No Easter This Year

Lauren and Kierkegaard return to the table.

All the pizza is gone.

Anyone for fruit? asks Lauren. I have apples.

Not me, says Terence. I had one on the bus.

Yes and choked, says Gaius.

I still am choking, says Terence,

He coughs.

Are you sure that's caused by an apple? asks Belle.

Can we take his temperature? asks Marie.

Sure, says Lauren. I've got one of those contactless ones.

She goes to the bathroom to get it.

Did you get the crabs sorted out? asks Gaius.

Yes, says Kierkegaard. Seawater in, crabs in, microplastics added, in medium and low doses.

That's nice of you, says Marie. No high doses.

The two crabs with the highest concentrations have died already, says Gaius.

There's nothing nice about that, says Belle.

They did volunteer, says Gaius.

They complied, says Kierkegaard.

May as well be honest.

Lauren comes back with the contactless thermometer. She points it at Terence's head.

Twenty degrees. That can't be right.

She places her hand on his forehead.

Terence coughs. C-hah!

He feels cold, says Lauren.

I DON'T! says Terence.

Don't worry little buddy, says Sweezus. That's probably your normal. Let me check out the normal temperature range for cement.

He taps on his smart phone.

Between ten and thirty four degrees, says Sweezus.

Wah! says Terence.

It's cool. You're right in the middle, says Sweezus.

Cheer up, says Lauren. Would you like me to find you a chocolate?

Yeah thanks, says Sweezus.

I meant Terence, says Lauren.

He's not allowed chocolate, says Belle.

I am if I don't eat it, says Terence.

I'll eat it, says Arthur.

So Lauren gets out a milk chocolate bunny she was planning to sell before Easter, but can't now she's closed.

May as well eat it, says Lauren. No proper Easter this year.

Sweezus, who had been scowling at the milk chocolate bunny, brightens up.