If One Or Two Hats

 You may not believe it, says Wittgenstein.

Try me, says Stanley.

It was the parrot, says Wittgenstein. The parrot took the key from your office, opened the glass case, stuffed a folded cloth in the gap to prop the lid open, and lifted the eggs out.

On his own? says Stanley. No, I don't believe it. What was his reason?

If you don't believe it, you don't need a reason, says Wittgenstein.

I'm willing to listen, says Stanley. 

To restore the eggs to their family, says Wittgenstein. Or at least, enable a visit.

That would be more convincing if the eggs had been left near the stuffed magpie in the framed diorama, says Stanley.

It would, says Wittgenstein. But who's to say that they haven't already been there?

Us, says the eggs.

Did you hear something? asks Stanley.

The eggs saying US, says Wittgenstein. And we know what that means.

Unless they're lying, says Stanley.

Give me one good reason why the eggs would be lying, says Wittgenstein.

They want to see the stuffed magpie, says Stanley. And they think they have a better chance if we believe they haven't seen her already.

It is clear the Stanley knows something about egg psychology.

Can we see her? asks the eggs. Then we'll happily return to Frederick Murray's collection.

I don't see why not, says Stanley.

He picks up the eggs and takes them to look at their mother.

Wittgenstein follows.

Stanley holds the eggs up, one in each hand.

We saw grandpa, say the eggs, to their mother.

Mother magpie says nothing, being stuffed.

He was going to give us a hat, say the eggs. He still might.

Mother magpie wonders if one hat or two hats were promised.

Who was their grandpa? wonders Stanley.

That thunder egg they were placed on top of, says Wittgenstein. I bet that was their grandpa.

Fascinating, says Stanley. Perhaps it's time to rejig the collections.