The Pre-Raphaelites Were Awfully Good

The vicar enters the bakery.

Morning vicar, says the baker. Coming in for a jammy bun?

The vicar is clenching his fist. Blood oozes onto the floor.

Hurt yourself? says the baker. You might need to get that cut seen to.

It's all right, says the vicar, sitting down. Just give me a paper napkin.

The baker hands the vicar a paper napkin. The vicar dabs at his wounds.

He looks up. Arthur is leaving.

Stop! says the vicar.

Arthur stops in the doorway, finishing his Belgian bun..

With his good hand, the vicar hands Arthur a postcard.

It's a photo of the pelican window. Giant doughnut pelican, blood like strawberry jam. Squawking babies like feathery cream puffs. The Pre-Raphaelites were awfully good.

Thanks, says Arthur. Very useful. Goodbye, I'm off now.

And? says the vicar, wiggling his fingers suggestively.

It was your fault, says Arthur.

Forgive and forget, says the vicar.

What happened? asks the baker.

The two girls look up from their buns.

Nothing that can't be mended, says the vicar. Read the back of the postcard, young man.

Later, says Arthur, making off down the road.

He knows vicars. He has a good idea what will be on the back of the postcard.

........

Arthur wheels his bike to the edge of town. Stops and takes out his phone.

He will forward his photo to Gaius, before setting off to Barnard Castle, the next town on his route.

He looks at the photo. Its a bad one. Just a grey grid, with the hint of a pelican shape.

He takes out the postcard. It's a good one. Abundant with pelican detail.

He photographs the postcard.

All he needs now is Gaius's number.

He will have to call Sweezus again.

.........

Ring, ring. The landline rings in the office of Velosophy.

Sweezus picks up.

You again, Arthur? says Sweezus. Man, why don't you call me direct?

I don't......begins a voice that sounds like Arthur, but ends in a thud, followed by heavy breathing........