Famous Curtains

I am Nobby, says the bush.

We can't call you Nobby, says Vello. How would it look?

Yes, says David. A curtain called Nobby.

It's a stage name, says Nobby. You can put it on the flier.

What? Curtain: Nobby? says Vello.

What's your role? asks Nobby.

I play Martin, says Vello. And David plays Doctor Pangloss. Belle plays the lovely Cunégonde, and Terence plays a stink bug.

And I play a curtain, says Nobby. There have been many theatrical curtains. Most have had names.

Name one, says Vello.

Nobby thinks back to his earliest education.

A name comes to him.

The Arras! says Nobby.

Can't argue with that, says David. The famous Arras. Behind which Hamlet hides.

Yes, snaps Vello. All right. Name another.

Birnam Wood, says Nobby. It travels to Dunsinane.

That's a wood, not a curtain! says Vello.

It has often been played by a curtain, says Nobby.

It's clear that Nobby has an answer for everything, since he became Nobby.

Let's just go with this, papa, says Belle. We're lucky to have such a theatre-buff for a curtain.

True, says Vello. Well, look at the time! We're due for a dress rehearsal back at the office.

Coming Nobby? asks Belle. We could wheel you there on the trolley.

Nobby knows he should not make personal use of a Botanic Gardens trolley. But this is the theatre.

Okay, says Nobby.

I'll pull you, says Terence.

You won't, says Belle.  Arthur will do it.

She calls Arthur, who is still at the Hackney, being quizzed about soil types by random drinkers.

(He knows nothing about soil types).

What grows well in clay? asks a woman.

Oranges and hydrangeas, says Arthur.

She looks surprised.

Just then Arthur gets a phone call and has to leave urgently.