Meant As A Sign

Lauren returns with the two salad bowls. One red, one burnt sienna.

Now I must get this right, says Kierkegaard. Which crab goes in which?

I was in the blue one, says Alexander-Groovy. It's broken.

Of course, says Kierkegaard. Will you mind being in the red one?

He might, says Alexander-Red-Hook. Our friend died in it, remember.

I don't mind at all, says Alexander-Groovy.

Good, says Kierkegaard. Mind over matter.

Water first? asks Lauren.

Crab first, says Kierkegaard.

He finds he likes making scientific decisions.

Alexander-Groovy gets in.

Kierkegaard covers him with water.

O that feels nice.

Lovely sea water, with only the usual amount of pollution.

But then he remembers. Microplastics have not yet been added.

Kierkegaard is fiddling about in his pocket.

Lauren is watching.

Kierkegaard pulls out a bag of tiny plastic bits and pieces.

Teaspoon? says Kierkegaard.

Was that the precious thing in your pocket? asks Lauren.

No, says Kierkegaard. I mean yes.

It wasn't, but he hopes to mislead her.

No, I mean yes. Lauren has heard that before. There must be something else in his pocket.

She fetches a teaspoon.

Wait, says Kierkegaard. I just need to confirm that I'm giving the right dose to this crab.

Alexander-Groovy had the medium concentration, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

And I had the lowest, says Alexander-Curly.

So the one with the highest concentration of microplastics in the water died first, says Lauren.

Yes, says Kierkegaard. What a pity he died of something else entirely.

The glass shard, says Lauren. Yes, I see that was a pity. But perhaps it was meant as a sign.

A sign was not required, says Kierkegaard. A simple death from toxic ingestion would have been sufficient.

Nevertheless, it happened, says Lauren.

Can we get on with it? asks Alexander-Curly. If there's too much time lag between me and him getting into our seawater, the experiment will have no significance.

It may have no significance already, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

But Kierkegaard, proud of the scientific rigour he has just demonstrated to Lauren, is not having that.