Old Knee Bleeds

Victor waits for Arthur to come out of the sea.

Here he comes now, with dead Curly. Blood trickles down from his knee.

Injured yourself? asks Victor.

The usual, says Arthur. It dried when I ran the potato race, but it got wet again just now.

Victor loses interest.

There are more pressing concerns than old knee bleeds.

Two things, says Victor.

One thing, says Arthur.

Victor is taken aback.

You don't contradict a policeman.

TWO things, says Victor. One: how do you intend to dispose of this crab?

Bin it, says Arthur.

Not in Middleton, says Victor.

Okay, says Arthur. If not here, where?

Henley, says Victor. I have reason to believe that's where it came from.

Fine, says Arthur. But I'll be here till the end of the week.

Have you a suitable container? asks Victor.

No, says Arthur. Ask Gaius.

I shall, says Victor. But first, where is my pen?

Where's my poem? counters Arthur.

Here in my notebook, where it's staying until I regain my pen, says Victor.

I must've lost it, says Arthur. Sorry.

Victor gives up, or appears to.

He heads back to Gaius, who has picked up the salad bowl containing Alexander-Groovy.

Where are you off to with that? asks Victor.

Back to Lauren's, says Gaius. I promised to reattach his claw with some fish glue.

I remember your fish glue, says Victor. It stinks.

Lucky Alexander-Groovy isn't listening.

He is miles away, imagining a rosy future.

The rosy future: He has his old claw back. He is whole. Alexander-Red-Hook, feeling lonely, approaches him for comfort. He encircles her fondly and surreptitiously inserts.....

We'll leave it there. And it's NOT going to happen.

I'll accompany you, says Victor. I have two questions.

Ask away, says Gaius.

In what do you intend to place the dead crab, while it's being transported to Henley?

I had not thought. Newspaper?

No, says Victor. Try again.

A biodegradable bag, says Gaius. Lauren will have one.

I could be pedantic, says Victor.

Go on, says Gaius.

Strictly speaking, it should be a bio-bag from Henley, says Victor. Not Middleton.

That IS pedantic, says Gaius.

I know, says Victor. By the way, where is my pen?