Photograph Of The Future

I need a ladder, says Terence. I'm not high enough.

No ladder, says Gaius. You might drop my phone.

I WOULD'NT, says Terence.

I'll hoist him up on my shoulders, says Kierkegaard.

Terence is overjoyed when this happens.

Now Terence is perched on Kierkegaard's shoulders, near the kitchen table, where the crabs are arranging Alexander-Times-Roman into one piece.

Ready? shouts Terence.

No, says Alexander-Red-Hook. There's still a gap in Alexander-Times-Roman. Push, boys!

The boy crabs push the two pieces even closer together.

Alexander-Times-Roman begins to look lifelike.

Ready? shouts Terence.

They must be, says Kierkegaard. They've stopped pushing, and Alexander-Times-Roman looks lifelike.

Wait, says Alexander-Curly. Shouldn't the dead be in order?

They are in order, says Terence.

No, he died first, says Alexander-Curly. He should be at the end. Then Alexander-Yellowsun in her pickle jar, then whoever's supposed to die next, and so on.

I'm staying next to dear Alex, says Alexander-Red-Hook. Even though I'll die last.

It doesn't matter, says Kierkegaard. Any order will do for this photo. When you've all died, we'll take another.

The crabs are quiet, picturing the photograph of the future.

Terence presses the white circle on Gaius's camera. Ker-lick. A photo.

He takes a few more.

The phone rings, Terence answers.

Hello.

Terence, hey little dude, how come you've got Gaius's phone?

It's Sweezus!

Guess what, says Terence. I'm up a ladder, taking photos of crabs.

Cool, says Sweezus. How many crabs are in the photo?

Six, says Terence. Two dead ones and four alive ones.

Awesome, says Sweezus. Why are you up a ladder?

He's not up a ladder, says Kierkegaard. He's on my shoulders.

Was that Kierkegaard's voice? asks Sweezus.

No, says Terence. It was my ladder.

It was Kierkegaard, says Sweezus. Can I talk to him?

You can't talk to a ladder, says Terence.

Have you finished taking the photos? asks Sweezus.

Yes, says Terence.

Well, get down off the ladder, says Sweezus. You don't want to accidentally drop the phone and ruin the photos.

Put me down, says Terence.

I thought you couldn't talk to a ladder, says Sweezus.

I was talking to one of the crabs, says Terence. It's pinching my toe.

(This is what happens when you lie. You have to keep going).

Okay, says Sweezus. I get that. How did the photo turn out?

How do I know? says Terence.

Look at it, says Sweezus.

Yikes! says Terence. One of the crabs has turned into a lid!

Was it in a jar? asks Sweezus.

Yes, says Terence.

That would explain it, says Sweezus. You might have to take the photo from eye level. Why are you up a ladder anyway?

So we don't see their bottoms, says Terence.

That's a good reason, says Sweezus. Okay, little buddy, can I speak to Gaius?

No, says Terence. He's busy. But now you can speak to the ladder.