Pliny's Banana Points

I have written my review, announced Pliny the Elder. Would you like to see it?

Yes, I would, I said.

He handed me a scrap of paper, on which was written the following:

Pliny's Women is a most excellent work of research, and for a women to have written it is a great achievement. Pliny the Younger emerges from the pages as a most admirable example of a good public servant. He is intelligent and witty, and politically astute. He is easy with his friends and kind to his female relatives and slaves. He is a man who, rather like myself, is never without his books and notebooks. He does however seem a lot more interested in dining, entertaining, writing poetry and retreating to his country house than I was. If I were to admit to any disappointment in reading this book it would relate to the matter of tone. I cannot help detecting a certain note of amusement in the author as she describes some of my nephew's characteristics. I must say that what may seem to her to be bumptiousness and lack of literary talent are a matter of opinion and the current fashion. If I may end upon a lighter note, and still on the subject of tone, I think that the choice of pink for the cover of the book was most unwise.

Wow, Pliny, I said, That's good! And funny too.

Funny? he said. What do you mean?

The bit at the end about the pink cover, and the joke about the tone, that's funny.

Oh, he said, looking pleased. Thankyou. Do you think it will earn me the 774 points?

No, I said.

Why not?

Because, I guess you didn't notice, but you've already earned 774 points when you purchased the book. It was printed on the invoice. If you write a review, you earn a further 50 points.

Great Jupiter! said Pliny. If I'd known that, I wouldn't have bothered writing it.

Natura atrox

We Plinies all liked the stunning photo in the paper this morning, of a sulphur-crested cockatoo being eaten alive by a python in a North Queensland tree.

Pliny the Elder was inspired to write a poem. He wrote it in Latin, so I will give you a literal translation.

Natura atrox sed pulchra est
Plumae avis periendae
Ex oro pythonis prominent
Fax vivenda et morienda
Pictori ingenium illuminans.

Nature is cruel but beautiful
The feathers of the disappearing bird
From the mouth of the python stick out
A living dying torch
Lighting the spirit of the artist.

Who knew Pliny was a poet??