Moderately Happy

Did you make these holes? asks Katherine.

I only wanted to SEE it, says Terence.

My button, thinks Jinjing. How will I speak?

I'm sure we can mend it, says Katherine.

Margaret returns to the car.

Toilets are over there, Katherine, says Margaret.

Katherine gets out and starts walking. Then she turns back.

There's been a small incident, says Katherine.

Don't tell me, says Margaret. With the cheese knife?

Never mind what with, says Katherine. Have you brought a sewing kit? Jinjing needs a few stitches.

I have, says Margaret. You go. We'll be driving on board soon.

Katherine goes. Margaret gets out her sewing kit.

Terence is watching.

It has black and white threads, scissors and two needles.

Jinjing doesn't like needles, says Terence.

You mean you don't, says Margaret.

She upends Jinjing.

I see the problem, says Margaret. His button's askew. I'll just ...oops! It's broken!

You killed him! cries Terence.

Jinjing does not feel this is true. He is still sentient. He can smell the ocean.

That's too bad, says Margaret. It's too late to do much about it. I'll sew up the holes.

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch-ee!

She sews up the two holes and snips the thread with the scissors.

There we are, says Margaret. Good as new, except that he can't repeat what you say now. That may not be a bad thing.

Wah! says Terence. He knew all the alphabet. What if someone asks me?

Learn it yourself, says Margaret. How do you like my sewing job?

Terence looks at the sewing job. It's neat but...

THE WRONG COLOUR!

You used white! says Terence. He's got two white spots near his bottom!

Hush, says Margaret. I had the choice of black or white. I thought white less obtrusive.

But he's green, says Terence.

He looks happy enough, says Margaret

Jinjing has slipped into a toy parrot coma, brought on by multiple trauma.

We may suppose he looks moderately happy.

Live In The Moment

Half past five. Katherine pulls up at Station Pier, Waterfront Place, Port Melbourne.

Two hours till departure.

They join a long queue.

You two have been quiet in the back there, says Katherine.

Jinjing is crying, says Terence.

Oh dear, says Katherine. What's the trouble?

He wishes he was with Gaius and Arthur, says Terence.

Sniffff! says Jinjing.

But Gaius needs the other parrot, says Katherine. What is it called?

P. krameri, says Margaret. A rose ringed parakeet.

Yes, him, says Katherine. And it's just as well really. Live birds and animals such as dogs have to travel in cages. Jinjing is a toy, so he doesn't.

Jinjing wants to go in a cage, says Terence.

Sniffff, says Jinjing.

You can't visit your pet in its cage on the voyage, says Margaret. They have strict rules about it.

There, says Terence. Stop crying. You wouldn't have liked it.

Sniffff! Jinjing stops crying. He would dearly like to say something.

If he could, this is what it would be:

What sort of fool would give Terence a cheese knife!!!!

He's stopped crying, says Terence. 

Good, says Katherine. Live in the moment.

Good advice, says Margaret. I'm just going to slip out to the toilet.

I'll go when you come back, says Katherine.

Margaret gets out of the car, and goes to look for a toilet.

It's been an educational road trip, says Katherine. Jinjing learned the whole alphabet and some diphthongs. And you...

I won a prize, says Terence.

Oh yes, my cheese knife. Where is it? asks Katherine.

In my shorts, says Terence.

Get it out, says Katherine. That's no place for a cheese knife. It has those two upturned prongs on the end.

Terence pulls out the cheese knife. 

Give it to me, dear, says Katherine.

But it's mine, says Terence.

It needs its protective sleeve on, says Katherine. 

She feels about in her handbag.

Here it is. Hand it over.

Will I get it back? asks Terence. 

Yes, says Katherine. You'll be in charge of it until I go on my cheese tour.

Terence hands it over.

The prong ends are covered in strands of velour.

The strands are green. The colour of Jinjing in the vicinity of his button.

Perhaps this is the reason why Jinjing has not been talking.

Katherine reaches back and picks up Jinjing.

Sure enough. Two holes either side of his button.

And the button askew.

Sharp Logic

It's boring, driving to Melbourne, says Terence.

It depends on your outlook, says Katherine.

I don't have an outlook, says Terence. Can I sit in the front?

No, says Margaret, who is driving.

We're nearly there, says Katherine. Would you like another puzzle?

Only if there's a prize, says Terence.

Okay, says Katherine. Try this one. It's a logic puzzle. And if you get it right, you might win a prize.

We don't have a prize, says Margaret.

We could come up with something, says Katherine.

She hands Terence a picture puzzle.

Five red apples. Three whole ones and two with a quarter cut out. An empty box, for the answer. How many?

Use your pencil, says Katherine. Think about the answer. It could be tricky.

Terence looks at the apples.

Jinjing looks too.

There is a very long silence, long enough for Margaret to arrive in Ballarat, slow down, stop and change drivers. Now Katherine is driving.

Have you worked out the puzzle yet? asks Katherine.

Silence from the back seat. Margaret turns.

We can't agree, says Jinjing.

No prize then, says Margaret.

Five, says Terence.

Four and a half, says Jinjing.

Let me see, says Margaret. Hmm. Yes, it's not really obvious. An apple with a quarter cut out is still an apple.

Is it? says Katherine. At what point after cutting out segments does it stop being an apple?

It never stops being an apple, says Margaret.

An apple is not the same as a slice of an apple, says Katherine. Think Margaret. You have one apple. You cut out a segment. By your logic, you now have two apples.

Two pieces of apple, says Margaret.

So I win, says Terence.

Katherine would say so, says Margaret. But I would side with Jinjing.

No, you wouldn't says Katherine. Your logic would compel you to answer ...err... seven.

Nonsense, dear, says Margaret. The two missing quarters have not been depicted.

You are compelled to infer them, says Katherine.

What do I get? asks Terence.

Katherine thinks. She had been going to suggest a turn with Margaret's geology hammer. But that is now out of question.

Would you like to take charge of my cheese knife? says Katherine.

YES! says Terence. Is it sharp?

Sharp enough, says Katherine.

Not Wounds But Red Eyes

An early start.

Katherine is driving.

They pass through Murray Bridge.

Terence has learned Q R S T and no more.

Jinjing has learned the whole alphabet, and several diphthongs.

They pass through Keith.

Give him another puzzle, says Katherine, to Margaret.

I'm still working out COD and TOE, says Terence.

It's finished, says Margaret.

It doesn't make sense, says Terence. What's a COD anyway?

A fish, says Margaret.

So it wouldn't have a TOE, says Terence.

They stop in Bordertown for two quick coffees and a red drink for Terence.

Now Margaret is driving.

Here, says Katherine. Try this puzzle. Where's your pencil?

She gives Terence his new puzzle, a maze.

Help a hungry Tasmanian Devil find its food by finding your way through the maze, says Katherine.  That's the Devil. Start there.

Holy bumface! says Terence.

Terence! says Katherine. Language.

I'm allowed, says Terence..

Not by me, says Katherine. Jinjing, perhaps you could help him.

Jinjing looks at the Devil, the pathways, the food.

The food looks unappetising. Is it a dead lizard, a snake, a bêche de mer? And what are the two red lumps at the back end? Or is it the front end?

Jinjing will not help the Tasmanian Devil get to this food.

He won't, says Terence. Jinjing is refusing. I'll have to do it.

Terence gets a pencil and draws a direct line from Devil to food .

Easy-peasy, says Terence.

You crossed a whole lot of lines, says Katherine. The idea is not to.

But the Devil got there, says Terence.

No, he didn't, says Katherine.

He didn't want the food anyway, says Terence.

They are now passing Nhill.

Katherine is re-doing the maze to show Terence the right way.

See this, says Katherine. You try various routes and if you come to a barrier you retrace your steps until you finally get there. See, I've got there.

Make his food look nicer, says Terence. Otherwise it's not worth it.

Don't indulge him, Katherine, says Margaret.

But Katherine is the sort of person who likes a challenge.

The food looks enigmatic.

Is it a jellyfish with two heads and a tail curving backwards? Is it a sloth? Is it bleeding? Or are they not wounds, but red eyes?

She adds several culinary features.

Look, says Katherine. A cherry donut!

Yum! says Terence.

Margaret shakes her head as she speeds through Dimboola.

Amen Is A Vowel

Early evening.

Margaret arrives at Katherine's with Terence.

What's in the back pack? asks Katherine.

Hat and parrot, says Terence. And pencils for the secret pathway.

I hope you brought a spare pair of shorts, says Katherine.

I didn't have room, says Terence.

Tch! says Katherine. There's no time to go shopping.

Early start in the morning, says Margaret. We should turn in soon.

Hot chocolate? asks Katherine.

Yes, please, says Margaret.

They bustle about in the kitchen.

Terence opens his back pack. Jinjing falls out.

Are we there yet? says Jinjing.

We haven't started, says Terence. But we've got all these pencils.

Pencils, says Jinjing.

To help us get there, says Terence. Shall we practise?

Practise, says Jinjing. What is practise?

Over and over, says Terence. And if you get it wrong, whack! First we need paper.

Jinjing sees some papers, on a table.

Paper, says Jinjing.

Good, says Terence. He takes the top paper.

It's a puzzle, in the shape of five squares, three across and three down, sharing the square in the middle

That's the secret way to Melbourne, says Terence.

Melbourne, says Jinjing. What are those letters?

You ask too many questions, says Terence.

But even Terence can see that the outer squares contain letters.

Top letter C
Left of centre letter T
Right of centre letter E
Bottom letter D

He already knows the T one.

That's a T, says Terence. Which ones do you know?

T, says Jinjing.

You're hopeless, says Terence.

What's up? says Katherine, coming in with a mug of hot chocolate.

We're practising, says Terence.

The puzzles are for tomorrow, says Katherine. But there's no harm in doing one now. Which letter's missing from the middle?

Uh?

One letter will make two words, says Katherine. One down and one across, T something E, and C something D. What is it?

Melbourne, says Terence.

No, says Katherine. Try a vowel.

Amen, says Terence.

How is amen a vowel? says Katherine. The answer is O. And you'll start learning your alphabet tomorrow.

Secret Pathway To Melbourne

Knock knock.

Gaius opens the door.

It's Margaret.

I've come for Terence, says Margaret.

Have you?  says Gaius. You didn't need to. Arthur would have delivered him.

I thought it would be nice to catch up, says Margaret.

Of course, come in, says Gaius. I was just....

Looking for a pencil? says Margaret.

How did you know? asks Gaius.

Lucky guess, says Margaret. Here, have one of these.

She offers him a pencil, from the box she has recently purchased.

These are for Terence when we're driving to Melbourne, says Margaret. We thought he might like to do puzzles.

Terence? says Gaius.

Terence hears his name, and comes running.

I'm going on the ferry! says Terence.

Yes, with Katherine and me, says Margaret. First, we must drive to Melbourne. That's where the ferry leaves from.

When? cries Terence.

Tomorrow evening, says Margaret, inching her way past Gaius, towards the kitchen.

Hello Margaret, says Arthur.

Hello Arthur, says Margaret. I've come for Terence.

He's ready, says Arthur.

I believe he now has two parrots, says Margaret.

We'll keep one, says Gaius. Terence will take the other.

Jinjing holds his breath.

Which one is the other?

But he already knows it is him.

Well, Gaius, says Margaret. Are you going to offer me tea?

I would, says Gaius, If I had some. And Arthur has polished off the biscuits.

Water will do then, says Margaret.

A nice glass of water.

We must arrange to meet up in Tasmania, says Margaret. I shall be pottering around Rocky Cape for a while, looking for evidence of zircon minerals matching those found in North America.....

Sounds like a fool's errand, says Gaius. Arthur and I will be in the south east corner, looking for endangered birds.

Ditto, says Margaret. And when we've done our fool's errands, we must meet in the middle.

Jinjing brightens.

He'll meet Arthur again in the middle.

Can we go now? asks Terence.

In a minute, says Margaret. Don't you need to pack something?

My Peruvian hat, says Terence. And Jinjing.

Gaius hands him a back pack.

You can put these pencils in it as well, says Margaret. They're for the puzzles.

Yay! Puzzles! says Terence. What kind of puzzles?

Mazes, says Margaret.

Like amazeballs? says Terence.

No, not like amazeballs, says Margaret. A maze is like a secret pathway from one thing to another, and you have to find it, with a pencil.

Terence says nothing. But it sounds like a weird way to get to Melbourne

Hard Cheese

Later that day.

Katherine is having afternoon tea with Margaret.

Earl Grey, rock cakes, and scones.

Trust Gaius to wriggle out of it, says Margaret.

Lucky I checked, says Katherine. I nearly booked four recliners. Who knows if I would have got a refund?

So we'll be sleeping on recliners, says Margaret. Good-o!

Nothing wrong with recliners, says Katherine.

Did I indicate otherwise? says Margaret.

Just your tone, says Katherine. Have you heard bad things about the recliners?

Two Trip Adviser reviewers mentioned bed bugs, says Margaret.

Now you tell me, says Katherine.

We can always spray them, says Margaret.

Yes, we can, says Katherine. And there could just as easily be bed bugs in the cabins.

Of course, says Margaret, biting into a rock cake.

Gaius wants us to take Terence, says Katherine. Apparently he's excited about the ferry. I've agreed.

Then he can go with you on the cheese tour, says Margaret. There's no way I'm taking him to a rocky coastline, and giving him a geology hammer.

You should have said that before, says Katherine. The geology hammer is what he's most excited about.

Katherine! says Margaret. A geologist has to concentrate on her findings, not stop infants drowning or breaking off bits of themselves with a hammer.

Don't fret dear, says Katherine. He can bring a geology hammer on the cheese tour.

And hammer away to his heart's content at the cheese, says Margaret.

The two ladies laugh.

At least we'll have a car, says Margaret. They will have to hire bikes.

Yes, says Katherine. But they won't have to drive all the way to Melbourne.

Can't be helped, says Margaret. I suppose that means we'll have Terence as a passenger.

Never mind, says Katherine. We'll give him some puzzles.

Does he currently have a parrot? asks Margaret.

He has two, says Katherine.

Could be a problem, says Margaret.

Whatever the problem we can solve it, says Katherine.

Of course they can.

Margaret pours more Earl Grey tea.