A Mating Dance

Mouldy, First Dirty and Second Dirty take their spider roles seriously.

They hide under detritus.

Baby Pierre cycles by.

You missed us, calls First Dirty.

On purpose, says Baby Pierre. If I found you straight away it would be a short movie.

Do you want us to move? asks Mouldy.

No, stay there, says Baby Pierre. I'll go round again.

That's one good thing about a fig tree.

This time I'm stopping, says Baby Pierre.

Do a stoppie, says Second Dirty.

I was going to, says Baby Pierre. I don't need you to tell me.

You wanted feedback, says Second Dirty.

That's not feedback, says Baby Pierre. That's a suggestion.

Since when did feedback preclude a suggestion?

But Second Dirty says nothing.

Baby Pierre rounds the fig tree and stops with a stoppie.

Ruuurch! A good one.

He expects to get feedback. He waits.

Nothing.

How was that? asks Baby Pierre.

Nothing.

He gets off his bike.

He rummages around in the detritus.

BOO! says Mouldy.

As if! says Baby Pierre.

What, then? says Mouldy. You didn't tell us.

Not BOO, says Baby Pierre. You're a tiny spider with colourful markings. You stay hiding. Or you do a mating dance with each other.

No way! says First Dirty.

Well, just stay hiding, says Baby Pierre. I'll make up some dialogue.

They hide.

Baby Pierre tiptoes up to where he now knows they are hiding.

He is thinking up dialogue. If this was really happening, what would he say?

Probably nothing, in order not to alert the spiders, who might run away.

He thinks that when he sees Grace Swan in the morning he might suggest a voice-over.

There! Under the fig tree! His bicycle!

Well spotted!

It's Elodie and Gaius. They have finished their Italian dinner and come over the road to find him.

Did you fall off?

No, says Baby Pierre. I never fall off.

Heh heh!

I hear laughter, says Gaius. Is someone else out here?

Yes we are, says Mouldy, emerging. We're the spiders. He's trying to find us. We're not allowed to give him suggestions.

This is clearly ridiculous.

Gaius wonders if someone in the restaurant spiked his drink.