Uphill time trials. Everyone has a plan.
But Froomey is keeping his quiet, because he's the top GC rider, and he's riding last.
He strolls around near the start point, with nothing to do.
He walks by Belle and Sweezus, who are talking.
Belle: Oh come ON! Just a nice little hike in the mountains.
Sweezus: But I ought to stay here.
Belle: Team Condor is perfectly capable of looking after themselves in a time trial.
Sweezus: Yeah, but Terence....
Belle: Arthur should never have let him climb on the back.
Sweezus: I know, but...
Belle: You just don't want to go hiking.
Froome: He probably shouldn't. Not with that broken collar bone.
Belle: Oh, hello Froomey. Don't be ridiculous. It's only hiking.
Froome: Hiking's hard work in these mountains.
Belle: Ha ha. You are funny. Shouldn't you be warming up or something?
Froome: Not yet. I'm the last rider. I've actually got nothing to do for ages.
Belle: How would you like to look after Terence, while Sweezie and I go for hike in the mountains?
Froome: Where is Terence?
Belle: Over there talking to Arthur. Oh quick, before Arthur lets him jump on.
Sweezus: Chill, Belle. Arthur's not bothered.
Froome: Wish I had his temperament.
Belle: Arthur's! No you don't, Froomey.
Froome: Only kidding. My temperament's okay. I make my plans. And I stay out of trouble.
Sweezus: Arthur makes plans, but he doesn't stay out of trouble.
Belle: Stop nattering! Go and get Terence.
Quatre, trois, deux, un ....( mumble)! Arthur rolls down the shute at the start of his time trial.
He feels light. Lighter than expected.
A good start.
Retrospectively, he includes lightness, due to not carrying Terence, as part of his plan.
He rides hard up the Côte de Domancy, and tires himself out.
Terence meanwhile has been whipped off the start chute by Sweezus, and delivered to Froome.
Belle: Are you sure, Froomey? This is awfully nice of you.
Froome: I'm a nice guy.
Terence: It wasn't fair.
Froome: What wasn't?
Terence: Arthur was going to tell me the rest of the story. About the rabbits. And now look.
Belle: Bye bye! We'll be back before the start of your time trial.
Sweezus: Yeah, see ya, Froomey.
Froome: So, what was this story? Maybe I can finish it.
(Wow! He IS a nice guy!)
Terence: There was a daddy rabbit and a baby rabbit and they lived by a busy road and the baby rabbit didn't come home for tea so the daddy rabbit ran over the road to find him.
Froome: Is that where Arthur stopped telling the story?
Terence: No. And he found him and he was crying, and they had to get back.
Froome: Do I start now?
Terence: No. It was DARK and there were big noisy lorries and flashing lights and tooting.
Froome: And?
Terence: The daddy said RUN! and the baby rabbit scampered, with the daddy right behind him.
Froome; And they made it?
Terence: The baby made it. The daddy was mangled.
Froome: Well that kind of strikes me as the end of the story.
Terence: NOOO! Arthur said he would tell me!
Froome tries to imagine what Arthur was going to tell Terence.
Froome: You know how sometimes we think someone's dead but he isn't?
Terence: Yes! Saint Joseph!
Froome: Okay. Well the daddy rabbit was only injured. He was taken to hospital, and he got better, and then he went home to his family.
Terence: Yes, that was what happened. And he started whacking me the very next day.
Froome: You identify too much with the story.
Terence: What does that mean?
Froome: You think you're in it, when you're not in it.
Terence: I'm going to tell grandpa.
Froome: What?
Terence: You think you're in it when you're not in it.
Froome: He might take it the wrong way. Who is your grandpa?
Terence: Grandpa Marx. He's shaved all his hair off. That's him over there.
Froome: Well it's time for me to warm up now. Want to watch me?
Terence: No, I'm going to see grandpa. Ha ha. Grandpa thinks he knows everything.
Froome goes off to warm up. Terence goes over to tell Marx he thinks he is in it when he's not.
Which Marx thinks is rather good, and is still turning over in his head as he flies down the shute at the start of his time trial.
With the result that he thinks he is in it but he's really not in it.
Froome, riding last of all, carries out his plan.
Which is: Win it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment