The Balance Of Power

Julia drops Griff and Gaius at the Waves Resort Hotel.

Thank you, Julia, says Gaius. I enjoyed my day off. But now I have work to do. Firstly, find young Richard Ligon.

If I see him, I'll let him know, says Julia. He may be up at the Uni.

Bye bye, Griffy, says Rachel. Have you had a good day?

Yes, bye and large, says Griffy.

Rachel laughs in a good natured way.

The two women head off in the Mini.

Gaius and Griff go inside, to enquire at Reception. Perhaps there will be a message from young Richard Ligon.

There is a message, says Reception. I wrote it down for you.

He hands Gaius a thin piece of paper.

Gaius reads: BUMHOLE!

Is this from Terence? asks Gaius.

What do you think? asks Reception. He didn't like being left here all day with Nose.

Where is he? asks Gaius. We must make it up to him.

I'm here, says Terence. I've been waiting and waiting.

He has, says Reception.

Where is Nose? asks Griff.

Gone for a long walk, says Reception.

What went wrong? asks Gaius.

The balance of power, says Terence. It's your fault.

Sorry, says Gaius. I should not have left Nose in charge. It was thoughtless.

Make it up then, says Terence. This is my list of demands.

Wait a minute, says Griff, A list of demands?

That's not like you, says Gaius.

It's my list, says Terence. It's got one thing on it.

That does sound like Terence. So does the fact that he hasn't written it down.

First, says Terence. As many red drinks as I want, any time I want them.

That's not just one demand, says Griff. It's too open ended.

Bumholes are open ended, says Terence.

Aaa-hah! Bumholes! Open ended!

This is so funny that Nose, returning from her long beach walk and overhearing, snorts with laughter.

And the humming bird, who has entered via an open window, laughs too.

Hummmmm-haha!

A parrot! cries Terence. Come here, parrot!

Nose stops laughing. She was the parrot. Almost. But no. The walk has resolved it. She smiles at her successor.

The successor lands on Gaius' shoulder. Pecks at his ear in a loving fashion.

Ex-ite! cries Gaius, surprised into Latin.

Parrot, says Terence. Come to ME!

Who is this little fellow? asks the humming bird.

Terence, says Gaius. I'm occupied with him at the moment. Could you go and kiss Griff now, perhaps?

It's you I love, says the hummingbird. Don't you know me?

I know you all right, says Gaius. You're the spirit of Iris Bannochie.

A spirit! cries Terence. Come here, spirit!

No, says the spirit of Iris Bannochie. But let me resolve the situation. I am nothing if not practical. A plant falters, replace it with another. The necessary murder of snails. These are my tenets. What's the problem?

He called me a....ahem....excuse me...a  bumhole, says Gaius. Because I left him with Nose. And he has a list of demands with one thing on it, but the thing is self-proliferating.

Easily fixed. Take him out! says the spirit of Iris Bannochie.

That's going too far, says Griff. Even for an unholy infant.

Not that, says the hummingbird. I refer to an outing. As it happens to be Friday, take him to the Harry Bayley Observatory. Young persons love it. We'll all go.

Yay! says Terence. Do they have red drinks there?

Red drinks and so much more, says the spirit of Iris Bannochie.