The Dad Shirt

Over time, Ray Moon has become more and more disenchanted with Sweezus.

But this takes the cake.

Black underpants.

He just can't take those underpants in.

On the other hand, Sweezus IS wearing a spiked crown of tea tree, and bleeding from various wounds.

Ray pulls himself together. What's happened? asks Ray.

Problem, dad, says Unni. The Bristlebirds went ballistic, and they're tied up inside Sweezie's shorts.

Why not his tee shirt? asks Ray.

I let them out of his tee shirt, says Unni. And it's all smelly and dirty. What we need is that red box from the ute. And a spare pair of shorts and a shirt if you've got them.

Not the Stubbies, says Sweezus.

Ray is offended. What's wrong with Stubbies? They're hard wearing and cheap.

Stubbies or nothing, says Ray. But I've got a nice shirt you can borrow. It's a bit long for me.

Sweezus pictures himself in ray's stubbies which are bound to be way too short and ray's long shirt shit fuck and bugger he'll look like he's not wearing any shorts maybe that's not such a bad thing if they're stubbies but he'll look like a prick anyway, in the shirt.......

Ray goes back to the ute to search out the requirements.

Unni looks at Sweezus.

Don't worry, says Unni. It's quite a nice shirt, for a dad-shirt.

What colour is it? asks Sweezus.

Sort of brownish, says Unni.

Katherine thinks Sweezus looks dejected.

As soon as we get back to Nowra, says Katherine, I'll buy you a new pair of board shorts, as a thank you. And a nice tank top.

See, says Unni. You won't have to wear dad's things for long.

Ray comes back with the Stubbies (navy), the shirt (sort of brownish), and the box (red, containing a 3D printed plastic python).

Awesome dad, says Unni. Now we just need to lift the Bristlebirds into the box without scaring them.

The python might scare them, says Katherine.

Not if we keep them wrapped up in the shorts, says Unni. And leave breathing holes.

Why don't we just let them go? asks Ray.

Because they'll kill me, says Sweezus, emerging from behind a hakea, in navy Stubbies and a long brown shirt which he has had the sense not to button up, so he doesn't look too much of a prick, although that is debatable.

Ha-ha, laughs Unni. The sooner we get to Nowra the better.

She lifts up the seething shorts containing the Bristlebirds.

Katherine takes the lid off the red box.

Unni lowers the shorts into the box, placing them directly on top of the 3D plastic python.

The Bristlebirds shriek in horror. A python!

Katherine quickly presses the lid down.

Okay, says Ray. Has it occurred to anyone that this might be criminal, what we're doing? These birds are critically endangered.

Ray, says Sweezus, has it occurred to you that these birds are the lucky ones?