Nietzsche Without His Moustache

Adelaide.

Arthur and Sprocket wait for Sweezus in Romeo's café.

Sweezus arrives with a man who looks like Nietzsche, without the moustache.

Yo bro! says Sweezus. How was Western Australia?

Long, says Arthur. Swampy. Spider-riven.

Told you, says Sweezus.

This is Sprocket, says Arthur. Our team hopeful.

Yeah, well, says Sweezus, I haven't looked at his video yet. Been too busy with this guy.

Remember me? asks Nietzsche.

I remember you, says Arthur. Surfing. You were good at it.

Bit cold for that now, says Sprocket, looking out at the wintry landscape. Spiky branches, white sky, cracked dead leaves.

Yeah, says Sweezus. We'll soon be in Brussels. It's hot there.

Sprocket looks at Nietzsche, who without his moustache still looks manly.

You in the team? asks Sprocket.

I'm riding with Team Philosophe, says Nietzsche. As a super-domestique.

Vello's idea, says Sweezus. So, let's take a look at this video.

He takes out his phone. Searches. Finds the video.

Coffee? asks Nietzsche.

He goes off to the counter.

Sprocket watches Sweezus's face.

What's this bit? asks Sweezus.

Date balls, says Sprocket. It's arty at the beginning.

And this bit?

Rabbit gnocchi.

Now we're cooking! says Sweezus. Ziplining through a forest. That you?

Yep, says Sprocket.

Gold toenails?

Had to lose them, admits Sprocket.

Nice one! says Sweezus. That the spider? Looks good in the lamplight. New species?

Might be, says Arthur. Could be Chinese.

No kidding! says Sweezus.

Nietzsche returns with a number sixteen which he plonks on the table.

At last Sweezus gets to the part where Sprocket rides down the sandy bike track at night pursued by Shu with sharp sticks.

Did you speed this up? asks Sweezus.

No, says Sprocket. It was a fold up bicycle, too.

Cool, says Sweezus. You're now in Team Condor.

You have simpler requirements than Vello, observes Nietzsche. I had to ride through many hoops before being selected.

You're an old dude, says Sweezus. What are you, forty eight or something?

Geez! says Sprocket.

Nietzsche sucks his teeth and waits for his espresso.

The higher we soar the smaller we seem to those who can't fly, thinks Nietzsche.

It Does Seem Like Cheating

Jetstar, ready for take off to Adelaide.

Gaius sits next to Elodie.

Elodie has stowed the tin in an overhead locker.

Lavender sits on an arm rest, between Elodie and Gaius.

Arthur sits next to Sprocket, one row behind.

A successful mission completed, says Gaius.

Yes, says Elodie. Will you miss Shu?

Miss him? says Gaius. Of course not.

Have you known him a long time? asks Elodie.

Yes, says Gaius. Arthur and I met him in Beijing, at the Chinese Academy of Sciences. He became fond of both of us. He travelled to Adelaide the following year and accompanied us to Kangaroo Island to view the Emu Bay Shale fossil beds.....

There is a noise in the overhead locker.

Excuse me, says Elodie. I need to stand up.

She opens the overhead locker and takes out the tin.

Sits down again. Takes the lid off.

Baby Pierre's tiny bicycle is in pieces. Mouldy is looking shame-faced. The two Dirties are expressionless.

What have you DONE! says Elodie.

I was trying to ride it, says Mouldy. But it's was too dark.

Lavender looks into the tin from her perch on the arm rest.

You've broken it! says Lavender. It wasn't for you that I got it!

You said you knew a boy who could mind it, says Elodie.

Yes, says Mouldy. I believed it was me.

It wasn't you! says Lavender. It was me!

You're not even a boy, says Mouldy.

Look at me, says Lavender.

He looks. It's true you can't tell what gender a space in the shape of a fossil is.

But it does seem like cheating.

What's going on? asks Gaius. Is something broken?

Baby Pierre's bicycle is broken, says Elodie.

Arthur will fix it, says Gaius. He signals to Arthur, by raising his hand above seat level.

Arthur doesn't notice.

He is talking to Sprocket.

It's all about the team leader, says Arthur.

I get that, says Sprocket. So who's the team leader?

Sweezus, says Arthur. He makes up the tactics.

Like what? Give me an example, says Sprocket.

He rides directly behind us, says Arthur. And so he gets the benefit of our slipstream. Then, when we've got him to where he can win King Of the Mountain, we drop back and he goes for it.

Awesome, says Sprocket. How many times has he won King of the Mountain?

None, yet, says Arthur. But that's his goal.

Gaius is signaling, says Sprocket.

What's up? asks Arthur.

Baby Pierre's bike is in pieces, says Gaius, craning around.

Give it here, says Sprocket. I'll try and fix it.

Elodie hands him the pieces, through the seat gap.

Sprocket gets to work. He is handy with small parts, being from PICA.

How come Baby Pierre isn't taking his bike to China? asks Sprocket, as he tinkers.

Lavender told him it might get stolen, says Arthur. He freaked out and asked her to let some boy mind it.

These are cool wheels, says Sprocket. There! Fixed!

Thanks, Arthur, says Gaius, on receiving the mended bicycle, through the seat gap.

No worries, says Arthur.

China That

They have left Grace Swan in her office.

They are now on their way to the airport, in an Uber.

Sprocket looks rueful.

What's up? asks Arthur.

She's coming, says Sprocket.

Only if you get on the team, says Arthur.

But I will, says Sprocket.

Sure you will, says Arthur.

Gaius too looks rueful.

What's up? asks Elodie. Still fussing about the camper?

Yes, says Gaius. We may find ourselves with a large bill.

Don't pay it, says Elodie. They should be ashamed of those messages.

True, says Gaius.

Shu too looks rueful.

What's up? asks Ar-Lu-Lun.

Nothing, says Shu. If only I had a companion......

You've got me and Baby Pierre, says Ar-Lu-Lun.

A particular companion, says Shu. But it's not to be. That is my sorrow.

Speaking of sorrow, I wish I HAD danced in good lighting, says Ar-Lu-Lun. Imagine!

Imagine what? asks Lavender.

Imagine I had a video of me dancing, in good lighting, says Ar-Lu-Lun. I'd play it to every female maratus I met.

How would they know it was you? asks Lavender.

They'd know by his markings, says Baby Pierre.

You WOULD say that, says Lavender. Are you really going to China?

Yes, says Baby Pierre. The world beckons.

I've already been, says Lavender. Watch out for your bicycle.

Did I ask for advice? says Baby Pierre.

Someone might steal it, says Lavender. You could leave it with me.

No way! says Baby Pierre. It's a BOY'S bike.

I know a boy who would mind it, says Lavender.

Mind it? Which boy?

They have now reached the airport.

Gaius pays the driver.

It's now time to part ways.

Adelaide this way, then Brussels.

China that.

Vinegar And Clippers

Sprocket has finished turpsing the paint from his toenails.

Let me see, dear, says Grace. Oh my goodness, I knew it!

It's the big toes. They look whitish.

I have a cure for it, says Shu. Vinegar and clippers.

See, ma, says Sprocket. No problem.

Hmm, says Grace. It's not that easy to get rid of.

And a special Chinese herb, says Shu.

Sprocket looks grateful.

Better give it to me before you head off to China, says Sprocket.

When is he going? asks Grace.

This afternoon, says Arthur. And we're leaving too.

I still think your video would benefit from the spider mating dance, says Grace. It seems to me the whole point of the project.

He won't just DO it, says Sprocket.

I might, says Ar-Lu-Lun.

Sprocket turns on his camera.

With the right lighting, says Ar-Lu-Lun.

Well, this is precious!

All because he heard Grace say it's amazing what lighting can do.

Do it quickly, says Arthur. We need to get going.

Knock!

There's a knock at the door.

It's Gaius and Elodie. Elodie is carrying a tin.

We meet again, says Grace Swan. I've been hearing about your project.

The deaths you mean? says Gaius. Yes, most unfortunate. But we have Ar-Lu-Lun.

Deaths? No, says Grace. The beautiful mating dance. Ar-Lu is going to perform it, when we set up the lighting.

No he isn't, says Gaius. Because we must leave at once. There's been a problem with the camper.

What? asks Arthur.

They didn't like us painting out the misogynist message, says Gaius.

Really? says Grace. What was the message?

S IF Y, says Gaius. That is the remainder. I leave you to work out the rest. Now they want us to pay for the restoration of the original message

Why not do it yourselves? says Grace. Sprocky could film it for his video.

Ma, says Sprocket, we have to go. I'm riding in the Tour de France next Saturday.

Most of us are, says Gaius.

You can watch it on the telly, ma, says Sprocket.

No need, says Grace Swan. I'll be coming.

Loving But Cross

Sprocket takes off his shoes.

Grace makes a face like a mother.

Loving but cross.

Sprock! says Grace. You know you've got that persistent toe fungus!

Shizz! Forgot, ma, says Sprocket.

It'll have multiplied rapidly, under that gold paint, says Grace.

Yeah, yeah says Sprocket, embarrassed.

Shu has had that same toe fungus, but controlled it with vinegar and careful pruning.

He contemplates speaking up.

But Grace has opened the turps bottle.

Keep the gold question mark on your face if you want to, says Grace, but get that paint off your toenails.

Sprocket takes a tissue from a box on Graces's desk, tips turps onto it and starts rubbing.

Want to see the rest of the video? says Arthur. We have to get going.

Yes, all right, says Grace. Oh this is pretty!

She is looking at Ar-Lu-Lun, aloft in the lamplight, inside his glass jar.

She looks at the actual spider, in the actual jar, which Shu is still holding.

Remarkable, says Grace, what good lighting can do.

It's a very special spider, says Shu. It's going to China. It may be Chinese.

What's special about it? Remind me, says Grace.

It's a type of maratus, says Shu. A peacock spider. The males display beautiful patterns on their abdomens when mating.

When hoping to, says Ar-Lu-Lun.

Is there any footage of this beautiful mating performance? asks Grace.

No, says Sprocket.

I don't wish to interfere with your artistic vision, but couldn't you get some before he goes to China? asks Grace.

(There's a thought that no one has thought of).

We'll do it, says Arthur. Now watch this. This is Sprocket's test Tour de France video.

Grace watches, surprised. Sprocket has never been a keen cyclist. What has happened?

Sprocket rides past the camera, at night, on a fold up bicycle. Sand sprays onto the camera. Shu runs past with sharp sticks, turns and cries No don't film me!

Grace laughs. It's funny. And okay, Shu is running with sticks, which you shouldn't do, but he is an adult.

It's not meant to be funny, ma, says Sprocket, scowling.

You do ride very fast, dear, says Grace.

The Scratch Over

Grace Swan watches the screen.

Sprocket looks over her shoulder.

That's me eating a date ball, while I'm driving the HiLux, says Sprocket

How are the viewers to know you're eating a date ball? asks Grace.

It's subtle, says Sprocket. See my head moving up and down?

Could be the road surface, says Grace.

There'll be a voice-over, says Arthur.

Oh yes? Who will do it? asks Grace.

Lavender says Arthur. She sees things from a different perspective.

That could work, I suppose, says Grace Swan.

Moving on, this is me learning the difference between a thrombolite and a stromatolite, says Sprocket.

It's the top of your head again, says Grace. Who filmed this? Never mind. What is the difference?

If you listen you can hear what I'm hearing , says Sprocket. That's Gaius's voice.

It needs enhancing, says Grace. I just caught the word clotted.

Yep, says Sprocket. We can do that. Can't we Arthur?

Grace hopes Sprocket is not becoming too reliant on Arthur.

Now these are artistic, says Grace. She has seen the photo of the empty table at Café Moka, and the photo of the marina through a glass bottle.

A bit retro, says Sprocket. That was Baby Pierre.

Grace now sees a video of Sprocket trying to open a gold paint tin.

You'll have to cut this, says Grace. That's stolen property.

There's no proof, says Sprocket. Anyway I thought it was PICA's.

Well it wasn't, says Grace. Unless you have some way of disguising that fact, it must go.

We'll do a scratch-over, says Arthur.

And what pray is that?

Like graffiti over a video, says Arthur.

All right, says Grace Swan. That sounds progressive.

Now the video switches to Sprocket explaining his artistic vision. Hidden connections. Gold paint as a metaphor.

Serious stuff.

Nice change of tone, says Grace Swan. If a bit pretentious.

Thanks ma, says Sprocket.

There follows a photo of three Rabbit Gnocchis.

Our lunch the first day, says Sprocket.

A bit Instagrammy, says Grace.

It's all about loss, says Arthur.

Is it? says Grace Swan.

Has she missed something important?

Move on. Sprocket climbing a tuart at night......Sprocket ziplining.... gold toenails.... rope.... white flowers.... Gaius's shadow.

Elodie filmed this. It's dark and suggestive of danger.

But...

Sprocket, show me your toenails at once! says Grace Swan.

The Sentient Pebble

Meanwhile Arthur, Sprocket and Shu have arrived at the Perth Institute of Contemporary Arts.

Sprocket parks the HiLux, and they all go inside.

Shu carries Ar-Lu-Lun in the glass jar. Baby Pierre follows, on his tiny bicycle.

Sprocket barges into the office of his mother Grace Swan without knocking.

Sprocky! says Grace. I'm just in a meeting. Why do you have a gold question mark painted on your forehead? So that's where Cassils' gold paint went......

Sprocket backs out into the corridor.

She's in a meeting, says Sprocket.

Grace appears at the door.

Come back, says Grace. I've cancelled the meeting.

The artist with whom she was meeting walks out of the office, giving Sprocket a glare.

Sprocket re enters the office, with Arthur and Shu and Ar-Lu-Lun, still in the glass jar.

Well, says Grace. How was it? I see you found a spider. Is that all?

No way ma, says Sprocket. I've got heaps of good stuff. It's all here on my phone. Arthur's helping me put it together.

Well done, dear, says Grace. I'd like to see what you have. But first, would you like me to get you some turps?

She doesn't wait for an answer.

It's not that she doesn't like Sprocket painting his face.

But she believes that the paint has been stolen from a departed guest artist.

Which is not a good look for the PICA.

She heads for a store room, on the way passing Baby Pierre.

A pebble on a bicycle! Seems to be controlled remotely. The things they do now!

When she returns with the turps, Baby Pierre is in her office.

My goodness! Is it yours? she asks Shu.

Is what mine? asks Shu.

This pebble on a bicycle, says Grace. I must say it's ingenious.

This is Baby Pierre, says Shu. He is a colleague, and a sentient pebble.

Grace is entranced by the sentient pebble.

The sentient pebble is embarrassed.

Why is she so interested?

Lucky he's going to China.

Here, Sprock, says Grace. Wipe it off, dear.

No, ma, says Sprocket. It's part of my image. I'm going to Brussels.

Brussels? says Grace. What's on there?

Tour de France, says Arthur. Sprocket's our new team member.

Subject to approval, says Sprocket. My test video's tacked onto my doco. Want to see it?

I certainly do, says Grace. Who will be paying your expenses?

The doco should win an art prize, says Sprocket. Eventually.

Should it? asks Grace. Let me see.

Sprocket hands her his phone, ready for viewing. Press here, says Sprocket.

She presses.

Floating Coconut Wisdom

Get him, says First Dirty.

Second Dirty had been about to jump in.

And so the course of history is decided.

Elodie goes back to the camper, for the tin and something to use as a scoop.

Finding nothing better, she uses the tin lid.

Bloop ~~~bye~~~, says the thrombolite closest to Mouldy.

Mouldy rises.

Mouldy now lies in the tin.

Mouldy, says First Dirty. Why do you look so pale?

Mouldy is silent.

Mouldy, says Second Dirty, I was going to jump into the water and join you.

Why didn't you? asks Mouldy.

Was it good? asks Second Dirty.

Good is not a word we use under the water, says Mouldy. We lie. Bits of coconut float by. Sometimes we're lucky.

So you use the word lucky, says Elodie.

Mouldy ignores her.

She places the tin on the back seat of the camper. Lavender is there.

Gaius starts the engine. He wants to get to Perth quickly.

They move forward, in a northerly direction.

Lavender can't see into the tin, even with the lid off. She peers in through the air hole.

Hey! says Lavender. How come you're all here?

My decision, says First Dirty. I asked Elodie to get him.

Yes, says Second Dirty. His decision. I was about to jump in. I would have spent the rest of my life with the thrombolites, next to my friend.

Not this friend, says First Dirty.

That's why I didn't, says Second Dirty.

And so fate intervened, says Mouldy. I can't say I was happy.

Because you don't use words like happy, says First Dirty. I respect that. I know that you've changed.

He's got wisdom, says Second Dirty. Haven't you Mouldy?

Mouldy is starting to think that he has.

After all he was down there with the thrombolites for an indeterminate period. He must have learned something. Not just the floating coconut thing, that was silly. What has he learned? Patience....paced blooping?

I've got wisdom. I know the future, says Lavender.

She doesn't , says First Dirty.

I do, says Lavender. Want to hear it?

Most people do want to hear it.

They do.

We're going to Perth, says Lavender. And then we'll fly to Adelaide, with everyone. But not Shu. Then we're all going to Brussels.

That's your future, says First Dirty. What's ours?

Together forever, says Lavender. Under the stinky tree opposite Bailey's Motel. That's your future. Are you sad?

The Dirties and Mouldy have to think about this for a moment.

Back to where Baby Pierre found them.

The dangerous park.

They are sad.

In The Half World Between

It's about four hours drive from Lake Jasper to Perth, if you don't have to stop at Lake Clifton.

Those in the HiLux do not.

In the HiLux, Arthur receives a phone call.

Hi, says Elodie, it's me. Want to stop off in Mandurah?

What for? asks Arthur.

To wait for us. We're dropping the Dirties off at Lake Clifton.

Can't, says Arthur. We have a tight schedule.

Since when? asks Elodie.

Since Shu has to get to Perth airport by one thirty to catch his flight to Beijing, says Arthur.

Do I? says Shu, unaware of this new condition.

Arthur waves a hand to shut him up.

Okay, says Elodie. See you guys in Perth.

One thirty! says Shu. I had no idea!

Did you want to stop in Mandurah? asks Arthur.

I wouldn't have minded, says Shu.

In the camper, Elodie and Gaius look for the turn-off.

There it is now.

Soon they arrive at Lake Clifton. There is the boardwalk. There are the thrombolites.

Same as they've ever been.

Okay, a quick drop off, says Elodie, opening the tin.

The Dirties are joyful. Lake Clifton. Our friend Mouldy will be here!

Elodie carries the Dirties to the boardwalk.

Bloop bloop.

A thrombolite recognises them.

They remember you, says Elodie. Are you going to ask them about Mouldy?

No, says First Dirty. He'll come up when he sees us

Yes, says Second Dirty. He'll know.

Mouldy has been under water for days now, in a half world between stone and living fossil.

He sees his friends through the distortion of water.

But he has lost the will to rise to the surface.

He lies, looking up at his friends.

There he is, says First Dirty. Come up, champ!

He can't, says Elodie. Do you want me to get him?

Or will you both jump in?

On The Breeze Somewhere

Are we bringing the Dirties? asks Elodie.

Of course, says Gaius, if they wish to come.

They do! says Lavender. They want to be dropped off at Lake Clifton.

How annoying, says Gaius. Where are they now?

Over there, says Lavender, pointing.

She has her own way of pointing.

Elodie climbs down from the passenger seat of the camper, and goes over to the spot where the poncho lay, before it was folded by Arthur.

Coming, Dirties? You can go in the tin.

Wait, says First Dirty. We were just saying goodbye to Felix.

Hurry up then, says Elodie.

Goodbye Felix, says First Dirty. Wherever you are. On the breeze somewhere.

That was a cool eulogy, says Second Dirty. Now it's my turn.

Hurry UP! says Elodie.

Goodbye Felix, says Second Dirty. Wherever you are. Smeared on the sand somewhere

That's enough! says Elodie, scooping them up and carrying them across to the camper, where they are dropped in a tin.

To Lake Clifton! shouts First Dirty.

But first, says Gaius, starting the engine, we must drive into Pemberton and find David. We can't leave him there.

No need, says Elodie. I called him. He said not to bother.

In a huff no doubt, says Gaius. I blame myself.

He's back in Adelaide, says Elodie. He didn't sound huffy.

Good,  says Gaius. Did he mention me at all?

Yes, he said Vello wants you back asap, says Elodie. They've got a fourth team member, and they need to talk team tactics.

Gaius reverses out of the campsite, and onto a sand track, then lurches forward.

I'm not used to this type of vehicle, says Gaius.

Follow the HiLux, says Elodie.

The HiLux is ahead of them, Baby Pierre is looking out of the back window.

Gaius is a really bad driver, says Baby Pierre.

Shu, on the back seat beside him, cranes round to look too.

You're lucky, says Baby Pierre.

I do not feel lucky, says Shu.

Baby Pierre does not reply.

Perhaps it's a tactic.

Why am I lucky? asks Shu.

It WAS a tactic.

Because, says Baby Pierre, you're in the HiLux, and Sprocket can drive. Also you're going to China with Ar-Lu-Lun. And I've never been to China.

China is beautiful, says Shu. Mountains, bamboo thickets, old iron gates, bright yellow leaves, rivers and seas, lamps and raindrops, willow cotton, old friends pouring wine..........

I would go, says Baby Pierre.

Would you? asks Shu.

Ar-Lu-Lun in his glass jar hears nothing of this conversation.

But he would not mind.

The Interplay Of Spaces

Gaius wants to make an early start .

After a breakfast of cold smoked trout and water, the campers start packing.

Elodie gathers up the empty smoked goods containers, the empty date ball packet, the empty rolled wafer tin and a red pencil.

Whose is this red pencil?

Mine! says Gaius. Well done, Elodie. I was beginning to think that I'd lost it.

He shoves it into his shorts pocket.

All done are we? Except for the poncho. Arthur, will you fold it up?

Arthur wonders why he is the one asked to fold up the poncho.

Answer: It's because of the pencil. Gaius's thinking goes: Red pencil...yes....always rely on Arthur....to produce whatever's needed....good lad.....haven't rewarded him lately... give him a job...show him I value him....poncho needs folding....yes.

Arthur would be surprised by this thinking.

Not least because he did not produce the red pencil.

Not this time and not earlier.

It was Raoul's.

Nevertheless, Arthur picks up the poncho, and starts folding.

Lavender is watching.

She likes the interplay of spaces and folds.

About time! says First Dirty. About TIME! says Second Dirty.

Were you guys under there all the time? asks Lavender.

Not ALL the time, says First Dirty. Just since you gave our smashed baked bean to Felix.

Yeah, says Second Dirty. Just all the time that went by after that.

That was yesterday afternoon and last night, says Lavender. Heaps has happened. Felix has died.

He shouldn't have eaten it, says First Dirty.

He died on the bike track, says Lavender. Not of eating your stupid bean but of careless human footwork.

The Dirties are silent.

They know about careless human footwork.

Anyway, says Lavender, we're all going home now.

Good, say the Dirties. Can we be dropped off at Lake Clifton?

Sure, says Lavender.

Everyone ready? says Gaius. Who's going in which vehicle? I'll drive the camper. Where are the keys?

I've got them, says Arthur. David left them with me.

David! Did he? says Gaius. Where is he? Has he fallen into Lake Jasper?

No, says Arthur. We left him in Pemberton yesterday. He said he'd done enough camping.

How remiss of me not to notice, says Gaius. Right, so who's coming with me?

I will, says Elodie. And Lavender. Baby Pierre can go with Arthur and Sprocket in the HiLux.

Shu hopes that Arthur will insist on him travelling in the HiLux with them.

But Arthur doesn't.

Shu must go in the Hilux , says Gaius. He has Ar-Lu-Lun in his care. The HiLux is better sprung, so it will be safer.

And the Dirties?

Who cares about them?

Famous Beyond Yoondadadup

The dark cold night glitters with stars.

The waters of Yoondadadup (Lake Jasper) cradle ten types of freshwater fish, eight of which are endemic.

The waters of Yoondadadup ripple to the craarkings of eight wetland frogs.

The waters of Yoondadadup encircle the skinny legs of twenty eight waterbird species.

The moon flits away. The sun fingers the horizon.

It's morning!

In the HiLux, Arthur wakes up feeling stiff.

Elodie wakes up beside him.

Gaius climbs out of the camper.

Morning all, says Gaius. Early start today. Quick breakfast? We should finish off those smoked goods.

That was the coldest night ever! says Elodie. And the thought of cold smoked goods turns me right off for some reason.

Arthur, says Gaius. Why are you walking like that?

Arthur doesn't know. He looks down at his legs. The blood has dried in long trickles, which are currently cracking.

You need a wash, that's all, says Elodie. Go down to the water. Take this sponge.

Arthur takes the sponge and heads down to the water.

Shu and Sprocket emerge from the rooftop tent via the camper.

They too walk stiffly.

Dried blood, says Gaius. Follow Arthur. He has the sponge.

They follow Arthur to the shores of Yoondadadup, Lake Jasper.

They wipe off the dried blood with the sponge.

Raoul paddles by in the canoe that belongs to his father.

Tiny specks of blood float in the water. Raoul sees them.

See that. That's iron, says Raoul.

No one contradicts him.

Dad and me are leaving this morning, says Raoul.

So are we, says Arthur.

Look after my spider, says Raoul

I will, says Shu.

Your spider's in my documentary, says Sprocket. It'll be famous even if it's not a new species.

Am I in it? asks Raoul.

No, do you want to be in it? asks Sprocket.

Yes, says Raoul. You can film me canoeing.

Sprocket takes out his phone, and films him canoeing.

Lucky boy. He'll be famous as well.

Problematical Mothers

In the tent above the camper, Shu stirs.

Uurh!

Is it a dream?

He turns on his side.

He moves closer to Arthur.

If he breathes now, Arthur will feel it. He breathes.

Sprocket stirs, feeling warm breath on his neck.

Mother? Mother, I'm bleeding.

It's a dream. His mother caresses his wound. It's only minor. He tells her about his adventures.

Dream Sprocket: I'm in the real Tour de France. You'll be able to watch on the telly.

Dream Mother: No need to watch on the telly. I'll come.

Dream Sprocket (shouting): 'Don't come!'

Shu's eyes snap open.

Ai! It's not Arthur. He's gone.

Shu lies awake for ten minutes, then drifts into his own dream.

In it, his only friend is a spider.

......

Elodie can't sleep. It's cold in the HiLux.

Arthur climbs in, not expecting to see her.

I thought you were sleeping in the camper, says Arthur.

I thought you were sleeping in the rooftop tent, says Elodie.

I was, says Arthur, But I can't sleep between two people.

So why were you in the middle? asks Elodie.

Arthur doesn't answer.

Anyway, says Elodie, if you were up there and now you're out here, you must have noticed I wasn't in the camper.

Didn't register, says Arthur. I was racking my brains over something.

Yeah, what? asks Elodie.

You know what, says Arthur.

I don't, says Elodie.

Not you, says Arthur. Me. Sweezus asked me if he should mention you-know-what to Nietzsche and I said no, don't, but I couldn't actually remember what you-know-what was.

Mm, could be anything, says Elodie. Wow! does he really know Nietzsche?

Yes, says Arthur. Nietzsche rode for Team Philosophe once. Then he came surfing with us at Middleton.

Okay, says Elodie. So you-know-what was something that occurred about then?

Must've been, says Arthur. Surfing-with-Whales was there. So was his mother.

Surfing-with-Whales is a person? asks Elodie. Bet I know what his job is.

One of them, says Arthur. His mother owns a craft shop, and does Reiki.

She sounds awesome, says Elodie. Did she do Reiki on Nietzsche?

Arthur is beginning to remember the story.

The groin injury, the massage, and what followed.

They fell in love? says Elodie. Then he had to go back where he came from? Now he's back and Sweezus wants to know if he should mention it?

Something like that, says Arthur.

It's so romantic, says Elodie.

Arthur yawns.

Have you stopped bleeding? asks Elodie. You shouldn't fight with sticks. Shall I give you a massage?

It's very cold in the HiLux.

Arthur lets Elodie give him a massage.

Cold On Her Own

It's time to turn in.

What are the sleeping arrangements? asks Gaius.

I'll sleep in the HiLux, says Arthur.

Me too, says Sprocket.

Arthur can hardly say no. It's Sprocket's Hilux.

At least, it belongs to his mother.

Shu looks disappointed.

There's plenty of room in the rooftop tent on the camper, says Shu.

I'll sleep up there with you, says Gaius. That means Elodie can have the inside of the camper.

Lovely, says Elodie. But I don't mind sharing.

You'll be sharing with Baby Pierre and Lavender, says Gaius. I'll take Ar-Lu-Lun.

Bye, says Raoul. I'm walking back to dad's campsite.

On your own? says Elodie. I'll go with you.

You don't need to, says Raoul. I'm not scared.

I know, says Elodie. But it's nice to have company.

She and Raoul walk off together.

Gaius clambers into the rooftop tent. Shu hands him Ar-Lu-Lun in the jar.

I'll be up soon, says Shu.

Nighty-night, says Gaius. A good day, over all.

Not for most of my cohort, thinks Ar-Lu-Lun. But for me it has been.

Shu turns to Arthur.

You didn't applaud at the end of the video, says Shu.

I was struck with remorse, says Arthur.

Shu can't believe it. Remorse.

Will Arthur continue?

I've tended to avoid you, says Arthur.

You have, agrees Shu.

But now you're going back to China, says Arthur.

I am, says Shu. It seems there's nothing more for me here.

That's right, says Arthur. But since you're going, how would you like to spend this last night in the HiLux.

With you? asks Shu.

That depends, says Arthur. I need knee room. I might start off in the HiLux. Bring your sharp sticks.

Hey, says Sprocket. Do I get any input?

Sure, says Arthur. Whenever you like.

How will this end? The three of them in the back of the HiLux, with sticks.

........

Half an hour later. Elodie returns to the campsite.

It's silent.

She climbs into the camper. Gaius is there, his head on a cushion.

Shh! says Gaius. They're sleeping upstairs.

Not in the HiLux? asks Elodie.

They started off there, says Gaius. Then one by one they came here.

How come? asks Elodie.

All bleeding, says Gaius. It's those cursed sticks Shu insisted on bringing.

Are they okay though?

Of course they are, says Gaius. I hope you don't mind me sleeping down here. Up there it was getting top heavy.

No worries, says Elodie. But I might sleep in the HiLux.

If you do, take a sponge, says Gaius.

Elodie takes a sponge, and two cushions, and heads for the HiLux.

She wipes the floor clean of blood and lies down.

She gazes up at the stars.

It's cold on her own in the HiLux.

Turning Sideways While Running

It's night time, at Lake Jasper.

Wetland frogs croak softly.

Waterbirds sleep.

Spiders lie low, having had bad experiences lately.

Hai! Hai!

Raoul awakes.

Someone is cycling up the bike track, as fast as possible, in sand.

The person does a wheelie.

Sweeerrch! Vroom! Sand sprays on Raoul.

Gone. But he can still hear Hai! Hai!

Argh!

Has there been an accident? Raoul unzips his sleeping bag, and heads down the bike track.

Sprocket is re-unfolding the fold up bicycle which folded up when he fell off.

Shu is apologising.

You've got sharp sticks! says Raoul. Are you fighting?

No, says Shu. Sprocket is practising for the Tour de France. I'm assisting.

Wow! says Raoul. Can I help?

No, says Shu.

Maybe, says Sprocket. Could you run ahead to those reeds and film me speeding past you?

Sure, says Raoul.

He takes Sprocket's phone and runs ahead to the reed clump.

Sprocket remounts and speeds off towards Gaius's camp site.

Raoul presses 'video', and hopes that it works in the dark.

Shu starts running after Sprocket, with sharp sticks extended.

Are you meant to be in it? asks Raoul.

What? says Shu, turning sideways while running.

Something one should not ever do with sharp sticks.

No, don't film me! calls Shu over his shoulder.

Hai! Hai!

Raoul follows Shu all the way back to Gaius's campsite, because he has the video.

Elodie, Gaius and Arthur are sitting on the poncho, eating Portuguese smoked chicken, and drinking bottled spring water.

Ar-Lu-Lun is asleep in his glass bottle.

Lavender and Baby Pierre watch him sleep

He doesn't breathe, says Lavender.

Not in there, says Baby Pierre.

Perhaps he's dead too, says Lavender.

They only breathe when they're moving, says Baby Pierre. That's when air goes through. But they can go a long time without breathing.

I hope so, says Lavender. It's a long way to China.

She knows that because she has been.

Sprocket, Shu and Raoul arrive, in that order.

How did it go? asks Arthur.

Good, I think, says Sprocket. Let's see the video.

Raoul plays it, as they all crowd around.

Here comes Sprocket, speeding through the darkness, legs pumping. Reeds. A fine spray of sand. Hai!Hai! Here comes Shu with sharp sticks extended, turning to the camera, saying No don't film me. Will he trip over? No, he is an expert at running with sticks.

Everyone applauds except Arthur.

Chased With Sharp Sticks

I'm not busy, says Sprocket. I could fit the Tour de France in.

Great, says Arthur, as though everything is sorted.

Shouldn't you call Sweezus and okay it with him? asks Elodie.

Arthur thinks it's a good suggestion. He calls Sweezus.

Arthur! What's up?

Are we still short one rider? asks Arthur.

Yep, says Sweezus. Pablo can't come.

There's this guy, says Arthur. He's an artist, and he's skinny.

Yeah? says Sweezus. Can he ride?

Arthur thinks there's no harm in saying yes to this question.

Yes, says Arthur.

Okay, says Sweezus. Get him to send me a video. Then I'll decide.

He's working on one at the moment, says Arthur. For the Perth Institute of Contemporary Arts.

Cool, says Sweezus. He can send me that, as long as there's footage of him riding a bicycle in it.

There will be, says Arthur. So how's things?

Average, says Sweezus. The boss's got Nietzsche in the office. I'm supposed to be interviewing him.
I don't know whether to mention you know what or pretend it didn't happen.

Pretend it didn't happen, says Arthur. Let him move on.

Thanks buddy, says Sweezus. You're a good mate. Yeah, let him mention it if he wants to.

Let him, says Arthur.

He tries to remember what it was.

When are you getting back? asks Sweezus.

Late tomorrow, says Arthur. Or thereabouts.

Awesome, says Sweezus. We're getting new outfits. So you reckon Sprocket is skinny?

Fairly skinny, says Arthur. Got to go. Gaius just handed me a spider.

Freak me out! says Sweezus. Glad it's you and not me. See ya!

The call ends.

It's a dead spider, not one of the runaways. Arthur rolls it between two of his fingers.

Am I in? asks Sprocket.

Yes, says Arthur. But first he wants to see a video. You can send him the doco.

My doco? asks Sprocket. Why?

It'll impress him, says Arthur. You can tack on a sequence of you climbing and sprinting.

There's no bike here, says Sprocket. Mine's back in Perth.

So we'd better get going tonight, says Arthur.

Ai! Shu doesn't want his last night with Arthur to be aborted.

There's a fold-up bicycle in the camper, says Shu. I'll get it.

A fold-up! says Arthur.

That'll be good, says Sprocket. I can practise my moves on it. Set the scenes up, do the blocking....

I'll assist you, says Shu. Would it help if someone chased you?

Uh? says Sprocket.

With sharp sticks? says Shu.

Surely The End Days

Arthur is about to ask Sprocket if he's any good on a bicycle.

To which Sprocket would have said, no.

But there is an interruption.

Gaius returns with Shu.

Good news! says Gaius.

Bad news, says Elodie.

Bad news first, says Gaius.

Baby Pierre found four more dead spiders on the track between here and Markus's camp site, says Elodie. I've recovered them. Here they are on the tin.

Dear me, says Gaius. Did it appear that they died of natural causes?

If your shoe prints are natural causes, says Elodie.

Gaius looks at the soles of his Crocs.

Shu looks at his sandals.

Marati are small, and leave miniscule traces, but yes, it is possible.

We were preoccupied, says Gaius. But that's no excuse. I am heartily sorry. Now for the good news.

That's not the end of the bad news, says Elodie.

Go on, says Gaius.

The fifteen female spiders have run away into the shrubbery, except for one that Arthur demolished.

My fault, says Sprocket. I let them out.

The fourteen female spiders in the shrubbery count off.

Fourteen! Another one gone. These are surely the end days!

They disperse, to follow their own single fates, in different directions, avoiding only the bike track, which is sensible.

So what's the good news? asks Elodie.

Markus and Raoul have agreed to let Shu take Ar-Lu-Lun back to China, says Gaius.

Why is that good news? asks Elodie.

It will allow us to establish whether Ar-Lu-Lun is a maratus furvus, or a new species, says Gaius.

Where is Ar-Lu-Lun? asks Elodie.

Here, in this glass bottle, says Shu, holding it aloft in the lantern light.

Arthur admires it. So does Sprocket.

It's a thick round preserving jar scattering light beams, and holding a priceless spider.

Arthur nudges Sprocket.

Sprocket takes out his phone.

This reminds Gaius:

Did you get Sweezus's message?

Yes, says Arthur. How long have we got?

Three weeks, says Gaius. I suppose we ought to think about getting some practice.

What's happening? asks Sprocket.

Tour de France, says Arthur. We're in it. And we're short one rider. Are you busy?

No, says Sprocket, but I...

Wait Sprocket. Don't let that stop you.

It would be beyond awesome, and totally make your career as an artist.

And even better, impress your mother, Grace Swan.

Hilarity Or Wailing

Lavender is put out by the spider legs blowing away.

Elodie will be disappointed.

But minding the spider legs isn't the main thing.

What did Elodie say?

Give Arthur the message.

There's a message! says Lavender.

What is it? asks Arthur.

What is it? asks Sprocket, at the same time.

It's for Arthur, says Lavender.

Sprocket loses interest. The message isn't for him.

Sprocket is sitting on the poncho next to the tin.

He hears sounds of hilarity, coming from it.

He lowers his ear to the air hole, which he has noticed.

Now he can hear better.

It isn't hilarity. It's wailing.

He lifts up the tin.

Lavender could have prevented him, in normal circumstances, by saying: Don't lift up the tin! Fifteen spiders are in it!

But she is giving Arthur the message, which is in two parts and hard to remember.

"Short one. Any suggestions?"

Who's it from? asks Arthur.

Elodie, says Lavender.

Weird, says Arthur.

A female spider runs over his shoe.

He whacks it without thinking. Her legs fly off in several directions.

The other fourteen run for the shrubbery.

You let them out! cries Lavender.

They were wailing, says Sprocket.

It took us AGES to catch them, says Lavender.

Honestly!

Elodie returns with four squashed spiders.

She places the four squashed spiders on top of the tin.

She doesn't yet know the tin is empty.

Hello Arthur. Did Lavender give you the message? asks Elodie.

Short one, says Arthur. What does that mean?

It means your team is short of one rider, says Elodie, and he wonders if you have any suggestions.

Who wonders? says Arthur.

Can he really have forgotten?

Is he so involved with Sprocket's artistic vision, that he's forgotten the Tour De France and his commitment to Team Condor and his team captain, Sweezus?

His role model?

Only temporarily.

Arthur does have a suggestion. Assuming that Sprocket can ride.

He Was But He Didn't Do That

Baby Pierre arrives back at the camp site where Elodie is waiting for Arthur and Sprocket.

She is idly rearranging the dead maratus cristatus.

Some of his legs have dropped off.

Lavender is helping, because they keep blowing away.

She catches them and places them into her little shell segments.

It's very good of you to do this, says Elodie. I know those are your spaces.

Lavender doesn't mind having spider legs in her spaces, temporarily.

But it's nice to be thanked.

The dead maratus cristatus won't do it.

And now here is Baby Pierre.

It has taken him some time to drop his bike and walk over slowly.

It's not like him to be slow.

What's up? asks Elodie. You look dejected.

I am dejected, says Baby Pierre.

So are we, says Lavender. We're joining up a spider that never should have come apart.

Maybe not never, says Elodie. But he did die too early.

He's not the only one, says Baby Pierre. Remember Felix?

Of course they remember Felix. He looked like a clown, or a cat.

Felix! says Elodie. I thought he was going to spend the rest of his life as a hermit.

He was, says Baby Pierre. But he didn't do that.

What happened? asks Elodie.

Stepped on, says Baby Pierre. Along with his girlfriend. And a bit further along, two more female spiders, also stepped on.

This is terrible, says Elodie. Can you show me?

Baby Pierre goes slowly back to his bike.

Lavender, says Elodie, keep an eye on the tin with the fifteen female spiders. And if Arthur comes back while I'm away, give him the message.

Sure, says Lavender.

Elodie and Baby Pierre disappear into the shadows.

Lavender tries to remember the message.

Minutes later, headlights light up the camp site.

Arthur and Sprocket have come back.

They get out of the Hilux, laughing.

They walk over to the poncho.

They plop down, creating a breeze.

It's not their fault that spider legs float up and away in every direction.

But it is Sprocket's fault what happens next, to the tin.

The Essence Of Science

The baked bean dinner is over.

Markus brews some bush tea.

Gaius picks up the glass jar that Ar-Lu-Lun is confined in.

Shu holds up page two.

They compare Ar-Lu-Lun with Gaius's sketch of the maratus furvus.

What is the meaning of furvus? asks Shu.

Dusky, says Gaius.

Ar-Lu-Lun is sure he is dusky.

He doesn't look dusky, says Shu.

It could be the light, says Gaius. But his eyes are dissimilar as well.

Baby Pierre has already observed this.

Or it could be your drawing, says Shu.

It could well be, says Gaius. It was a rushed job, with an inadequate pencil.

Inadequate pencil, says Shu. I don't meant to be rude but what is an inadequate pencil?

The bane of my life, mutters Gaius.

He wonders where Arthur is now.

Why has Arthur spent most of the weekend going back and forth between Lake Jasper and Pemberton?

Why does he prefer the company of Sprocket?

There is nothing wrong with Sprocket, of course, but his mission is secondary. Albeit artistic.

Arthur is artistic.

Gaius supposes that may have something to do with the reason.

What do you think? asks Markus.

He is artistic, says Gaius.

Is he? asks Markus, surprised. How can you tell?

Apologies, says Gaius. I was thinking of Arthur, who would have been able to lay hands on an adequate pencil, not that that helps us now.

Markus does not reply to this apology.

I've got a pencil, says Raoul.

He opens his Spiderman back pack, and takes out a red pencil.

I don't normally use a red pencil, says Gaius. But thank you, Raoul.

What do you want it for anyway? asks Shu. Are you thinking of altering your drawing to look more like our prize specimen?

Certainly not! says Gaius. I wish to note each point of difference.

Who could argue with that?

It's the essence of science.

Whisked Away For His Views

Not to worry.

Gaius and Shu arrive at Markus's campsite.

They are invited to partake of baked beans.

Ar-Lu-Lun and first and second female spiders, (the lucky ones), converse through the glass jar.

There were twenty of us in the beginning, says first female spider.

That depends on which moment you choose as the beginning, says Ar-Lu-Lun.

Too philosophical, says second female spider. You know what we mean. Then there were five. But three of us made bad choices.

I know nothing of this, says Ar-Lu-Lun.

You know we arrived on a bicycle, says second female spider.

Baby Pierre's bicycle, says Ar-Lu-Lun. I know.

Where are they now? asks first female spider. Unless they were mortally injured, they ought to have got here.

Perhaps Baby Pierre knows, says Ar-Lu-Lun. Although I always say two female spiders is one too many.

We know why you were whisked away to this camp site, says first female spider. It was for exactly those views.

So why follow me? asks Ar-Lu-Lun.

On a whim, says second female spider. We decided to give you a second viewing.

Spare me, says Ar-Lu-Lun.

And now you are going to China, says first female spider.

AM I? says Ar-Lu-Lun. His round eyes grow even rounder.

We don't know for sure, says first female spider. But something's up. Gaius has brought that Chinese guy.

Oh, HIM! says Ar-Lu-Lun. He's just an old poet.

No, says first female spider. He knows about spiders. Listen.

They listen.

The humans are eating baked beans.

Shu is speaking.

Yes, says Shu. I am endlessly yearning to be in Changan. I may return soon to China.

Perhaps you could do some research for me while you are there, says Gaius.

Certainly, says Shu.

That doesn't prove anything, whispers Ar-Lu-Lun.

But before, whispers first female spider, he was talking about the high protein level in female spiders' milk.

Was he? asks Ar-Lu-Lun. I didn't hear that. Nor do I know if it's true.

Of course it's true! say both female spiders.

And it's true that Shu said it.

He heard it from Elodie, who'd read it.

Darker And Darker

Markus and Raoul prepare dinner.

The end of the day is approaching.

Baby Pierre rides through the gathering gloom, without a bike light.

Darker and darker. He passes third and fifth female spiders, who were flung off his spokes earlier.

They see him but he does not see them.

What does this mean? wonder third and fifth female spiders. Do we proceed, or turn back?

They consider.

Who will be at each end?

Ar-Lu-Lun and first and second female spider, at the far end of the bike track.

Baby Pierre, Gaius and the dead maratus cristatus at the start.

They decide to keep going.

Baby Pierre gathers speed.

He passes Felix and fourth female spider who are heading in the same direction as he is.

They see him but he does not see them.

Looks like we're on the right track, my darling, says Felix.

I always believed it, my darling, says she.

Baby Pierre arrives at Gaius's campsite.

Elodie has found a camp lantern, and the camp site is bathed in flickering shadows.

Gaius is talking to someone, on his phone.

No, says Gaius. I don't know. Gone to a protest meeting in Pemberton. Yes I will. Do you want me to give him a message?  Dedalus's dateballs! Are you sure? What day is it? Yes of course I am. Goodbye Sweezus, no doubt I'll see you in Brussels.

Baby Pierre skids to a halt in the sand.

Sand sprays onto the tin with the air hole.

It's the tin containing the other fifteen female spiders, unless they have gone back on their promise to Lavender.

We won't know, until someone lifts the tin and looks under.

Baby Pierre! says Gaius. What news?

Ar-Lu-Lun may be Chinese! says Baby Pierre. He's in a glass jar. Markus has invited you over.

I say! says Gaius. That would be a mystery worth solving! Shu! Come out of the camper, will you?

Shu emerges from the camper, where he has been rearranging the cushions. Arthur's head would go here. That's if he ever.....

What is it? asks Shu. Are they back yet?

Not yet, says Gaius. But Baby Pierre's brought some news. Ar-Lu-Lun may be Chinese. I'd like you to come with me to Markus's camp site.

I'll come! says Elodie.

I'd rather you stay here and keep an eye on the female spiders, says Gaius. And be here when Sprocket and Arthur return. There's a message for Arthur from Sweezus.

I could wait here, and she could go with you, says Shu,

But you have the advantage of being Chinese, says Gaius.

So it's decided.

Shu and Gaius tramp along the bike track towards Markus's camp site.

They do not have a lantern or torch.

They are busy discussing what's to be done if Ar-Lu-Lun turns out to be a maratus furvus.

They are not watching their feet.

Usually careful of such things, tonight they are careless, and squash several tiny spiders travelling on the bike track in various directions....

Not Round The Eyes

Raoul and Markus return to the campsite, both looking relieved.

How's our prize specimen spider? asks Markus, when he reaches the jar.

He can see his prize specimen spider looks worried.

He's worried, says Baby Pierre. He thinks you've buried Gaius's page two notes.

Markus understands the implication.

Not at all, says Markus. Raoul didn't need it. And even if he had, I should have prevented the paper being used in that way.

Raoul looks sheepish.

No one asks Raoul what he did use.

Some things are best to gloss over.

Baby Pierre is therefore able to see Gaius's sketch of the Chinese jumping spider (maratus furvus) and compare it with the prize specimen spider, Ar-Lu-Lun.

It does look like him.

Perhaps not round the eyes though.

Baby Pierre voices his doubts.

Interesting to hear your opinion, says Markus. We would prefer him to be a new species. Of course, should he turn out to be Chinese, that would be a coup as well.

Win-win. Ar-Lu-Lun experiences double happiness.

The two female spiders who accompanied Baby Pierre on his bicycle to the camp site also look happy.

It's lovely to know a celebrity.

They almost wish he would dance.

Of course he doesn't.

What now? asks Baby Pierre. Do you write a report for a scientific journal?

We post his photo on Facebook, says Raoul.

Not yet, says Markus, I'd like to confer further with Gaius.

I'll go back and tell him, says Baby Pierre. He'll probably come over.

He hops on his bike.

Leave us here, say first and second female spider.

I was going to, says Baby Pierre.

You don't mind if they stay? Markus asks his prize specimen spider.

(Best not to upset him).

I don't mind, says Ar-Lu-Lun. As long as they remain outside the glass.

The female spiders agree that they will.

Markus and Raoul set about preparing some dinner.

Baked beans again.

The Rise And Fall Of Fact One

Felix and fourth female spider are so far behind we can't see them.

Perhaps they have stopped.

Third and fifth female spider are still following the bike tracks.

Time to drop in on Group A.

Baby Pierre and his two passengers arrive at the campsite.

The two passengers hop off.

Ar-Lu-Lun looks out from his new position as a prized specimen spider.

A glass jar.

The glass jar is on a rock, next to a Spiderman back pack, and a larger one, from Kathmandu.

Gaius's notes lie open, at page three.

First and second female spider run towards Ar-Lu-Lun.

They stop when they reach the glass jar.

Great excitement! says Ar-Lu-Lun.

Not really, says first female spider. Just an informal visit.

I meant about me, says Ar-Lu-Lun. There is great excitement.

Baby Pierre has dropped his bicycle a short distance from the jar.

He joins the two female spiders, face to face (through glass) with Ar-Lu-Lun.

Do you have to be in there? asks Baby Pierre.

I guess not, says Ar-Lu-Lun. There's no lid on my apartment.

Ha ha, apartment! laughs the second female spider.

Want to come out? asks Baby Pierre. We could arrange it.

No thanks says Ar-Lu-Lun. I'll stay here for as long as it takes.

The great excitement? says Baby Pierre. Let me guess. They think you're a new species. Where are they?

Comfort stop, says Ar-Lu-Lun. Raould needs to defecate. They're digging a hole somewhere.

Wooh! says Baby Pierre. Is that allowed here?

Raoul was in a hurry, says Ar-Lu-Lun. Anyway, they'll be back soon. The big story is, I might be Chinese.

First and second female don't think that could be possible.

But Baby Pierre is willing to consider it.

Yes, says Baby Pierre. And you could be from the moon, but how likely is it? What facts support you being Chinese?

Two facts, says Ar-Lu-Lun.

What are they? asks Baby Pierre.

It occurs to him that he has a vested interest. He found Ar-Lu-Lun in the first place. although Ar-Lu-Lun disputes this.

Fact one, says Ar-Lu-Lun, there is picture of me in Gaius's notes, or shall we say, a picture of one of my species. Maratus furvus.

Let's see, says Baby Pierre.

Yes, let's see, say the two female spiders.

Wait, says Ar-Lu-Lun. You haven't heard fact two yet.

What is it? asks Baby Pierre.

My name, says Ar-Lu-Lun. Where did it come from if I'm not of Chinese origin?

Fact two is less convincing.

Correction, it would be if fact one could be verified.

But where is the image in question, when it's needed?

It could be, worst case scenario, on page two.

 It could be that Raoul, in dire need of some paper, has hurriedly ripped off page two, before following his father.

And that fact one, at this very moment, is being rendered inadmissible.

Science Names Secret Names

Did Baby Pierre pass you? asks third female spider.

Not that I noticed, says Felix. But I was lost in thought. Why?

We need to find him and rejoin our sisters, says third female spider.

Follow the bike tracks, says Felix. See, here they are in the sand. This is where you came off, this is where he kept going.

Thank you, say the three female spiders.

Good luck with being a hermit, says the fourth one, who possibly likes him.

They start walking off.

I'll go with you a little way, says Felix.

Third and fifth female spider follow the bike tracks, through the sand.

Felix and fourth female spider follow third and fifth female spider.

They are talking.

Felix: Have you ever seen yourself in a mirror?

Fourth female spider: No.

Felix: I don't recommend it.

Fourth female spider: Why? Have you done it?

Felix: Yes. Gaius said I looked like a cat, with my ear-like protrusions, but when he showed me my image in a mirror, I looked like a clown.

Fourth female spider: I don't think you look like a clown.

Felix: Is that because you're a maratus felinus?

Fourth female spider: Is that a science name?

Felix: It's a cat name.

Fourth female spider: So is Felix.

Felix: Is it?

Fourth female spider: Yes. It means lucky.

Felix; This gives me hope that you might be.

Fourth female spider: We don't use science names. We have our secret names. Like yours is Felix.

Felix: That's not my secret name.

Fourth Female spider: What is it?

Felix: What's yours?

They whisper their secret names to one another.

We won't pry.

They lag further behind third and fifth female spider.

Shh. We can just hear Felix whispering.

Felix (whispering): Have you ever eaten baked beans?

Fourth female spider: No, have you? Are they yummy?

Felix: So yummy.

Sometimes We Feign Interest

Baby Pierre rides his bicycle towards the next camp site, where he left Ar-Lu-Lun.

On board are the five female spiders.

He did not specify where they should sit.

He allowed them to choose their own perches.

But he did not factor in certain elements.

Namely, that they themselves would not factor in certain elements.

Consequently, three female spiders have been flung off, as soon as he started.

No one has noticed.

Except of course them.

Who now should we follow?

Group A, consisting of Baby Pierre and two female spiders, on their way to meet Ar-Lu-Lun?

Or Group B, consisting of the third, fourth and fifth female spiders, who have again landed under a shrub?

Group B is about to have an interesting encounter.

Third, fourth and fifth female spiders right themselves.

Nothing broken? Okay.

We shouldn't have chosen to ride on the spokes, says the fifth female spider.

That will teach us, says the fourth.

Look who's coming! says the third female spider.

It's Felix, who, having decided to live the rest of his life as a hermit, is not in a hurry.

They do not know it is Felix.

Felix does not know it is them.

Hello, says the fifth female spider. Know who we are?

Three women, says Felix. I'm not dancing, if that's what you hope.

Refreshing answer, says fifth female spider. Usually, we can't stop you. Sometimes we feign interest, sometimes we hide.

As if I care, says Felix. I have the miseries. I'm going to live the rest of my life as a hermit.

Better hurry up then, says fourth female spider, not unkindly.

We were on Smarty's bike, says third female spider. But we were flung off, due to centrifugal forces we were unaware of until that moment.

I can ride a bike, says Felix. I rode Baby Pierre's, but now I'm not allowed to.

Baby Pierre is the true name of Smarty, says fifth sister. You know him?

We are best buddies, says Felix. Are you trying to find him?

We could be, says the fourth female spider.

What does that mean? asks Felix.

We could hang out with you, says the fourth female spider.

No we couldn't, say her sisters, quickly.

Felix begins to wonder if fourth female spider is a fellow maratus felinus, and likes him.

It's so hard to tell.

The Free And The Bonded

What now indeed?

The five female spiders can go their own way now.

Are we all off ? asks one.

I suppose so, says another. I hope I'm good at directions.

Who's going to give you directions? asks a third female spider.

I didn't mean that, says the second. I meant north, west and south.

And east, says a fourth one.

There, you see, says the second female spider. I'm no good at directions.

That's pretty basic, says the fifth.

I vote we stick together, says the first female spider. After all we've been through, we've bonded.

They agree that they've bonded.

I think we should find Ar-Lu-Lun, says the fourth one. Give him a second viewing.

Of us? asks the third one.

Of him, says the fourth.

Hee-hee, they all think this is funny.

What if they all turned up and gave Ar-Lu-Lun a second viewing?

Delicious.

But where did he go?

Smarty! says the first female spider. Let's ask Smarty.

There he is, riding his bicycle! says the third female spider.

She means Baby Pierre.

He won't like it if they all call him Smarty.

Hey! calls the first female spider. Smarty!

Baby Pierre continues to do wheelies and edgies.

Hey, YOU ON THE BIKE! calls the female spider.

Baby Pierre heads towards them and executes a grand stoppie.

Ruuuurch!

Five female spiders! They must have escaped from the tin. Ha ha Lavender.! But not escaped completely, because here they are under a shrub, calling him loudly.

Why have you stopped here? asks Baby Pierre. You might get re-captured.

No chance, Smarty, says the first female spider.

Why are you calling me Smarty? asks Baby Pierre.

Lavender, says the third female spider. She called you Smarty. She said she was smarter than you. But we escaped, so she isn't.

That doesn't make me a Smarty, says Baby Pierre. I'm Baby Pierre, atheist and free thinker.

Bus catcher and bike rider and and causer of accidents, says the fifth female spider.

Did Lavender say that? asks Baby Pierre.

She must have. He is secretly pleased.

Stop calling me Smarty, says Baby Pierre, and I'll help you. Want a lift anywhere?

We want a lift to Ar-Lu-Lun, says the first female spider.

The others raise their eyebrows. A lift? Do we?

Okay says Baby Pierre. I know where he is. Hop on.

What Now, Girls?

Did they agree to an air hole? asks Elodie.

Yes, says Lavender. And they agreed not to escape.

So we'd better give them an air hole, says Elodie. I'll go and look for a hammer and nail.

She goes off to look in the camper.

Lavender waits by the tin.

What are you doing? asks Baby Pierre, who is back from delivering Ar-Lu-Lun to the campsite of Raoul and Markus.

Guarding the spiders, says Lavender. Waiting for Elodie to come back and make them an air hole.

Where will it be? asks Baby Pierre.

In the top, says Lavender.

But the top is the bottom, says Baby Pierre.

Trust him to think of this problem.

If you make a hole there, says Baby Pierre, you won't ever be able to use the tin for carrying liquids. Or even fine powders.

Okay smarty, says Lavender.

The female spiders inside the dark tin are listening.

We might not get our air hole, says one. We should have escaped when we had the opportunity.

The others are inclined to agree.

If a corner of the tin is lifted a second time, they will make a run for it.

They arrange themselves, five at each corner.

You never know which corner it will be.

Elodie comes back with a tin opener.

This is all I could find. It's a jabber.

Let's see, says Lavender.

It's a sharp pointed jabber.

Elodie is about to jab it in.

Wait, says Lavender. Maybe we shouldn't make this air hole in the top, because actually, the top is the bottom, and we'll be wrecking it for ever.

I said that FIRST, says Baby Pierre.

Good on you, says Elodie. Both of you. I'll make a hole in the side, near the rim.

She lifts up a corner.

Five female spiders run out.

Oops, says Elodie.

She drops the corner down quickly, and makes the air hole without lifting it again.

Inside the tin there are now only fifteen female spiders.

The five escaped female spiders run until they reach a low shrub. They stop there.

What now, girls?

No One Likes Helping

Lavender is now under the tin, with the female spiders.

It's dark and smelly.

It occurs to her that she has not made adequate provision should she wish to retreat.

There should be some sort of rope, or twisted bandage.

Elodie could have tied it round her, and could use it to pull her out.

But it's too late to think of that now.

The female spiders have gathered around her.

She can feel their slow breaths, and their tickling whiskers.

She can't see their round eyes.

Speak, Lavender.

Remember me? says Lavender.

Fer-hoo. (We do)

Would you guys like an air hole? asks Lavender.

Fer-hoo. (We would like an airhole)

This is going well, but Lavender doesn't know it.

She continues.

You can have an air hole if you promise not to escape.

Ferhoo. (We promise)

Speak English, says Lavender. I don't understand you.

We don't understand YOU, says a female spider. First you catch us, and then you release us and then you put us under a tin. Then you come in and offer us an air hole if we promise not to escape from it. If that's not crazy, what is?

I was just helping, says Lavender. I like helping.

We don't believe you, says another female spider. No one likes helping. What's your real motive?

To be better than Baby Pierre, says Lavender. I'm braver, and smarter but everyone thinks he's the brave smart one. He catches buses. He rides bikes. He causes accidents on purpose. But I've been into a Hell Hole.

It's hardly a hell hole, says a third female spider. It's just a stinky old upturned tin.

A REAL Hell Hole, says Lavender. I had a twisted bandage tied round me. I was lowered in. I met Pluto.

The female spiders have all heard of Pluto.

What did he say?

He said Have you seen my wifey? says Lavender. He said he missed her.

Hah! says a fourth female spider.

Hah! say a few of the others.

They are thinking the same thing.

What sort of god calls his wife wifey?

He was scary, says Lavender. There were fumes. It was scarier than this. But this time I don't have a bandage tied round me to escape with. If I had, I could tug on it, and Elodie would lift up the tin and pull me out quickly.

So how do you plan to get out? asks the first female spider. Did you not prearrange anything? How were you going to let Elodie know if we agree to an air hole?

Lavender realises that she has acted rashly. And Elodie has let her.

You could bang on the tin, says the second (or third) female spider.

Do you agree to the airhole? asks Lavender.

Yes, say all twenty female spiders. All this talk about Pluto has used up a great deal of air.

Bang! Bang! Lavender bangs on the tin. Elodie lifts a corner.

It's not the corner Lavender is expecting.

The female spiders could easily run out while Lavender locates the right corner.

But they do not. They respect her. She once stood up to Pluto.

At Least One Dangerous Place

Shu can't believe it.

Where did Arthur go? asks Shu.

Has he gone off again? asks Gaius. Perhaps he and Sprocket have driven into Pemberton for a third time.

But what for? asks Shu. We have all these smoked delicacies still, and plenty of water.

I know not, says Gaius.

He is watching the female peacock spiders who are not bunched together as much as they were.

I'll call him, says Gaius. Ask him to bring back dividers.

He calls Arthur's number.

What is it? says Arthur.

Arthur, says Gaius, are you heading into Pemberton?

Yes, says Arthur. There's a meeting Sprocket wants to go to, at the Holy Smoke Café.

A meeting? says Gaius. Why would Sprocket want to go to a country-based meeting?

It's about Saving Lake Jasper, says Arthur.

What from? asks Gaius.

His female spiders are drifting away.

He gestures to Elodie. Do something!

Elodie has two options. Catch them one by one, or lower the tin over the lot of them.

She chooses the latter.

Now the female spiders are trapped in the darkness.

This is not sustainable.

Gaius knows he must not forget to ask Arthur to purchase dividers.

But Arthur is explaining that a mining lease has been lodged over a part of the Gingilup-Jasper Wetland System, only three hundred metres from the shore of Lake Jasper.

Why didn't you tell me? asks Gaius. I should have liked to have come.

Sprocket's going to video it, says Arthur.

But without my input, says Gaius. Never mind, it can't be helped now. Make sure you let them know I'm supportive.

Sure, says Arthur. Anything else?

Yes, says Gaius. We have a troupe of female peacock spiders trapped under a tin. They won't be enjoying it. But I want to study their natural behaviour.

Let them go, says Arthur. You'll see their natural behaviour.

Not yet, says Gaius. We have lost all our males. So I need to keep these females, but not in a group situation. When you're in Pemberton, purchase some dividers. I'll reimburse you.

Dividers? says Arthur. To divide female spiders from one another? How many are there?

Gaius estimates about twenty.

Done, says Arthur, ringing off.

Lavender is creating a scene, about the female spiders.

They might be dying! says Lavender.

No they'll be fine, says Elodie. It's only till Arthur comes back.

It's dark and smelly, says Lavender. At least make an air hole.

They might escape through it, says Elodie.

We could ask them not to, says Lavender. I'll go in and ask them not to.

Okay, says Elodie. I'll quickly lift up a corner. You run in, if you want to.

She doesn't think Lavender will really want to enter a dark smelly tin filled with female spiders she has helped capture, and ask them not to escape if they are granted an air hole.

But Lavender has been in many dangerous places.

Well, at least one.

And she survived it.

Lift up the corner, says Lavender. I'm going in.