Delaying Tactics

Soon they are all in the Mini, heading for Bathsheba.

It shouldn't be far.

Nowhere is far, in Barbados.

Julia is driving.

Gaius sits beside her, clutching the stuffed Barbados racer and a large bag of seed pods, marked Pride of Barbados.

In the back seat, Griff and Julia, oddly disposed.

Her pink fluffy slippers appear now and then in the rear vision mirror. At other times, the turban.

It is left to Gaius and Julia to keep up an intellectual conversation.

Julia: I can't understand it. Iris Bannochie must have thousands of Pride of Barbados plants already.

Gaius: Yes, they do seem quite common.

Julia: Did you know it's our national flower?

Gaius: I did. Caesalpinia pulcherrima. A beautiful inflorescence in yellow, red and orange with particularly long graceful stamens.

Julia: It attracts hummingbirds.

Gaius: Am I mistaken, or did I see it on a flag once?

Julia: Yes, that would be the queen's flag. Her flag depicts two red flowers, the Pride of Barbados, and a Bearded Fig tree, in the middle of which is a big E with a crown on.

Gaius: Ha ha! A big E with a crown on.

Julia: It's not our Barbadian flag. Our flag is blue and yellow, with a broken trident.

Gaius: Neptune's trident. I've seen it. I thought it was short in the handle. Why is it broken?

Julia: It's broken, to symbolise the break with Great Britain.

Gaius: One in the eye for Great Britain! Or should I say 'One in the E with a crown on'!

Julia: Ha ha. You're so funny.

Gaius: I pride myself on it. I must say Julia, I'm enjoying my day off immensely.

Griff  (muffled, from the back seat): Are we there yet?

Yes, they are pulling up outside the famous Andromeda Gardens.

As with Hunte's Gardens, it is thirty dollars for entry.

Julia goes up to the ticket box.

Delivery from Anthony Hunte for Iris Banocchie. May we see her?

Sharon: Dear me. You're too late to see Iris Bannochie. She died in 1988. So there are four of you? That's one hundred and twenty dollars. Oh! Hello, Rachel! Don't you look amazing!

Rachel Pringle Polgreen has stepped out of the mini, resplendent in her turban, her parrot green dress and pink fluffy slippers.

Poor old Iris. Dead is she? says Rachel.

Yes, says Sharon. These things happen. She was seventy four. But her memory lives on in the garden. It's even been featured on BBC2 Gardener's World.

Well, says Rachel. We want to go swimming. We'll just drop off these seeds.

I don't think you should go swimming, Rachel, says Sharon. The ocean's too rough on this side.

Who cares! says Rachel. You only live once. Ask dear old Iris.

No, no! says Sharon. Come in all of you. Free of charge. I'll get someone to show you the gardens. Give me the seed pods. What are they? Oh! Pride of Barbados! Why would Anthony think we need those?

There is no logical answer.

Some things are just carelessly constructed delaying tactics.