When We Become Lobsters

Phone numbers, says Katherine. This one is for Gaius. This one's for Arthur.

Thanks, says Dad. Are you heading back to the mainland?

Yes, says Katherine. More cheese shops to visit. Enjoy your trip to the Lighthouse.

We will, says Mum. I'm glad you let us borrow Terence. Jerry's been getting so bored.

She looks into the back seat where Terence is prising chunks from his apple with his finger, and handing them to Jerry.

To the Lighthouse! says Dad.

Don't eat those, Jerry! says Mum.

They're not for me, says Jerry. They're for the lobster.

I'm sure Captain Bruni, doesn't want them, says Mum.

As a gift, I shall accept them, says Captain Bruni. I shall keep them until they go brown.

Would you like something to put them in? asks Mum.

Thank you, no, says Captain Bruni. I have capacious pockets.

Now my apple's ruined, says Terence.

Let's throw it out, says Jerry. Dad, can we open a window?

No, says Dad. Give it to Mum, she'll deal with it.

We could stop and buy snacks in Allonah, says Mum. There's a food store and post office there.

True, says Captain Bruni. You should stop there. No snacks in the next town, Lunawanna. Only Bruny Island Premium Wines, a public toilet, community hall, jetty and post box.

What lovely names, Allonah and Lunawanna , says Mum.

Lunawanna-allonah is the Tasmanian aboriginal name for Bruny Island, says Captain Bruni.

They should have kept it, says Mum. But perhaps I shouldn't say that, as it's named after you.

No offence taken, says Captain Bruni. When we old sea captains become lobsters, as we all do eventually, we become philosophical.

Like Captain de Kermadec, says Terence. He stabbed Arthur.

How is that philosophical? asks Dad.

He had been downing large amounts of my rum, says Captain Bruni. I can only say, there are always exceptions.

How is Arthur? asks Mum. How's his knee?

He went up a tree, says Terence.

That's good, says Mum.

Are we there yet? asks Jerry. Terence and me need a toilet.

Which place has the toilet? asks Mum.

Lunawanna, says Captain Bruni.

That's the one with no shop, says Dad.

Is it just a wee? asks Mum.

Don't ask me, says Terence.

A wee, says Jerry.

You can go behind a bush in Alonnah, says Mum.

Most problems can be solved by lateral thinking.