Ribbons And Feathers

Do you know me? asks Kong Fu-Zi.

Everyone knows the Great Sage, says Rosamunda.

Are you the persistent lady who reported me for stealing a bicycle? asks Kong Fu-Zi.

Oh that, says Rosamunda. Yes, sorry.

You wished to find me? asks Kong Fu-Zi.

Not you exactly, says Rosamunda. I'm looking for Gaius. Has he lost his phone?

Not that I know of, says Kong Fu-Zi.

And you, says Katherine. Have you lost your phone?

Phone? says Kong Fu-Zi.

Well, this is pleasant, says Katherine, sitting down in a camp chair. And who's that over there?

She is looking directly at Terence, under the Mistletoe..

Ah, says Rosamunda. It's a baby. A wee baby with no clothes on. Aren't you cold, baby?

No, says Terence. Go away. Don't look at me.

His shorts are drying says Kong Fu-Zi.

Is that them? says Rosamunda. They're wrecked!

What happened to your ankle? asks Katherine, changing the subject.

Slipped at the edge of a mineshaft, says Kong Fu-Zi. Lost Gaius's knife down it. Very careless.

Dear me, says Katherine. Poor Fu-Zi. Why don't I make us all a good strong cup of tea.

She enters the van. The floor creaks.

Was this a food van? asks Katherine, poking her head through the window. It smells like old fish oil in here.

She starts rattling tea cups.

What brings you out here? says Kong Fu-Zi, to make conversation.

Scottish Independence, says Rosamunda. I was all for it.

Bad luck, says Kong Fu-Zi.

Yes, the people have spoken, says Rosamunda. That's democracy for you.

It's not all it's cracked up to be, says Kong Fu-Zi.

You would say that, says Rosamunda.

Have you been to China? asks Kong Fu-Zi.

Yes, says Rosamunda. I was in Beijing last year.  I hooked up with Lu Ban. Helped him design his dragon bicycle.

So you know about bicycles, says Kong Fu-Zi.

Oh yes, says Rosamunda.

What do you think of this one? asks Kong Fu-Zi. It's a Platonic Ideal.

It would look better with ribbons, says Rosamunda.

For some reason, this interests the Lorikeet, who had been preparing to leave.

He flutters down to perch on the handlebars, dropping feathers.