Na No

Next morning Gaius comes down to see Freddie.

I had a most refreshing sleep on your comfortable bedding, beams Gaius.

Pleased to hear it, says Freddie. Your friend had a bad night.

My friend? asks Gaius.

Mr Vello, says Freddie. He fell asleep here in the social space, while reading a newspaper.

Where is he? asks Gaius.

Gone upstairs, says Freddie. Now, about this broken parrot...

How much? sighs Gaius.

Ten euros, says Freddie.

Gaius pays up.

From under Freddie's desk, Terence's head emerges.

We need to help Tiny!

Jumping gym-knicks! says Gaius. I'd forgotten. Where is the faulty parrot?

Here, says Freddie. It's yours.

Abt tm! says Tiny.

What's that? asks Gaius.

His tummy hurts, says Terence.

N! says Tiny. M mths gmd!

Let's have look at you, says Gaius. Aha! His mouth's gummed up with bull glue. This is a serious problem.

We know, says Terence.

Why? asks Freddie.

It's the strongest glue known to the ancient world, says Gaius. Made with bitumen, bark pitch and beef tallow. It was used to mount silver laurels on legionnaires' helmets before going into battle. Some are still stuck to this day.

You don't say, says Freddie. That is a cool thing! Is there a known solvent?

Nail polish remover, says Gaius. Do you have any?

I don't, says Freddie. But we are not far from the Kö.

The Kö? says Gaius.

The Königsallee, says Freddie. The shopping boulevarde. It's just along there. They have many high fashion shops, and there is a nail shop for the ladies. Let me find the address for you..... yes, here.... Na No Nails, Königsallee number 36.

Thank you, says Gaius. Come along, Tiny. You too Terence. We'll de-gum Tiny, and remove your wing at the same time.

No-o! says Terence. I'm keeping it!

We'll see about that, says Gaius.

........

In Na No Nails, Gaius waits to be served.

Would you like a finger massage while you're waiting? asks Lotte.

No thank you, says Gaius. I merely wish to purchase nail polish remover. Do you sell it?

We do, says Lotte. But we prefer to use it in house.

No doubt, says Gaius, but I need it to de-gum the mouth of a snake.

Lotte is shocked. This sounds so disgusting. Should she call Rex?

But no. The man is accompanied by a sweet little cherub, who reminds her, somehow, of Baby Jesus. The child is wearing cutlass shorts and has a wing stuck to his finger. How super cute. Perhaps he would like his baby nails done...

Would your child like his ...? Oh!

This one, says Gaius, producing Tiny.

REX! calls Lotte.

Rex stops what he is doing, and comes over.

What is the problem?

A snake on the counter!

Keep calm, says Rex. It is only tiny.

How did you know? asks Terence.

Rex ignores him, and lunges at Tiny with the microblade which he has been using on a customer's eyebrows.

Steady on! says Gaius.

Rex stops and looks hard at Gaius.

A Tour de France rider! Not one of the more famous, but nonetheless.....

How may we help you? asks Rex.