Seals

Ridiculous! thunders Pliny the Elder! You have no business making pelicans talk, and read books! You will give Natural History a bad name. I hope you have something better to write about seals.

I feel sad now because the only thing I have to write about seals is that I saw a photo in the newspaper one day last week of two seals dancing together underwater. It was a black and white photo. The seals held their flippers around one another as though they were waltzing. They were in an aquarium somewhere and were proving very popular and being called Fred and Ginger. You couldn't tell from the photo which was Fred and which was Ginger. They were smiling. Their skin was covered in sticking plasters.

Perhaps they were not sticking plasters, but big square bubbles, I am not going back to have a look. The newspaper pile is in disorder, and due to be put out for recycling tonight.

Pliny the Elder won't like this.