Wah! Baa!

Scene four.

The king enters, followed by Candide and Cacambo.

The king gestures towards the scientific machine.

Three thousand of my most celebrated scientists have made this máquina, says the king.

It looks sturdy, says Cacambo. Are we to get into the basket?

Si, says the king. And there is room for two large red sheep.

Excellent, says Candide. And thank you for allowing us to depart with so much treasure.

The old man comes on, with a box, which he hands to Cacambo.

Not at all! says the king. What you call tesoro is worthless to us. Mere stones and mud, to which you are certainly welcome.

Candide climbs into the basket. Cacambo follows. 

Where are our two sheep? asks Candide. We can't go without them. We are to ride them when we have passed over the mountains.

They are coming, says the king. 

Terence and Hedley run on in their sheep shorts, under their woolly cardboard head.

They stop, and begin singing a song which no one was expecting:

beep beep beep!

don't go to sleep!

we're two red sheep! 

They turn and wiggle their red knitted tails at the audience.

The audience begins clapping.

Terence and Hedley take their cardboard head off, and bow.

Why have you only got one head? shouts someone.

Because only one of us gets there, says Terence. The other one drowns.

How do you drown in a basket going over a mountain? shouts someone else.

It doesn't happen yet, says Terence. It happens later.

Moving on, says Candide. It's time we got going. Your majesty, may I trouble you to lift our sheep into the basket?

Strictly speaking, says the king, I shouldn't. It's not a king's job. But for my esteemed visitors, I shall make an exception.

He lifts the sheep in, and hands their cardboard head to Cacambo.

Behind the painted blue mountains, a creaking sound is heard.

Creak.

The basket is slowly lifted, until it is level with the brown painted sky.

Candide and Cacambo climb out of the basket and onto a ladder, beside the basket.

They climb up the ladder and disappear over the top of the painted scenery, and down another ladder behind it.

What about us! shouts Terence.

Stay in, whispers Hedley. They're pulling us over.

Creak.

The basket containing the sheep doesn't move.

Something wrong with the pulley? asks Frank Cheung from the audience.

I think not, says the king. My scientists have worked tirelessly...

But you can't tell Frank anything. This is about the reputation of Bunnings.

He strides onto the stage, and disappears behind the painted scenery.

Tap-tap, bang, creak. The basket of sheep shoots up and is dragged over the top of the scenery.

Wah! Baa! cry the sheep.