Stiff Mother

It's very late now. Reception is closed for the night.

Griff has already gone to bed, unwilling to wait up for Gaius.

He is dreaming of Rachel Pringle Polgreen, in an un-Christian way.

Terence is staying awake.

He walks up and down in Reception.

Stomp stomp.

This is boring.

Until:

Tiny Sacrifice wriggles under the door with Third Sister.

Yay! says Terence. There's two of you.

This is Third Sister, says Tiny Sacrifice. Where's Gaius?

I'm waiting for Gaius, says Terence. He went to get something.

We'll wait with you, says Tiny Sacrifice.

You'll be safe waiting with me, says Terence.

They are still waiting for Gaius, when Kobo and Ageless come in, with Nose in between them.

Tiny! says Nose. I was waiting for you! Did you find your parents?

Yes, says Tiny Sacrifice. It was pretty good, but I couldn't stay. This is Third Sister.

Hello Third Sister, says Nose.

I heard all about you, says Third Sister. You killed Stede Bonnet.

I had to, says Nose.

How did you do it? asks Third Sister.

I glassed him in the soft parts, says Nose.

Wow, says Third Sister. I bet he deserved it.

Yes, he deserved it, says Nose. but I'm on the run now.

We are too, says Tiny Sacrifice. We're waiting for Gaius.

That's not running, says Terence.

Being on the run isn't running, says Nose.

It could be flying, says Terence. But you can't do that either.

I can, says Third Sister.

It is late and she is delirious.

Show me, says Terence. If you can you can be my new parrot.

Enough! says Ageless. Bedtime! We fly to Düsseldorf in the morning.

Would Nose and Third Sister like to sleep with us on our cushion? asks Kobo.

NO! says Ageless. They wouldn't.

It is now that Gaius comes in, with his long parcel.

Aha! says Gaius. All up? Terence, you should be in bed. Tiny Sacrifice, I have something for you.

He thrusts forth the parcel.

Tiny Sacrifice slithers forward.

No way can he open the parcel.

Seeing you're still up, Terence, says Gaius. You may do the honours.

Terence tears at the string and rips apart the two bread bags.

The stuffed Barbados racer drops out.

Everyone stares at the stuffed Barbados racer.

Who's that? asks Tiny Sacrifice.

It looks like mother, says Third Sister. But she's stiff.

She's a stiff mother, says Terence. The best sort of mother. The Virgin was stiff.

You said she was a rubbish mother, says Nose.

Depends, says Terence. Sometimes you need a stiff mother.

Nose tries to think of a time when she might need a stiff mother.

Yes, she can think of an instance.

A stiff mother would stand up to developers. But only if she could speak..... no, Nose wouldn't like a stiff mother.

Third Sister is looking at the stuffed Barbados racer with tears in her eyes.

Don't worry, says Nose. It's no use to anyone.

No use to anyone, says Tiny.

No use, snivels Third Sister.

I'm glad you all think that, says Gaius. Because it releases me from my initial intention of providing Tiny Sacrifice with a comfort. Instead, I shall present the stuffed racer to the Düsseldorf Natural Science Museum. Any objections?

Kobo feels sorry for the stuffed racer.

She feels she ought to speak up.

I have no objections, says Kobo, but it ought to be recognised that stiffness in a mother is sometimes no fault of the mother.

Fine sentiments Kobo, says Gaius. I applaud you.

We should all applaud the stiff mother, says Kobo.

If it is a mother, says Ageless.

In spite of which undermining comment, the stiff mother is applauded.

And now it is bed time. They fly to Düsseldorf tomorrow.