Competent But Unlikely

It's late, but the lights are still on in the biological sciences lab.

Gaius drops his hired bicycle, and enters the lab.

Young Richard Ligon is there, with Professor Tinto.

They are watching two small snakes in a glass sided terrarium.

Gaius! says young Richard Ligon. Success!

Very good, says Gaius. I heard you had some results. What are they?

Young Richard Ligon shows Gaius the three DNA test printouts.

Excellent ! As we suspected, says Gaius.

He peers into the terrarium, at First Brother and Second Sister.

First Brother and Second Sister pay no attention to Gaius, because they are sharing a frog.

What happened to Tiny Sacrifice? asks Gaius.

Lost him, says young Richard Ligon. But it doesn't matter. These are his siblings, and I must say, a great deal more tractable.

And that is important, say Professor Tinto. Because we have a big conference organised.

Wonderful, says Gaius. Well good luck with that. By the way, has either of you seen Julia? I left something behind in her car.

She gave me a parcel, says Professor Tinto. Now where did I put it?

Behind the door, Professor Tinto, says young Richard Ligon.

Yes, over there, says Professor Tinto.

Gaius locates the parcel. It is loosely wrapped in two bread bags, tied with string in the middle.

Bread? inquires Professor Tinto. It'll be stale by now.

No, says Gaius. I'm not sure I should tell you what it is. But why not? After all, we're all scientists. It's a stuffed Barbados racer, stuffed long ago and kept in wardrobe, recently revealed when a female acquaintance needed slippers.

My, says Professor Tinto. If I were you, I'd keep it in the bread bag. Are you planning to take it out of the country?

I am hopeful of doing it, says Gaius. I fly to Düsseldorf tomorrow. As you probably know, the Tour de France starts off there, in July. I need to acclimatise...

Acclimatise! says Professor Tinto. Are you in it?

I believe so, says Gaius. I usually ride with Team Philosophe, or Team Condor. It is not yet decided.

Team Condor is a cool team, says young Richard Ligon. They've got Pablo Neruda.

Team Philosophe is also a cool team, if by that you mean competent but unlikely, says Gaius.

Young Richard Ligon agrees that by cool he means competent but unlikely.

Well, goodbye, says Gaius, waving his bread bag. A few bread crumbs fall out.

Waste not want not, says Gaius, dropping the breadcrumbs into the terrarium.

He exits the lab.

Nice fellow, says Professor Tinto. Very modest. It's a rare thing these days. But of course, he doesn't have the pressures.....