Gang Oft Agley

The bus rolled on through the night. Lavender gazed out of the window at the blur of brightly lit cafes, pubs and shops. Rabbie was rambling on about his job as an excise man.

You didn't answer me, she said, are we there yet?

Not yet, said Rabbie. Were ye listenin' to me at all?

Yes, said Lavender. You were an exercise man.

Excercise man! You didna listen, said Rabbie. And he began explaining what a customs and excise man had to do.

The bus turned sharp right and headed north. Lavender was alarmed.

Shouldn't we be at Henley by now? she asked.

Splittereens!!! spluttered Rabbie. We've passed it!

Splittereens, said Lavender. What does that mean?

That's what we statues say when somethin's gang agley, said Rabbie.

If this bus is gang-agley we're getting off, said Lavender. Press the stop button.I can't reach it.

Rabbie pressed the stop button and they got off the bus.

Where are we? asked Lavender.

I'm no sure lassie, but I can smell the sea, said Rabbie. It's this way.

They seemed to walk forever. It was cold, dark and the roar of the sea was far away. Lavender wished she'd waited for Baby Pierre and Ageless.

What does gang-agley mean? she asked.

The best laid plans o' mice and men gang oft agley, said Rabbie.

Oh, said Lavender. Are we agley?

I fear so, said Rabbie. Let's sit down and wait till mornin'.

Lavender was furious.

Splittereens! she said. I'm not stopping.

And she stomped away.