Vello returns to the stage.
Are we all ready for scene three? asks Vello.
Yes! shout two people.
Will we be squirted again? asks another.
No, says Vello. If you remain awake, there will be no more squirting.
He continues:
Our heroes are invited to a banquet at the palace of the King of Eldorado. They arrive in a carriage drawn by six sheep. They are given robes of state, made of hummingbird down, and led to the banquet room where they are greeted by His Majesty.
Vello withdraws.
Scene Three. The Banquet.
Candide and Cacambo enter, wearing the blue feathered cloaks made from feathers purchased at Spotlight.
Their trousers sparkle with blue sequins.
A thin curtain is drawn back to reveal a low table at which several richly dressed people are squatting.
One of whom is the king, in a glittery costume.
The other two are Belle and Hedley's mother, dressed as court ladies.
Woooo! There is a low ripple of approval from a section of the audience.
Friends of Hedley's mother.
Bienvenidos, strangers, says Arthur (the king).
Thank you, your majesty, says Candide, embracing and kissing the king on both cheeks.
Sit down, por favor, says the king.
Candide and Cacambo squat at the table, beside the court ladies.
They begin drinking imaginary wine and eating imaginary food from imaginary plates piled with lavish imaginary food, on the low table.
Your majesty, says Candide, we have seen many wondrous things in your country. Your fountains of rose water, your public squares paved with precious stones smelling of cloves and cinnamon, your Palace of Science, with it's mathematical and scientific instruments.
Qué? says the king.
That was a long speech in English, says Hedley's mother.
Forgive me, says Candide. I do not speak Spanish.
What a pity. The king is very witty in Spanish, says Belle.
Si, says the king, holding up an imaginary sauce bottle.
The king is holding up an imaginary sauce bottle, says Belle.
Quièn eres? says the king.
The king is asking the sauce bottle, 'what are you?' says Belle.
Soy sauce! says the king, in the sauce voice.
Ha ha! laughs Hedley's mother.
Soy means 'I am' in Spanish, explains Belle. So the sauce has replied, I am sauce. But it is witty because there is such a thing as soy sauce in English.
Ha ha! laugh Candide and Cacambo. Soy sauce! Very witty.
Everyone in the audience has heard of soy sauce. Soon everyone is laughing.
Do you intend to remain in our country? asks Belle.
As wonderful as it is, says Candide, I miss the lady Cunégonde. And I must find her. Therefore I must leave your country.
Un plan tonto, says the king.
He says it's a foolish plan, says Hedley's mother. And he has not yet told you his joke about the magician.
We have time to hear it, says Candide.
So the king tells the joke about the disappearing magician.
In broken English
Uno, dos, poof.... (he disappeared without a tres).
The court ladies titter, although they would have heard it before.
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