Oh The French

The food of evil people is not in itself evil, I said.

It is if it is eaten for evil reasons, said Pliny.

Evil reasons? I said. Who eats food for evil reasons?

Aha, said Pliny. I shall tell you. During the French Revolution the Red Caps ate red food to represent the blood of the aristocrats. Tomatoes were a favourite because the nobility, wisely, did not like them.

Oh, the French, I said.

What do you mean, Oh the French? asked Pliny. You like the French. I see you are reading a French novel at this very moment.

I am, I replied. And that is why I say Oh the French. I'm reading Sentimental Education, by Flaubert.

A favourite of mine, said Pliny. Have you got to the part where he describes the beard?

The beard? It's not even about a beard.

It is about everything that is in it, said Pliny. And in it there is a description of a beard, which I found amusing.

Now you mention it, I do remember two beards. Was it the pointy one, or the one that was cut like a fringe?

It was the one that was cut like a fringe, in order to make its owner seem precociously serious, said Pliny. What a window into an era, he added. You could not make it up.