Where's Your Family?

 You okay? asks Louisa, catching up.

Sure, says Arthur. 

Wishing you were in France? asks Louisa.

Only if it was last year, says Arthur. 

How's Sweezus going? asks Louisa.

Crashed twice, says Arthur. 

Hah, says Louisa, hoping it sounds like whatever Arthur is expecting.

What kind of tyres is he using? asks Louisa.

How do I know? says Arthur. 

Alaphilippe won stage two on tubed clinchers, says Louisa. 

Are you following it? asks Arthur.

Course I am, says Louisa.

They ride on in silence.

A family of Glossy Black Cockatoos watches them from the branch of a sheoak.

.......

Sweezus feels better after crashing.

Vello is more sympathetic.

Here, says Vello. Let me take a few of those snacks. David you take some too. And your drink bottle.

Thanks boss, says Sweezus. Lucky I fell on on the same injury. No new ones.

Good man, says Vello. Carry on. How about leading us out?

Sweezus speeds up.

He draws level with Richie.

Hey Richie, says Sweezus.

Hey Sweez, says Richie. Sorry I didn't talk to you yesterday. 

No worries, says Sweezus. How ya doin?

Good, says Richie. Thought I'd better come,. No Froomey or Thomas this year.

Yeah, that's good, says Sweezus. What else is new?

Second child on the way, says Richie. I'm going to miss it.

That's a bugger, says Sweezus. 

Yep, says Richie, speeding away.

Sweezus thinks about Terence. What's he doing now? Who's he with? Yeah, Gaius.

......

Terence is not with Gaius. He is at the playground, with Perrot and family.

Perrot wants to move on.

Where's your family? asks Perrot.

On a palace, says Terence.

Ha ha laughs Claudine. You can't be on a palace.

I'm not, says Terence. But they are, unless there was a bomb.

What's this nonsense? says Perrot. Who brought you to Kangaroo Island?

Gaius and Arthur, says Terence. And Louisa. And Saint Roley.

Where are they? asks Perrot. And who is Saint Roley?

My parrot, says Terence. 

He's down at the shore, says Alfonse, who knows about parrots.

Terence has explained all about them.

Sun-Warmed Orange Lichen

 Saint Roley flies back to the playground. Is Terence all right?

Yes, he is playing with Claudine and Alfonse, Perrot's children.

One by one they shoot out from the bottom of the tube slide.

Plop! Out pops Alphonse.

Plop! Out pops Terence.

Plop! Out pops Claudine.

Saint Roley decides to take a break from his self-imposed responsibilities. 

He flies down to the shore and starts looking for molluscs.

Way down at the other end of the bay, Gaius is inspecting a fossil. 

Porntip pokes at the sun-warmed orange lichen.

Yes. This is happiness.

Further down the road, heading for the burnt regions, is Arthur.

Some distance behind him is Louisa.

Giving him some space.

Arthur is imagining various scenarios.

One: Sweezus has crashed and broken a clavicle. 

Two: Arthur flies to Nice. 

Three: Arthur replaces Sweezus in the team. No one is any the wiser.

Arthur decides that although this would teach everyone a lesson it's not worth the effort.

His phone rings again.

Sorry bro, says Sweezus. Fell off my bike.

Thought so, says Arthur. Break anything?

No way, says Sweezus. And the bike's good, which is lucky. Boss paid for it.

Vello? says Arthur. How come?

I'm riding for Team Philosophe, says Sweezus. Yeah I know, bummer.

Who else is in Team Philosophe? asks Arthur.

Just me, David and Vello, says Sweezus. Imagine being in a Team Bubble with them.

What do they talk about? asks Arthur.

Who'll do the freakin' picnic on rest day, says Sweezus. Belle isn't here.

Merde! says Arthur. Who fills your musettes?

No one, says Sweezus. It's shithouse. We have to carry .......ARGHHH!

It seems he has fallen off his bike a second time.

Let's hope he's okay.

At least Arthur feels better.

Riding Like Maniacs

 Arthur appears not to care because he hasn't yet heard about Sweezus.

Arthur and Louisa therefore ride towards the burnt regions, oblivious.

Until.

Arthur receives a phone call.

It's from Sweezus.

Hey bro! says Sweezus. 

Hey! says Arthur. Where are you?

Yeah...well, says Sweezus. I'm in Nice. It's batshit crazy.

Nice? says Arthur. Nice in France?

Yeah Nice in France, says Sweezus. And I wish I wasn't.

How come? asks Arthur.

What day is it? asks Sweezus.

Could be any day, says Arthur. I'm on KI, checking out the burnt regions.

Cool, says Sweezus. Mind if I call you sporadically?

Sure, says Arthur. What about?

Everything, says Sweezus. Like it's raining, and the roads are like ice rinks, and everyone's riding like maniacs, and..... AARRRGH! 

The calls ends.

What was that about? asks Louisa.

He probably crashed, says Arthur.

Who? asks Louisa. 

Sweezus, says Arthur. He's riding in the Tour de France.

I thought you two always went together, says Louisa.

So did I, says Arthur, stopping 

He gets off his bike.

Louisa stops too. What's Arthur doing?

Nothing. Just having a moment.

If he was already in the burnt regions, and near a tree that was sprouting new foliage, at ground level, as they do, Arthur would kick it.

Team Bubble

 Saint Roley lands beside Gaius.

Did you find Terence? asks Gaius. 

Yes, at the playground, says Saint  Roley. He gave me some news.

What's that? asks Gaius, thinking it will be about orange peel or turnips.

The Tour de France, says Saint Roley. It's starting!

Dear me, when? asks Gaius. 

Now, says Saint Roley. 

I'll call Vello, says Gaius. I'll see what he wants me to do. Perhaps you could alert Arthur.

Saint Roley flies off to find Arthur.

Gaius calls Vello.

Vello! Hello!

Hello Gaius, says Vello. You do realise what time it is?

Yes, of course I do, says Gaius. Afternoon. I'm just calling to see if you knew the Tour de France was on.

Naturally, says Vello. That's why I'm in Nice, trying to get a good night's sleep, before the big day tomorrow..

But how did you get there with all the travel restrictions and so on? asks Gaius.

Exemption, says Vello. Due to being a French icon. And I wangled one for David because he's also beloved by the French. 

You don't say, says  Gaius. So, Team Philosophe has just two team members. It hardly seems worth it

Ahem, coughs Vello. I've got Sweezus as well. 

Hum, says Gaius. He's neither French nor a philosopher. You could have asked me. I have my own iconic status. Well good luck. Enjoy yourselves. I'll try and keep up with what happens, but I should warn you I'm busy.

It's not all joy here, says Vello. We have to wear masks, there's no food room, endless forms to fill in and they keep sticking things up our noses. Be glad you're not here. It's no picnic being in a Team Bubble with Sweezus. 

Bon chance, says Gaius, ending the call abruptly.

Meanwhile Saint Roley has caught up with Arthur and told him the news.

The Tour de France is starting.

But Arthur appears not to care.

In The Red Zone

 There's nothing wrong with a Toyota Hi-Lux per se.

It's the person inside you don't know.

Want a lift? asks the person.

I'm going to the playground, says Terence.

Hop in then, says the person.

Terence complies.

The person turns out to be on his way to the playground.

His name is Perrot.

Perrot turns up the music.

Dah-dah da dad-dad-dad-dah! The music stops. Time for the news.

The news, says Perrot. May as well listen.

Nice has been declared a covid 19 red zone, says the announcer. There will be blackout panels at the Tour de France starts and finishes, and crowds will be limited on the climbs.

Hear that? asks Perrot.

Yes, says Terence. I usually go. 

No kidding, says Perrot. You look young for a traveller.

I am, says Terence. The clowns always try to kidnap me.

They won't this year, says Perrot.

They arrive at the playground. Terence and Perrot get out. 

What a good playground. A dual platform unit with open sides, a tube slide, and a dolphin-shaped springer.

There are my kids, says Perrot. 

Saint Roley plops down beside Terence.

Terence! I was alarmed when you got into that Toyota Hi Lux.

I needed a lift, says Terence.

You might have got more than you bargained for, says Saint Roley.

I did, says Terence. The NEWS. And guess what?

What? asks Saint Roley.

Blackout panels to stop clowns! says Terence.

What? Where? asks Saint Roley, 

In the red zone, says Terence. On the NEWS. 

Saint Roley is none the wiser. Red zone. Blackout panels. Clowns. He needs to know more.

He flies across to Perrot who is springing his daughter on the dolphin springer.

Boing-creak-boing!

You're too big for this, Claudine!

Excuse me, says Saint Roley, but I heard there was news about a red zone and blackout panels? 

It's in Nice, says Perrot. Not here. No need to worry. Tour de France stuff. It's starting tomorrow. Hey!

Saint Roley has flown off in a hurry.

The Tour de France starts tomorrow! And Gaius and Arthur are here!

Uh-Oh!

 Louisa is not unreliable.

She can't leave without telling Gaius, who is poking about in the distance.

And this is no good! Terence is heading off in a westerly direction.

But Arthur is already on his bike.

Wait, Arthur! calls Louisa.

Okay, says Arthur.

That was easy. Louisa runs over to Gaius.

Arthur and I are going to ride on ahead. Catch up with us when you're ready.

Excellent, says Gaius. Porntip and I have discovered a crop of redlichia.

Great! says Louisa. I remember the last time you were here, you were looking for redlichia.

Indeed, says Gaius. I was investigating a possible relation to the ediacaran biota.

So, you keep on doing that, says Louisa. We'll push on to the burnt regions. 

Remember to look out for Glossy Black Cockatoos when you get there, says Gaius. Note their numbers.

Sure, says Louisa. By the way, Terence is staying with you. He wants to.

Where is Terence? asks Gaius, looking around.

Heading down to the western end of the Bay, says Louisa. Towards the playground. I thought I'd better tell you, before he disappears out of sight.

Of course, says Gaius. Thank you. Hum. Someone ought to go with him.

Send Roley, says Porntip. He's not busy.

Who? says Gaius. Oh, Saint Roley. Where is he?

No need to ask. The back end of Saint Roley can be seen heading westward already.

Terence is slowing. The beach is four kilometres long.

He decides to flag down the next car.

A car is approaching, behind him. Terence waves his longest piece of orange peel.

The car stops.

Uh-oh! It's a Toyota Hi-Lux!

What A Face

 Kierkegaard has not yet got out of the car.

Come and sit on the sand, says Angelina. Or should we explore the sand dunes?

The sand dunes, says Kierkegaard. 

First let's say hello to Arthur, says Angelina. He's down there at the rocky end.

Kierkegaard can see him, sitting next to Louisa. 

And there's Gaius, poking about in the shale. 

And Terence, nearby, rock hopping.

All right, says Kierkegaard. A quick hello, then the sand dunes.

Sure, says Angelina.

Hello Arthur, says Angelina. Enjoying Emu Bay?

We both are, says Louisa. And so's Gaius. 

How's his indigestion? asks Angelina.

Fine, says Louisa.

Terence runs up.

Where are my peelings?

Louisa had put the orange peel into the orange bag, with the rest of the oranges.

She pulls some peel out.

Yay! says Terence. Are these ones with feelings?

I told you they wouldn't have feelings, says Louisa.

You said peelings with feelings, says Terence. 

I said NOT peelings with feelings, says Louisa.

But that was a poem, says Terence.

A poem? says Angelina. One of Arthur's?

No, says Arthur. My poems don't rhyme.

You look as though you're thinking one up right now, says Angelina.

So he does, says Kierkegaard. What a face. Hello Arthur. Why are you here and not in the burnt regions?

We stopped off here, says Arthur. 

We may be here longer than we planned, says Louisa. Look at Gaius. He's completely engrossed.

I'm leaving, says Arthur. As soon as Louisa wipes that orange thing off her nose.

Shizz! says Louisa. Is that still there?

You're leaving Gaius and Terence behind? says Angelina. 

YES! says Terence. I'm staying! There's a playground at the end of the beach!

Am I leaving too? asks Louisa.

If you want, says Arthur. They'll catch up later.

Cool! says Louisa.

Arthur stands up.

Should we tell Gaius? asks Louisa.

Terence will, says Arthur. 

He starts walking towards his bicycle.

Louisa follows.

What an unreliable young man Arthur turned out to be, says Angelina. Come, Soren, let's explore the sand hills.

Wait for me, says Terence. I have to pick up my peelings.