Sunday, July 18, 2021

Stage 21: Chatou to Paris Champs-Elysées - Red Mush

The Tour is practically over.

The teams ride out of Chatou.

Drinking champagne and whatnot.

Let's head for the finish in Paris.

Saint Arnoc and Saint Ténénan have secured a good spot to watch from, while minding Terence.

This will be exciting, says Saint Arnoc.

Belle says it won't be, says Terence.

We'll be watching for the green man, says Saint Ténénan.

If he wins today, he'll break Eddy Merckx's record, says Saint Arnoc.

So what? asks Terence. 

Wouldn't you like to break a record? asks Saint Arnoc.

No, says Terence. I'd get into trouble.

It's not about breaking anything, says Saint Ténénan. 

I broke my finger, says Terence. See this claw?

Good heavens! says Saint Arnoc. How did that happen?

Fish glue, says Terence. And Baby-BB has my broken finger. We're blood brothers.

Where is this Baby-BB? asks Saint Ténénan.

Dead, says Terence. 

Dear me, says Saint Arnoc, opening a paper bag in which is a cardboard box containing six macarons.

Would you like one?

I'm not allowed, says Terence. 

That's a shame, says Saint Arnoc.

Okay, says Terence. I'll have a red one.

He takes a red one.

The riders have not turned up yet,

And when they do they will go round eight times before it is finished.

Terence bites into the red macaron.

Yum. If he keeps it in his mouth long enough it will turn into mush. Then it'll be like a red drink.

Won't it?

Belle appears, at last.

What's that you're eating? asks Belle.

nnnthn, says Terence.

But she thinks she can smell macaron.

He swallows the mush just in time.

Why isn't he allowed cakes? asks Saint Arnoc.

He only has red drinks, says Belle. You guys should know that, being saints.

The saints are puzzled, because they did not know that, not having paid much attention to what Terence consumed at the picnics.

The first riders whizz past eight times, followed by the others.

Allez! The green man might do it! cries Saint Arnoc.

Whether this jinxes Mark Cavendish or whether it's his own fault or whether Wout van Aert is too good on the day we will never know.

But Wout van Aert wins it.

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