They'll All Be Dead Shortly

Arthur leaves the crabs, and goes back to the table, for more pizza.

How're they doing? asks Sweezus.

Good, says Arthur. I gave them a last line for their poem.

What's this? asks Gaius. What poem?

He ought to know. But he hasn't been listening.

Eulogy for one of the dead ones, says Arthur.

Dear me, says Gaius. They'll all be dead shortly, and all at the same time, ruining the experiment. Where's that sea water?

Still in the bucket, says Lauren.

I'll do it, says Kierkegaard.

He stands up.

I'll help you, says Lauren.

How nice is Lauren?

Not so nice that she's given up trying to pry into his pocket.

They leave the table and head for the bucket.

What was it? asks Sweezus, wiping his tee shirt, which he's dripped pizza sauce on.

What was what? asks Arthur.

Come on, Arthur! says Belle. The last line of the poem you gave them.

A crab by day, with Golden intentions, says Arthur.

That's beautiful, says Marie. It reminds me of an ancient Greek story, the Golden Crab.

Apparently the fish told it to them, says Arthur. Crab by day, man by night, eagle whenever it wanted.

Heavy, says Sweezus.

Not heavy, says Marie. Erotic.

No way! says Sweezus.

It marries a king's daughter, says Marie.

The crab does? says Sweezus. How's that work?

Man by night, says Marie.

What did it do in the day time? asks Belle.

Went in tournaments, says Marie. I don't know what it dressed up as, but one day the princess's mother burned its shell when it was out jousting.

That should've fixed everything, says Sweezus. It would have had to keep being a man.

But it was crab in the daytime! shouts Terence.

We're upsetting Terence, says Belle.

Maybe it was jousting at night, says Arthur. Did they do that?

I'm sure they did, says Belle, looking at Terence.

But Terence has remembered the eagle that the crab could turn into whenever it wanted.

So he is quite happy.