The Police Are The Public

Paintball Sports headquarters. Baby Pierre approaches the desk.

Brad looks up. Can I help you?

Yes, says Baby Pierre. Me and Terence, we want to sign up for a mission.

We have an age limit, says Brad. How old are you guys?

Not that old, says Baby Pierre. Under a million.

It's a lower limit, says Brad. How far under? Under twelve?

Ha ha, laughs Baby Pierre. How old do you think pebbles are?

And statues of Jesus, says Terence.

Brad inspects Terence.

You definitely look like a baby, says Brad. No way can you do a mission.

I'm two thousand and forty seven says Terence.

You can't be, says Brad.

No you can't be, says Baby Pierre.

Two teams enter headquarters, dressed in combat gear.

Okay Brad, says one team leader. We're ready. Which way to The Barrels?

Brad gives them a map, a set of instructions, paintguns and a number of paintballs. They leave, double checking their paintballs.

Brad writes strings of numbers down in his note book.

When he looks up, the Green Flashes have vanished.

Did that even happen? thinks Brad.

.......

That sucked, says Baby Pierre.

Yes, that really sucked, says Terence.

Let's follow them anyway, says Baby Pierre.

What about our bicycles? asks Terence.

You don't have one, says Baby Pierre. You can't even ride. You get your parrot to do it.

 My parrot...... says Terence.

His little face crumples.

........

Back in Freud's van the kettle is boiling.

Freud makes everyone tea.

Kong Fu-Zi starts to feel better.

Freud explains his business plan to Victor. Infiltrate an existing Paintball business, introduce random bicycles and pop up philosophers.

Good plan, in parts, says Victor. But not everyone is a philosopher.

You may think that, says Freud. But you'd be surprised. Gaius was popular in Victoria Square. He spoke about bird iridescence.

Isn't that science? asks Victor.

Yes, yes, says Freud impatiently. It's whatever you're good at. No doubt you yourself are good at something.

As a matter of fact, says Victor, we policemen pride ourselves on our philosophy.

Victor explains police philosophy.

The police are the public and the public are the police, says Victor, the police being the only members of the public who are paid to give full time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen, in the interests of community welfare.

Very impressive, says Freud. You should join Team Pee Pee Pee at Po.

If only I'd brought my bicycle, says Victor.

Have mine, says Kong Fu-Zi.