Honour And Karma

The beauty of Lake St Clair delights Schopenhauer's senses as he bites into his sandwich.

He no longer fears losing his philosophical direction.

So, says Schopenhauer, addressing C.H.Cook, with whom he is sharing the sandwich. G.E. Nicholls wrote a paper based on the specimens you sent him?

He did, says C.H.Cook. It was reported in full in the Mercury.

But you were credited with your part in the affair, pursues Schopenhauer.

Certainly, says C.H. Cook. There is honour among natural historians.

I heartily concur, agrees Gaius.

Good, good, says Schopenhauer. No doubt there is a corresponding honour among philosophers .

Arthur looks up from his apple.

Arthur, says Schopenhauer. How is Sweezus at writing?

Arthur is about to say: Average.

He's very creative, says Unni, before Arthur can reply.

Creative! says Schopenhauer. That's encouraging. Can you give me an example?

Beyoncé, says Unni. He wrote stuff exactly like it would be if she wrote it. Beyoncé was very appreciative, because she's so busy........

Ah, says Schopenhauer. I don't know Beyoncé. Is she a modern day philosopher?

Yes, says Unni. She invented the saying, If you like it, put a ring on it.

Very sensible, says Gaius. Good advice for all disciplines, but mine in particular.

Schopenhauer has not been entirely convinced by Beyoncé's maxim, but he respects Gaius's opinion.

Arthur, ask Sweezus to give me a call, says Schopenhauer. I have a proposition for him.

I'll do it, says Unni.

Thank you, says Schopenhauer. That's a load off my mind. Ah, what a beautiful setting. Those majestic mountains! Look at that one!

He points to Mount Ida, with its distinctive triangular summit.

You should take the ferry trip, says C.H. Cook. A round trip of the lake. You'll see all the mountains close up.

No time, says Gaius. We must be in Hobart tomorrow.

Ferry trip, says Captain Louttit. I'd like a ferry trip. Let's take a vote on it.

I vote for the ferry trip, says Schopenhauer.

Me too, says Unni.

That's five votes, says Captain Louttit.

Three, says Gaius. Arthur and  I vote against it.

So I get a vote, but the barnacles don't, says Captain Louttit, looking pleased.

Gaius realises too late that he has been outsmarted. Not by maths but by cunning.

Wally and Goose have been listening.

Does that mean we're not going? says Wally.

Yes, says Goose. It means we're not going.

A mountain shrimp has been listening too. He has come to the surface to nibble the choc-coated Vegemite Fudge.

It doesn't mean you're not going, says the mountain shrimp, to Wally. Even if you don't get a vote, it's three to two. You're going.

Woop! says Wally. We're going! Thanks for the heads up.

The mountain shrimp starts to say, You're very welcome, and thanks for the fudge it's delicious...... when a sudden and painful  internal constriction prevents him from completing the sentence.

He stiffens, turns tail up, and floats redundant on the calm surface of Lake St Clair.