A Slight Problem With Funding

Mayor Ann Cox hands Arthur the spade. He doesn't take it.

Just dig out that cobblestone, says Ann Cox. Then make the hole deeper, and put it back in.

I'll use my knife, says Arthur.

He pulls the knife out of his pocket.

Ann Cox isn't pleased with this turn of events.

I see you are a young person who carries a knife, says Ann Cox. We don't like knives in Pocklington. Please give it to me.

No, says Arthur. I'm using it to dig out your cobblestone.

Ann Cox tries a new tack.

We're building a skate park, she says. A new one. For all the young people of Pocklington.

That proves there's nothing to do here, says Arthur, scratching at the dirt with his knife. The cobblestone comes loose. He lifts it out and sets it on the wall.

Well done, says Ann Cox. No, we don't have one at the moment. We have a slight problem with funding.

 Now what? says Arthur, indicating the cobblestone.

Finish the job, then we'll see, says Ann Cox.

Arthur scratches around in the dirt that was under the cobblestone. Scoops dirt out with his hands and then drops the cobblestone back in its place. He stands up and stamps on the cobblestone.

How much is that worth? says Arthur.

Say a pound? says Ann Cox.

Put it towards the skate park, says Arthur. Don't say I'm not generous.

Ann Cox turns on her heel. Ouch! Another cricked ankle. She has to sit down on the wall.

Rosie rides up on her bicycle. It is only a two hour ride from Thirsk.

Hi Arthur! says Rosie. Here's your phone. Who's this lady?

Mayor of Pocklington, says Arthur. Her motto is Service With Freedom. What that means is, you work for nothing.

I say, says Ann Cox. That's not right. You've left out William Wilberforce. Not to mention I paid you a pound. Hello, young woman. My name is Mayor Cox. And you are?

Rosamunda Secunda, says Rosie. A natural historian. I've just been in Thirsk, rambling over the Moors, seeing Tits and Nuthatches and sticking my arm up cow's bottoms.

How wonderful! You must let me show you our Wolds, says Ann Cox.

Absolutely, says Rosamunda Secunda. Wolds are my favourite. But you're in a hurry, aren't you, Arthur?

No, says Arthur, calling her bluff. Wolds are my favourite too.