, the kudos
Against: Raoul has already tried to kill Second Dirty, by deliberate drowning.
For: But he did rescue him later.
Nevertheless they decide against going.
This will have to be Baby Pierre's own adventure.
I'll come with you, says Elodie. Shall we bring our spider?
Yes, says Gaius. He places his hand on the poncho beside the maratus.
The maratus waits for a sign of politeness.
Hop on, says Gaius.
The maratus hops on.
Gaius and Elodie walk to the next campsite, where the boy and his dad are eating baked beans from a can.
Hello again, says Gaius. Any interest in this little fellow?
Take a look, Raoul, says the dad. What type do you think this is?
A maratus fishtatus, says Raoul.
Ha ha, laughs Elodie. That'll be Gaius's hand. It smells of smoked salmon.
Ha ha, laughs Raoul's dad. I'm Markus, by the way.
Elodie, says Elodie. I hear you're working on Project Maratus.
Yes, says Markus. Raoul and I are working on it together. No luck so far. How did you come by this one?
I have a small team of helpers, says Gaius. This one was found by Baby Pierre, in a reed hole, not far from the edge of Lake Jasper.
Unusual, says Markus.
Indeed, says Gaius. Baby Pierre is invaluable, being tiny himself, and something of a hero to the smaller species.
Why so? asks Markus.
Tour de France, says Elodie.
Baby Pierre? Name doesn't ring a bell, says Markus.
It wouldn't, says Gaius. He tends to ride under the radar. But that is his strength, here. The spiders don't fear him.
I've heard there's been a sighting of a maratus felinus, in the bush land, says Markus. Perhaps we could borrow your Baby Pierre for an afternoon.
Perhaps, says Gaius. Now where is he......?
A whistling sound rises from his trouser pocket.
Ah yes, still in here.
He reaches into his pocket, brings out Baby Pierre, First Dirty and Second Dirty, and places them on the ground, next to Raoul.
Hi, says Baby Pierre. I heard everything. And I'm ready to help these guys find a felinus.
Very good, says Gaius. What about you two?
The Dirties consider the cases for and against going.
For: Naturally, the kudos
Against: Raoul has already tried to kill Second Dirty, by deliberate drowning.
For: But he did rescue him later.
Nevertheless they decide against going.
This will have to be Baby Pierre's own adventure.
Saturday, May 11, 2019
Original Smell
The maratus has stopped dancing.
He is uncertain.
Why did he agree to come back to the campsite?
What had Lavender predicted? Eggs and vanilla? What does that mean?
There were no eggs and vanilla in the reed hole.
Lavender has been transferred to Gaius's pocket, so the maratus is alone with his thoughts, and has no one to enlighten him about eggs and vanilla.
It will turn out not to matter.
Gaius has arrived at the campsite, minutes after Arthur and Sprocket have returned.
On the poncho are heaps of smoked products, honey cured bacon, smoked Portugese chicken, smoked rainbow trout, and bourbon and maple syrup smoked salmon.
I see you've brought back some supplies, says Gaius. They must have cost a pretty penny.
No, says Sprocket. Arthur got them for nothing.
Always lucky, says Gaius. And did you remember the water?
We got mineral water, says Sprocket. My fave.
It's not everyone's favourite, says Elodie. Hello, Gaius, did you find them?
Yes, says Gaius. The scouting party returns, successful, having found a maratus cristatus.
Let me see, says Elodie.
Gaius places the maratus cristatus on the poncho, next to a pack of smoked salmon.
It's so cute, says Elodie. And so tiny. Where did you find it?
On Baby Pierre's head, says Gaius. He was bringing it to meet Lavender, to whom it has taken a fancy.
This news is a bit out of date.
How adorable, says Elodie. Look, Sprocket. Where's your phone? This would look great in your documentary.
Sprocket looks at Arthur.
Yes, it would, says Arthur.
Arthur's been helping me with it, says Sprocket. He has heaps of ideas.
It needs them, says Elodie. It was kind of disconnected. Let's have a look at it later, but right now we should store this food somewhere.
Not so fast, says Gaius. I feel peckish. I think I'll open the salmon.
It is packed in tight plastic. A knife is required.
Arthur produces one. It is one of the two from Gaius's kitchen, still encrusted with blood.
Disgusting, says Elodie. Go and wash it.
It's Shu's blood, says Arthur. He might want to wash it. Where is he?
Setting up the sleeping arrangements, says Elodie. Did you notice we have a rooftop tent? It sleeps three to five. No one'll have to sleep in the HiLux.
Arthur sees into a future where Shu is curled up behind him, sighing.
And an alternative future, where he spends his nights alone in the tray of the HiLux, looking at stars.
Gaius has tired of waiting for something to be done with the knife.
It's only Shu's blood after all. He slashes the plastic and eases out the salmon.
He is the only one eating, for some reason. There is quite a lot left.
Elodie fetches the tin which smells of eggs and vanilla. It will do for the rest of the salmon.
But that is the end of the original smell.
He is uncertain.
Why did he agree to come back to the campsite?
What had Lavender predicted? Eggs and vanilla? What does that mean?
There were no eggs and vanilla in the reed hole.
Lavender has been transferred to Gaius's pocket, so the maratus is alone with his thoughts, and has no one to enlighten him about eggs and vanilla.
It will turn out not to matter.
Gaius has arrived at the campsite, minutes after Arthur and Sprocket have returned.
On the poncho are heaps of smoked products, honey cured bacon, smoked Portugese chicken, smoked rainbow trout, and bourbon and maple syrup smoked salmon.
I see you've brought back some supplies, says Gaius. They must have cost a pretty penny.
No, says Sprocket. Arthur got them for nothing.
Always lucky, says Gaius. And did you remember the water?
We got mineral water, says Sprocket. My fave.
It's not everyone's favourite, says Elodie. Hello, Gaius, did you find them?
Yes, says Gaius. The scouting party returns, successful, having found a maratus cristatus.
Let me see, says Elodie.
Gaius places the maratus cristatus on the poncho, next to a pack of smoked salmon.
It's so cute, says Elodie. And so tiny. Where did you find it?
On Baby Pierre's head, says Gaius. He was bringing it to meet Lavender, to whom it has taken a fancy.
This news is a bit out of date.
How adorable, says Elodie. Look, Sprocket. Where's your phone? This would look great in your documentary.
Sprocket looks at Arthur.
Yes, it would, says Arthur.
Arthur's been helping me with it, says Sprocket. He has heaps of ideas.
It needs them, says Elodie. It was kind of disconnected. Let's have a look at it later, but right now we should store this food somewhere.
Not so fast, says Gaius. I feel peckish. I think I'll open the salmon.
It is packed in tight plastic. A knife is required.
Arthur produces one. It is one of the two from Gaius's kitchen, still encrusted with blood.
Disgusting, says Elodie. Go and wash it.
It's Shu's blood, says Arthur. He might want to wash it. Where is he?
Setting up the sleeping arrangements, says Elodie. Did you notice we have a rooftop tent? It sleeps three to five. No one'll have to sleep in the HiLux.
Arthur sees into a future where Shu is curled up behind him, sighing.
And an alternative future, where he spends his nights alone in the tray of the HiLux, looking at stars.
Gaius has tired of waiting for something to be done with the knife.
It's only Shu's blood after all. He slashes the plastic and eases out the salmon.
He is the only one eating, for some reason. There is quite a lot left.
Elodie fetches the tin which smells of eggs and vanilla. It will do for the rest of the salmon.
But that is the end of the original smell.
Friday, May 10, 2019
Mating In A Dull World
The maratus cristatus is waiting.
Baby Pierre laughs.
So do the Dirties.
All right, says Lavender. Do your mating dance. But no mating.
The maratus laughs now.
What sort of female is she?
In the palm of Gaius's hand he starts swaying.
Da-daah! He raises his abdomen and opens his flaps.
Revealing a circular union jack pattern, red white and blue. Electric!
He raises his third pair of legs and waves them at Lavender.
He vibrates his abdomen and dances from side to side.
Baby Pierre has never seen anything so suggestive.
He looks over at Lavender.
Hard to tell what she's thinking.
But he guesses she's closing her eyes.
If only I had a camera, thinks Gaius. I could film this.
Then he remembers that he has a smart phone in his pocket.
But.... he has his hands full.
In one hand: Lavender and the dancing maratus cristatus.
Can't disturb them.
In the other, Baby Pierre and the Dirties.
They will not mind.
He drops them into his left trouser pocket, and feels in his shirt pocket, for the phone.
Good. He's found it. But now.... Drat. Fumble fumble. How do the young people work these devices one handed?
I wonder, says Gaius, if you might hold the rest of your mating dance until we get back to the campsite.
But the maratus cristatus isn't listening. He is alert for only one thing. Is Lavender excited, or is she about to attack him?
Stop dancing, says Lavender. I've got the gist anyway.
No one says that, says the maratus.
But you must remember that Lavender is not the same species as you are, says Gaius. She will neither mate with you, nor attack, kill and eat you.
What is going on? The maratus stops dancing. Lavender has got the gist anyway.
What a dull world this is.
Baby Pierre laughs.
So do the Dirties.
All right, says Lavender. Do your mating dance. But no mating.
The maratus laughs now.
What sort of female is she?
In the palm of Gaius's hand he starts swaying.
Da-daah! He raises his abdomen and opens his flaps.
Revealing a circular union jack pattern, red white and blue. Electric!
He raises his third pair of legs and waves them at Lavender.
He vibrates his abdomen and dances from side to side.
Baby Pierre has never seen anything so suggestive.
He looks over at Lavender.
Hard to tell what she's thinking.
But he guesses she's closing her eyes.
If only I had a camera, thinks Gaius. I could film this.
Then he remembers that he has a smart phone in his pocket.
But.... he has his hands full.
In one hand: Lavender and the dancing maratus cristatus.
Can't disturb them.
In the other, Baby Pierre and the Dirties.
They will not mind.
He drops them into his left trouser pocket, and feels in his shirt pocket, for the phone.
Good. He's found it. But now.... Drat. Fumble fumble. How do the young people work these devices one handed?
I wonder, says Gaius, if you might hold the rest of your mating dance until we get back to the campsite.
But the maratus cristatus isn't listening. He is alert for only one thing. Is Lavender excited, or is she about to attack him?
Stop dancing, says Lavender. I've got the gist anyway.
No one says that, says the maratus.
But you must remember that Lavender is not the same species as you are, says Gaius. She will neither mate with you, nor attack, kill and eat you.
What is going on? The maratus stops dancing. Lavender has got the gist anyway.
What a dull world this is.
Thursday, May 9, 2019
I Might Not Be Playing
Now, says Gaius, I shall return to the campsite. Who else is coming?
Me, says Baby Pierre. I've done enough for one morning.
Me, says Lavender. And my spider. No wait. I'll ask him. Are you coming?
You know I am, says the maratus cristatus.
Of course I know, says Lavender. That was just politeness.
Politeness? says the maratus. So is that like when you ask someone something and you already know the answer?
Not always, says Lavender. Sometimes you don't know the answer. It's still a politeness.
Ask me something else, says the maratus.
Okay, says Lavender. Would you like to play I spy on the way to the camp site?
No, says the maratus. But thank you for asking. Now it's my turn.
You have to ask me if it's my turn, says Lavender. I might not be playing.
He doesn't, says Baby Pierre. Turns are for fairness, not politeness.
You be quiet, says Lavender. I thought you had a headache.
I do, says Baby Pierre. Thanks for not asking.
That was asking, says Lavender.
It wasn't, says Baby Pierre. It was telling.
You're in a bad mood, says Lavender.
Shall I start walking? says Gaius. I've arranged to meet a fellow camper back at the campsite. He's working on Project Maratus.
You haven't asked us if we're coming, says First Dirty.
No, you haven't, says Second Dirty. What happened to politeness?
It was a general question, says Gaius. Speak now if you want to stay here. Or perhaps make your own way back to the camp site.
Otherwise? says First Dirty.
Otherwise, I shall start walking, says Gaius.
He has already started walking.
My turn, says the maratus cristatus.
Do you know how to play? asks Lavender.
Play what? asks the maratus.
I spy, says Lavender.
I said no to I spy, says the maratus.
What then? asks Lavender.
My turn to ask you something, says the maratus.
To which she doesn't know the answer, says Baby Pierre.
For politeness, says the maratus.
Okay, says Lavender. Ask. But I probably will know the answer.
Here goes, says the maratus cristatus. Would you like me to do my mating dance for you?
Jumping Jupiter! says Gaius. Say yes, Lavender.
But Lavender thinks: Mating dance? Is this a trick question?
She does not know the answer.
Me, says Baby Pierre. I've done enough for one morning.
Me, says Lavender. And my spider. No wait. I'll ask him. Are you coming?
You know I am, says the maratus cristatus.
Of course I know, says Lavender. That was just politeness.
Politeness? says the maratus. So is that like when you ask someone something and you already know the answer?
Not always, says Lavender. Sometimes you don't know the answer. It's still a politeness.
Ask me something else, says the maratus.
Okay, says Lavender. Would you like to play I spy on the way to the camp site?
No, says the maratus. But thank you for asking. Now it's my turn.
You have to ask me if it's my turn, says Lavender. I might not be playing.
He doesn't, says Baby Pierre. Turns are for fairness, not politeness.
You be quiet, says Lavender. I thought you had a headache.
I do, says Baby Pierre. Thanks for not asking.
That was asking, says Lavender.
It wasn't, says Baby Pierre. It was telling.
You're in a bad mood, says Lavender.
Shall I start walking? says Gaius. I've arranged to meet a fellow camper back at the campsite. He's working on Project Maratus.
You haven't asked us if we're coming, says First Dirty.
No, you haven't, says Second Dirty. What happened to politeness?
It was a general question, says Gaius. Speak now if you want to stay here. Or perhaps make your own way back to the camp site.
Otherwise? says First Dirty.
Otherwise, I shall start walking, says Gaius.
He has already started walking.
My turn, says the maratus cristatus.
Do you know how to play? asks Lavender.
Play what? asks the maratus.
I spy, says Lavender.
I said no to I spy, says the maratus.
What then? asks Lavender.
My turn to ask you something, says the maratus.
To which she doesn't know the answer, says Baby Pierre.
For politeness, says the maratus.
Okay, says Lavender. Ask. But I probably will know the answer.
Here goes, says the maratus cristatus. Would you like me to do my mating dance for you?
Jumping Jupiter! says Gaius. Say yes, Lavender.
But Lavender thinks: Mating dance? Is this a trick question?
She does not know the answer.
Wednesday, May 8, 2019
True And Inevitable
Well done, Baby Pierre, says Gaius. You have captured a maratus cristatus.
And well done me, says Lavender.
Yes, says Gaius. A great team effort.
Was that a girl's voice? asks the maratus cristatus.
Don't ask me, says Baby Pierre. I've got a headache.
No wonder, says Gaius. Let me relieve you.
He lifts the maratus cristatus from Baby Pierre's head.
Now the maratus cristatus has a higher viewpoint.
Aaah. The world is bigger than he expected.
But this is no time for comparisons. He has been promised a cousin.
A girl one, with white stripes, who can predict the future.
He has just heard a girl's voice. But where did it come from?
Can I see it? asks Lavender.
The girl's voice again. This is lucky.
Of course, says Gaius, transferring Lavender to the hand in which he holds the maratus.
Oowa!
She doesn't have stripes. She can't be the cousin.
Lavender turns on her side to more easily see the maratus.
And he can now see that she is a pebble with a row of diminishing indentations, white and shell-like.
I'm so glad I helped Gaius to find you, says Lavender loudly.
I haven't been found, says the maratus cristatus. I was at home in my reed hole. I came out. I met a pebble who convinced me that I had a cousin. I guess that it's you.
Well, yes, Baby Pierre is my cousin, says Lavender. What did he say about me?
He said you had no legs, says the maratus cristatus.
As if that was the first thing he said about me! says Lavender. He can talk, anyway!
And he said you had white stripes, says the maratus cristatus. I see he was right about that.
These are not stripes, says Lavender. These are not even me. And nor are no-legs the real me.
That is a most confusing statement, says the maratus.
Not if you know me , says Lavender. I'm a space in the shape of a fossil, above and beyond the hard shell.
The maratus is fascinated by his new cousin.
He ventures the third thing.
And he told me that you know the future.
Ha! says Lavender. At last he admits it. I do.
So what is it? asks the maratus.
Lavender needs to come up with something mysterious, but (most likely) inevitable.
The tin!
Eggs and vanilla, says Lavender.
And well done me, says Lavender.
Yes, says Gaius. A great team effort.
Was that a girl's voice? asks the maratus cristatus.
Don't ask me, says Baby Pierre. I've got a headache.
No wonder, says Gaius. Let me relieve you.
He lifts the maratus cristatus from Baby Pierre's head.
Now the maratus cristatus has a higher viewpoint.
Aaah. The world is bigger than he expected.
But this is no time for comparisons. He has been promised a cousin.
A girl one, with white stripes, who can predict the future.
He has just heard a girl's voice. But where did it come from?
Can I see it? asks Lavender.
The girl's voice again. This is lucky.
Of course, says Gaius, transferring Lavender to the hand in which he holds the maratus.
Oowa!
She doesn't have stripes. She can't be the cousin.
Lavender turns on her side to more easily see the maratus.
And he can now see that she is a pebble with a row of diminishing indentations, white and shell-like.
I'm so glad I helped Gaius to find you, says Lavender loudly.
I haven't been found, says the maratus cristatus. I was at home in my reed hole. I came out. I met a pebble who convinced me that I had a cousin. I guess that it's you.
Well, yes, Baby Pierre is my cousin, says Lavender. What did he say about me?
He said you had no legs, says the maratus cristatus.
As if that was the first thing he said about me! says Lavender. He can talk, anyway!
And he said you had white stripes, says the maratus cristatus. I see he was right about that.
These are not stripes, says Lavender. These are not even me. And nor are no-legs the real me.
That is a most confusing statement, says the maratus.
Not if you know me , says Lavender. I'm a space in the shape of a fossil, above and beyond the hard shell.
The maratus is fascinated by his new cousin.
He ventures the third thing.
And he told me that you know the future.
Ha! says Lavender. At last he admits it. I do.
So what is it? asks the maratus.
Lavender needs to come up with something mysterious, but (most likely) inevitable.
The tin!
Eggs and vanilla, says Lavender.
Tuesday, May 7, 2019
A Locomotion Headache
Where is she? asks the maratus.
Good question. Baby Pierre doesn't know.
But we know. Lavender is at the edge of Lake Jasper with the two Dirties.
Gaius squelches through the swamp grass.
He comes to a halt.
Ah! says Gaius. There you are Lavender. I was told you were here by a boy whose father I spoke to.
That boy, says Lavender.
He tells me he saved two of your team members, says Gaius.
Phfrrrt! says Lavender. He threw First Dirty into Lake Jasper in the first place. And then Second Dirty jumped in after him. So it was all that boy's fault.
Be that as it may, says Gaius....
It is, says Lavender. I just told you.
I haven't finished, says Gaius. Be that as it may, it's thanks to the boy that I've found you. Have you had any luck spotting spiders?
Not yet, says Lavender.
And where is Baby Pierre? asks Gaius. Perhaps he's been more successful.
I'm about to be successful, says Lavender.
Of course, says Gaius, But where is he?
I know! says Second Dirty. I was with him when we spotted a spider. I was supposed to fetch you while he stood guard.
Excellent, says Gaius. Lead on, Second Dirty.
Second Dirty tries to remember which way he came here.
He followed a canoe trail. But only half way. Before that he was following his own and Baby Pierre's tracks.
This should be easy.
Follow the canoe trail, says Second Dirty.
That's what I was going to say, says Lavender.
The canoe trail will lead back to the boy's father at the camp site, says Gaius. I followed it myself.
Not all the way, says Second Dirty. Half way, we make a divergence.
THAT'S what I was going to say, says Lavender.
Heh-heh, laughs First Dirty.
You shut up, says Lavender. You've been nothing but a hindrance.
First Dirty makes himself a secret promise, and shuts up.
Gaius picks up Lavender, First and Second Dirty and follows the canoe trail until he meets a divergence, at which point he follows the trail left by Baby Pierre and his team mate.
Gaius is a competent follower of trails. He soon arrives at the reed hole.
But where are Baby Pierre and the maratus cristatus?
They have already set off for the camp site, but they have not got far.
Baby Pierre is having difficulty with his usual mode of locomotion, which is rolling.
This is due to the added complication of trying not to crush the maratus cristatus, who is perched on his head.
So it is slow going, and Gaius soon catches up.
There they are! cries Lavender. I knew I'd be successful.
Gaius kneels down to see the maratus cristatus on Baby Pierre's head better.
Baby Pierre says nothing for the moment. He has a headache.
Good question. Baby Pierre doesn't know.
But we know. Lavender is at the edge of Lake Jasper with the two Dirties.
Gaius squelches through the swamp grass.
He comes to a halt.
Ah! says Gaius. There you are Lavender. I was told you were here by a boy whose father I spoke to.
That boy, says Lavender.
He tells me he saved two of your team members, says Gaius.
Phfrrrt! says Lavender. He threw First Dirty into Lake Jasper in the first place. And then Second Dirty jumped in after him. So it was all that boy's fault.
Be that as it may, says Gaius....
It is, says Lavender. I just told you.
I haven't finished, says Gaius. Be that as it may, it's thanks to the boy that I've found you. Have you had any luck spotting spiders?
Not yet, says Lavender.
And where is Baby Pierre? asks Gaius. Perhaps he's been more successful.
I'm about to be successful, says Lavender.
Of course, says Gaius, But where is he?
I know! says Second Dirty. I was with him when we spotted a spider. I was supposed to fetch you while he stood guard.
Excellent, says Gaius. Lead on, Second Dirty.
Second Dirty tries to remember which way he came here.
He followed a canoe trail. But only half way. Before that he was following his own and Baby Pierre's tracks.
This should be easy.
Follow the canoe trail, says Second Dirty.
That's what I was going to say, says Lavender.
The canoe trail will lead back to the boy's father at the camp site, says Gaius. I followed it myself.
Not all the way, says Second Dirty. Half way, we make a divergence.
THAT'S what I was going to say, says Lavender.
Heh-heh, laughs First Dirty.
You shut up, says Lavender. You've been nothing but a hindrance.
First Dirty makes himself a secret promise, and shuts up.
Gaius picks up Lavender, First and Second Dirty and follows the canoe trail until he meets a divergence, at which point he follows the trail left by Baby Pierre and his team mate.
Gaius is a competent follower of trails. He soon arrives at the reed hole.
But where are Baby Pierre and the maratus cristatus?
They have already set off for the camp site, but they have not got far.
Baby Pierre is having difficulty with his usual mode of locomotion, which is rolling.
This is due to the added complication of trying not to crush the maratus cristatus, who is perched on his head.
So it is slow going, and Gaius soon catches up.
There they are! cries Lavender. I knew I'd be successful.
Gaius kneels down to see the maratus cristatus on Baby Pierre's head better.
Baby Pierre says nothing for the moment. He has a headache.
Monday, May 6, 2019
White Stripes Under
Baby Pierre has been guarding the reed hole for longer than he expected.
The spider, a maratus cristatus, has not come back out.
And Gaius has not arrived to observe it.
Perhaps something has happened to Second Dirty.
Baby Pierre has a fine sense of direction.
Perhaps Second Dirty has not.
But hey-ho. He can afford to wait longer.
He approaches the reed hole.
What is a reed hole?
Is it a reed hole?
What else would you call it?
He is thinking out loud.
The maratus cristatus can hear him.
It peeks out through its round spider eyes.
It's a hole where a reed was, says the maratus cristatus.
So it is a reed hole, says Baby Pierre.
He says it as though they are having a normal conversation.
Although they are not.
What are you here for? asks the maratus cristatus.
Baby Pierre does not feel he should say exactly.
It might frighten the maratus back into its reed hole, before Gaius arrives.
Instead, he answers the larger existential question.
What am I here for? says Baby Pierre. To extend my horizons. To give my own life some meaning.
The maratus cristatus wants a more specific answer.
I mean why are you standing outside my reed hole?
Baby Pierre decides after all to be honest.
Because you're inside it, says Baby Pierre.
Half inside it, says the maratus cristatus.
Would you like to come right out? asks Baby Pierre. Then I could examine your pattern.
Pattern? What's my pattern? asks the maratus cristatus.
Come out. I'll describe it to you, says Baby Pierre.
The maratus cristatus comes out. It's the colourful union jack pattern.
You have red and blue stripes on your abdomen at the head end, and white stripes at the back end, says Baby Pierre.
Sounds cheerful, says the maratus cristatus. Anything else you can tell me?
A red zigzag pattern on your head, says Baby Pierre.
Like you! says the maratus cristatus. Perhaps we are brothers.
My pattern's black, says Baby Pierre. And it's a one-off. Yours probably isn't.
Black, red, one-off, two-off, says the maratus cristatus. All the same to me, brother.
Baby Pierre is about to dispute this when he has a flash of intuition.
Brother, says Baby Pierre. How would you like to meet one of our cousins?
No, thank you, says the maratus. I have many cousins.
Not like this one, says Baby Pierre. She doesn't have legs, but she has white stripes underneath and she says she knows the future.
Three intriguing attributes. He must meet this cousin!
The spider, a maratus cristatus, has not come back out.
And Gaius has not arrived to observe it.
Perhaps something has happened to Second Dirty.
Baby Pierre has a fine sense of direction.
Perhaps Second Dirty has not.
But hey-ho. He can afford to wait longer.
He approaches the reed hole.
What is a reed hole?
Is it a reed hole?
What else would you call it?
He is thinking out loud.
The maratus cristatus can hear him.
It peeks out through its round spider eyes.
It's a hole where a reed was, says the maratus cristatus.
So it is a reed hole, says Baby Pierre.
He says it as though they are having a normal conversation.
Although they are not.
What are you here for? asks the maratus cristatus.
Baby Pierre does not feel he should say exactly.
It might frighten the maratus back into its reed hole, before Gaius arrives.
Instead, he answers the larger existential question.
What am I here for? says Baby Pierre. To extend my horizons. To give my own life some meaning.
The maratus cristatus wants a more specific answer.
I mean why are you standing outside my reed hole?
Baby Pierre decides after all to be honest.
Because you're inside it, says Baby Pierre.
Half inside it, says the maratus cristatus.
Would you like to come right out? asks Baby Pierre. Then I could examine your pattern.
Pattern? What's my pattern? asks the maratus cristatus.
Come out. I'll describe it to you, says Baby Pierre.
The maratus cristatus comes out. It's the colourful union jack pattern.
You have red and blue stripes on your abdomen at the head end, and white stripes at the back end, says Baby Pierre.
Sounds cheerful, says the maratus cristatus. Anything else you can tell me?
A red zigzag pattern on your head, says Baby Pierre.
Like you! says the maratus cristatus. Perhaps we are brothers.
My pattern's black, says Baby Pierre. And it's a one-off. Yours probably isn't.
Black, red, one-off, two-off, says the maratus cristatus. All the same to me, brother.
Baby Pierre is about to dispute this when he has a flash of intuition.
Brother, says Baby Pierre. How would you like to meet one of our cousins?
No, thank you, says the maratus. I have many cousins.
Not like this one, says Baby Pierre. She doesn't have legs, but she has white stripes underneath and she says she knows the future.
Three intriguing attributes. He must meet this cousin!
Sunday, May 5, 2019
S IF YO
The boy has rescued both Dirties.
He drags the canoe up, and drops First Dirty and Second Dirty onto a dry patch where Lavender is waiting.
Thank you, boy.
I'd better take the canoe back, says the boy. Dad doesn't know I've got it.
Okay, says Lavender. We'll stay here and keep looking.
We already found one spider, says Second Dirty. Baby Pierre's guarding it now. I have to find Gaius.
Go on then, says Lavender.
Which way do I go? asks First Dirty.
If you don't know, says Lavender, you'll have to join my team.
That's that then. He doesn't know. He will have to join her team.
First Dirty and I are exploring the edge of Lake Jasper, says Lavender.
And underwater, says First Dirty. I explored there too.
So did I , says Second Dirty.
I was there longer, says First Dirty. I saw a Western Minnow.
Did you ask it about spiders? asks Lavender.
No, says First Dirty. The subject didn't come up.
What did you talk about? asks Lavender.
The enigmatic Salamander, says First Dirty. And the Nightfish.
So you only talked about fish, says Lavender. You're useless.
I would have talked about spiders, says Second Dirty. I would have casually brought up that I'd seen one. But I didn't see any fish.
Lavender sighs. Why did Baby Pierre recruit losers?
Perhaps Mouldy was smarter.
No, he couldn't have been.
.......
Meanwhile Elodie has returned to the campsite.
Where's the Hilux?
Arthur and Sprocket have gone into Pemberton, says Gaius. They'll be back soon, with water and supplies.
That's good, says Elodie. And guess what? I met up with some people working on Project Maratus.
Excellent, says Gaius. Are they camping nearby?
Just over there, says Elodie, pointing.
Gaius stands up and heads off in that direction.
Elodie sits down next to David.
Enjoying it so far?
Yes, says David, but I fear I may have acted precipitately in choosing that van.
What's wrong with it? asks Elodie.
It only sleeps two. And there are three of us. Me, Arthur and Shu.
And three of us in the HiLux, says Elodie. That's even worse. But chill out. We'll sort it.
She stands up and walks over to the camper.
She slides open the door.
Shu is inside, sizing up sleeping arrangements.
This could easily sleep four, says Elodie. Just not longways. Can you sleep with your knees up?
No need, says Shu. I have just found a folded up rooftop tent, with an extendable ladder.
Awesome, says Elodie. I'll help you set it up.
They set it up together, smudging Sprocket's not quite dry paint in the process, revealing three more letters so that now it reads
S IF YO
Which is not in itself offensive.
He drags the canoe up, and drops First Dirty and Second Dirty onto a dry patch where Lavender is waiting.
Thank you, boy.
I'd better take the canoe back, says the boy. Dad doesn't know I've got it.
Okay, says Lavender. We'll stay here and keep looking.
We already found one spider, says Second Dirty. Baby Pierre's guarding it now. I have to find Gaius.
Go on then, says Lavender.
Which way do I go? asks First Dirty.
If you don't know, says Lavender, you'll have to join my team.
That's that then. He doesn't know. He will have to join her team.
First Dirty and I are exploring the edge of Lake Jasper, says Lavender.
And underwater, says First Dirty. I explored there too.
So did I , says Second Dirty.
I was there longer, says First Dirty. I saw a Western Minnow.
Did you ask it about spiders? asks Lavender.
No, says First Dirty. The subject didn't come up.
What did you talk about? asks Lavender.
The enigmatic Salamander, says First Dirty. And the Nightfish.
So you only talked about fish, says Lavender. You're useless.
I would have talked about spiders, says Second Dirty. I would have casually brought up that I'd seen one. But I didn't see any fish.
Lavender sighs. Why did Baby Pierre recruit losers?
Perhaps Mouldy was smarter.
No, he couldn't have been.
.......
Meanwhile Elodie has returned to the campsite.
Where's the Hilux?
Arthur and Sprocket have gone into Pemberton, says Gaius. They'll be back soon, with water and supplies.
That's good, says Elodie. And guess what? I met up with some people working on Project Maratus.
Excellent, says Gaius. Are they camping nearby?
Just over there, says Elodie, pointing.
Gaius stands up and heads off in that direction.
Elodie sits down next to David.
Enjoying it so far?
Yes, says David, but I fear I may have acted precipitately in choosing that van.
What's wrong with it? asks Elodie.
It only sleeps two. And there are three of us. Me, Arthur and Shu.
And three of us in the HiLux, says Elodie. That's even worse. But chill out. We'll sort it.
She stands up and walks over to the camper.
She slides open the door.
Shu is inside, sizing up sleeping arrangements.
This could easily sleep four, says Elodie. Just not longways. Can you sleep with your knees up?
No need, says Shu. I have just found a folded up rooftop tent, with an extendable ladder.
Awesome, says Elodie. I'll help you set it up.
They set it up together, smudging Sprocket's not quite dry paint in the process, revealing three more letters so that now it reads
S IF YO
Which is not in itself offensive.
Saturday, May 4, 2019
Canoe-Prints
Baby Pierre and Second Dirty have gone off in the other direction.
Away from Lake Jasper.
Don't worry, says Baby Pierre. It's a better direction.
Why? asks Second Dirty.
Because spiders don't live under water, says Baby Pierre.
Good thinking, says Second Dirty.
Keep your eyes peeled, says Baby Pierre.
I am, says Second Dirty. What do I do if I see one?
Tell me, says Baby Pierre.
What will you do? asks Second Dirty.
Catch it, says Baby Pierre.
A boy comes towards them, dragging a canoe through the shrub swamp, towards Lake Jasper.
It's the same boy. With the same dad's canoe.
The boy goes straight past them.
What do they look like? asks Second Dirty.
All different, says Baby Pierre. One might have a white crown. One might have red lines. One might have a union jack pattern. And they're all the size of a rice grain.
Second Dirty looks harder. They will be hard to spot if they're the size of a rice grain.
Baby Pierre thinks he sees one.
Look! Look over there!
He rolls over to the spot where the tiny maratus cristatus spider is hunting.
Hah! says Baby Pierre.
This frightens the spider, and it runs away into a reed hole.
Sheesh! says Baby Pierre. It ran into a reed hole.
I'll stand guard, says Second Dirty. You go and get Gaius.
No, I'll stand guard, says Baby Pierre. And you go and get Gaius.
Okay, says Second Dirty.
If only Baby Pierre could see the future.
Second Dirty sets off on his mission. But he has forgotten the way.
That's okay, he will follow their track-prints.
But hey.
The track-prints dissolve into a canoe-prints.
He has no choice now.
I have no choice, thinks Second Dirty. I must follow something.
He follows the canoe-prints, and who should be at the end of the canoe-prints but Lavender?
Lavender! says Second Dirty.
Team leader to you, says Lavender.
Not to me, says Second Dirty. Baby Pierre is my leader. And we've found a spider.
We've had an accident, says Lavender. First Dirty is drowned.
Second Dirty believes her.
His best friend has drowned! Only hours after losing their best friend Mouldy.
Second Dirty does not hesitate.
He jumps into Lake Jasper.
Hey! says Lavender.
Not to Second Dirty, but to the boy who is returning with First Dirty, in his dad's canoe.
Would you mind going out again? asks Lavender.
Away from Lake Jasper.
Don't worry, says Baby Pierre. It's a better direction.
Why? asks Second Dirty.
Because spiders don't live under water, says Baby Pierre.
Good thinking, says Second Dirty.
Keep your eyes peeled, says Baby Pierre.
I am, says Second Dirty. What do I do if I see one?
Tell me, says Baby Pierre.
What will you do? asks Second Dirty.
Catch it, says Baby Pierre.
A boy comes towards them, dragging a canoe through the shrub swamp, towards Lake Jasper.
It's the same boy. With the same dad's canoe.
The boy goes straight past them.
What do they look like? asks Second Dirty.
All different, says Baby Pierre. One might have a white crown. One might have red lines. One might have a union jack pattern. And they're all the size of a rice grain.
Second Dirty looks harder. They will be hard to spot if they're the size of a rice grain.
Baby Pierre thinks he sees one.
Look! Look over there!
He rolls over to the spot where the tiny maratus cristatus spider is hunting.
Hah! says Baby Pierre.
This frightens the spider, and it runs away into a reed hole.
Sheesh! says Baby Pierre. It ran into a reed hole.
I'll stand guard, says Second Dirty. You go and get Gaius.
No, I'll stand guard, says Baby Pierre. And you go and get Gaius.
Okay, says Second Dirty.
If only Baby Pierre could see the future.
Second Dirty sets off on his mission. But he has forgotten the way.
That's okay, he will follow their track-prints.
But hey.
The track-prints dissolve into a canoe-prints.
He has no choice now.
I have no choice, thinks Second Dirty. I must follow something.
He follows the canoe-prints, and who should be at the end of the canoe-prints but Lavender?
Lavender! says Second Dirty.
Team leader to you, says Lavender.
Not to me, says Second Dirty. Baby Pierre is my leader. And we've found a spider.
We've had an accident, says Lavender. First Dirty is drowned.
Second Dirty believes her.
His best friend has drowned! Only hours after losing their best friend Mouldy.
Second Dirty does not hesitate.
He jumps into Lake Jasper.
Hey! says Lavender.
Not to Second Dirty, but to the boy who is returning with First Dirty, in his dad's canoe.
Would you mind going out again? asks Lavender.
Friday, May 3, 2019
Wait In White Water
Maybe we should stick together, says First Dirty.
We are sticking together, says Lavender.
They are making their way to the edge of Lake Jasper.
The ground becomes soft.
I meant all of us, says First Dirty.
No, says Lavender. Then Baby Pierre would think he was the leader.
Maybe he should be the leader, says First Dirty.
No way, says Lavender. He's always the leader. He's got a big head.
We all have, says First Dirty. But he's got the biggest, and he's got that tulip.
Ha ha, laughs Lavender. It isn't a tulip. It's a boring old claw.
The ground is getting even more squelchy.
No time to be thinking of claws.
A boy sploshes past them, leaving deep watery footprints.
Watch out, says Lavender.
I don't care, says the boy. This is the worst holiday ever.
I meant watch out for US, says Lavender. We're on an important mission.
The boy looks down, to see who is talking.
Here we are, says Lavender. Have you seen any colourful spiders?
NO! says the boy.
He is more angry than you would expect, at being asked an innocuous question.
Okay, says Lavender. We'll just keep looking.
Look in there! says the boy, picking up First Dirty, and skimming him into Lake Jasper.
Boing-boing-boing-plop.
What was that for? asks Lavender.
Just because, says the boy. It's only a pebble.
He was my runner, says Lavender. Now it's just me. If I see a spider I'll have to go back and report it and it might get away.
Sorry, says the boy. I saw where your runner landed. Want me to wade in and get him?
Yes, says Lavender. Don't worry, you won't drown. I know the future.
Wait, says the boy. Did you know I was going to throw your runner into Lake Jasper?
Of course not, says Lavender.
Unreliable, thinks the boy.
Wait here, he says. I'll go and get dad's canoe to go out in.
Lavender has to wait there, at the edge of Lake Jasper, while the boy goes to fetch dad's canoe.
Poor First Dirty. He has to wait too.
And he doesn't know dad's canoe is coming.
He lies supine on the floor of Lake Jasper.
One good thing. It's a white water lake, due to a lack of tannic acid, and there is good light dispersion.
This means he is easily visible, and that he can see fish.
We are sticking together, says Lavender.
They are making their way to the edge of Lake Jasper.
The ground becomes soft.
I meant all of us, says First Dirty.
No, says Lavender. Then Baby Pierre would think he was the leader.
Maybe he should be the leader, says First Dirty.
No way, says Lavender. He's always the leader. He's got a big head.
We all have, says First Dirty. But he's got the biggest, and he's got that tulip.
Ha ha, laughs Lavender. It isn't a tulip. It's a boring old claw.
The ground is getting even more squelchy.
No time to be thinking of claws.
A boy sploshes past them, leaving deep watery footprints.
Watch out, says Lavender.
I don't care, says the boy. This is the worst holiday ever.
I meant watch out for US, says Lavender. We're on an important mission.
The boy looks down, to see who is talking.
Here we are, says Lavender. Have you seen any colourful spiders?
NO! says the boy.
He is more angry than you would expect, at being asked an innocuous question.
Okay, says Lavender. We'll just keep looking.
Look in there! says the boy, picking up First Dirty, and skimming him into Lake Jasper.
Boing-boing-boing-plop.
What was that for? asks Lavender.
Just because, says the boy. It's only a pebble.
He was my runner, says Lavender. Now it's just me. If I see a spider I'll have to go back and report it and it might get away.
Sorry, says the boy. I saw where your runner landed. Want me to wade in and get him?
Yes, says Lavender. Don't worry, you won't drown. I know the future.
Wait, says the boy. Did you know I was going to throw your runner into Lake Jasper?
Of course not, says Lavender.
Unreliable, thinks the boy.
Wait here, he says. I'll go and get dad's canoe to go out in.
Lavender has to wait there, at the edge of Lake Jasper, while the boy goes to fetch dad's canoe.
Poor First Dirty. He has to wait too.
And he doesn't know dad's canoe is coming.
He lies supine on the floor of Lake Jasper.
One good thing. It's a white water lake, due to a lack of tannic acid, and there is good light dispersion.
This means he is easily visible, and that he can see fish.
Thursday, May 2, 2019
The Pendulous Paintbrush
Shu sits down and helps himself to the Gouda.
I thought you were fetching the tin, says David.
So I was, says Shu, but I saw Sprocket and Arthur painting the back of the camper. Is that allowed?
Yes, says David. They are covering a rude message.
But we don't own the van, says Shu.
Too bad, says David. The message must go.
Indeed it must, says Gaius. I'll go and see how they're doing. And look for the missing page one in the van while I'm there.
I don't think we brought it, says Shu. It was too bloody.
There were other papers in Arthur's back pack, says Gaius. I remain hopeful.
He gets up and goes across to the van.
Sprocket is painting over the offensive letters with a pendulous paintbrush.
That looks more difficult than it need be, says Gaius. What are you using for a paintbrush?
Some of that stuff, says Sprocket, waving towards a wide clump of sedge.
I see, says Gaius. Sedge. And how is it going?
Slow, says Sprocket. But I've nearly finished. Arthur reckons I should leave one word showing.
Interesting, says Gaius Which word is it?
IF, says Sprocket.
Arthur is a genius, says Gaius. IF, with gold paint surrounds. Perhaps you could also add a spider.
This paintbrush wouldn't stretch to a spider, says Sprocket.
I suppose not, says Gaius. Pity.
He goes round to the side of the van, where Arthur is taking out his back pack.
I don't suppose you've found that page one? says Gaius.
Arthur pulls out a few more sheets of paper.
These are all yours.
Gaius looks through them. One is a photograph of Daniel O'Connell, the famous transparent spider he discovered in the sulphurous underground cave in Romania.
Sprocket! says Gaius. Come here!
Sprocket comes round to the side of the van. Gaius shows him the photo.
Perhaps you can make use of this in your artwork.
No worries, says Sprocket. He takes the photo and goes back to the rear of the van to finish his painting.
Get us OUT! shouts Lavender, from the tin. We want to get started!
Of course you do, says Gaius, lifting the tin.
We've already got a team leader, says Lavender.
Two team leaders, says Baby Pierre.
All right, two team leaders, says Lavender.
I like your keen attitude, says Gaius.
So put us DOWN, says Lavender. We want to start looking.
Gaius has now reached the poncho. He puts the tin down.
He lifts out Lavender, Baby Pierre, First Dirty and Second Dirty.
Right, says Lavender. First Dirty comes with me. We'll go that way. Second Dirty goes with Baby Pierre. They can go the other way.
But says Second Dirty, there are more than two ways. What if....?
No, says Lavender. You don't know anything. We'll do two ways at a time, with two in each team, one to lead and one to run back and report if we find a maratus.
Come on, says Baby Pierre to Second Dirty.
He doesn't like this. One leader is better than two leaders. And why does SHE get First Dirty?
I thought you were fetching the tin, says David.
So I was, says Shu, but I saw Sprocket and Arthur painting the back of the camper. Is that allowed?
Yes, says David. They are covering a rude message.
But we don't own the van, says Shu.
Too bad, says David. The message must go.
Indeed it must, says Gaius. I'll go and see how they're doing. And look for the missing page one in the van while I'm there.
I don't think we brought it, says Shu. It was too bloody.
There were other papers in Arthur's back pack, says Gaius. I remain hopeful.
He gets up and goes across to the van.
Sprocket is painting over the offensive letters with a pendulous paintbrush.
That looks more difficult than it need be, says Gaius. What are you using for a paintbrush?
Some of that stuff, says Sprocket, waving towards a wide clump of sedge.
I see, says Gaius. Sedge. And how is it going?
Slow, says Sprocket. But I've nearly finished. Arthur reckons I should leave one word showing.
Interesting, says Gaius Which word is it?
IF, says Sprocket.
Arthur is a genius, says Gaius. IF, with gold paint surrounds. Perhaps you could also add a spider.
This paintbrush wouldn't stretch to a spider, says Sprocket.
I suppose not, says Gaius. Pity.
He goes round to the side of the van, where Arthur is taking out his back pack.
I don't suppose you've found that page one? says Gaius.
Arthur pulls out a few more sheets of paper.
These are all yours.
Gaius looks through them. One is a photograph of Daniel O'Connell, the famous transparent spider he discovered in the sulphurous underground cave in Romania.
Sprocket! says Gaius. Come here!
Sprocket comes round to the side of the van. Gaius shows him the photo.
Perhaps you can make use of this in your artwork.
No worries, says Sprocket. He takes the photo and goes back to the rear of the van to finish his painting.
Get us OUT! shouts Lavender, from the tin. We want to get started!
Of course you do, says Gaius, lifting the tin.
We've already got a team leader, says Lavender.
Two team leaders, says Baby Pierre.
All right, two team leaders, says Lavender.
I like your keen attitude, says Gaius.
So put us DOWN, says Lavender. We want to start looking.
Gaius has now reached the poncho. He puts the tin down.
He lifts out Lavender, Baby Pierre, First Dirty and Second Dirty.
Right, says Lavender. First Dirty comes with me. We'll go that way. Second Dirty goes with Baby Pierre. They can go the other way.
But says Second Dirty, there are more than two ways. What if....?
No, says Lavender. You don't know anything. We'll do two ways at a time, with two in each team, one to lead and one to run back and report if we find a maratus.
Come on, says Baby Pierre to Second Dirty.
He doesn't like this. One leader is better than two leaders. And why does SHE get First Dirty?
Wednesday, May 1, 2019
I Shall Not Repeat It.
What's that for? asks Sprocket, eyeing the knife.
Cutting the cheese, says Arthur.
Phew, says Sprocket. And I thought you were going to kill me.
Why would I? asks Arthur.
Evidence, says Sprocket. Want me to delete it?
No, says Arthur. You recorded the death of a spider. Let's see.
Sprocket shows Arthur the video he made of Arthur dismembering the spider.
First there is the spider. A colourful little fellow. It's not in a hurry. Perhaps it smells cheese.
Then there is Arthur's hand brushing the spider away from the poncho, before sitting down.
Then there is the spider again, in three parts.
A telling sequence.
Thing is, says Sprocket, we're here to look for spiders , and you've just squished one.
What's this? asks Gaius. Has someone found a spider?
Yes, Arthur has, says David. He appears to have squished it.
Never mind, says Gaius. Let's see the damage.
He looks at the three spider parts.
Notes? says Gaius.
In the camper, says Arthur.
Gaius heads for the camper.
It's the first time he's paid it attention.
A Wicked Camper, with a misogynistic message.
I shall not repeat it.
I say, David, says Gaius. Did you choose this particular camper?
No, why? asks David.
Do you know what it says on the back?
No, what?
Gaius gives him the gist.
How embarrassing, says David.
You're in luck, says Gaius. Sprocket has a tin of gold paint.
Yeah, cool, says Sprocket. I'll paint over it.
I'll help you, says Arthur.
They head for the camper.
Gaius looks at the notes which he found in Arthur's back pack, from which page one is missing.
Notes and drawings of maratus aquilus, maratus felinus and maratus combustus. Notes and drawings of maratus unicup and maratus tortus.
He compares them with the three parts of the spider whose life Arthur interrupted.
Not a maratus? asks David.
No, says Gaius. As we see from these drawings. Not a maratus.
Nevertheless, an entity.... says David (the philosopher).
Indeed, an arachnoid entity.... says Gaius (the natural historian).
He picks up the knife Arthur left on the poncho, and cuts two large slices of Gouda.
They eat them companionably..
A slight breeze blows the spider parts away.
Cutting the cheese, says Arthur.
Phew, says Sprocket. And I thought you were going to kill me.
Why would I? asks Arthur.
Evidence, says Sprocket. Want me to delete it?
No, says Arthur. You recorded the death of a spider. Let's see.
Sprocket shows Arthur the video he made of Arthur dismembering the spider.
First there is the spider. A colourful little fellow. It's not in a hurry. Perhaps it smells cheese.
Then there is Arthur's hand brushing the spider away from the poncho, before sitting down.
Then there is the spider again, in three parts.
A telling sequence.
Thing is, says Sprocket, we're here to look for spiders , and you've just squished one.
What's this? asks Gaius. Has someone found a spider?
Yes, Arthur has, says David. He appears to have squished it.
Never mind, says Gaius. Let's see the damage.
He looks at the three spider parts.
Notes? says Gaius.
In the camper, says Arthur.
Gaius heads for the camper.
It's the first time he's paid it attention.
A Wicked Camper, with a misogynistic message.
I shall not repeat it.
I say, David, says Gaius. Did you choose this particular camper?
No, why? asks David.
Do you know what it says on the back?
No, what?
Gaius gives him the gist.
How embarrassing, says David.
You're in luck, says Gaius. Sprocket has a tin of gold paint.
Yeah, cool, says Sprocket. I'll paint over it.
I'll help you, says Arthur.
They head for the camper.
Gaius looks at the notes which he found in Arthur's back pack, from which page one is missing.
Notes and drawings of maratus aquilus, maratus felinus and maratus combustus. Notes and drawings of maratus unicup and maratus tortus.
He compares them with the three parts of the spider whose life Arthur interrupted.
Not a maratus? asks David.
No, says Gaius. As we see from these drawings. Not a maratus.
Nevertheless, an entity.... says David (the philosopher).
Indeed, an arachnoid entity.... says Gaius (the natural historian).
He picks up the knife Arthur left on the poncho, and cuts two large slices of Gouda.
They eat them companionably..
A slight breeze blows the spider parts away.
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