Late Night Philosophical Bus Stop Conversations

Rabbie and Lavender were waiting for a bus to take them to Henley. It was late at night so they had been waiting for a long time.

Can I ask ye somethin' lassie? asked Rabbie. Why d'ye want to go to Henley?

I'm looking for the Mortal Jellyfish, said Lavender. Or the Immortal Jellyfish, I can never remember which.

'Tis my guess ye're lookin' for the Immortal Jellyfish, said Rabbie. Nobody wud want to waste their time on the other sort. I've been both Mortal and Immortal, so I should know.

Have you? said Lavender, impressed. That means you died.

Aye, indeed it does, said Rabbie. At the tender age of 37, I died after a tooth extraction, in 1796.

Cool, said Lavender. So how did you get to be immortal?

I'm a bard, said Rabbie. Ma poems made me immortal.

Oh, said Lavender, losing interest.

I wudna be surprised to find that ye're immortal too, said Rabbie. Ye bein' a kind of a fossilly wee shelly thing.

That's not me, said Lavender stiffly.

What's you then? said Rabbie.

The space where the shelly thing used to be, said Lavender.

A pretty idea, said Rabbie. I like ye better for it.

A thought struck Lavender.

I wonder what's in the space where you used to be? she said.

Why nothin' ye daft wee lassie, said Rabbie. I'm right here. I guarantee it.

No, said Lavender, there'll be something there. And not just your boots. I guarantee it.

D'ye have the second sight now? said Rabbie.

I'm an auger, said Lavender.

Where's this devil of a bus then? said Rabbie Burns, shifting on his stumps.