Clash Of Cultures

Evidence! exclaims Gaius. That was my garden knife!

Yours! exclaims Victor. Why does he have it?

He doesn't have it, says Gaius. It's down there.

He and Victor stare into the mine shaft.

Kong Fu-Zi hops about, rubbing his ankle.

You don't need a knife for bird spotting, says Victor.

Let's hope you're right, says Gaius. May I ask why you followed us?

Several reasons, says Victor darkly. The blood, the lies, the stolen bicycle....and the disguise.

He indicates the Great Sage in his voluminous garment.

This is not a disguise, says Kong Fu-Zi. It's my usual clothing. As for the blood, it's also mine. A magpie swooped me.

Can you prove that? asks Victor. Show me your bird book.

There are no observations recorded in my bird book, admits Kong Fu-Zi.

Yet you claim to have been attacked by a magpie, says Victor.

I shall enter it immediately, says Kong Fu-Zi. Lend me a pencil. I should hate to fall foul of the police.

Victor is mollified. He hands Kong Fu-Zi a police pencil (silver, mechanical, sharp).

Kong Fu-Zi writes, in the back of his bird book:

Magpie.

You might also like to write Crested Honeyeater, says Victor.

Kong Fu-Zi is about to, when he remembers that he hasn't seen one. This might be entrapment.

Sit down, says Gaius. Let me see your ankle. You may not be able to ride.

Kong Fu-Zi shows Gaius his bruised ankle.

Gaius grasps the ankle and twists it. Kong Fu-Zi winces.

Embrocation, says Gaius. That's what's needed. Some type of dung. And a bandage. If only Arthur were here.

Gaius heads off to look for some dung.

You mentioned a stolen bicycle, says Kong Fu-Zi.

I did, says Victor. I have reason to suspect you are in possession of the Platonic Ideal, and that you lied about it to Jim at the bike shop.

Kong Fu-Zi has had enough. Swooped. Accused of crimes. Injured.

No real mountains to speak of.....