Mole Or Two Dot

Gaius rummages through his notes.

There it is. Portland University, Oregon. Dorothy.

He calls the university.

Of course they won't give out her number.

But they will pass on a message.

Thank you, says Gaius. I am a natural historian currently working in the southern hemisphere ... err...hum....may as well talk myself up.... I am in fact Gaius Plinius Secundus, natural historian and oft-quoted writer. It's about her study of sand crabs and how microplastics affect their mortality. I've been trying to reproduce it, and would appreciate her advice re certain problems....

That's a long message, sir, says the person who answers the university's phone. I'll pass it on to her. Just leave your number.

Gaius leaves his number.

Now what? says Kierkegaard.

We wait, says Gaius.

How long for? asks Terence.

Yes, how long for? asks Alexander-Red-Hook.

Are you trying to be a parrot? asks Terence.

No, just asking, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

YES! says Terence. That's what parrots do. They ask questions, and fly in the front.

I may need a balloon for the last thing, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

You may not, says Gaius. The experiment may well continue.

Ring Ring! It's Gaius's ringtone. Will it be Dorothy?

Hello, says Gaius. This is Gaius.

Hi there, says Dorothy. I mean, hello, Mr Secundus. I feel I know so much about you. You're kind of an icon.

Am I? says Gaius. Kind of you to say so.

How can I help you? asks Dorothy.

Did you get my full message? asks Gaius.

You're trying to reproduce my findings, and having certain problems. What are they?

Of six crabs, four have already died, says Gaius.

That seems normal, says Dorothy.

Of unnatural causes, says Gaius. Except perhaps one.

You only had six? says Dorthy. Why so few? Aren't they plentiful where you are?

I only had room for six, says Gaius. Two were in breakfast bowls, and four were in salad bowls. Wait, no. One was stepped on before he got in.

But sand crabs are so tiny, says Dorothy. I studied them in multiples. A salad bowl each seems...well...., like overdoing it.

Not that tiny, says Gaius.

Yes, really tiny, says Dorothy.

A moment of silence while Dorothy thinks.

Are we talking of emerita analoga? says Dorothy. The mole crab?

No, says Gaius. Ovalipes australiensis, the two dot crab.

Well then, says Dorothy. No wonder.

Indeed. No wonder, says Gaius. Well thank you, Dorothy. You have been most helpful.

Have I? says Dorothy. I mean, you're welcome. Enjoy the rest of your day.