Science

That was an excellent show, David, said the VeloDrone, on his return from the Royal Institution. You would have enjoyed it. He waved a small red and black cardboard packet under the nose of his friend.

What's that? said Le Bon David, peering at the packet.

Hee hee! It's a condom. And guess how much liquid it can hold without bursting?

Vello! Don't be so vulgar! Where on earth have you been?

I've been to a cabaret at the Royal Intitution. It was called Pre-Coital, The Science of Dating. Our last free ticket for the Fringe. It was my turn to go, wasn't it?

Yes it was. And by the sound of it, I am the lucky one. But tell me, Science and Dating. What has one got to do with the other?

Exactly! What has one person got to do with the other? It was science, with plenty of singing and dancing and comedy thrown in.

That doesn't sound like science!

But it was. I learned the odds of meeting my perfect mate. I learned about the biology and evolution of physical attraction. I learned about pheromones and emotions, and had a lesson in condom physics and sperm counts.

Hence the condom.

Indeed. It holds a litre without breaking. Would you like me to show you?

No, Vello, I wouldn't.