Other Points Of View In The Natural World

The walls of Barnard Castle have been collapsing since 2009. The stones are in disarray.

You can hear them complaining.

It's the fault of the Council, says Stone 345.

They've done nothing, says Stone 872. They're all talk.

There'll be none of us left, says Stone 41. One by one we're going missing. We need protection. And where are the police?

Never around when you need them, says Stone189.

Arthur sits down on Stone189, unaware of its need for protection.

Rosie sits on Stone 345.

Who were you on the phone to? asks Rosie, handing Arthur a green-looking quiche.

Sweezus, says Arthur. Your hero.

What's he up to? says Rosie. Writing something amazing no doubt.

No he isn't, says Arthur. He's doing a report on the Twitcher while Gaius is off chasing blobfish.

Blobfish? says Rosie. I've heard about them. They've just been  voted the world's ugliest animal. How mean is that?

Why? asks Arthur, who doesn't know much about blobfish.

Because they live in the dark, says Rosie. Here, have an apple.

Thanks, says Arthur. He takes out his knife.

Do you peel your apples? says Rosie. You're funny.

Sometimes, says Arthur, running the knife under the peel of the apple. The knife leaves a thin red line on the flesh.

Euww, says Rosie. Don't you wash it?

Arthur bites into his apple, wipes the knife on the back of his shorts.

He scrapes his knife down the side of Stone 189, to sharpen it.

Stone 189 stiffens.

Hey! says Stone 189 to the knife. Watch it, terminator!

Shut it, says the knife sharply. I'm sick of taking the blame. In fact, when I get to London.....

You're going to London? says Stone 189. Lucky you.

You bet, says the sharp knife of Arthur. I'm being exchanged for a shoe horn. And I tell you, I won't mind a bit.

Stone 189 is impressed. He shuts up and starts thinking about what he might be exchanged for, and where that might leave him. His thoughts extend to the grass. And the apple peel lying on it.

Arthur's apple peel curls up defensively on the grass as ants approach, military fashion.

Sh-sss, hisses the apple peel. Life is short.

Stone 189 finds he can relate to that sentiment.

Arthur and Rosie get up to leave Barnard Castle because they have nothing to drink.

And so they are nowhere near the collapsing ruins when the Durham Constabulary drift past.