No one is looking forward to the cobbles.
Some riders are pretending they are.
Bring it on, say one or two of them.
But who can believe them?
Pablo has talked to Sirene, before the race started.
What's in our feedbags today? he has asked.
Lovely things, she has replied.
Not too sugary I hope? he has responded.
Sugar gives you a great burst of energy, she has smiled.
That is so, Pablo has answered, but we need protein also.
What is protein? Sirene has looked puzzled.
Pablo had to go then, because the race was just starting, but now he holds little hope of Team Condor triumphing today.
Later, as the teams reach the cobbles, Sweezus feels hungry.
He reaches into his ovoid back pocket, where he has shoved something sticky.
O yum! A marmalade croqueline!
Bump! He hits the first cobble.
He drops the marmalade croqueline.
Bugger! And he can't stop now, can he?
Pablo and Arthur are not far behind him, watching his back.
They are in a position to see what happens next.
The marmalade croqueline lies inert, between two real cobbles.
Being orange, it looks like a third cobble.
Several riders flatten it. Sweeeersh!
Baby Pierre, who has mapped his way, in his head, between the cobbles, is confounded.
Pluh! He hits the pastry, and falls off his bike.
The two riders of team Romeo-Knowlesi stop behind him.
Give me that bike, cries Baby Pierre. It's mine anyway!
Will they or won't they?
Arthur and Pablo have passed the marmalade carnage by now, so we do not know.
They pass Vingegaard, who has just had a puncture, and Wout van Aert, who has heroically stopped to support him.
They pass Sweezus, who is flagging because of the lack of the snack.
But it is minutes (at least) before they get to the finish and find out that Simon Clarke has won the stage, for Team Israel Premier Tech. An Aussie!
Top job, Clarkey!
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