Crash Crack And Chill

 Gaius wheels his bicycle to the picnic area.

Terence is there, with Perrot and his children.

Gaius, says Terence. Guess what?

Is this your kid? asks Perrot. We were wondering where you'd got to.

Terence knew where I was, says Gaius. It was he who left me. I sent Saint Roley. Then Porntip. Where are they, by the way?

Getting married, says Terence.

How inconvenient, says Gaius. But at least I've found you. 

I hope you don't mind that I gave him a lift, says Perrot.

All's well that ends well, says Gaius. Now Terence, we must be going.

Aw, says Alfonse.

Alfonse is my friend, says Terence. He has good ideas. See my orange peel? See these holes. We made them. They're for talking.

Are they indeed? says Gaius. And have they done any talking?

Not yet, says Claudine.

I had a call from Sweezus, says Gaius. 

When? asks Terence. 

Not long ago, says Gaius. He told me to tell you that he saw an elasmosaurus.

Wow! says Claudine, who knows all about plesiosaurs. They have really long necks.

Was it alive? asks Alfonse.

Of course it wasn't, says his sister.

Sweezus? says Perrot. Isn't he from Team Condor?

Not this year, says Gaius. He's with Team Philosophe.

The old guys? says Perrot. What a come down.

It appears it was that or nothing, says Gaius. Personally I would have chosen nothing, were I him, but who am I to say? I'm usually one of the old guys.

No way! says Perrot. Are you Gaius Secundus?

I go by that name, says Gaius.

So how are they doing? asks Perrot.

So so, says Gaius. I must say, things do move fast there.

I've noticed that too, says Perrot. I bet Stage Eight's finished already.

He takes out his phone, presses a few buttons.

Yes! cries Perrot. Nans Peters of Team AG2R La Mondiale is the winner! He soloed to victory at Loudenvielle! But alas! Thibaut Pinot has cracked because of pain in his back after crashing on Stage One. What a calamity! He was one of the favourites!

Chill out, dad, says Claudine.