Snap

If, said Pliny the Elder, you had taken the trouble to google the word bacteria, you would no doubt have been more impressed with me than I was with you.

Almost every site mentions my name. It was I who described many new diseases, such as lichen, which only grows on the faces of noble men, carbunculus, nowadays known as anthrax, gemursa, which is not known today, elephantiasis, which is leprosy, and colum which is also unknown these days.

It was I who recommended the use of terra silligata, a sacred earth found only on the Greek island of Lemnos, for use against complaints of the spleen and kidneys, copious menstruation, poisons and wounds caused by serpents.

Again it was I who recommended fermented milk to treat stomach infections, and the use of garlic against bad water and food, and I believe I mentioned the properties of a certain blue cheese .......

An interesting phenomenon, of which I gave many examples, is now known as bioluminescence. I noted luminous wood in olive groves, and glowing jellyfish and shining fish heads in the waters near my home. I famously mentioned that a walking stick rubbed with the pulmo marinus will light the way like a torch.

Gosh Pliny, I said admiringly, you astound me. The only thing you didn't know was what you were actually talking about.