A day in the Pyrenees.
Team Condor is ready.
I'm going for King the Mountain, says Sweezus. You got the nuts?
Ranger Roger knows what he means
He has a load of shelled walnuts in his back pocket.
You? says Sweezus, looking at Arthur.
Oysters, says Arthur.
And no funny water this time, says Sweezus.
That was ONCE, says Arthur.
Bang! The teams ride out of Pau.
Along... along... along...
Up the horrible Col de Soudet.
Sweezus snacks on an oyster.
Jai Hindley comes up behind.
What's that you've got, mate? asks Jai Hindley.
Oyster, says Sweezus. Want one?
I'll pass mate, says Jai Hindley.
He passes Sweezus.
As do a few others.
Along... along... along...
Up the Col de Marie Blanche.
Sweezus chews on his nuts.
To no avail.
He is passed by Ciccone, Gall, Vingegaard, Pogacar.......
He gives up on his KOM dream.
Arthur and Ranger Roger catch up.
Poetry competition? says Arthur.
Yeah, says Sweezus. May as well win something I'm good at.
You might not win, says Ranger Roger.
Arthur elbows Ranger Roger, who wobbles onto the grass verge and back onto the road again.
Allez allez allez! shouts a French person, flapping a towel.
Sweezus tries to think of a good rhyme with oyster.
Ranger Roger tries to think of a good one with nuts.
Arthur who doesn't do rhyming, thinks outside the box.
L'eau comique, que j'ai bu un fois
n'a m'aidé
mais j'ai esperé que le huitre
pourrait aider mon ami
maintenant je sais que l'eau comique
pourrait lui aidé mieux.
Awesome, says Sweezus. Too bad it's in French, so you're disqualified.
Arthur doesn't mind. At least Sweezus has been distracted.
But so have we.
What's happening at the front?
Jai Hindley has soloed to victory. Well done the Aussie!
His first Tour de France too!
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