Wein und Sonnenschein

I have another question, said Pliny the Elder. Why did you caption your photos in bad German?

It wasn't meant to be bad German, I replied. I wanted to use German as a tribute to the German settlers and winemakers of the Barossa. But I admit, I don't know very much German.

So that is why you called the album Wien und Sonnenschein! I thought you were referring to a type of sausage.

You mean Wien? As in Wieners? As in hot dogs? No, I thought I was calling it Wine and Sunshine, but of course it should have been spelled Wein.

That's what can happen when you are pretentious. Did you try any of the local wines, by the way?

We did, and most of them were very good.

Were they indeed? Then the Germans have come a long way since I was in Germania as a commander and tribune during our Germanic campaign. Their wines were very basic then. We had only just introduced the vine into their country. Until then, they had been beer drinkers.

Why did you bother?

We didn't like their beer. And we thought we might be there for a very long time. So we thought we might as well try and produce something drinkable. Something strong, that we could mix with honey, resin, chalk, herbs, or salty water......

Mmm. That does sound nice.

Did you bring any wine home with you, by the way?

We did. But we're saving it for Christmas.

Oh. Well, did you bring home any sausage?

No. I'm very sorry. We didn't bring you anything.

Typisch! Nicht Wein, nicht Wiener, nicht Sonnenschein. Danke schön.

Pliny! What does that mean?

I think you know.