Water Does What It Wants

Sweezus munches the chocolate.

Now that you're here, says Gaius, you can take charge of Terence.

Sure, right, says Sweezus. Where is he?

Gaius doesn't know.

Where is he, Ageless? asks Gaius.

Ask Freddie, says Ageless.

Outside, says Freddie. With his little snake friend.

Tiny! cries Third Sister. Is it Tiny?

Yes, says Freddie. He looks like you. Is he your brother?

But Third Sister has run quickly outside.

Terence and Tiny are returning from the canal, where they have been playing Cannot But Bee.

Third Sister! cries Tiny, as soon as he sees her.

Tiny Sacrifice! cries Third Sister.

They entwine, like snake brother and sister. Then they withdraw to regard one another.

Nice bike knicks, says Tiny.

Thanks, says Third Sister.

A coolness descends. A gulf divides them.

They go inside.

Terence runs to Sweezus! Yay! Sweezus is here!

Scheisse! says Sweezus. What's that on your hand?

A parrot wing, says Terence. He waves it about a bit.

Sweezus does not look impressed.

......

Later. At a cool bar in the Altstadt. A meeting of Team Condor, re tactics.

I'm just saying, says Sweezus.

Another weissbier? asks Arthur

Yeah, says Sweezus. Gaius's round.

I won't have another, says Gaius.

It's still your round, says Sweezus.

Water, says Gaius.

Yeah, says Sweezus. What was I saying? Yeah... pour water into a tea cup, it takes the shape of the tea cup.

Terence is under the table. He is not allowed to say anything.

He thinks about Sweezus's teacup.

That is all very well, says Gaius. But pour water into a toilet, it takes the shape of the toilet, that does not make it a desirable quality to emulate. You need to convince me.

A toilet! says Sweezus.

He is taken aback.

Terence is snorting with suppressed laughter under the table. He can't wait to tell Tiny.

My own preference as to tactics, says Gaius, is PUSH ON.

Water does that too, says Sweezus.

Terence nearly wets himself, thinking of pushing on the toilet. And afterwards flushing. Hilarious.

It seems you think it will do what you want it to do, says Gaius. Let me assure you it won't. Have you ever been to the seaside and tried to make a moat round a sand castle?

Luckily Sweezus is saved from the riddle of the moat by the return of Arthur with two weissbiers, one glass of water, and an acquaintance.

Richie! says Sweezus. Good to see you! When did you get here?

Today, says Richie.

Same, says Sweezus. Sit down. Gaius's round. What're you having?

I'm all right, says Richie. Arthur was just saying about Team Trek Segafredo's new outfits.

Sweezus grimaces.

All right for some, says Sweezus. Team Condor can't afford new outfits. Contadors's team looks heaps good though. White pinstripe jersey and pinstripe bib shorts. Red helmets and shoes, customised white Trek bikes with red details.

You know what, man, says Richie. There's this good philosophy.

What? says Sweezus.

All your sorrows have been wasted on you if you have not yet learned how to feel rat shit, says Richie.

That's WRETCHED, says Gaius.