Eight Legs Good

Want the good news, or the bad news?

The bite was not poisonous.

Gaius was moderately punctured.

But it was a shock.

And his immediate reaction was to lash out at Daniel O'Connell.

In the middle of his violent assault on Daniel O'Connell, Gaius came to his senses.

And so Daniel O'Connell only lost three of his legs.

(Which was the bad news).

Dear me, says the flight attendant. I'll go and find a dustpan.

She thinks she needs a dustpan, for the legs.

No, don't do that says Gaius. I'll keep them. They still have that pale green colour. I should like to perform certain tests to determine their chemistry.

Daniel O'Connell has been silent till now, stunned, as anyone would be, who had just lost three legs through no fault of his own, other than biting an overbearing third party.

YEEAHH! screams Daniel O'Connell.

Kong stops eating his sandwich.

Arthur wakes up from his reverie.

What happens now?

..........

Sweezus, Ying and Terence are at Barcelona Airport, waiting for the twelve o'clock Vueling flight to Tenerife.

It's nothing personal, says Ying.

I know, you just like Arthur better, says Sweezus. So do I.

Me too, says Terence.

You like me better, says Sweezus. Remember?

Terence tries to remember.

Sweezus's phone rings.

Ring-Ring!

Arthur, what's up? What? Shit man, how'd that happen? Fuck! Now what? Oh......yeah....okay.

What's happened? asks Ying.

Daniel O'Connell's on crutches, says Sweezus. Lost three legs, all in one go.

Those Ryanair flights can be dangerous, says Ying. I've heard about passengers fighting.

It was Gaius, says Sweezus. Daniel O'Connell bit him.

Did he die? asks Terence.

Didn't ask, says Sweezus. I guess not.

Crutches? says Ying. What the heck sort of crutches?

Dunno, says Sweezus. Toothpicks?

They both laugh, although it's not funny.