Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Under The Sea With No Trumpet

Excuse me! says the mysterious rider.

Ssü-K'ung Shu slows down.

Has his past caught up with him? 

Is this the way to Emu Bay? asks the rider.

Is it a ruse? thinks Ssü-K'ung Shu. Is he a government agent?

You must ask my colleague, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. He's the one up ahead there. I'm his assistant.

It's been hard enough for me to catch up to you, says the stranger. These Flying Pigeon bikes are extremely heavy.

I know, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. Forty four kilos. Did you ship it over from China?

I did, says the rider. 

Are you on holiday? asks Ssü-K'ung Shu.

No, says the rider. Working. Always working. Ah! A signpost!

The signpost reads: KINGSCOTE 5K.  EMU BAY 22K.

Ssü-K'ung Shu hopes that now the government agent will drop back or speed up.

He speeds up. 

Ssü-K'ung Shu stops, pretends to adjust his handlebars, then turns and cycles back towards Penneshaw.

No way is he going to be extradited to China.

......

Terence is standing up in Louisa's bicycle basket, trying to balance.

He can see over Louisa's shoulder.

Shu's stopped! says Terence. Shu's turned around! Shu's going!

Louisa risks a quick look.

No he isn't, says Louisa. He's just a long way behind us.

Everything all right? asks Gaius, drawing level with Louisa.

No, says Terence. I can see....

Sit down, Terence, says Gaius. You'll cause an accident.

Terence sits down heavily. Louisa's bike wobbles.

See? says Terence. That's what happens when no one believes me.

........

When Ssü-K'ung Shu arrives back in Penneshaw he is surprised to see Vello.

Shu! says Vello. Am I glad to see you! This place is a hotbed of insanity!

My thoughts exactly, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. But what makes you think so?

You won't believe it! says Vello. The Sealink ferry docks. I walk down the gang plank. The local school band is playing that Calypso tune from The Little Mermaid, called "Under the Sea".

Who was on trumpet? asks Ssü-K'ung Shu.

No trumpet, says Vello. Why are you asking? The point is, the Mayor greeted me as.....you won't believe this! Jacques Cousteau!

They got my name wrong too, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. Have you  told them?

Of course not! says Vello. I rejoice in the role of Jacques Cousteau! I'm making a speech in the Kingscote Town Hall on Friday. I'll give them fireworks! Now, where is everyone?

Gaius and Terence are on their way to the Emu Bay Shale, says Ssü-K'ung Shu.

And where is Sweezus? asks Vello.

Surfing with Arthur at Hanson Bay. It's extremely dangerous. 

Then that's where I'm going, says Vello. I'll give him dangerous. I bet he's not learning his lines.

I'll come with you, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. I need to lie low for a while. This is lucky.

Very lucky. 

Mayor Clements emerges from a cafe and sees the two famous ecologists, talking.

Good afternoon! calls the mayor. Making plans? Tell you what, I have nothing to do this afternoon. Can I offer you a lift anywhere?

Hanson Bay would be perfect, says Vello.

No comments: