The Non-Working Out Of Things That Should Be Simple

Captain Goose and Captain Wally are having their DNA tests when Lisa comes in.

Dave, says Lisa. Don't bother. I've just found out their provenance. They're ordinary surf barnacles from the mainland. The owner just turned up to claim them.

Whee! says Captain Wally, happily.

Captain Goose maintains a dignified silence.

Did you say Whee? asks Lisa.

No, says Dave. It must have been the barnacle when I stuck the needle in him. I'll finish taking the sample anyway.

Okay, says Lisa.

It doesn't take too long.

Here, says Dave, handing her Captain Goose and Captain Wally.

Thanks Dave, says Lisa.

She takes the barnacles back to the foyer, where Gaius and Schopenhauer are waiting.

Here, says Lisa. Have you got anything to put them in? Where's that bag gone?

Arthur took it, says Gaius. It was his. Oh drat! He also has the tin.

Where's he gone? asks Lisa. I was going to give him some extra bandages, and some Betadine.

Give them to me, says Schopenhauer. I'll give them to him. He's gone off with Unni to look at hats.

I thought they were going to wait until tomorrow for the Salamanca Markets, says Lisa.

You know what young people are like, says Gaius. Impatient.

Do you have a tin? asks Schopenhauer?

We don't use tins, says Lisa. We have limited funding. But we have a water cooler, with polystyrene cups. You're welcome to take one. And I'll fill it up for you with water from the salt water aquarium.

To cut a long story short, that is just what happens.

Gaius and Schopenhauer say goodbye to Lisa, promising to return on Monday for Captain Louttit.

Goodbye, says Lisa. Enjoy the weekend. If you go to Howden, stop off at Blackmans Bay. Your barnacles will enjoy the blowhole.

They leave the building through the big glass doors, Gaius carrying Captain Goose and Captain Wally in a polystyrene cup of salty water.

Let's see how long Gaius keeps it up.

They go over to their bicycles.

Schopenhauer old chap, says Gaius. You have a basket. Would you mind.....?

I wouldn't mind, says Schopenhauer, if the polystyrene cup had a lid on it. But you know how particular I am about my trousers.

If only Arthur were here, with the blue bag and the tin.

Or if only Unni were here. She would buy a Boost Juice, and let them use the lid.

But Arthur and Unni are somewhere down the road looking for a hat shop.

This is an example of how things don't always work out as we might like.